Tag: anger

Categories
Marriage

Anger with Spouse

img_20170704_002003https://inheritorsofquran.files.wordpress.com/2015/01/10_58.png?w=510&h=85

Amazing Dua of Rasulullah Sallallahu  alayhi wasallam for love and unity:
A senior Alim from the UK relates:
On a recent trip to Saharanpur, we were fortunate to meet Hadhrat Mawlana Aaqil Sahib (Damat Barakatuhum), a great Muhaddith of India, and the son in law of Sheikhul Hadeeth, Hadhrat Mawlana Muhammad Zakariyya Kandhalvi (RA).
Whilst sitting with him, he taught us this beautiful dua and mentioned to us that Allah Ta’ala has put a great effect on it.
People who are not getting along very well with friends and relatives, couples who are fighting and arguing regularly should read this dua in abundance.
He mentioned that one particular Alim had fallen into some family feuds and a result was suffering much worry and grief. After reciting this dua several times, he was relieved of this grief.
Hadhrat Mawlana also mentioned that once he was in Madinah Munawwarah and a woman met his family in the Haram Shareef at the time of Maghrib. She complained about her relationship with her husband saying that he had become very cold towards her on this journey and was not speaking to her at all. Hadhrat Mawlana’s respected family taught her this dua and encouraged her to recite it regularly.
The next morning at the time of Fajr when she met her again, this woman could not stop thanking her for saying that her husband’s entire mood has changed and he has become much warmer towards her!
By reciting this dua abundantly, In sha Allah the hearts will be united:
اَللّٰهُمَّ اَلِّفْ بَيْنَ قُلُوْبِنَا، وَأَصْلِحْ ذَاتَ بَيْنِنا، وَاهْدِنَا سُبُلَ السَّلاَمِ، وَنَجِّنَا مِنَ الظُّلُمَاتِ إِلَى النُّوْر
وَجَنِّبْنَا الْفَوَاحِشَ مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا وَمَا بَطَنَ
وَبَارِكْ لَنَا فِىْ أَسْمَاعِنَا، وَأَبْصَارِنَا وَقُلُوْبِنَا،وَأَزْوَاجِنَا،وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا
وَتُبْ عَلَيْنَآ اِنَّكَ أَنْتَ التَّوَّابُ الرَّحِيْم
O Allah! Put affection amongst our hearts,
Set right our matters between ourselves,
Guide us to the ways of peace,
Take us away from darkness towards Noor (light),
Save us from all kinds of indecency, the apparent as well as the hidden,
and Bless our hearing,
our seeing,
our hearts,
our spouses and
our children,
and Turn in Mercy upon us.
Indeed You are The One who greatly Accepts repentance,
One Who is repeatedly Merciful.
(Al-Hakim)

 

Categories
Muslim men

Why We Don’t Pray When We’re On Our Period – A Reflection on Allah’s Attributes As The Merciful and The Creator

https://myrihla.com/2017/08/17/why-we-dont-pray-when-were-on-our-period-a-reflection-on-allahs-attributes-as-the-merciful-and-the-creator/img_20170905_121646

I came across the post below on Buruj Lan-dan’s page on why we as Muslim women don’t pray when we’re on our monthly periods, and it’s a topic that’s been on my mind for a while so I wanted to share it with you adding my own reflections at the end.

Why don’t we pray when we are on our monthly cycles?

A dear friend of mine explained it to me and it blew me away. May Allah protect her always.

There is not a deed as great as the prayer. And no one is excused from it under any circumstances. Even men in battles are commanded to pray in whatever way they can.

But the only time a servant of Allah is entirely excused from praying and from even making up the missed prayers is when as a woman you suffer from all the difficulties that come with menstruation.

I love how my friend worded the wisdom behind it.

“Allah has mercy on you because He knows no one around you will”

Your boss doesn’t care if you come late to work because you were suffering from cramps in the morning. Your children don’t demand any less on those days of weakness and tiredness. Your husband doesn’t have any more patience with your mood swings when sadness or anger overwhelms you for no reason. When you step out, nobody knows how much your body either aches or how much your mind is distracted by incessant thoughts. You are on your own.

So, Allah the Most Merciful, Ar-Raheem, Ar Rahman, removes His obligation on you because no one else will.

We could’ve been commanded to make them up – if the reason was purely Taharah (purity) but we weren’t. He gives us a break when no one will.

The other time a woman is excused is when she has given birth. Her body, her mind labours to bring another life into the world and becomes occupied with taking care of it – and again Allah excuses her.

This is what makes me fall in love with Allah and Islam even more. For only Allah could know the intricate details of our struggle and give us what we need the most – mercy. – From Buruj Lan-Dan’s Facebook Page

My Reflection

It’s common for us to jokingly refer to our periods as holidays because we’re absolved from the responsibility of praying. After a few days however the effect quickly wanes and we find ourselves craving the doses of serenity that we get through prayer. One of the focal benefits of Salah is that it forces us to remember Allah SWT hence being away from it can sometimes make us feel like we’re no longer in that state.

Whenever I’m on my period, I’m reminded of the ayah below:

“We will show them Our Signs in the universe, and in their own selves until it becomes manifest to them that this (the Quran) is the truth” [Fussilat 41:53]

On the earth are Signs for those of assured Faith; as also in your own selves: will yet not then see?” [Al-Dhariyat 51:20 – 21]

In fact, my periods are a time when I am heavily conscious of Allah. Marvelling at the creation of my body and how perfectly it functions. Especially on months when I go through heavy periods, and I’m continually amazed at the way my body self-regulates. (No kidding, some days I feel like I’m gonna bleed out!) There are different ways in our lives that Allah reminds us that is Al-Khaliq, The Creator, and for me, my menstrual cycles are a special reminder of the one who has created me and created me in the best of forms.

I mean think about it, having regular menstrual cycles is a sign that the body is functioning normally, so remember to thank Allah for your health and the numerous blessings that he has given you through your body.

Categories
Marriage

10 Ways to be the Ideal Muslim Husband

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

images (3)Zainab bint Younus, Canada

MARITAL ADVICE LISTS are common to find in Muslim literature and lectures, yet the information is almost always targeted towards women. However, we all know that it takes two to tango – and so here is a list aimed at Muslim husbands in the hopes that they, too, will benefit and be able to improve their relationships.

1. Have taqwa and iḥsân

Know that you are responsible for your end of the marriage, regardless of how the other party treats you. Fulfill your wife’s rights without demanding yours first, and know that you seek Allah’s Pleasure over anyone else’s. Do your job with excellence, and don’t make it conditional. Iḥsân is not merely to worship in the ritual sense, but to conduct oneself in general with an awareness that Allah is Al-Raqîb (the Ever-Watchful), and to fulfill one’s duties in the best of manners.

Then he (Jibrîl) said, “Inform me about iḥsân.” He (the Messenger of Allah) answered, “It is that you should serve Allah as though you could see Him, for though you cannot see Him yet (know that) He sees you.” (Muslim)

2. Respect her

Remember that Allah describes marriage as a bond of love and mercy – love ebbs and flows, but mercy and respect must always be there, even – especially – in times of conflict. Unfortunately, we tend to present respect as a quality that men need (“men need respect, women need affection”). The truth is, however, that one can love someone without respecting them… and this is very, very dangerous. To have mercy and respect one’s wife is to never assume that she exists merely as an extension of you or to serve your needs. To respect her is to honor her, to defend her from harm and others’ accusations, and to have husn al-ẓann of her.

In cases of disagreement, this respect translates as not forcing your own opinion upon her when there is Islamically acceptable room for differences of opinion.

It should go without saying, but unfortunately it bears repeating nonetheless – respecting your wife means never, ever, abusing her, physically or otherwise.

“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.”  [Sûrat Al-Rûm, 30:21]

Even in times of conflict, Allah tells us to behave in the most respectful and gracious of manners:

And do not forget graciousness between you.  [Sûrat Al-Baqarah, 2:237]

Abû Mûsa Al-Ashʿari (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:

I asked the Messenger of Allah: “Who is the most excellent among the Muslims?” He said, “One from whose tongue and hands the other Muslims are secure.”  [1]

3.  Be emotionally intelligent

Empathy, being attuned to the other person’s preferences, learning to understand their personality and responding appropriately without expecting to change them into something they’re not… supporting and respecting each other as both individuals and as a team. The Prophet ﷺ was an emotionally intelligent husband, who knew the differences in his wives’ personalities and interacted with them in a manner best suited to each woman. He comforted Ṣufiyyah when she wept; he had spirited discussions with ʿÂishah (May Allah be pleased with her) and he encouraged Ḥafṣah’s (May Allah be pleased with her) for knowledge.

In a famous narration known as the Hadith of Abu Zarʿ(May Allah be pleased with him) [2]  ʿAishah told the Prophet ﷺ the story of eleven women who sat together and described their husbands’ qualities and behaviours. The eleventh woman, Umm Zarʿ, described Abû Zarʿas a man who was extremely generous to his wife, showering her with gifts; who went out of his way to please her; who never rebuked her or verbally abused her; who made sure that she was comfortable and satisfied. To Umm Zarʿ, there was no greater husband than Abû Zarʿ- and the Prophet ﷺ himself told ʿÂishah, I am to you as Abû Zarʿwas to Umm Zarʿ, except that I will never divorce you.

4.  Be a True Qawwâm

Know that being a qawwâm is a matter of being a good leader – not authoritarian or a dictator, but someone who inspires love and respect, who treats others with dignity and respect… The popular book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is a great resource for understanding what good leadership is. There are several excellent Islamic resources discussing leadership lessons from the life of the Prophet ﷺ.  [3]  [4]   Strive to embody the Sunnah in your character, not just in how many rakʿahs a day you pray.

ʿÂishah RA described the Prophet thus: “His character was the Quran.” [5] Be the type of husband that a wife describes in such a manner.

Remember that as a qawwâm, you are responsible and accountable for the well-being of your household and those under your care.

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

“Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The amîr (ruler) who is over the people is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock; a man is a shepherd in charge of the inhabitants of his household and he is responsible for his flock…”  [6]

5.  Be friends before you become spouses

That might sound odd (or not) – but we often put so much pressure on ourselves to fulfill a role (husband/wife), that we forget to get to know each other as friends first. Every marriage will go through ups and downs, intimately and otherwise… and you’ll be surprised to realize how much having a solid, sincere friendship can pull you through the hard times.

One example of RasûlAllah’s “friendship” with his wives is his relationship with Sawdah bint Zamʿah RA. She was the first woman whom he married after the death of Khadijah, and although she was considered to be elderly and not as beautiful as the other women whom he would later marry, their relationship was one of camaraderie, confidence, and laughter.  [7]

6.  Don’t be embarrassed or ignorant of female biology

Learn about it – from menstruation to female sexuality to pregnancy and everything else. You need to know this stuff – it will impact your life significantly, intimately and otherwise. Don’t laugh it off or act as though it’s not worth your time and attention. Women’s health is sorely misunderstood, and having a disinterested (or worse, disgusted) husband can make things even more difficult for women.

The Prophet ﷺ did not shy away from these matters, either as a husband or as a Messenger of Allah. Instead, he constantly enjoined men to be aware of and sensitive to their wives’ needs – just as he was with his wives.

Narrated Umm Salamah RA:

While I was laying with the Prophet ﷺ under a single woolen sheet, I got the menses. I slipped away and put on the clothes for menses. He said, “Have you got “nifâs” (menses)?” I replied, “Yes.” He then called me and made me lie with him under the same sheet.   [8]

7.  Be responsible

Being “a good Muslim husband” doesn’t just mean fulfilling the basic rights as a husband and leaving it at that. Being a good Muslim husband means that you are on the ball as a responsible adult – whether it’s paying the bills, taking out the trash, cleaning a mess in the house, or being an engaged father (not ‘babysitting’). Doing these things is not a “kindness to the wife,” or “helping out at home.” It’s not “extra credit” and deserving of lavish praise. It is part and parcel of being a grown man responsible for his surroundings, his family, and himself. Do these things out of mindfulness that Allah will never waste your efforts for His Sake.

Narrated Al-Aswad RA:

I asked ʿÂishah what did the Prophet use to do at home. She replied. “He used to keep himself busy serving his family and when it was time for the prayer, he would get up for prayer.” (Bukhâri)

ʿÂishah RA reported:

I was asked, “What did the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, do in his house?” I said, “The Prophet was a man among men. He would remove fleas from his clothes, milk his sheep, and serve himself.” (Musnad Ahmad 25662)

8.  Don’t pursue your nawâfil at the expense of your wife’s farâ’iḍ

One issue that many men fall into is that in their zeal to engage more in ʿibâda, they end up burdening their wives even more – to the extent that she is barely able to pray her five ṣalawât with khushûʿ. Both spouses should encourage and facilitate opportunities for each other to strengthen as Muslims, but mothers of young children especially need their husbands to step up so that they can have the necessary time they need to reconnect with Allah and flourish spiritually. (And no, that doesn’t just mean five minutes here and there.)

Ramadan is a time when this becomes more obvious than ever – for example, many men will go to Ṣalat Al-Ṭarâwîḥ while leaving their wives to deal with the children, in addition to having cooked ifṭâr beforehand. On a daily basis, though, go out of your way to facilitate your wife’s ʿibâda and spiritual connection.

Narrated Abû Juḥaifah RA:

The Prophet ﷺ made a bond of brotherhood between Salmân Al-Fârisi RA and Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA. Salmân RA paid a visit to Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA and found Umm Al-Dardâ’ RA dressed in shabby clothes and asked her why she was in that state. She replied, “Your brother Abû Al-Dardâ’ R is not interested in (the luxuries of) this world.”

In the meantime Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA came and prepared a meal for Salmân RA. Salmân RA requested Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA to eat (with him), but Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA said, “I am fasting.” Salmân RA said, “I am not going to eat unless you eat.”

So, Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA ate (with Salmân). When it was night and (a part of the night had passed), Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA got up (to offer the night prayer), but Salmân RA told him to sleep and Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA slept.

After sometime Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA again got up but Salmân RA told him to sleep. When it was the last hours of the night, Salmân RA told him to get up then, and both of them offered the prayer.

Salmân RA told Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA, “Your Lord has a right on you, your soul has a right on you, and your family has a right on you; so you should give the rights of all those who has a right on you.”

Abû Al-Dardâ’ RA came to the Prophet ﷺ and narrated the whole story. The Prophet ﷺ said, “Salmân RA has spoken the truth.”   [9]

9.  Learn conflict resolution skills

One big reason that couples end up going to Shuyûkh for counseling is because they simply haven’t learned how to communicate and resolve conflicts in a healthy manner. It’s not even about one specific issue or another; it’s about learning how to deal with whatever issues arise, in the most respectful and appropriate manner possible.  [10]

The Quran and Sunnah urge positive reconciliation between believers, and especially between husbands and wives.

“And live with them honourably. For if you dislike them – perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.” [Sûrat Al-Nisâ’, 4:19]

“And if a woman fears from her husband contempt or evasion, there is no sin upon them if they make terms of settlement between them – and settlement is best. And present in [human] souls is stinginess. But if you do good and fear Allah – then indeed Allah is ever with what you do, Acquainted.” [Sûrat Al-Nisâ’, 4:128]

10. Love your wife for who she is

Not because she’s the person who cooks for you or does your laundry. Not because she’s the mother of your child(ren). Not because you’ve settled into routine and you feel comfortable having her around and she knows how to work the coffee maker and where the family’s paperwork is filed. Love her for her. Her personality traits, her talents, her hobbies, the things about her that make her unique.

Notice them, appreciate them, compliment them. Let her know that you don’t just see her as wife or mother, but as an individual on her own. Know that long before she married you, indeed long before she was born to her own parents, she was created as a separate soul – a human being whose primary identity is as a slave of Allah.

And most importantly – let her know that you love her, with all the pride and openness that RasûlAllah ﷺ demonstrated when he was asked, “Who do you love most?” and he responded, simply and beautifully, “ʿÂishah.”   [11]

There are of course numerous other pieces of advice that can be dispensed on the topic – everything from giving gifts to resolving in-law issues to arranging date-nights and so on. However, more important than specific behaviours are the principles behind them – and it these principles which have been highlighted.

In short, Muslim men should strive to match the standards set by RasûlAllah ﷺ when he said:

“The best of you are those who are the best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.”   [12]

————————–

[1] http://sunnah.com/riyadussaliheen/18/2

[2] http://sunnah.com/bukhari/67/123

[3] http://muslimmatters.org/2014/10/28/lessons-in-leadership-from-the-prophet-muhammad-saw/ and http://muslimmatters.org/2014/11/04/21-lessons-in-leadership-from-the-prophet-part-2/

[4] https://theislamicworkplace.com/2006/11/15/the-leadership-process-of-muhammad-s-from-hadith/

[5] http://sunnah.com/urn/2203080

[6] http://sunnah.com/abudawud/20/1

[7] http://thesalafifeminist.blogspot.ca/2014/08/his-laughter-her-love.html

[8] http://sunnah.com/bukhari/6/5

[9] http://sahaba.net/salman-farisi-rights/

[10] https://aljumuah.com/cooling-the-fires-of-marriage-part-1-an-approach-to-conflict-resolution/

[11] http://sunnah.com/bukhari/64/384

[12] Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi, 3895; Ibn Mâjah, 1977; classed as saḥîḥ by al-Albaani in Saḥîḥ al-Tirmidhi

ZAINAB BINT YOUNUS

Zainab bint Younus is a Canadian Muslimah who has been active in grassroots da’wah and writing about Islam and the Ummah for the last nine years. She was first published in al-Ameen Newspaper (Vancouver, Canada) at the age of 14, became a co-founder, editor, and writer for MuslimMatters.org at 16; and began writing regularly for SISTERS Magazine at the age of 19 until today. She also blogs regularly at The Salafi Feminist
Categories
Du'aas

D-Anger

See link for reference:

What is the best way to deal with Anger and Waswasas?

Answer

In the name of Allāh, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalāmu ῾alaykum wa Rahmatullāhi Wabarakātuh

ANGER

ANSWER TO THE FIRST QUERY: Anger is natural to man. There is no man without the instinct of anger. Allah has placed this quality in man for some reason. It is given to man for the purpose of protecting himself, his possessions, his family and his relatives. If he is bereft of the quality of anger then he will never be angry and never defend himself when attacked by an enemy or an animal. So, man is allowed to show anger to protect himself and, the Shariah has not placed any restriction on that. However, what is required s that man keeps it under control, which if he does so, he will save himself from many difficulties. Conversely, if man does not control his anger he is prone to commit innumerable sins. It is anger that gives rise to arrogance; it gives root to jealousy; an angry man bears malice and is also hostile. Hence, man needs to learn how to use this innate tool of anger for his advantage and protect himself from its abuse and nasty consequences.

A FEW ANTIDOTES

Hereunder follow a few prescriptions and antidotes to ‘diffuse’ one in the rage of anger. May Allah Ta’ala grant us the Divine ability to implement these when we are placed in such situations, Āmin.

  1. A) RECITE TA’WWUZ – When faced with a situation of anger and excitement, the first thing one should do is act on the directive that Allah Ta’ala has given in the Qurān:

وَإِمَّا يَنْزَغَنَّكَ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ نَزْغٌ فَاسْتَعِذْ بِاللَّهِ

“(O Rasulullah) If a provocation from Shaytan provokes you, then seek refuge in Allah.”

(Surah Fussilat – S.41, V.36)

That is, recite,

أَعُوْذُ باِللهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيْمْ

“I seek refuge in Allah from the dejected devil.”

The devil has provoked you, but you have sought the refuge of Allah, so Allah will preserve you from its evil consequences.

  1. B) SIT DOWN OR LIE DOWN – The next thing to be done when angry is to follow the advice of Rasulullah r. It is an unusual but psychological procedure. Rasulullah u advised,

“If you feel the rage of anger in you then, if you are standing, sit down. If the feeling persists in that posture, then lie down.” (Abu Dāwud, Vol.2, Pg.316, Maktabah Ramāniyyah)

  1. C) THINK OF THE POWER OF ALLAH – Yet another method to counter anger is to say to oneself,

“Suppose Allah was to be angry at me in the same way I am angry at this man, then what will become of me?”

We are told in a hadith that Rasulullah r came across Abu Bakr t scolding his slave. He was blaming him harshly. According to a version, Rasilullah r said,

“Remember, Allah has more power and authority over you than you have over him. You use your authority to hurt him but Allah has more authority over you.”

  1. D) GET ALLAH’S HELP WHEN YOU NEED IT THE MOST – It is recorded in one of the previous Divine books that Allah Ta’ala has mentioned regarding an angry person,

“Remember me in the time of your anger and I (Allah) will consider you at time when I am in full fury.”

(Ihyā Ulumiddīn Vol.2, Pg.219; Dāru Misr Littibā’ah)

  1. E) KEEP SILENT – Sayyiduna Ibn Abbās t has reported Rasulullah r to have said,

“When you become angry, remain silent.”

(Ihyā Ulumiddīn Vol.2, Pg.219; Dāru Misr Littibā’ah)

By remaining silent, calm and sedate, one will be in complete control of one’s mind and senses thus allowing one to act in correct measure.

  1. F) REMEMBER THESE PHRASES – Next time, before getting angry or while one is in a fit of anger, one may well consider the following wise sayings-

“Anger Is A Very Valuable Thing So Don’t Lose It!”

“For Every Minute You Are Angry, You Lose 60 Seconds Of Happiness!”

May Allah Ta’ālā protect us from the snares of Shaytan and nafs, and may He allow us to attain His Divine pleasure through our anger, Āmīn.

WASWASA (EVIL WHISPERS & DOUBTS)

ANSWER TO THE SECOND QUERY: From the outset we should understand that Allah Ta’ala has given Shaytan the power of whispering into the heart of a person. It is for this reason that we implore Allah’s protection against such whisperings in Surah Nās,

“I seek protection… from the mischief of the whisperer (of evil), who withdraws (after his whisper). He who whispers into the heart of mankind…”

(Surah Nās – S. 114, V. 4-6)

Whilst the evil whispers of Shaytan cannot be heard, its message can be perceived and comprehended by the heart. A golden rule to remember is that, as long as one does not subscribe to these whisperings, (into ones heart), there is no need to become worried and perturbed about them; the whisperings should merely be ignored. In the same note, whilst these whisperings pose a test to mans will-power of restraint, Allah Ta’ālā has provided man with antidotes to secure ourselves from the evil of these injected whispers taking effect.

A FEW ANTIDOTES

  1. A) OCCUPY YOURSELF – Among the numerous divine prescriptions of shielding oneself from waswasas (whisperings), one such technique is to busy oneself in some task when one gets them. One cannot get rid of them by simply desiring them to go away, hence one should occupy himself in some activity. Along with that, one should constantly recite the undermentioned supplication recommended by Rasulullah r for removing these whisperings. The supplication (dua) is as follows:

اَللَّهُمَّ اجْعَلْ وَسَاوِسَ قَلْبِىْ خَشْيَتَكَ وَ ذِكْرَكَ وَ اجْعَلْ هِمَّتِىْ وَ هَوَايَ فِيْمَا تُحِبُّ وَ تَرْضَى

“O Allah! Make Your fear and remembrance the obsession of my mind and divert my will and courage to the performance of deeds that please You.”

(Al Hizbul A’zam)

It is the disposition of man that his mind is always occupied and never without thoughts. His hands may be doing something but his mind is thinking of something else and continuously receives diverse thoughts. Therefore, we must implore Allah Ta’ālā via this Dua that the idle thoughts we receive be replaced by Allah’s remembrance and fear.

  1. B) DOUBTING ALLAH AND ISLAM – Sayyiduna Ibn Abbas t has stated that if the Shaytan casts an evil scruple in anyone’s heart, and thus causes skepticism about Allah Ta’ala and as to which is the religion of truth, he should in a soft tone recite the following verse:

هُوَ الْأَوَّلُ وَالْآَخِرُ وَالظَّاهِرُ وَالْبَاطِنُ وَهُوَ بِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ عَلِيمٌ

“He is the First and the Last, the Manifest and the Hidden and He is All-Knowing about everything.”

(Surah Al Hadīd, S.57, V.3)

(Ma’āriful Qurān, English, Vol.8, Pg.305; Maktaba-e-Dārul-Uloom Karāchi.14 )

  1. C) DIFFERENCES AMONGST THE SAHABAH t – Someone asked Rabi Ibnul Khaitham about the shahādah (martyrdom) of Sayyidunā Husein t. He sighed and recited the verse:

قُلِ اللَّهُمَّ فَاطِرَ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ عَالِمَ الْغَيْبِ وَالشَّهَادَةِ أَنْتَ تَحْكُمُ بَيْنَ عِبَادِكَ فِي مَا كَانُوا فِيهِ يَخْتَلِفُونَ

“O Allah! Creator of the heavens and the earth, Knower of the unseen and the seen, You will judge between Your servants in that which they used to differ.”

(Surah Zumar – S.39, V.46)

And thereafter said, “Whenever you have a doubt about the mutual differences of the noble Sahabah t, do recite this verse.”

Additionally, Tafsir Ruhul Ma’ani reports this statement and then says,

“This incident serves to teach us the best etiquette with regard to this issue, and this is something one should always bear in mind.”

(Ma’āriful Qurān, Vol.7, Pg.570)

  1. D) SAFETY AGAINST THE CLUTCHES OF SHAYTAN – In the undermentioned verse, Allah Ta’ālā commands His Nabi r and the the Ummah to seek protection from the evil insinuation and instigation of the Shaytan, to commit sin, to confuse one and to enrage his temper where he loses control over himself.

وَقُلْ رَبِّ أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ هَمَزَاتِ الشَّيَاطِينِ . وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ رَبِّ أَنْ يَحْضُرُونِ

“Say O Muhammad r, ‘O Allah! I seek your protection from the whisperings of the Shaytān, and, O my Rabb, I seek Your protection that they (the Shaytāns) approach me (because they always approach with evil).’”

(Surah Mu’minun – S. 23, V. 98)

(Al Jāmiu Li Ahkāmil Qurān – Qurtubī, Vol.12, Pg.154; Dārul Hadīth, Egypt)

May Allah Ta’ālā allow us to recite these supplications constantly, and may He occupy our minds with His fear and remembrance, Āmīn.

And Allāh Ta῾āla Knows Best
Wassalāmu ῾alaykum 

 

Ml. Zeyad Danka,
Student Dārul Iftā

Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Dārul Iftā, Madrasah In῾āmiyyah

 

 

 

 

Dua for those of us who get angry

Do you want to cure your anger problem?

This is a beautiful du’a for those of us who get angry quickly:

اللّهُمَ اغْفِرْ لِيْ ذَنْبِيْ ، وَأَذْهِبْ غَيْظَ قَلْبِيْ، وَأَجِرْنِيْ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ

Allahummaghfirli dhanbi, wa adh-hib ghayza qalbi, wa ajirni min al-shaytan.

O Allah, forgive my sins, remove the rage in my heart and protect me from the Shaytan. (Ibn al-Sunni, 622)

Categories
Ruqya Shaykh Saleem Dhorat

Cure From Black Magic, Jinn & Illness

By Shaykh Muhammad Saleem Dhorat hafizahullah

In recent times, people distressed with ailments – internal and external – have resorted to people who cure through ta’weez and, in some cases, through the agency of jinn (or mu’akkal as some call it). I do not intend to go into the depth of the evils that lie within this institution, but would sincerely request readers to take note of the following points with a fair mind and without being biased so that we may be saved from the deceit of Shaytan which is hidden in the form of pious saintly people who claim to have supernatural powers to cure illnesses and solve problems.

1. Illnesses, problems, calamities, and quarrels are natural for humans, and one should look for remedies and solutions through lawful means. One should not, without any endeavour, assume the problem or illness to be through black magic or an outside effect. Refer to the doctors and have it treated.

2. If one is suffering from anxiety and depression, and cannot find peace of mind, then he/she should check his/her life and see where the Commands of Allah and His Rasool sallallahu alayhi wasallam are being violated. Come nearer to Allah through His Remembrance, for that is where the contentment of heart and peace of mind lies. “In the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction” (Al Qur’an 13:28).

3. The knowledge of the unseen is an Attribute of Allah the Almighty Only. None in the heavens and on earth knows the unseen except Allah. Many of these “so-called” healers claim to know many things of the unseen and to believe such people could lead one to kufr. Rasoolullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam has said, “One who resorts to an arraf (fortune-teller) and asks him about anything, Salah will not be accepted from him for forty days.” (Muslim) Rasoolullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam has also said, “One who resorts to a kahin (soothsayer/claimant to the knowledge of the unseen) and believes him in what he says, has rejected that which has been sent down to Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam.”

4. Those who violate the law of Allah cannot be pious. A Walee (Friend) of Allah is one who abstains from disobedience to Allah. Those who touch women, who treat women without any veil or partition, who sit with women in solitude i.e. without a male mahram, how can they possibly be the Friends of Allah. Do not be deceived, friends.

5. In case of doubt, contact your local ulama or those who have been known to you for years for their taqwa, piety and reliability. In sha’ Allah, their guidance will save you from going into the wrong hands.

NOW TO SAFEGUARD YOURSELF FROM BLACK-MAGIC

Allah ta’ala, through his Infinite Mercy, has taught His Servants such du’a and recitation which does not only cure, but saves them from the evil effects of black-magic, jinn, etc.:

1. After completing fardh Salah, recite the masnoon waza’if and thereafter ayatul kursi.

Note: Ayatul kursi is a verse from Surah Baqarah starting Allahu laa’ilaaha illaa huwal… (Al Qur’an 2:255)

2. Before going to Sleep, read Ayatul kursi. Rasoolullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam has said, “Whoever recites Ayatul kursi at night, a protector (angel) from Allah continually safeguards him and Shaytaan will not come near him until morning.”(Bukhari)

3. Read Surah lkhlas, Surah Falaq and Surah Naas after every fardh Salaah. (Read them thrice after the Fajr and Maghrib Salah).

4. Before going to sleep, read the last two verses of Surah Baqarah. Rasoolullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam has said, “Whoever recites the last two verses of Surah Al Baqarah at night, they will be sufficient for him. “ (They will save him from Shaytaan and other misfortunes). (Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmizi, Aboo Dawood, Nasaee, Ibne Majah)

5. Read the following du’a in abundance:

A’oozu bikalimaatil’laahit taam’maati min shar’ri maa khalaq

Translation: I seek refuge in all the Perfect Words Of Allah from the mischief of His Creations. (Muslim, Tirmizi, Ibne Majah)

6. Read the following du’a at the beginning of the day and night:

Bismil’laahil lazi laa yadhur’ru ma’a ismihi shay’un fil ardhi walaa fis samaa’i wahuwas samee’ul ‘aleem

Translation: In the Name of Allah with Whose Name nothing can cause harm in the earth and the heaven. And He is All Hearing, All Knowing. (Abu Dawood, Tirmidhi, Ibne Maiah, Hakim)

The above-mentioned prayers will, in Sha Allah, prevent the evil effects of black-magic and other outside effects. These are measures derived directly from the teaching of the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wasallam and, if recited regularly, with sincerity, yaqeen and Trust in Allah, then one will never complain of evil-effects.

REMEDY FOR ILLNESSES

Regular recitation of the above-mentioned is also effective in removing evil effects. Along with these azkar, turn to Allah, repent sincerely and beseech Him. After all, it is He Only that brings cure to every illness and solution to every problem. The following du’a are also effective for cure:

Allaahumma rabban naas, azhibil ba’s, ishfi antas shaafi, laa shifaa’a illaa shifaa’uk, shifaa’an laa yughaadiru suqman

Translation: 0 Allah 0 the Lord Of the people! Remove the pain. Grant cure, You are the Curer. There is no cure except Your Cure. Grant such a cure that leaves no sickness. (Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmizi, ibne Majah)

Bismillaahi arqeeka, min kulli shay’in yu’zeeka, wa min sharri kulli nafsin aw ‘aynin haasidin, allaahu yashfeeka, bismillaahi arqeeka.

Translation: In The Name of Allah I make damm (blow) upon you from everything which harms you and from the evil of every person or jealous eye. May Allah grant you cure. In The Name of Allah I make damm (blow) on you. (Muslim, Ibne Majah)

Once again, remember that those people who violate the laws of Allah, cannot be saintly persons. Seek guidance from ulama who are known to you. In sha’Allah, you will not go wrong. May Allah safeguard all Muslims from calamities; may He safeguard their Deen; may He give them the correct understanding of Deen; may He keep them away from every action which is contrary to the teachings of Islam and which brings the Displeasure of Allah.

Ameen.

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Categories
Marriage

10 Habits of Happy Couples

wife

As Leo Tolstoy once said, “All happy families resemble one another; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” We can smile at that quote or it can inspire us to ask ourselves some wise questions: What is it that happy families are doing? And, do my spouse and I fall into the category of happy couples?

If you want to have a superior relationship with your partner and be a good role model for your children, then enhance your verbal skills today by adopting the tips below. What I have found as a couples mediator is that the same verbal skills work to improve every relationship. These 10 quick and simple tips from my book Fight Less, Love More will keep the peace in the family and make your love connection stronger. Even if you’re using the tips and your husband or wife isn’t, their effect will still be astonishing.

Pick The Right Battles

1  of  10

Before you get angry and reprimand your mate for making a mistake or doing something you told him or her not to do, stop and ask yourself this one wise question: “Does this affect me?” If it doesn’t, button your lips and avoid a fight. After all, your mate is the one who must deal with the consequence, not you.

Be A Detective

2  of  10

When your mate’s mistake does affect you, what then? Rather than being hostile, find out what really happened. Ask neutral and respectful questions such as, “Can you tell me what happened?” or “I don’t understand. Am I missing something here?” You might discover a good reason for the oversight or blunder, which could avoid a blow-up.

Complain With Impact

3  of  10

When you have a complaint, say what you do want, not what you don’t want. For example, rather than saying to your child or mate, “Get off that darn computer — you’re so rude!” instead target your mate using a positive approach: “I miss your company. Can you join me in the living room to hang out?”

Skip The ‘Whatever’ Word

4  of  10

Being passive by often saying “whatever you want” might temporarily avoid a fight, but it could breed resentment because it leaves the majority of decisions to your mate, which can be stressful. Instead, have a real opinion and share it.

Create Policies

5  of  10

If your mate does something that affects and disturbs you, such as overspending or making plans for both of you without asking the other first, don’t get sucked into the heated “How could you?” argument. Instead, focus on the future by creating policy solutions, as in, “From now on can we agree to make a budget for our personal expenses?” Or: “Can we agree to check in with each other before making plans for both of us?”

Show You Care

6  of  10

Forgetting to ask about what’s going on in your child or your mate’s daily life is a surefire way to erode a relationship. From now on, if you know that someone in your family has an important meeting, test, doctor appointment, or event that day, don’t neglect it — instead, respect it. Call, email, text, or ask in person, “How did it go?” This sends a clear message: I care about you.

Avoid Factual Arguments

7  of  10

Do you and your mate often find yourselves arguing about the name of a restaurant you went to, a certain address, someone’s birthday, an historical fact, or sports figure? Then you are prone to having a dumb argument! Stop the conversation and do an online fact check, call a friend, or simply drive by the location.

Apologize With The ‘B’ Word

8  of  10

Quickly saying the words “I’m sorry” is a bad apology because it often comes off as insincere, and could trigger another battle. Next time you seek mercy, add the “B” word: Say, “I’m sorry because…” and share how you hurt your mate and what you will do to prevent the wrongdoing from recurring. Research shows that when you add the “because clause” your words are more persuasive.

Create Border Control

9  of  10

Are you ever angry with your partner for revealing something to others that you consider private, like a health issue, a child discipline issue, job insecurity, or a marital disagreement? If so, bypass the “How could you say that?!” argument. Instead, establish border control: Outline the topics that should remain private to insure that neither of you becomes an accidental traitor.

Give A Daily Dose Of Recognition

10  of  10

Most couples on the divorce path seldom compliment each other. In our online survey for Fight Less, Love More, we asked people, “Would you rather your mate compliment you for being kind or good-looking?” The result was that 84 percent of people said “kind.” The lesson: Find daily opportunities to recognize your mate for something that reflects a character strength (you are such a wonderful mother/father, you are so thoughtful when you…).