Tag: hadith

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Marriage

10 Ways to be the Ideal Muslim Husband

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

images (3)Zainab bint Younus, Canada

MARITAL ADVICE LISTS are common to find in Muslim literature and lectures, yet the information is almost always targeted towards women. However, we all know that it takes two to tango – and so here is a list aimed at Muslim husbands in the hopes that they, too, will benefit and be able to improve their relationships.

1. Have taqwa and iḥsân

Know that you are responsible for your end of the marriage, regardless of how the other party treats you. Fulfill your wife’s rights without demanding yours first, and know that you seek Allah’s Pleasure over anyone else’s. Do your job with excellence, and don’t make it conditional. Iḥsân is not merely to worship in the ritual sense, but to conduct oneself in general with an awareness that Allah is Al-Raqîb (the Ever-Watchful), and to fulfill one’s duties in the best of manners.

Then he (Jibrîl) said, “Inform me about iḥsân.” He (the Messenger of Allah) answered, “It is that you should serve Allah as though you could see Him, for though you cannot see Him yet (know that) He sees you.” (Muslim)

2. Respect her

Remember that Allah describes marriage as a bond of love and mercy – love ebbs and flows, but mercy and respect must always be there, even – especially – in times of conflict. Unfortunately, we tend to present respect as a quality that men need (“men need respect, women need affection”). The truth is, however, that one can love someone without respecting them… and this is very, very dangerous. To have mercy and respect one’s wife is to never assume that she exists merely as an extension of you or to serve your needs. To respect her is to honor her, to defend her from harm and others’ accusations, and to have husn al-ẓann of her.

In cases of disagreement, this respect translates as not forcing your own opinion upon her when there is Islamically acceptable room for differences of opinion.

It should go without saying, but unfortunately it bears repeating nonetheless – respecting your wife means never, ever, abusing her, physically or otherwise.

“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.”  [Sûrat Al-Rûm, 30:21]

Even in times of conflict, Allah tells us to behave in the most respectful and gracious of manners:

And do not forget graciousness between you.  [Sûrat Al-Baqarah, 2:237]

Abû Mûsa Al-Ashʿari (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:

I asked the Messenger of Allah: “Who is the most excellent among the Muslims?” He said, “One from whose tongue and hands the other Muslims are secure.”  [1]

3.  Be emotionally intelligent

Empathy, being attuned to the other person’s preferences, learning to understand their personality and responding appropriately without expecting to change them into something they’re not… supporting and respecting each other as both individuals and as a team. The Prophet ﷺ was an emotionally intelligent husband, who knew the differences in his wives’ personalities and interacted with them in a manner best suited to each woman. He comforted Ṣufiyyah when she wept; he had spirited discussions with ʿÂishah (May Allah be pleased with her) and he encouraged Ḥafṣah’s (May Allah be pleased with her) for knowledge.

In a famous narration known as the Hadith of Abu Zarʿ(May Allah be pleased with him) [2]  ʿAishah told the Prophet ﷺ the story of eleven women who sat together and described their husbands’ qualities and behaviours. The eleventh woman, Umm Zarʿ, described Abû Zarʿas a man who was extremely generous to his wife, showering her with gifts; who went out of his way to please her; who never rebuked her or verbally abused her; who made sure that she was comfortable and satisfied. To Umm Zarʿ, there was no greater husband than Abû Zarʿ- and the Prophet ﷺ himself told ʿÂishah, I am to you as Abû Zarʿwas to Umm Zarʿ, except that I will never divorce you.

4.  Be a True Qawwâm

Know that being a qawwâm is a matter of being a good leader – not authoritarian or a dictator, but someone who inspires love and respect, who treats others with dignity and respect… The popular book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is a great resource for understanding what good leadership is. There are several excellent Islamic resources discussing leadership lessons from the life of the Prophet ﷺ.  [3]  [4]   Strive to embody the Sunnah in your character, not just in how many rakʿahs a day you pray.

ʿÂishah RA described the Prophet thus: “His character was the Quran.” [5] Be the type of husband that a wife describes in such a manner.

Remember that as a qawwâm, you are responsible and accountable for the well-being of your household and those under your care.

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

“Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The amîr (ruler) who is over the people is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock; a man is a shepherd in charge of the inhabitants of his household and he is responsible for his flock…”  [6]

5.  Be friends before you become spouses

That might sound odd (or not) – but we often put so much pressure on ourselves to fulfill a role (husband/wife), that we forget to get to know each other as friends first. Every marriage will go through ups and downs, intimately and otherwise… and you’ll be surprised to realize how much having a solid, sincere friendship can pull you through the hard times.

One example of RasûlAllah’s “friendship” with his wives is his relationship with Sawdah bint Zamʿah RA. She was the first woman whom he married after the death of Khadijah, and although she was considered to be elderly and not as beautiful as the other women whom he would later marry, their relationship was one of camaraderie, confidence, and laughter.  [7]

6.  Don’t be embarrassed or ignorant of female biology

Learn about it – from menstruation to female sexuality to pregnancy and everything else. You need to know this stuff – it will impact your life significantly, intimately and otherwise. Don’t laugh it off or act as though it’s not worth your time and attention. Women’s health is sorely misunderstood, and having a disinterested (or worse, disgusted) husband can make things even more difficult for women.

The Prophet ﷺ did not shy away from these matters, either as a husband or as a Messenger of Allah. Instead, he constantly enjoined men to be aware of and sensitive to their wives’ needs – just as he was with his wives.

Narrated Umm Salamah RA:

While I was laying with the Prophet ﷺ under a single woolen sheet, I got the menses. I slipped away and put on the clothes for menses. He said, “Have you got “nifâs” (menses)?” I replied, “Yes.” He then called me and made me lie with him under the same sheet.   [8]

7.  Be responsible

Being “a good Muslim husband” doesn’t just mean fulfilling the basic rights as a husband and leaving it at that. Being a good Muslim husband means that you are on the ball as a responsible adult – whether it’s paying the bills, taking out the trash, cleaning a mess in the house, or being an engaged father (not ‘babysitting’). Doing these things is not a “kindness to the wife,” or “helping out at home.” It’s not “extra credit” and deserving of lavish praise. It is part and parcel of being a grown man responsible for his surroundings, his family, and himself. Do these things out of mindfulness that Allah will never waste your efforts for His Sake.

Narrated Al-Aswad RA:

I asked ʿÂishah what did the Prophet use to do at home. She replied. “He used to keep himself busy serving his family and when it was time for the prayer, he would get up for prayer.” (Bukhâri)

ʿÂishah RA reported:

I was asked, “What did the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, do in his house?” I said, “The Prophet was a man among men. He would remove fleas from his clothes, milk his sheep, and serve himself.” (Musnad Ahmad 25662)

8.  Don’t pursue your nawâfil at the expense of your wife’s farâ’iḍ

One issue that many men fall into is that in their zeal to engage more in ʿibâda, they end up burdening their wives even more – to the extent that she is barely able to pray her five ṣalawât with khushûʿ. Both spouses should encourage and facilitate opportunities for each other to strengthen as Muslims, but mothers of young children especially need their husbands to step up so that they can have the necessary time they need to reconnect with Allah and flourish spiritually. (And no, that doesn’t just mean five minutes here and there.)

Ramadan is a time when this becomes more obvious than ever – for example, many men will go to Ṣalat Al-Ṭarâwîḥ while leaving their wives to deal with the children, in addition to having cooked ifṭâr beforehand. On a daily basis, though, go out of your way to facilitate your wife’s ʿibâda and spiritual connection.

Narrated Abû Juḥaifah RA:

The Prophet ﷺ made a bond of brotherhood between Salmân Al-Fârisi RA and Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA. Salmân RA paid a visit to Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA and found Umm Al-Dardâ’ RA dressed in shabby clothes and asked her why she was in that state. She replied, “Your brother Abû Al-Dardâ’ R is not interested in (the luxuries of) this world.”

In the meantime Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA came and prepared a meal for Salmân RA. Salmân RA requested Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA to eat (with him), but Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA said, “I am fasting.” Salmân RA said, “I am not going to eat unless you eat.”

So, Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA ate (with Salmân). When it was night and (a part of the night had passed), Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA got up (to offer the night prayer), but Salmân RA told him to sleep and Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA slept.

After sometime Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA again got up but Salmân RA told him to sleep. When it was the last hours of the night, Salmân RA told him to get up then, and both of them offered the prayer.

Salmân RA told Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA, “Your Lord has a right on you, your soul has a right on you, and your family has a right on you; so you should give the rights of all those who has a right on you.”

Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA came to the Prophet ﷺ and narrated the whole story. The Prophet ﷺ said, “Salmân RA has spoken the truth.”   [9]

9.  Learn conflict resolution skills

One big reason that couples end up going to Shuyûkh for counseling is because they simply haven’t learned how to communicate and resolve conflicts in a healthy manner. It’s not even about one specific issue or another; it’s about learning how to deal with whatever issues arise, in the most respectful and appropriate manner possible.  [10]

The Quran and Sunnah urge positive reconciliation between believers, and especially between husbands and wives.

“And live with them honourably. For if you dislike them – perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.” [Sûrat Al-Nisâ’, 4:19]

“And if a woman fears from her husband contempt or evasion, there is no sin upon them if they make terms of settlement between them – and settlement is best. And present in [human] souls is stinginess. But if you do good and fear Allah – then indeed Allah is ever with what you do, Acquainted.” [Sûrat Al-Nisâ’, 4:128]

10. Love your wife for who she is

Not because she’s the person who cooks for you or does your laundry. Not because she’s the mother of your child(ren). Not because you’ve settled into routine and you feel comfortable having her around and she knows how to work the coffee maker and where the family’s paperwork is filed. Love her for her. Her personality traits, her talents, her hobbies, the things about her that make her unique.

Notice them, appreciate them, compliment them. Let her know that you don’t just see her as wife or mother, but as an individual on her own. Know that long before she married you, indeed long before she was born to her own parents, she was created as a separate soul – a human being whose primary identity is as a slave of Allah.

And most importantly – let her know that you love her, with all the pride and openness that RasûlAllah ﷺ demonstrated when he was asked, “Who do you love most?” and he responded, simply and beautifully, “ʿÂishah.”   [11]

There are of course numerous other pieces of advice that can be dispensed on the topic – everything from giving gifts to resolving in-law issues to arranging date-nights and so on. However, more important than specific behaviours are the principles behind them – and it these principles which have been highlighted.

In short, Muslim men should strive to match the standards set by RasûlAllah ﷺ when he said:

“The best of you are those who are the best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.”   [12]

————————–

[1] http://sunnah.com/riyadussaliheen/18/2

[2] http://sunnah.com/bukhari/67/123

[3] http://muslimmatters.org/2014/10/28/lessons-in-leadership-from-the-prophet-muhammad-saw/ and http://muslimmatters.org/2014/11/04/21-lessons-in-leadership-from-the-prophet-part-2/

[4] https://theislamicworkplace.com/2006/11/15/the-leadership-process-of-muhammad-s-from-hadith/

[5] http://sunnah.com/urn/2203080

[6] http://sunnah.com/abudawud/20/1

[7] http://thesalafifeminist.blogspot.ca/2014/08/his-laughter-her-love.html

[8] http://sunnah.com/bukhari/6/5

[9] http://sahaba.net/salman-farisi-rights/

[10] https://aljumuah.com/cooling-the-fires-of-marriage-part-1-an-approach-to-conflict-resolution/

[11] http://sunnah.com/bukhari/64/384

[12] Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi, 3895; Ibn Mâjah, 1977; classed as saḥîḥ by al-Albaani in Saḥîḥ al-Tirmidhi

ZAINAB BINT YOUNUS

Zainab bint Younus is a Canadian Muslimah who has been active in grassroots da’wah and writing about Islam and the Ummah for the last nine years. She was first published in al-Ameen Newspaper (Vancouver, Canada) at the age of 14, became a co-founder, editor, and writer for MuslimMatters.org at 16; and began writing regularly for SISTERS Magazine at the age of 19 until today. She also blogs regularly at The Salafi Feminist
Categories
Current Affairs articles Muslim men

To Debate or not to Debate?

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

argue

Narrated by Aisha (Allah be pleased with her) : The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “The most hated person in the sight of Allah is the most quarrelsome person.” (Bukhari)

 

There’s an amazing Hadith found in Musnad Ahmad, Tabarani, Ibn Majah, Tirmidhi and others… It says, “No people have gone astray after having been upon guidance, except that they were given argumentation.”
ما ضل قوم بعد هدى كانوا عليه إلا أوتوا الجدل
If you’ve been around Muslim life long enough, you can sense when a time-wasting black-hole is developing. It’s very tempting to go in swinging. Most youth do simply out of lack of experience. But for those who’ve been around the block, what is the point of experience, if you simply keep falling for the allure of the black hole.
Whenever an issue comes up, our stance is that we just state the position—insist on it no matter what—and move on. One of the signs of misguided groups is that they’re always arguing. In contrast, the path our Ulama have put us upon — Allah guard them and protect them — is one in which we’re really just too busy for nonsense. We have Quran to review, and still more to memorize. We have to brush up on our Arabic regularly. Fiqh needs to be delved into. Sound Aqidah needs to be taught. Hours of dhikr need to be logged. And on top of that, there is charity to be given, youth-work to be done, Janazahs to attend. Before all of that we have families to take care of. And then suddenly, it’s Ramadhan and all of that goes on hold and we put our souls through the car-wash.
Through Masajid, retreats, trips abroad, etc, life as a Muslim makes you meet so many different types of people, that it broadens your experience and polishes your Akhlaq. People are always changing. One year they’re into something knee deep and another year, they’ve balanced out. One becomes more forgiving, calm and over-looking. With every year that passes, and every drama that comes around, reaches its high point and then and rolls away like a receding wave, you come to realize what really matters in life and in deen. And that causes a person to side-step jidaal, argumentation. State your point—you may have to state it often—then move on and leave off arguing.
Imam Malik (Allah have mercy on him) was approached by a man who asked him for a debate. Malik said, “What happens if I win?” The man said I will follow you. Imam Malik (Allah have mercy on him) said, “And if you win?” The man said, then you follow me. Then Imam Malik (Allah have mercy nn him) said, “What if a third person comes and defeats both of us?” The man said, then we both follow him. Malik concluded: “Constantly changing your beliefs is not a sign of steadfastness. I know what I am upon and I have no doubt. You however, are upon doubt. So leave me alone and go debate someone else filled with doubt.”
(Tartib al-Madarik)
One of his students said, “Shall I not try to argue with them to prove to them the truth?” Imam Malik (Allah have mercy on him) replied, “Just state the position and leave it at that. If he wants to follow it, he will.”

(Tartib al-Madarik)

It was narrated that Hudhaifah (Allah be pleased with him) said: “I heard the Messenger of Allah(ﷺ) say:‘Do not acquire knowledge in order to show off before the scholars, or to argue with the foolish, or to attract people’s attention, for whoever does that will be in Hell.'” (Ibn Majah as weak)
Those who will last the test of time are those who have something to offer. Something objective, meaty, beneficial, balanced and diverse.
Allah make us from those people, both as students and transmitters.
And Allah keep us away from argumentation, the sign of misguided people and groups.

Ameen.

Ibn Abbas (Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah(ﷺ): “Do not argue with your brother, do not joke with him, and do not make a promise, only to not fulfill it.” (Tirmidhi as weak)
Dr Shady Elmasray (Hafidhahullah)
Categories
Du'aas

Wednesday

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Question

Du’as are accepted on a Wednesday from between Dhuhr to ‘Asr. Is this correct?

Answer

This is based on the following Hadith:

Sayyiduna  Jabir (radiyallahu’anhu) reports that:

‘Rasulullah (sallallahu ’alayhi wasallam) had made du’a to Allah in Masjidul Fath (in Madinah) on a Monday, a Tuesday and a Wednesday. His du’a was accepted between Dhuhr and ‘Asr on the Wednesday.’ Sayyiduna Jabir (radiyallahu’anhu)says: ‘Whenever I had a need, I waited for that moment on a Wednesday and made du’a. Every time I did so, I noticed my du’a being accepted.’

(Al-Adabul Mufrad of Imam Bukhari, Hadith: 725, Musnad Ahmad, vol.3 pg. 332 and Musnad Bazzar; Kashful Astar, Hadith: 431)

‘Allamah Mundhiri (rahimahullah) has declared the chain of Musnad Ahmad as good (jayyid) (Targhib, Hadith: 1788. Also see Majma’uz Zawaid, vol.4 pg.12)

Moulana ‘Abdul Hayy Laknawi (rahimahullah) has stated that ‘Allamah Suyuti graded the narrators of this Hadith as good (jayyid) in his book: ‘Sihamul Isabah’ and Shaykh Samhudi (rahimahullah) -in Wafaul Wafa- declared the narrators in Musnad Ahmad as reliable. (Al-Fawaidul Bahiyyah, pg.185-186)

Benefit of starting the lesson of a book of Islamic study on a Wednesday

Question

Are there any Hadiths regarding the virtue of beginning things (such as a book) on the day of Wednesday. If so can you mention the Hadith, along with its authentication and reference?

Answer

To commence a book of knowledge on a Wednesday has been the practice of the scholars for centuries.

The Author of Al-Hidayah, the Hanafi fiqh masterpiece would also do so, and he would quote a Hadith to support it.

(Al-Fawaidul Bahiyyah, pg.32 and 185. Also see Al-Maqasidul Hasanah, Hadith: 943)

Although the latter day Muhaddithun could not locate the chain for this specific narration, this practice is still substantiated by other Hadiths whose broader meaning do lend it support.

1. The Gem of the last century, Shaykh ‘Abdul Hay Al-Laknawi (rahimahullah) has written the following:

‘I have managed to deduce a basis for this from the Hadith recorded in Bukhari’s Al-Adabul Mufrad and in Musnad Ahmad and Musnad Bazzar from Jabir (radiyallahu’anhu) who said:

‘Rasulullah (sallallahu’alayhi wasallam) had made du’a to Allah in Masjidul Fath (in Madinah) on a Monday, a Tuesday and a Wednesday. His du’a was accepted between Zuhr and ‘Asr on the Wednesday. Sayyiduna Jabir says: ‘ Whenever I had a need, I waited for that moment on a Wednesday and made du’a. Every time I did so, I noticed my du’a being accepted.’

‘Allamah Suyuti graded the narrators of this Hadith as good (jayyid) in his book: ‘Sihamul Isabah’

Shaykh Samhudi (rahimahullah) -in Wafaul Wafa- declared the narrators in Musnad Ahmad as reliable.

This Hadith points to the fact that on Wednesdays, there is a moment in which du’as are accepted. Therefore they (the Scholars) liked to commence their lessons on this day.

Since those who commence any task, generally make du’a for its easy and speedy completion, their du’as will be accepted on this day and their tasks shall be completed.’

(end of quote from Shaykh Laknawi’s (rahimahullah) book: Al-Fawaidul Bahiyyah, pg.185-186)

2. Shaykh Laknawi (rahimahullah) then cites further substantiation for this practice from Shaykh Ibn ‘Arraq Al-Kinani (rahimahullah), the author of Tanzihush Shari’ah. The summary of which is:

The Sahih Hadith (in Muslim) states that Allah Ta’ala created divine light (nur) on Wednesday, and knowledge is also termed as nur, It is therefore suitable to start our acquisition of this nur on the same day. Especially since Allah Ta’ala says: ‘…and Allah will definitely complete his nur’ (Surah Tawbah, Ayah: 32)

Conclusion

Commencing Islamic study on a Wednesday indeed has support from the Hadith and the constant practice of the ‘Ulama throughout the centuries, and is therefore recommended.

However, this does not forbid commencing the lesson on another day.

And Allah Ta’ala Knows best.

Answered by: Moulana Muhammad Abasoomar

Categories
Marriage

WORLD WAR III: Mother-In-Law VS Daughter-In-Law

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

“I am not perfect. Let’s both assume that the other is doing the best she can.”

Mother-In-Law-HeartWeddings are usually such happy occasions, full of love and hope for the future of the bride and groom. As wonderful as it can be, it can also mean mother-in-law problems. Something happens the moment a bride says, “I accept him.” Not only does she get a husband, but in most cases, a mother-in-law as well.

But far too many women describe this relationship as fragile, tense, and even competitive.

It’s no secret that in-laws are the subject of many marital arguments. The rivalry between wives and their mothers-in-law is a major source of tension in many marriages. You may find it interesting that many new brides get along very well with their husband’s parents at first; it isn’t until later—sometimes years later—that friction develops.

Time-after-time, daughters-in-law say things like, “My husband’s parents welcomed me into their family immediately and treated me as their own daughter.” Likewise, “My own in-laws showered me with gifts and included me in everything”. It’s not uncommon for young women to be very fond of their husband’s family, and vice versa… in the beginning.

Later on down the marriage, dealing with in-laws can be an overwhelming challenge—whether you are dealing with an overbearing mother-in-law who believes her opinions are superior to yours—or someone who tries to make you feel guilty whenever your needs conflict with hers. It may be tempting to gossip, hold silent grudges, or cut off all communication with troublesome in-laws – but that often just adds to the problem.

 

Mother-in-law problems can be one of the biggest issues in an engaged or married couple’s life. In some cases, they’re really more like out-laws. Some mother-in-laws have a way of letting everyone know their displeasure with the new family member over issues big and small – and yet seem to forget their own son or daughter can think or speak for themselves, and in most cases, should.

Why is it that the mother-in-law relationship can be so difficult? When you think about it, it really shouldn’t be. You have so many meaningful things in common: love for the same person, wanting what’s best for that person, and for them to be happy. For some though, it’s these same things that make for fast adversaries.

Some mother-in-law problems arise out of a competition for the attention of the adult child. Because they are now spending all of their time with their new spouse, there may not seem to be room enough for mum, which can be seen as not loving them as much anymore. When they visit mum, of course your spouse is going to take you with them – you’re now a package deal. Mother-in-law’s can be very resentful of having to share time and space with someone else.

Who would know what’s best for their kids better than a mother? As adults, however, we know what’s best for ourselves, not our mum. Some mothers, however, feel that they should reign supreme over our lives – even when we’re 45-years-old. It can be a hard habit for parents to break and some never feel compelled to stop parenting, even adult children. What makes that more difficult is that some of us don’t know how to let our mothers know that we are now adults who think for ourselves.

No one wants or needs their mother-in-law (or future one) telling them what’s best for their partner or worse, guilt-tripping them because of some imaginary slight or that they don’t measure up to her expectations. Big or small, whatever the issue may be, if she can’t refrain from commenting or speaking out inappropriately, it’s up to our spouse to talk to her. This can be difficult for our partners since for some it can seem unthinkable to speak out “against” their mother and be independent.

mother-in-law-problems

Advice for mother-in-laws:

  1. Pray for your daughter in law, rather than prey on her. Hope and pray that the marriage of your son will be successful. Don’t sit in the background and hope for your daughter-in-law to fail. Ask Allah to show you how to love your daughter-in-law as your own daughter.
  2. Try to be understanding more than criticising. Ask questions to understand. Don’t tell your daughter-in-law how things should be. Don’t expect your son to do what you want him to do anymore. Expect and encourage him to consult with his wife. Rather than question or criticize your daughter-in-law, speak to her and reason with her.
  3. Compliment your daughter-in-law; never complain about her. Honour your daughter-in-law in the presence of your son. Compliment your daughter-in-law; never complain. Make an effort to applaud, praise, and thank your daughter-in-law. Tell her how much you appreciate her positive influence on your son and why you think she’s a good mother. Your daughter-in-law may be different from you. Accept her for who she is. Realise that your daughter-in-law wasn’t raised the same way you raised your son and maybe doesn’t have the same standards you have. Perhaps she is from a different family or caste or race…Try to understand her mind set and the way her family operated. Do not try to change her into who you would like her to be.
  4. Act like a family, fight like a family, not an enemy. Encourage your son to build, develop, and define his marriage role. Don’t fight for position by grasping and grabbing for your son’s time and emotions.  Good mums want their kids to have good marriages. If you are a family, act like one. Families fight, they discuss their issues and that’s how they get resolved. This can be done lovingly and constructively, not destructively! It doesn’t have to be a he said/she said/you said situation. Tiptoeing around the problems and acting like they don’t exist doesn’t help anyone, it only hurts everyone in the long run. Ask your daughter-in-law to let you know if/when you offend her. Remember that Shaytan wants to destroy your relationship.
  5. Your son isn’t perfect, not before marriage and certainly not after. Remember that your son has always had faults. Your child was not perfect before she married him. You love your son, so does your daughter-in-law. Every change that you see in your son is not her doing. Every change that you see in your son is not her doing.

 

A good mother-in-law doesn’t make the wife feel like she doesn’t measure up, or give the impression that she wishes her son would have made a ‘better’ choice.  A good mother-in-law encourages, accepts, and loves unconditionally. Allow your daughter-in-law to disagree and know that it isn’t something personal.  Don’t be offended if a daughter-in-law does not share your tastes, dreams, and values. Tell her about decisions you faced as a mother of infants, toddlers, teenagers, young adults, etc. Talk about more than superficial things. Get to know her for the person Allah created her to be. Then, come alongside her to mentor, encourage, and build a relationship so that if/when you need to give loving input or direction, it is not taken as meddling. Express your gratitude towards her: “You truly are the wind beneath my son’s sails and I really appreciate and love you. You understand my son far better than I do, and I thank Allah for you.” “I’ve got the best daughter-in-law God could give. I am so blessed.” Finally, offer to take care of the grandkids so your daughter-in-law can have a day to herself.

Okay, mothers-in-law, there’s the list. What are we going to do about it?

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The second year of my son’s marriage, he and his wife had Thanksgiving with us. My daughter-in-law made a delicious sweet potato casserole. My mother and I complemented her on it and asked for the recipe. “It’s a family recipe,” my daughter-in-law said. “So I don’t give it out.”   —Anonymous mother-in-law

Whoa! I had thought that daughters-in-law were the ones with the in-law stories. Well, apparently mothers-in-law have their share of stories, too.

One mother-in-law wrote something that brought back memories. “That little boy that brought me dandelions and messy hugs,” she said, “is now a grown man with a family of his own. I need to fully release him so he is allowed to change and adapt to his wife and adult life.  I don’t want to be a parent who says or does things that grate in the mind of my daughter-in-law. She is the one who knows my son best now.”

Yes, a mom relinquishes her title of “first lady” in her son’s life on his wedding day. Perhaps that’s why some have described the relationship between a mother- and daughter-in-law as fragile or tense. Allah certainly didn’t intend it to be that way.

Advice for daughter-in-laws:

  1. She is still his mother, she gave birth to him. Even though you are the woman in her son’s life now, be considerate of the fact that she used to be the woman in his life. The most important thing that you can do for your mother-in-law is to love her son unconditionally…You’ve now taken the spot as her son’s biggest
  2. Respect her for who she is, think of her as your own mother. Don’t try to change your mother -in-law. Accept her eccentricities. Realise that she may do things differently in her home, try to understand her ways. Especially, if you live with them. Bear in mind her age, think of your elderly parents.

 

  1. Do not assume things, rather ask and clarify. If I have offended you, I may not know this. You have the freedom to say to me, nicely, ‘Remember when you said ______. Did you mean _____?’ I am not perfect. Let’s both assume that the other is doing the best she can. Don’t judge, there are two sides to any story.
  2. Remember, you are family and not foes! Ring your mother-in-law off your phone not your son’s phone. Take her out, just the two of you. Go shopping! Discover what you have in common. Keep your in-laws informed of their grandchildren, don’t deprive them.
  3. Express gratitude, not a bad attitude! Post on your Facebook page: ‘I am thankful for my mother-in-law! I am so grateful for our great relationship. It is so important! And ever since I got married our relationship has become so natural and I love spending time with her!’ Please take time to express your appreciation for a gift by writing a note or calling just to say, ‘Thanks!’ If she or any of your in-laws visit you welcome them in with a smile, prepare something special for them. Show your happiness, don’t block yourself from them.

Some mothers- and daughters-in-law form close friendships very quickly. For others, this may take years. But most mothers- and daughters-in-law do want to connect with each other. They want to find common ground. They want to know each other as individual women with feelings, beliefs, and ideas. Do not fight your mother-in-law over your husband and same to the mother-in-law over your son. If the daughter-in-law cooks something or buys something for her husband, please do not compete with her for praises.

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Categories
Miscellaneous

The Usage Of Weak Hadith

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

REFERENCE: https://haq2012.wordpress.com/2013/03/25/imam-ibn-taymiyyahs-stance-on-the-usage-of-weak-ahaadith/

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All praise for Allah, may peace and blessings be upon our noble master Mohammed sallalaho alayhi wasallam, upon his pure family his noble companions and all those who follow them until the day of judgement.

Respected readers, what I would like to discuss here inshallah is an issue which causes a lot of controversy, that is the issue of usage of weak ahaadith. We have some people who go the extreme of saying that weak ahaadith should be rejected entirely. I will state the obvious here, and mention that other that the sahihayn (Bukhari and Muslim) every other book of hadith, be it the sunan of Imam Tirmidhi, Imam Abu Dawud, Nasai, Ibn Majah, Bayhaqi, the mustadrak of Imam Haakim, musannaf of Imam ibn Abi shaybah and others all contain some weak as well as sahih ahaadith.

What we must understand is that there is a difference between a weak and a fabricated hadith but unfortunately and sadly we have certain ignorant people who don’t differentiate between the two. They treat a weak hadith like a fabricated hadith and totally disregard it. I am not saying for a second that fabricated ahaadith should be entertained, we all know the severity of attributing a lie to the messenger of Allah sallalaho alayhi wasallam who himself said ‘whoever attributes a lie to me has reserved his space in the fire of hell’ (Bukhari).

Some people who are even regarded as scholars have this attitude that weak ahaadith should not be used at all, and if this approach was adopted then the majority of the books of hadith would be rendered useless and only Bukhari and Muslim could be applied thus making life extremely difficult.

The majority view of the ulema is that a WEAK hadith is permissible for usage in non-fiqh issues. The following are some great scholars who hold this view : Imam Nawawi, Ibn Salah, Sufyan Thawri, Ahmed bin Hanbal, Ibn uyaynah, Ibn Mubarak, Ibn mahdi, ibn ma’een, khateeb Baghdadi, Bukhari, mullah Ali Qari, ibn Hajr al Asqalani, ibn Taymiyah, ibn Qayim, imam Sakhawi, abu Dawud.

Even Imam Bukhari RA himself has compiled weak narrations in his book ‘Al Adab Al Mufrad’ which shows that he accepted weak narrations in regards to virtues of good deeds, so we can see here that the majority of muhaditheen accepted the usage of weak ahaadith and did not have this attitude that the salafis of today have.

I will now present work from none other than imam Ibn Taymiyah RA from his famous book ‘al qaedah jaleelah fit tawassul wal waseelah.’ The reason I chose to use Ibn Taymiyah RA on this occasion is because those people today who like to reject weak ahaadith and condemn others for using them are those who use Ibn Taymiyah RA as a reference and would always accept any ruling of his without hesitation.

The imam states:

“But Ahmad ibn Hanbal and other scholars permitted the narration [of hadith] regarding the virtues of good what is not sure as long as it is not known that it is a lie.” [laakinna Ahmad ibn Hanbal wa ghayruh min al-‘ulama jawwazu an yurwa fee fada’il al-‘aamal maa lam yu’lam annahu thaabit idha lam yu’lam annahu kadhib.]

Ibn Taymiyya goes into a full chapter of discussion of this subject from here, Chapter 8 of “al-qaida al-jaleela fit-tawwasuli wal-waseela“, where he presents the views of the majority of the ‘ulama of Islam and he presents his own views of the subject. And here we will examine this in detail.

To continue, Ibn Taymiyyah RH says, in para 478:

“and that is the action which is known to be lawful with a shari’ah evidence, and there has been narrated in its virtue hadith that is not known to be a lie, it is possible that the reward will be true and none of the Imams have said that it is permissible to consider something required [waajib] or recommended [mustahabb] by way of a weak hadith, and whoever said so differed from the consensus [ijma’a].”

So here we see that Ibn Taymiyah RA is explaining that if there is a hadith, even though it has not been judged to be authentic, if it encourages what is known as a good deed in Islamic shari’ah, something of virtue, a praiseworthy action, or idea, then it is fully acceptable to refer to such a hadith as an encouragement for that deed.

And here also, Ibn Taymiyah RA refers to the ijma’a, the consensus, which is a clear reference to the concept of ijma’a of scholars of Islam as being a fully accepted concept and one which *he* accepts. And this is a clear proof that Ibn Taymiyah RA, though he considered himself a mujtahid mutlaq, capable of independent reasoning, nevertheless depended on the consensus [ijma’a] of scholars as a proof for the opinions he considered acceptable. And this is the position of Ahl as-Sunnah wal-Jama’at.

Then he continues in para 479:

“And just like it is not permissible to forbid something without a shari’ah evidence, [daleel shar’ee] but if it something is known to be forbidden and a hadith has been narrated in warning the one who commits such an action, and it is not known that it is a lie, it is permissible to narrate it. And it is permissible to narrate it in the manner of encouraging and discouraging [at-tarheeb wat-targheeb] what is not known that it is a lie. but in what is known that Allah has encouraged or discouraged with another evidence besides this [weak] hadith whose authenticity is unknown [majhoul haaluh].”

So from this we see that Ibn Taymiyah RA is using the weak hadith [ahadith da’eef], to discourage people from doing an evil deed, as long as this deed is known to be forbidden in the shari’ah. If the deed is forbidden in the shari’ah, it is acceptable to use a hadith whose authenticity is unknown, as long as the hadith is known not to have been an actual lie. This principle is acceptable, in anything that it is known that Allah expressed its forbiddance. Ibn Taymiyah RA continues to explain this concept in para 480:

“This is like the [situation] of the Isra’iliyyaat [stories related by the Jews]. It is permissible to be narrated as long as we know that it is not a lie, for encouraging or discouraging in what we know that Allah has ordered in our law [shar‘] or forbade in our law [shar‘].”

Here we see that Ibn Taymiyah RA is not only accepting that the weak are acceptable in the case of encouraging good deeds and discouraging evil ones, but he is showing clearly that he accepted the use of Isra’iliyyaat, stories related from the Jews, which many Salafis reject today as unacceptable. And this is verified in the hadith of the Prophet (saws), “narrate from the hadith of Bani Isra’il and there is no harm in doing it.”

So respected brothers and sisters, we see from the above evidences that Imam Ibn Taymiyah RA himself accepted the usage of weak ahaadith, I ask those salafi brothers who love to insult the likes of hazrat Moulana Zakariyyah RA because of his usage of weak ahaadith, will you now refute and condemn your own imam on the same grounds?

May Allah give us all the ability to understand the deen in its entirety, Ameen.

 

https://islamqa.org/hanafi/qibla-hanafi/35756

IMG_1355I have a question regarding the text Faza’il – e – A’maal by
Shaikhul Hadith Maulana Muhammad Zakariyya Kaandhlawi. From many I’ve heard that this text contains many weak hadiths and should not be read for the hadiths all are not saheeh. Is this correct? If so, please explain if this text would be appropriate to read and are the hadiths with strong chains?

Answer:
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most MercifulAssalamu alaykum

In the name of Allah most Gracious Most Merciful.

Along with many sahih hadiths, Fada’il A’mal is also known to contain a number of weak hadiths. In fact many of the great hadith collections contain weak hadiths. This is the case with Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Ibn Maja, al-Bayhaqi, al-Mustadrak of Imam Hakim, Mishkat al-Masabih, al-Tarqhib wa al-tarhib, etc. Besides these, popular works such as the Ihya ‘ulum al-din of Imam Ghazali is one in which Allama ‘Iraqi has judged many hadiths to be weak. However, these works have been overwhelmingly accepted by the majority of traditional scholars of Islam throughout the centuries. Furthermore, despite the rigorous authentication of the Sahih of Imam Bukhari, his other works such as al-Adab al-Mufrad and Juz’ al-qira’a khalf al-imam contains many weak narrations.

What we understand from this is that it is not a crime to relate weak hadiths, as some like to advocate. Individuals have risen in the last century who have attempted to “purify” the books of the pious predecessors by sifting the weak hadiths from the authentic (many a time with great injustice) and have published the classical collection under new titles such as Sahih Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Sahih Sunan Ibn Maja, etc.

The approach of the classical scholars was not such. It was accepted among them that works on the subject of virtues and fada’il did not have to meet the same levels of authenticity as was needed in discussions on the belief system of Islam or the laws and rulings of the lawful and unlawful.

Great hadith experts such as Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal, Ibn al-Mahdi, ‘Abdullah ibn al-Mubarak said, “When we narrate in regards to the lawful [halal] and unlawful [haram] we exercise extreme strictness and when we narrate in regards to virtuous and the like (stories and narratives) then we are more lenient.” (See Suyuti’s Tadrib al-rawi).

We learn from this statement that the scholars were more relaxed in the case of using weak hadith in virtues, but were very strict when it came to aspects of belief or fiqhi rulings. There were also other conditions for accepting weak hadith. For instance, the weakness should not be extreme that it is bordering on fabrication or the hadith should not be a spurious one. Likewise the weak hadith should not contradict an established principle of Shari’a or go against the spirit of the teachings of Islam (See Tadrib al-rawi).

If one takes the approach of shunning every book that contains weak hadiths would be left with very few books to benefit from. This would create great difficulty in regard to the din. Imam Tirmidhi has demonstrated in his Sunan as to how so many fiqhi rulings have been based on not-so-strong narrations.

The Fada’il A’mal is not a book of juristic laws. it is a book of virtues and as such there is no doubt that one can read it and practice on the virtues mentioned therein, even if they are from weak hadiths. Allah has granted this book such a widespread popularity that it is difficult in many countries to find a masjid without a copy. Many have benefited and softened their hearts for the remembrance of Allah and other such virtuous acts by reading it and the Fada’il Sadaqat by the same author.

The author Shaykh Zakariya Khandelwi taught the Sahih al-Bukhari for numerous years and spent his entire life in the service of the hadith of the Messenger (upon him be peace). His works include the editing of the Badhl al-Majhud (Arabic commentary of Sunan Abi Dawud), al-Hall al-Mufhim (Arabic commentary of Sahih Muslim), and al-La’ali al-Dirari (Arabic commentary of Sahih al-Bukhari); then the Awjaz al-Masalik is his Arabic commentary of the Muwatta of Imam Malik (Dar al-Fikr, Syria edition over twenty volumes), and the Khasa’il al-Nabawi, his Urdu commentary of the al-Shama’il al-Muhammadiya of Imam Tirmidhi. Besides these he has authored numerous other works in Urdu. He passed away in Madina Munawwara on Monday the 1st of Sha’ban 1402 corresponding to 24th May 1982.

Wassalam
(Mufti) AbdurRahman ibn Yusuf Mangera (hafidhahullah)

Categories
Spirituality

A STRANGE INCIDENT OF A WOMAN IN THE TIME OF SAYYIDAH ‘AISHAH (RADIYALLAHU’ANHA)

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بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

http://hadithanswers.com/a-strange-incident-of-a-woman-in-the-time-of-sayyidah-aishah-radiyallahuanha/

 

A woman whose hand was paralysed entered upon ‘Aa’ishah (radiyallahu ‘anha). She said, “O Mother of the Believers, I went to sleep yesterday and my hand was healthy and I woke up and it was paralysed.

‘Aa’ishah said, “How is that?”

She replied, “I had wealthy parents and my father used to pay zakah, host guests and give to beggars and he did not see any good except that he would do it.

As for my mother, she was stingy and did nothing good with my father’s wealth. Then my father died and my mother died only two months after him.

So I saw my father in a dream last night and he was wearing two yellow garments and in front of him was a flowing river.

I said, “Father, what is this?’

He said, “Whoever does good in this life will see it, this is what Allah has given me.”

I asked him, “What has happened to my mother?” He asked, “ Your Mother died?”

I said, “Yes”

He said, “She has been turned away from me, so look for her on your left”

So I turned to my left and I saw my mother standing naked, covering her lower half with a rag and in her hand was a piece of fat.

She was calling out, “My sadness, my thirst.’

When she became tired she would rub the fat with her hand and then lick it, while in front of her was a flowing river.

I said, ‘O mother, why are you crying out of thirst and there is a flowing river in front of you?’

She said, ‘I am not allowed to drink from it.’

I said, ‘Can I give u some of the water?’

She said, ‘I wish u would do that.’ So I filled my hand with water and let her drink and when she swallowed it I heard a voice on my right, ‘Whoever has given this woman water, may his hand be paralysed and they repeated it twice.

Then I awoke and my hand was paralysed and I am not able to do anything with it.

‘Aa’ishah (radiyallahu ‘anha) asked: ‘Did you recognise the rag she was wearing?’

I said, ‘Yes, O Mother of the Believers, it was exactly the same one I saw her wearing, for I had never seen my mother give anything as charity, except that one day my Father slaughtered a bull. So a beggar came to ask for some, so my mother gave him a bone that had some fat on it. And I saw one day that a beggar asked her for charity, so she gave him that exact rag.’

‘Aa’ishah (radiyallahu ‘anha) said, ‘Allah is the Most Great! Allah has told the truth and the Messenger (sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam) has delivered the message.

فَمَن يَعْمَلْ مِثْقَالَ ذَرَّةٍ خَيْرًا يَرَهُ
وَمَن يَعْمَلْ مِثْقَالَ ذَرَّةٍ شَرًّا يَرَهُ

“So whoever does an atom’s weight of good will see it,
And whoever does an atom’s weight of evil will see it”
(Surah Zilzal, verses 7-8)

Hafiz Ibn Rajab Al-Hambaly (rahimahullah) references it to Kitabut Targhib wat Tarhib of Imam Abu Musa Al-Madini (rahimahullah) with a sound (hasan) chain.

(Al-Kalamu ‘alal Hadith: yatba’ul mayyita thalath; see Majmu’ Rasail Ibn Rajab, vol.2 pg.430)

Imam Abu Bakr ibn Abid Dunya (rahimahullah) has also recorded a variant of this incident with two weak chains, that support each other adequately.

(Kitabu Mujabid Da’wah, number: 71 & 72)

This incident may be quoted.

Categories
Shaykh Saleem Dhorat

Quenching the Thirst of Others

By Shaykh-ul-Hadīth, Hadrat Mawlānā Muhammad Saleem Dhorat hafizahullāh

Imām Al-Bukhārī rahimahullāh has narrated a hadīth on the authority of Sayyidunā Abū Hurayrah radhiyallāhu ‘anhu that Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam said, “A person, whilst on a journey, experienced extreme thirst. [Along the way, he came across a well so] he climbed down this well and drank from it. He then climbed out of the well and saw a dog panting and licking the moist soil due to [extreme] thirst. This person said [to himself], ‘Indeed this dog has faced the same dilemma [of thirst] that I faced.’ [So he climbed down the well again and] filled his leather sock with water. He then climbed out whilst holding his sock with his teeth and quenched the thirst of the dog. Allāh ta‘ālā appreciated his deed and forgave his sins. The Sahābah radhiyallāhu ‘anhum asked, ‘Is there reward for us in [being kind to] animals?’ Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam replied, ‘There is reward in [being kind to] every living creature’.”

Many lessons can be derived from this hadīth, but I wish to draw your attention to a specific lesson, that of providing water for the creation of Allāh ta‘ālā. It is evident that the deed that attracted the Mercy of Allāh ta‘ālā was quenching the thirst of a dog.

Water – A Gift from Allāh

Water is an essential need of a human; a person can survive weeks without food, but only days without water. The body’s function is dependent on water and all its essential organs need a constant supply. As the body cannot make its own water, a person needs to supply the body with water. This important need of humans is provided by Allāh ta‘ālā himself in the form of rain, streams, rivers, lakes, seas and oceans. Allāh ta‘ālā states:

…and We have sent down pure water from the sky. (25:48)

And We caused the earth to burst with springs… (54:12)

Water – A Medium to Gain Great Reward

Due to its importance and necessity, Allāh ta‘ālā has also promised great reward for those who provide water to the creation of Allāh ta‘ālā. In the above ḥadīth, we already learnt that it attracts the forgiveness of Allāh ta‘ālā. Many other ahādīth also mention further benefits:

• Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam has stated, “There is no sadaqah more rewarding than [providing] water.” (Al-Bayhaqī)

• Upon being asked regarding the most virtuous form of sadaqah, Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam replied, “[Providing] water.” (Abū Dāwūd)

• Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam stated, “Whichever Muslim quenches the thirst of another Muslim, Allāh will grant him drink from Ar-Rahīq Al-Makhtūm.” (Abū Dāwūd)

Ar-Rahīq Al-Makhtūm is a special wine of Jannah which has been promised for the special servants – the Abrār (the righteous). Allāh ta‘ālā says,

Verily the Abrār will be in bounties, upon couches looking on. You will recognise the radiance of bounties in their faces. They will be given pure sealed wine to drink, the seal of which is musk. It is for this that the competitors should compete. (83:22-26)

Water – A Means of Continuous Reward

Sadaqah is of two types:

1. Sadaqah: where the reward is confined to the action and the reward is a single entry. For example, when someone feeds another person, a one-off reward is written for him; and

2. As-Sadaqah Al-Jāriyah: when the reward is continuous. In fact, it also continues after one’s demise. For example, authoring a book from which people benefit; for as long as people benefit from this knowledge, the author will continue to reap its reward.

After one’s demise, the avenues to gain further reward by any action inevitably cease. A person finding himself in a bad state in the afterlife cannot carry out any deed to change his situation. Similarly, if he finds himself in a good state and he wishes to enhance his condition further, he is unable to carry out any deed to achieve this. At this juncture, a deceased person has two possibilities of earning reward:

1. Īsāl-uth-Thawāb: someone performing a good deed and sending him its reward; and

2. As-Sadaqah Al-Jāriyah: as explained above, a deed he carried out during his lifetime which is still generating reward for him.

Nabī sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam said,

When a person dies, [reward for] his deeds are cut off from him except three [types]: [reward for] As-Sadaqah Al-Jāriyah, knowledge from which benefit is derived [by others]; and righteous children who pray for him. (Muslim) 

There are many forms of As-Sadaqah Al-Jāriyah a person can carry out. In one narration Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam listed seven and from amongst them he mentioned, “.…a stream which he causes to flow….” (Ibn Mājah)

In another narration we find that Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam also advised providing water as a form of Īsāl-uth-Thawāb. After the demise of his mother, Sayyidunā Sa‘d Ibn ‘Ubādah radhiyallāhu ‘anhu asked Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam which sadaqah would be most meritorious and rewarding. Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam replied, “Providing water.” Sayyidunā Sa‘d radhiyallāhu ‘anhu then got a well dug and dedicated its reward for his mother. (Abū Dāwūd)

‘Allāmah Al-‘Aynī rahimahullāh has mentioned a hadīth wherein Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam visited a person who was in his last moments. Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam asked him what he was observing [of the next world]. He explained, “I see two angels distancing themselves from me and two snakes coming closer; and I see evil increasing and goodness weakening.” The person sought help from Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam by requesting him to make du‘ā. Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam supplicated, “O Allāh! Accept little [he has done] and forgive the large quantity [of evil deeds he has committed].” Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam then asked him what he was seeing now. He replied, “The two angels are coming closer and the two snakes are going away; and I see goodness increasing and evil weakening.” Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam asked him which of his actions he found most rewarding. He said, “Providing water.” (‘Umdah-al-Qārī)

Sayyidunā Anas radhiyallāhu ‘anhu narrates that Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam said, “On the Day of Judgement, the people going to Jannah will be lined up in rows. A person destined for Jahannam [whilst passing by these rows] will come across a person [to whom he had provided water in this worldly life]. He will say to him, ‘Do you remember that day when you asked for water and I gave you water to drink.’ The person will [remember this favour and] intercede for him.” (Ibn Mājah)

Warning on Not Sharing Water

It is the sheer Grace of Allāh ta‘ālā that he has provided this necessity for survival in much abundance and in principle, it is for all people. Therefore, it would be extremely inhuman to deprive someone of water at the time of his need, especially when one has the means to provide it. Consequently, a grave warning has been cited for such wretched people whose hearts do not soften upon seeing others suffering thirst. Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam has stated:

There are three types of people; Allāh will neither talk to them, nor look towards them, nor purify them, and for them will be a painful punishment: One who has excess water in the path [along a route] and he prevents a traveller [passing by] from [using] it…. (Al-Bukhārī)

Benefit in this World

Providing water not only benefits a person in the hereafter, but it also has worldly benefits. A person once came to ‘Abdullāh ibn Al-Mubārak rahimahullāh complaining about a wound in a knee which was not healing for the past seven years, despite referring to doctors and treating it with various methods of treatment. ‘Abdullāh ibn Al-Mubārak rahimahullāh advised him to find a place where people are in need of water and provide water by digging a well. The person located a place and dug a well and Allāh ta‘ālā cured him. (Al-Bayhaqī)

Imām Al-Bayhaqī rahimahullāh narrates that my teacher Imām Al-Hākim had a wound on his face. Despite many types of treatment, it could not be cured for a period of one year. He requested Abū ‘Uthmān Sābūnī rahimahullāh to make du‘ā for him in his weekly majlis on Friday. Abū ‘Uthmān rahimahullāh made du‘ā for him. The people who attended earnestly beseeched Allāh ta‘ālā saying āmīn to the du‘ā of the shaykh.

The following Friday, a woman who had attended the previous week, sent a note to Imām Abū ‘Uthmān rahimahullāh. In the note she narrated that, after the previous majlis, she went home and earnestly prayed for Imām Al-Hākim rahimahullāh that night. She mentioned that she saw Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam in her dream as if he was advising her to tell Imām Al-Hākim rahimahullāh that he should provide water for the Muslims in abundance. When this note reached Imām Al-Hākim rahimahullāh, he ordered a siqāyah [a place where water is provided] to be constructed outside his home. When the construction was completed, it was filled with sweet water. Ice was also placed in it and people began drinking. Not even a week passed and he was cured and his face turned beautiful again. (Al-Bayhaqī)

Providing Water to Others

It is a great Mercy of Allāh ta‘ālā that we in England do not experience a shortage of water. Clean and abundant water is available at all times. We should be thankful to Allāh ta‘ālā for this great gift. There are so many people throughout the world who have to travel far distances to bring clean water for their homes. The short supply obliges them to get every family member to walk the long distance in order to obtain as much water as possible, including young children.

Those of us who are fortunate to have water in abundance and sufficient wealth, should resolve to provide water to the less fortunate ones according to our means. This could be through:

• arranging for wells to be dug;

• providing water pumps;

• providing water coolers; and

• setting up drinking fountains.

In whatever way possible, we should seek to quench the thirst of people and animals. Providing water to the general public on a hot summer day in this country or elsewhere, will also be a deed that will be greatly recompensed by Allāh ta‘ālā. Along with that, the wider community will be able to appreciate the beautiful teachings of the saviour of humanity, our beloved Nabī sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam, who was sent as mercy for the world.

May Allāh ta‘ālā grant us the ability to engage in this meritorious act as much as possible, in order to secure His Mercy in this life and in the hereafter. Āmīn. 

© Riyādul Jannah (Vol. 26 No. 3, March 2017)

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Categories
Du'aas

~ It was just a few words!

wordsPonder over the following examples where very few words unlocked the greatness of three great people.
= The first:
Imam Ishaq Ibn Rahawayh RH once said during a study circle of Hadith,
“من ينشط منكم لجمع الصحيح؟”
“Whom here is willing to take it upon himself to compile for us the authentic Hadith?”
Imam Al-Bukhari RH was present and said, “His words fell onto my heart”
Imagine that! It was just those words which sparked off the most beneficial Hadith project in History!
= The second:
Imam Ash-Shafi’i RH was most interested in poetry in the earlier parts of his life. One scholar heard him speak poetry and so he asked him, “أين أنت من الفِقه؟”
“Why don’t you focus on the study of Fiqh (jurisprudence) instead?”
This had a profound effect on Imam Ash-Shafi’i RH and because of these words, he completely changed the course of his study and turned to the study of Hadith and Fiqh till he became an Imam. All of this was because of one simple encounter with a wise well-wisher.
= The third:
Have you heard of Imam Adh-Dhahabi RH? His handwriting was once spotted by Imam Al-Barzali RH so he said to Adh-Dhahabi RH, “إنَّ خطك هذا يشبه خط المُحدِّثين”
“Your handwriting resembles the handwriting of the scholars of Hadith”
Imam Adh-Dhahabi RH said,
فحبَّب الله لي علم الحديث
“After hearing that, Allah placed the love of Hadith in my heart!”
You have no idea of the potential influence which your words may have on your children, students, family members or friends, even if your words are few!
 Coupled with your sincerity and wisely tailored words of encouragement, plant the seed of inspiration within their hearts and leave it to grow. This person may develop to become the next scholar, a ground-breaking caller to Islam, the mother of the next revivalist or the founder of a revolutionary project for the Ummah.
You may end up forgetting all about this seed.wrds
But this reformed individual will never forget. More importantly, Allah will never forget.
Anonymous
1st Dhul Hijah 1438power in words.jpg
Categories
Personalities

Muhaddith, Mu’allim, Murabbi – Shaykhul Hadith Hadhrat Mawlana Muhammad Yunus Saheb Jaunpuri RH

“Be fearful of a day when you shall be returned to Allah, then every person shall be paid in full what he has earned, and they shall not be wronged.” Surah Baqarah

(This is the last verse to be revealed in the Qur’an)

The passing away of our most beloved and honourable Shaykh and Ustadh, the Ameer, the Master, the embodiment of Hadith, Shaykhul Hadith Hadhrat Mawlana Muhammad Yunus Saheb Jawnpuri (Allah sanctify his secret), was most definitely news that shook our hearts, rather shook mountains. Initially, I did not think it was befitting for me to write anything on Shaykh Saheb (Allah sanctify his secret), as many of my senior teachers and Ulama had already done so. But after reading them, a few anecdotes and memories came to mind so I decided to share them based on the Hadith:

Ibn Umar (Allah be pleased with him narrated that: The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “Mention good things about your dead, and refrain from (mentioning) their evil.”  (Tirmidhi)

Alhumdu Lillah, in 2007 my late father sent me to Mazahirul Uloom, Sahanrapur in the khidmah of Shaykh Saheb (Allah sanctify his secret), as he felt it was good for an Alim to be in the company of a Shaykh after graduation for Islah and Tarbiyyah purposes. I had met Shaykh Saheb when he would come to Jamiatul Ilm Walhuda, Blackburn, for the Bukhari Jalsa and had heard many stories of his status and nature from my Ustadhs – many of which had studied under Shaykh Saheb’s tutelage.

When I first arrived, I introduced myself and passed on some money and gifts I had from our principal and ustadh Mufti AbdusSamad Saheb and Mufti Shabbir Saheb, as well as some of Shaykh Saheb’s previous students. I told him my father had sent me for his Khidmah and I was studying Ifta alongside this. I remember he asked me, if I was his guest (mehman) or a guest of the Darul Uloom. I said, “I am currently staying in the Mehman Khana until my room is arranged, so I shall eat from the Madrasah.” He said, “Very well! Otherwise I would arrange food for you.” To which I was quite overwhelmed and humbled, at Shaykh Saheb’s worry and concern.

In my first few days I imagined there would be dozens of people at his service and I would barely get a chance. As this was the case when he came to the UK, scores of Ulama from up and down the country would be following him “throughout” his stay in the UK. Things were quite different in India. Generally, it was some of the Bukhari/Ifta students that would do his Khidmah, but a very small amount. As they were in fear of being rebuked and told off. There were many days Shaykh Saheb (Allah sanctify his secret) would be alone or just one Khadim with him. I remember telling some of my Ifta colleagues, actually forcing them to come with me and sit with Shaykh Saheb (Allah sanctify his secret) for a while. They were very apprehensive. But I realised the cause behind this, it was what they were fed about Shaykh Saheb’s (Allah sanctify his secret) nature. Without doubt Shaykh Saheb (Allah sanctify his secret) was a person whose nature left you full of awe, he was “Jalali.” So generally, students were afraid of being told off and criticised. Shaykh Saheb would rebuke us. But he would always say, “I only discipline those with whom I have a connection, the person is fortunate who builds humility after I have disciplined him.”

I would like to mention a point here for ulama, we should never think of ourselves too high that we cannot be criticised. Fudhayl ibn Iyadh (Allah have mercy upon him) once said, “Accept the truth, even if it is from a child.”

I remember Shaykh Saheb (Allah sanctify his secret) would start the day off with Surah Yaseen and also read Qur’an after Dhuhr Salah. He would say, “I like to start the day off with Qur’an.” There was a particular Durood he would read after recitation of the Qur’an, I tried to pick up the words as Shaykh Saheb would whisper it quite loud. I only ever heard, “Allahumma Salle Alaa Muhammad bi Addadi Kulli Harf…” (O Allah! Send salutations upon Muhammad equal to every letter I have read from the Quran). If anyone knows the full Durood, I would be grateful if they could share it In Sha Allah.

I was once told to fetch some water by Shaykh Saheb (Allah sanctify his secret), I knew in India they did not drink from the tap like we do in UK. But as it was my first few weeks, I was unaware where Shaykh Saheb (Allah sanctify his secret) drank from. Usually, people stored their water in a clay pot (matka) or something similar. So, I was running around in the kitchen and in the bedroom looking for his water storage. I ended up downstairs and I saw a student pumping water out from the Madrasah pump and I told him, Shaykh Saheb has asked for water. He said, Shaykh Saheb doesn’t drink this water and he only drinks Zam Zam. Subhan Allah! He rushed me back to the room and under the bed were drums of Zam Zam. I was grateful to him for sharing this with me as I didn’t want to feed Shaykh Saheb with normal water, when he only drank Zam Zam.

Shaykh Saheb (Allah sanctify his secret) did not like pretence and deception. Once a few students were sat and one of the students had a white scarf/shaal, like the ones we see in Saudi Arabia worn by their Imams. This student was sat in front of Shaykh Saheb (Allah sanctify his secret) whilst Shaykh Saheb was doing Dhikr. All of a sudden, Shaykh Saheb (Allah sanctify his secret) got really angry and said, “Oh! It’s only you… I thought you were a big Alim, the way you are dressed.” He ordered him to remove it and told us always to dress humbly.

Shaykh Saheb (Allah sanctify his secret) would cry at times, when putting on Itr before his dars. He would say, “These bottles are worth thousands of Rupees each. But when I was young I didn’t have enough money for food. Dear children, I went through a lot of poverty.” Tears would roll from his eyes, rahimahullah.

Further he would say many times, his father was a teacher and as a boy Shaykh Saheb was quite weak mentally and physically. He would always remain ill. A man suggested to his father, “Get him on the (cycle) rickshaws, as he will be of no use to you when he grows up. At least this way he will bring money in!” “Alhumdu Lillah! When I sit on the (cycle) rickshaws, the thought crosses my mind. It could have been the other way round!” Shaykh Saheb would say very emotionally.

“That is Allah’s grace which He bestows on whom He wills, He is the Owner of Mighty Grace.” (62:4)

NB: In Saharanpur there was little use of the motor rickshaws, a man would sit at the front and peddle. Passengers would sit at the back in a carriage. I don’t know if things have advanced.

Here I would like to clarify something which I heard from many students and teachers at my time in Saharanpur, that Shaykh Saheb was diagnosed with Tuberculosis at a young age. And TB was such in those days, if you caught it, chances were that you would die imminently. As a result of this Shaykh Saheb (Allah sanctify his secret) did not marry, due to fear of death occurring at any time. But time went by, he graduated as an Alim and even started teaching. He was always on edge, that he could go any minute. Like this he passed his whole youth, but one night he saw the number 5 in a dream (whether it was the figure 5 or a hand indicating 5 I cannot remember). This really confused Shaykh Saheb (Allah sanctify his secret). He thought, “Maybe it means 5 days or 5 months, I have left to live!” Later, when Shaykh Saheb (Allah sanctify his secret) started teaching and came across the ‘maghaib khamsah’, the knowledge of five things which only Allah SWT knows. He understood the interpretation of the dream, which meant stop worrying about your death, only He SWT knows when you will die. The five things being, “Qiyamah, rainfall, what is in the womb – male/female, what a person earns – rizq, when a person will die.” (Surah Luqman)

This does not defy the fact that Shaykh Saheb (Allah sanctify his secret) had immense love for knowledge and his books, it would even be correct to say he was married to his books.

A similar incident is related regarding Imam Malik (Allah have mercy upon him) and the dream of the number 5.

Shaykh Saheb (Allah sanctify his secret) was connected to Ulama all over the UK and all over the world, he would often get calls of halaat/circumstances in certain countries. Especially, internal conflicts. As he knew I was from UK he once said, “When you return to the UK never get involved with Ikhtilaf/politics, as this is increasing in England.”

Shaykh Saheb (Allah sanctify his secret) was very wary when he was eating, with regards to evil eye (nazar). More often than not, he would prefer to eat alone and not in the sight of students or even guests from outside.

I remember asking Shaykh Saheb (Allah sanctify his secret) a few questions that had always been on my mind. The first was the Sunnah method of clipping the nails, as many books show a method which they refer to as Sunnah. He replied, “This is not in Hadith, but rather we begin from the right hand as this is preferable in all matters. Secondly, we begin from the Shahadah finger (index) as it is good to start with this finger.” I also asked about walking forty steps after food, He said, “This is only recommended by Hakims, it is not Sunnah.”

Approximately, half a million people attended Shaykh Saheb’s Janazah Salah:

Aishah (Allah be pleased with her) said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, ‘If a Muslim dies and his funeral prayer is attended by a group of a hundred Muslims, and they all sincerely pray for his forgiveness, he is forgiven’”. (Ahmad, Muslim, and Tirmidhi)

Lastly, when Shaykh Saheb (Allah sanctify his secret) came to Jamiatul Ilm Walhuda in May 2017 for the Bukhari ceremony, towards the end I remember him saying, “O children! It is possible that I do not return next year.” And such was Allah’s wish…

“The Eyes Tear,

The Heart is in Pain,

But (with my tongue) I will only say that which is pleasing to Allah,

And we are indeed sad at your departure. ”

(Bukhari)

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) on the death of his son Ibraheem (Allah be pleased with him)

May Allah SWT elevate the status of Shaykh Saheb and Allah reward him on behalf of the whole Ummah and may his legacy remain in this world until the day of Qiyamah and Allah SWT grant us all the tawfeeq to follow in the footsteps of all the pious personalities and He resurrects us amongst them on the day of Qiyamah and He grant us a place in Jannah with such luminaries and pious Mashayikh… Ameen!

One request, please make Esaal-e-Thawab for Hadhrat of whatever you are able to and as much as you can; Qur’an, Dua, or Sadaqah. (I am hoping to build a Masjid in Shaykh’s name – please see link below and kindly donate).

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/ismail-satia1

Ismail ibn Nazir Satia (One who is in dire need of Allah’s forgiveness, mercy and pleasure).

26th Dhul Qa’dah 1438

saharan

Categories
Miscellaneous

10 Things You Need To Know About Qurbani/Udhiyyah

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

  1. Whoever possesses the Nisab (612 grams of silver) on the days of Qurbani, (10th/11th/12th Dhul Hijjah) Qurbani is wajib upon them. This wealth will exclude his daily necessities such as, house, car, clothes, furniture etc. Each adult member of the household on whom Sadaqat-ul-Fitr is Wajib (meaning the person who has wealth equal to the Nisaab of Zakah) would have to make his/her separate Qurbani. You don’t have to make Qurbani for your small children who are not baligh (the age of maturity). (Fatawa Hindiyyah 292/5)
  2. A person must be sane, mature and resident. Qurbani is not Wajib on a traveller (Shar’ee Musafir). (Shami 312/6)
  3. If a person has a debt, he will minus the payments of only 1 year till the day of Qurbani next year, not the whole amount and lump sum (interest repayable will not be included in debts). If this remaining amount is equal to Nisab, even though he has not had for 1 year, Qurbani will be Wajib because he has this amount in the days of Qurbani. (Mahmoodul Fatawa 689/4)
  4. You can buy a large animal (cow/camel) and have different intentions such as Wajib Qurbani, Nafl Qurbani and Aqeeqah. But everyone must have intention for reward. If one share is not for thawab then the whole Qurbani is not accepted. (Mahmoodul Fatawa 691/4)
  5. If you have missed Qurbani in the previous years and it was Wajib upon you, one must give the price of a sheep at the time you are making up for it E.g. September 2017 a sheep is £50 you must give £50, even it was cheaper in previous years. (Kifayatul Mufti 231/8 & Fatawa Mahmoodiyah 343/14)
  6. If a father is giving on behalf of his mature children he must ask them first, same for the wife.(Fatawa Alamghiri 393/5)
  7. In the first 10 days of Dhul Hijjah, not to trim your moustache, cut your hair, or clip your nails is Mustahab. If you act upon this, you must not cut them until your Qurbani is done i.e you cannot cut them before Eid Salah. The purpose for this is not to resemble the Hajis in Hajj, contrary to popular belief. The wisdom behind this is, the animal we are sacrificing, we are giving every part, every limb of that animal in place of our own body. When the mercy/rahmah of Qurbani is descending a single part of our body (hairs or nails) should not be deprived of the mercy of Qurbani. (Fatawa Rahimiyah 31/10)
  8. You can give a separate Qurbani for Esale Thawab on behalf of a deceased or the whole Ummah. (Raddul Mukhtar 472/9)
  9. The actual method of Qurbani and the best way to perform Qurbani is one buys an animal himself, he then looks after this animal as this animal is a great reward for him. He should become attached and close to this animal, (sacrificing this animal is like giving his own children away, story of Ibrahim AS). It is Mustahab to slaughter the animal yourself. If you are unable to slaughter the animal, be present at the time of slaughter, (bearing in mind the law of the land). (Fatawa Rahimiyah 28/10)

The Prophet Sallallaho Alayhi Wasallam told his daughter, “O Fatima! Be present at the time of slaughtering, for every drop (of blood) your sins are forgiven.” She replied, “O Messenger of Allah! Is this hospitality of Allah only for us (Ahle Bayt), or for everyone?” He Sallallaho Alayhi Wasallam answered, “Rather, it is for us and every Muslim.” (Tabarani)

  1. It is Mustahab to eat from the meat of your animal if possible, on the day of Eid. Also, feed your neighbours, relatives and friends. If there are any poor Muslims in the area feed them too. (Fatawa Rahimiyah 29/10) A warning for those who do not offer Qurbani: The Prophet Sallallaho Alayhi Wasallam said, “Whoever possesses wealth and does not perform Qurbani let him not come close to our place of worship (on Eid).”  (Ibn Majah)

NB: For those who offer Qurbani in the UK, a point to bear in mind as we do not receive the skin of the animals, we should give Sadaqah around £5 approximately.

Approved by Mufti Muhammad Farooq Saheb – Ustadh of Hadith/Ifta Jamiatul Ilm Walhuda, Blackburn

25th Dhul Qa’dah 1438