Categories
Current Affairs articles

Snowmen Jokes

Further to my previous post, I thought I would lighten the mood a little…

629653980-612x612.jpgQ: What do snowmen take when the sun gets too hot?
A: A chill pill.

Q: Where does a snowman keep his money?
A: In a snow bank.

Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A: Snowflakes.

Q: What kind of ball doesn’t bounce?
A: A snowball.

Q: What is a girl snowman called?
A: A snow-ma’am.

Q: What’s white and flies up?
A: A confused snowflake.

Q: What did the snow pile say when he was asked to commit a crime?
A: Snow way man

Q: Why didn’t the snow man eat the chicken wings?
A: Because it had hot sauce on it.

Q: What is Frosty the Snowman’s favourite cereal?
A: Ice Crispies.

Q: What do snowmen wear on their heads?
A: Ice caps.

Q: Where do snowmen get the weather report?
A: The Winternet.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Q: What does a snowman eat for breakfast?
A: Frosted flakes.

Q: What did one snowman say to the other?
A: Do you smell carrots?

Q: What did the snowman say to the other snowman?
A: You’re cool.

Q: What do you call a snowman party?
A: A Snowball.

Q: What was the snowman’s favorite dinner?
A: An Iceberger.

Q: Why did the snow man turn yellow?
A: Ask the dog.

Q: How does Frosty the Snowman get around the neighbourhood?
A: On his ice-icle.

Q: Why did Frosty go to the middle of the big lake?
A: Because snow man’s an island.

Q: What does a snowman like to put on his icebergers?
A: Chilly sauce.

Q: What did the police officer say when he saw the snowman stealing?
A: Freeze.

Q: What kind of cake does snowman like?
A: Any kind with lots of frosting.

Q: Where do Frosty the snowman and his wife go to dance?
A: Snowballs.

Q: What does a snowman put on his face at night?
A: Cold cream.

Q: What does Frosty the Snowman take when he gets sick?
A: A chill pill.

Categories
Current Affairs articles

How NOT to Make a Snowman

by Anonymoussnowman-og.jpg
It had been snowing all night – Soo…
8:00 am I made a snowman.
8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.
8:15 So, I made a snow woman, too.
8:17 My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.
8:20 The homosexual couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.
8:22 The transgender man..wom…person asked why I didn’t just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa.
8:40 The Police arrive saying someone has been offended.
8:42 The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 TV news crew from the ABC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, “Snowballs” and am now called a sexist.
9:00 I’m on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic, sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices. My children are taken by social services.
9:29 Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding I be charged by the Anti-Everything Commissioner and for me to be beheaded.

So, how’s your morning been?

Moral: There is no moral to this story. It’s just a view of the world in which we live today, and it is only getting worse…

Categories
Personalities

99 Lessons from Ertugrul Dirilis

ertugcrusaders.jpgsuleyman-sah_16_9_1519238672-880x495.jpg

  1. The first and most important reason I started watching Ertugrul (and continued) was his confidence, it was admirable and beyond belief. We need our young boys to emulate this.
  2. Trust in Allah SWT, look at Ertugrul and all the beys. Especially Suleiman Shah, when he goes to get his son from Karyatkor. He has a sword to his neck, despite this, he trusts in Allah SWT.
  3. The courage of the people of Kayi tribe. Even their womenfolk are courageous and will put up a sword fight with any man.
  4. Live simple. Notice there is no extravagance, how simply they live and what they eat and how they dress. Contentment is a great blessing from Allah SWT.
  5. Know that death is always around the corner. See how they don’t keep much hope on life, the most unreliable thing in life is life itself.
  6. Don’t trust anyone too much. The brother of Suleiman Shah, Kurdoglu and Selcan Hatun (in series 1) were not trustworthy. Notice how they lie to their own family and try to kill them. You have to be sharp at all times.
  7. Beware of enemies, keep friends close keep enemies closer. Stay vigilant at all times, there can be enemies in your own circle.
  8. Observe how one lie, one liar can cause bloodshed and war. See how Kurdoglu causes rifts and friction to tear the tribe apart. We need to control our tongues.
  9. Muslim unity is important, people who divide us are a Fitnah. We must not look at colour, language and caste. Kayi and Dodurga when they unite they are strong.
  10. Black magic and poison are common, they exist and are real. A wife can even do it to her own husband.ertgugrul.jpg
  11. Follow your traditions and principles your parents and grandparents taught you. More importantly, follow al-Islam.
  12. Men need to control their womenfolk and be on top of them, Islam says ‘men are protectors.’ Look how out of control Selcan Hatun gets, because Gundogdu is not brave enough.
  13. Some women have long and sharp tongues, their tongues need to be caged. This is obvious in Aytalon and Goncagul Hatun.
  14. Being older in the family doesn’t necessarily mean you are wiser, Ertugrul is younger than Gundogdu. But sometimes, well more often than not Ertugrul makes wiser and braver decisions.
  15. The family relationship is important, unity and brotherhood. Respecting each other and obeying your parents. You will find this in Suleiman Shah and his sons, also in front of their mother too. Deep respect.
  16. A father should be the pivot of the family, Suleiman Shah was very well respected.
  17. A good leader needs good ministers/waziers, people to take counsel from and advice.
  18. A good leader also needs a good wife, Mother Hayme is bedrock support.
  19. Adab is important in Islam, with your family, the community and all human beings.
  20. Your appearance and identity should not change, no matter where you live.ertgul.jpg
  21. Speak the truth even if everyone is against you, just like Ertugrul followed his intuition against Gundogdu. Especially when he was accused by Kurdoglu and Kocabash for killing the Alps.
  22. Be careful whom you marry, marrying the wrong person can wreck your life and expose your secrets. Just like Gokce eavesdrops for Tugtekin.
  23. If you lie and accuse people you will be caught eventually, Selcan Hatun slandered Aykiz and faced the consequences.
  24. Take time to think and make wise decisions, one can observe how Ertugrul is never hasty.
  25. Learn to take blessings and Dua from your parents, also from your elders too like Suleiman Shah’s sons do.
  26. Never forego principles.
  27. Sometimes women must think of the consequences they can cause and damage they can do with their tongues.
  28. Learn to give your life for Allah, which is evident in all the Beys.
  29. The truth doesn’t always make sense and the odd don’t always add up, be astute.
  30. Tawakkul, trust in Allah. The best example is Imam Ibn Arabi RH.ertu
  31. Constantly remember Allah in your heart, do dhikr excessively.
  32. Look for advice and guidance in the stories of the Prophets (peace be upon him).
  33. Naivety is a dangerous disease, Gundodgu is blatantly naïve and pays the price for it.
  34. Sweet words are poisonous, Goncagul Hatun is an expert in this field but it only lands her in trouble in the end.
  35. Learn to have mercy on your young ones, Allah has blessed every human being with some hidden talent. We just need to discover it.
  36. Take advice and counsel form your elders, you don’t have experience of everything. But believe me, experience is everything!
  37. Learn archery and teach it to your young boys.
  38. Horse riding is from the Sunnah.
  39. Keep fit, healthy and strong, always be on alert from the attack of enemies.
  40. Traitors exist in every era, Kocabash, Kundoglu and Selcan Hatun.ertugr.png
  41. A good mother is always overlooking her family and being vigilant. Mother Hayme is super sharp and wise.
  42. Be considerate and care for each other, Bamsi, Turgut and Dogan are unbreakable.
  43. Repent to Allah after mistakes, Selcan’s crimes were heinous but she still did tawbah.
  44. Criminals should be punished no matter who they are, Kurdodglu was beheaded.
  45. Sometimes people in power abuse their positions, Sadettin Kobeck wasn’t trustworthy and abused his authority.
  46. Anger is dangerous and clouds your judgement, there is ample evidence of this in Tugtekin.
  47. Friends can become enemies and enemies become friends, Selcan Hatun changed her life with a U-turn in series 2. Love and hate in moderation.
  48. Liars will do anything to hide the truth, Goncagul killed the old woman to hide Aytolun’s secrets. However, she was later exposed too.
  49. A man will do anything for power, Gumestekin Bey played tricks with Sadettin Kopec for power and politics. Sadly, this ended in his death.ertugrudirilis.jpgDirilis axe

TBC for series 3 and series 4…

Ismail ibn Nazir Satia (one who is in dire need of Allah’s forgiveness, mercy and pleasure)

1 Safar 1440

Categories
Muslim men

Why We Don’t Pray When We’re On Our Period – A Reflection on Allah’s Attributes As The Merciful and The Creator

https://myrihla.com/2017/08/17/why-we-dont-pray-when-were-on-our-period-a-reflection-on-allahs-attributes-as-the-merciful-and-the-creator/img_20170905_121646

I came across the post below on Buruj Lan-dan’s page on why we as Muslim women don’t pray when we’re on our monthly periods, and it’s a topic that’s been on my mind for a while so I wanted to share it with you adding my own reflections at the end.

Why don’t we pray when we are on our monthly cycles?

A dear friend of mine explained it to me and it blew me away. May Allah protect her always.

There is not a deed as great as the prayer. And no one is excused from it under any circumstances. Even men in battles are commanded to pray in whatever way they can.

But the only time a servant of Allah is entirely excused from praying and from even making up the missed prayers is when as a woman you suffer from all the difficulties that come with menstruation.

I love how my friend worded the wisdom behind it.

“Allah has mercy on you because He knows no one around you will”

Your boss doesn’t care if you come late to work because you were suffering from cramps in the morning. Your children don’t demand any less on those days of weakness and tiredness. Your husband doesn’t have any more patience with your mood swings when sadness or anger overwhelms you for no reason. When you step out, nobody knows how much your body either aches or how much your mind is distracted by incessant thoughts. You are on your own.

So, Allah the Most Merciful, Ar-Raheem, Ar Rahman, removes His obligation on you because no one else will.

We could’ve been commanded to make them up – if the reason was purely Taharah (purity) but we weren’t. He gives us a break when no one will.

The other time a woman is excused is when she has given birth. Her body, her mind labours to bring another life into the world and becomes occupied with taking care of it – and again Allah excuses her.

This is what makes me fall in love with Allah and Islam even more. For only Allah could know the intricate details of our struggle and give us what we need the most – mercy. – From Buruj Lan-Dan’s Facebook Page

My Reflection

It’s common for us to jokingly refer to our periods as holidays because we’re absolved from the responsibility of praying. After a few days however the effect quickly wanes and we find ourselves craving the doses of serenity that we get through prayer. One of the focal benefits of Salah is that it forces us to remember Allah SWT hence being away from it can sometimes make us feel like we’re no longer in that state.

Whenever I’m on my period, I’m reminded of the ayah below:

“We will show them Our Signs in the universe, and in their own selves until it becomes manifest to them that this (the Quran) is the truth” [Fussilat 41:53]

On the earth are Signs for those of assured Faith; as also in your own selves: will yet not then see?” [Al-Dhariyat 51:20 – 21]

In fact, my periods are a time when I am heavily conscious of Allah. Marvelling at the creation of my body and how perfectly it functions. Especially on months when I go through heavy periods, and I’m continually amazed at the way my body self-regulates. (No kidding, some days I feel like I’m gonna bleed out!) There are different ways in our lives that Allah reminds us that is Al-Khaliq, The Creator, and for me, my menstrual cycles are a special reminder of the one who has created me and created me in the best of forms.

I mean think about it, having regular menstrual cycles is a sign that the body is functioning normally, so remember to thank Allah for your health and the numerous blessings that he has given you through your body.

Categories
Current Affairs articles

Weddings

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Setting: Wedding Hall. Stage in the centre and draped with soft silks.

Music playing in the background. Six hundred eager people conversing and anticipating the arrival of the bride.

Enter the bride.

 A dazzling young beauty, laden with only the finest and softest materials enters the hall. Glittery ornaments sparkling in her hair and diamond earrings hanging low, result in some favourable murmurs and nods of approval amongst the women and leaves others baffled at how she managed to grow double her hair length overnight. She smiles, walks down the aisle, and approaches her husband who carefully hands her an exquisite bouquet of the choicest flowers and takes her seat next to him on centre stage. She holds her head and shoulders as a proper bride should—high and elegant. Some start making their way to the front for family photos, handing over gifts, and congratulating the newlyweds. The slideshow on the wall project family photos over the years and the live DJs engage the audience with some heartwarming tunes to get the mood rolling.  Asian-Wedding-set-up

Amidst the clattering of forks and knives enjoying the five-course meal, eyes focus on the young lady who has taken the mike on stage. The bride’s sister says thanks the guests for attending, despite the big derby game, City vs. United, drawing some laughs in the audience, especially amongst the brothers. She says a few words to embarrass the bride, wishes her well on her life ahead and jokingly threatens the groom to make sure he takes care of her (not-so) little sister. She proceeds by adding,

“We pray Allah makes her a wife like Fatimah (R) and him a husband like Ali (R).  May they live the lives of the Sahabahs before us and follow in the footsteps of Nabi ﷺ …”

I tuned out, too busy looking around me. Everyone clapped and happily resumed their meals.

Exeunt. Curtains fall.

images (6)

Was I the only one who found her speech a little pretentious? Ameen to the beautiful Du’aas and Allah is the sole judge of our hearts, but to make a mockery of the Sunnah like that? I was offended. Couples want to court before marriage; they want to choose a best man for their wedding; brothers want the best cars to take their new bride home; sisters demand a mind-blowing Mahr and want a henna ceremony dancing to Bollywood tunes, an over-night hen party (the list goes on and on and on) and then they expect a marriage like the queen of the women of Jannah? We have functions of rife as a public challenge to Allah, inviting his wrath and then expect His Mercy and blessings in it as if we have a right to it? The audacity! My beloved Nabi’s ﷺ life and his families’ lives aren’t there to flower our events and to tick the box for the more “religious” in the crowd; or to balance all the wrongs in the event by adding a few Islamic lines; or to appease our guilt in carrying out such an event. The life of Nabi ﷺ and the lives of the Sahabah (R) and Sahabiyaat (R) are there as examples for you and I to emulate in EVERY aspect of our lives including marriage. A marriage is a sacred union between two people, and it is our duty to keep it sacred. My beloved Nabi ﷺ said,

اعظم النكاح ايسرها مؤنة      

“The most blessed Nikah is the one with the least expenditure.” [1]

When my Nabi ﷺ asked his soon to be son-in-law Ali (R) what he had as Mahr to present to his daughter Fatimah (R), he replied that he only owned  a sword, an armour, and a horse. [2] He sold his armour for four hundred and eighty dirhams which was then presented as a very simple dowry to Fatimah (R). For the wedding feast, Sa’d bin Ubadah (R) offered a sheep and some Ansar offered some corn. [3] The simplicity and ease of their weddings was what put so much Barakah and happiness in their marriages. Nabi ﷺ instructed,

“Hold a wedding feast, even if only with a sheep.” [4]

Nabi ﷺ himself, gave simple wedding feasts to mark his marriages. Safiyya Bint Shaibah (R) narrates, “The Prophet ﷺ gave a banquet of two Mudds (3.5 kg) of barley on marrying some of his wives.” [5]

To consummate his ﷺ’s marriage with Safiyyah Bint Huyay (R), Anas (R) narrates, “The Prophet ﷺ ordered for the leather dining sheets to be spread, and then dates, dried yoghurt and butter were provided over it, and that was the Walimah of the Prophet.” [6] If we tried to emulate these Sunnahs of our beloved Nabi ﷺ in our weddings, then we’d see them naturally turn into beautiful marriages In sha Allah!images (5)

[1] Bayhaqi in his Shu’ab al-Iman & Mishkat al-Masabih
[2] Kifayat at-Taalib, Bihar al-Anwaar
[3] Kanzul Umaal
[4] Sahih Bukhari
[5] Sahih Bukhari
[6] Sahih Bukhari

Zainab Bint Husain

Categories
Muslim women

I don’t wear a Hijab, but my heart is clean!”

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

170720-brands-selling-hijabs-feature“All of my Ummah will be forgiven except those who sin openly…” [1]

Sinning privately is between Allah and His servant and a struggle that only He knows about and which In sha Allah He will give His servant the Tawfiq to repent for. Openly sinning with no remorse is tantamount to a public challenge to Allah and it doesn’t just remain between a servant and his Lord, but with the people too. One is to unashamedly disobey Allah and then to further justify the sin, but “Allah will not help a people until they help themselves.” [2]

Lately, I seem to have come across many sisters who give reasons for their Hijab – or lack thereof!

“I’m not ready for the Hijab yet!”
“So what if my hair is uncovered? My heart is clean!”
“Don’t tell me to wear Hijab, only Allah can judge me.”

Naturally, it led to many debates where not everyone agreed. Hence, this is merely an opinion.

At random, I started looking at other commandments of Allah. His order to fulfil the obligation of Salah comes with the condition that one has reached the age of puberty, is sane, and is a Muslim. Similarly, the donning of Hijab becomes compulsory once a woman reaches the age of puberty. But why are sisters so quick to make excuses like, “I’m not ready yet” and, “But my heart is clean,” when we don’t make the same excuses for our Zakah and fasting the month of Ramadhan?

My mind is at awe with the women around my Nabi ﷺ who dropped all they had in order to comply to another commandment of Allah with the hope of coming closer to Him. Fatimah Al-Zahrah (R), the queen of the women of Jannah, was the epitome of modesty at the time of Nabi ﷺ and continues to serve as an example until the end of time. Similarly, Umm Khallad (R) who upon hearing of the martyrdom of her beloved son on the battlefield, rushed to it whilst veiled. When asked how she managed to cover in such a state, she responded, “I have lost my son, but I have not lost my modesty.” [3]

Such women had the purest of hearts and yet they did not make the excuses we make because it is not befitting for a Muslim woman to ask for a concession in a matter that Allah and His Nabi (S) have ordained for us!

It may be true that a sister without the Hijab may have a heart purer and Taqwa stronger than that of a sister fully covered. However, when a Muslim woman CHOOSES not to wear the Hijab out of her own free-will (without a valid Shar’i reason), she becomes another fallen brick in the wall that divides us as an Ummah because she has chosen to hide her identity. Those who wear the Hijab (despite their struggles) are then labelled fanatics and extremists because another side has presented a “liberal” image which shows the world that it clearly isn’t mandatory to wear the Hijab and it can’t really be part of the faith! And so in this manner, she makes it harder for her “Hijabi” sister to practice her faith.

Those who refuse the Hijab claiming only Allah can judge them, remember that indeed Allah WILL judge them. Let’s help one another to become stronger in our faith and show the world that we are proud of our identity. May Allah help each of us in our struggles and only He knows what they are.

Do you agree? Disagree? All comments welcome, but please be courteous.plain-chiffon-hijab-plain-chiffon-charcoal-hijab-1_large

[1] Bukhari and Muslim
[2] Surah Ra’ad (13:11)
[3] Abu Dawud

Zainab Bint Husain (Allah protect her)

10 Muharram 1440

Categories
Current Affairs articles

10 Green Hadith

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

10 Green Ahadith
By Muhammad Fathi
1 Muharram 1440

federico-beccari-633001-unsplashDid the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) say anything about saving our planet? Did he promote any ideas or practices relevant to the world’s growing concern about the future of the earth and its resources?
Below is a collection of the Prophet’s Ahadith
 
Plant a tree even if it is your last deed:
1. Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “If the Hour (the day of Resurrection) is about to be established and one of you was holding a palm shoot, let him take advantage of even one second before the Hour is established to plant it.” (Reported by Ahmad and Al-Bukhan on the authority of Anas in Al Adab Al-Mufrad,)
 
Planting trees is a renewable source of hasanat:
2. Anas also reported that the Prophet said, “If a Muslim plants a tree or sows seeds, and then a bird, or a person or an animal eats from it, it is regarded as a charitable gift (sadaqah) for him.“ (Bukhari)
 
Conserve resources even when used for rituals:
3. Abdullah ibn Amr ibn Al-`Aas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet passed one day by Sa`d ibn Abi Waqas (May Allah be pleased with him) while he was performing wudu’ (ritual cleaning of body parts in preparation for prayer). The Prophet asked Sa`d, “What is this wastage?” Sa`d replied “Is there wastage in wudu also?” The Prophet said, “Yes, even if you are at a flowing river.” (Ahmad and authenticated Ahmad Shakir)
 
Keeping environment clean is important:
4. The Prophet warned, “Beware of the three acts that cause you to be cursed: relieving yourselves in shaded places (that people utilize), in a walkway or in a watering place.” (Narrated by Mu`adh , hasan by Al-Albani)

5. Abu Zarr Al-Ghafari (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Removing harmful things from the road is an act of charity (sadaqah).” (Narrated by Abu Dharr Al-Ghafari)
 
No for over-consumption! Consider recycling and fixing before buying new items:
6. Abdullah ibn `Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet said, “The believer is not he who eats his fill while his neighbor is hungry.” (Saheeh al-Bukharee (112))

7. Asked about what the Prophet used to do in his house, the Prophet’s wife, `A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her), said that he used to repair his shoes, sow his clothes and used to do all such household works done by an average person. (Sahih Bukhari)

8. The Prophet said, “Whoever kills a sparrow or anything bigger than that without a just cause, Allah will hold him accountable on the Day of Judgment.”  The listeners asked, “O Messenger of Allah, what is a just cause?” He replied, “That he will kill it to eat, not simply to chop off its head and then throw it away.” (An-Nasa’i)
 
Animals should be cared for:
9. Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet said, “A man felt very thirsty while he was on the way, there he came across a well. He went down the well, quenched his thirst and came out. Meanwhile he saw a dog panting and licking mud because of excessive thirst. He said to himself, “This dog is suffering from thirst as I did.” So, he went down the well again, filled his shoe with water, held it with his mouth and watered the dog. Allah appreciated him for that deed and forgave him.“ The Companions said, “O Allah’s Messenger! Is there a reward for us in serving the animals?” He replied: “There is a reward for serving any living being.” (Bukhari)

10. Abdullah ibn `Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet said, “A woman entered the (Hell) Fire because of a cat which she had tied, neither giving it food nor setting it free to eat from the vermin of the earth.” (Bukhari)

The pen is closest to my heart, so may Allah make a means of hidayat for me and a change for all. In sha Allah…
Ameen
Categories
Muslim men Muslim women

Teenage Years

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Teenage Years: Most Difficult for the Parentssophie-sollmann-632775-unsplash

“I never asked to be born!”
“Stop trying to control my life!”
“I hate you!”
You thought you were over the hard part—changing diapers and being awakened throughout the night by your crying baby, dealing with an uncontrollable two-year-old “monster,” and trying to handle a mischievous child, who was always getting into trouble at school. But now comes the really hard part—coping with a rebellious, often rude and obnoxious, teenager. 
Muslim Parents: Not Immune from Teenage Problems
The teenage years have historically been a difficult period for parents in America, with very few exceptions. Struggling to find their own place in the world, teenagers often rebel against the ways of their parents. They want to experiment to find out what is best for them. And, unfortunately, Muslim parents may also face many of the same problems with their teenagers that non-Muslim families face.
Muslim children can also be tempted to drink alcohol or take drugs, be physically attracted to someone of the opposite sex in their class, skip school, or get involved in the wrong crowd.
No doubt, it will be a traumatic experience for a Muslim family to find out that their son or daughter is taking drugs, secretly going out on dates with the opposite sex, or getting in trouble with the police, but it could happen. And what if they become addicts, contract AIDS by having unmarried sex, or become a mother or father before marriage. Our great dreams for our children could suddenly turn into nightmares. It has happened to other Muslim families.
This is, of course, a very frightening thought for most parents. Some will merely say that it won’t happen to their Muslim child. But others will take action and look for ways to prevent these problems or to better handle them if they arise. 
Although no two families have exactly the same situation, there are some general guidelines for dealing with Muslim teenagers that might be useful.
We should teach them from an early age about Allah Ta’aala , the Prophets AS, the Sahabah RA, and the great heroes of Islam.
If we develop in them a love for Islam and provide them with righteous examples for their heroes, they will be much less likely to go astray. A person wants to be like his heroes. If he admires Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam, Abu Bakr Radhiyallahu Anhu, and AliRadhiyallahu Anhu, he will try to follow their example. If he admires a rock star or a gang leader, he will want to be like them. If we inspire our children with good examples, when they are tempted to do wrong, they will, InshaAllah, remember these examples and remain steadfast. 
Although I was raised as a Christian and didn’t embrace Islam until I was in my 20s, I was greatly influenced by the Biblical stories of Prophets like Nuh, Ibrahim, Musa, and Isa (Peace be upon them all). Although the Biblical stories were not in their pure form, they still inculcated in me a love and respect for the way of the Prophets. Although I fell into many of the temptations of youth, Alhamdulillah, I always felt something within me holding me back from going too far. While many of my friends went headlong into a highly destructive way of life, I believe that my knowledge of, and affection for, the Prophets helped me to return to a better path.
We must be very careful about our children’s friends
During the teenage years, children often care more about what their friends say than what their parents or elders say. According to a hadith, “Man is upon the path of his intimate friend; so let each look to whom he takes as a friend.” If our children have good, sincere, and righteous friends, the chances are good that our children will be like them. If, on the other hand, our children hang around with children who take drugs and get into trouble, our children will likely take drugs and get into trouble. 
Therefore, it is essential from an early age that we try to get our children involved with good children. One way to encourage this is by regularly taking them to the mosque (be careful not creating disturbance) or by sending them to an Islamic school where they will have the opportunity to meet and interact with Muslim children. We should be worried though if our children start hanging around with bad-mannered and disrespectful children.
We should encourage our children to participate in wholesome religious, social, and sports activities
Bored teenagers are more likely to look for fun and excitement in the wrong place. “Idle hands are the devil’s (shaytan’s) workshop,” someone once said. If teenagers’ lives are full of good and exciting things to do, they will not have the time or the desire to get involved in bad things. 
We should try to channel their teenage zeal into constructive avenues
Sometimes, teenagers begin to criticize the way of life of their parents and society, and parents are often angered by this. However, we must keep in mind that sometimes they may be right. Our lives and our society are not perfect, and teenagers may have fresh insight into how to improve them. In Living With Teenagers: A Guide for Muslim Parents, Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood writes:
“Teenagers are idealists—they want to change the world, and make it a better place. These are not bad ideals, and it is a great pity that adults have forgotten their own ideals in the rat race of daily life. You, the parent, may have ended up as just a hard-working nonentity in some quiet niche in life; a teenager who is a real idealist may end up as a famous person, a reformer, a politician, an aid worker —who knows. The future lies there before them.
It is therefore a foolish parent who tries to ridicule and trample on that young idealism. If it is consistent with Islam, it should be fervently encouraged, and not set at naught.”
If a teenager is idealistic and wants to improve the world, we should encourage him and help him. If he if full of zeal but lacks the proper direction, we should help him to use that zeal constructively. If we get teenagers involved in helping those in need and in working for important causes, their zeal could make a tremendous impact.
We should sometimes admit that we are wrong
Parents make mistakes. If we admit to our children that we are wrong at times, they will not always feel that they have to rebel against us and prove that we are wrong.
We should listen to our children
Sometimes, children act out in order to get our attention. If we give them our attention freely, they will not have to seek it in destructive ways. Also, by listening to our children, there is a greater chance that they will confide in us and ask us questions, rather than seeking answers from negative sources.
We should do what we say
Teenagers hate hypocrisy, and many of them seem to have a built-in radar for detecting it. If we want them to listen to us and take our advice, they must trust us. If we tell them not to drink, but drink ourselves, they will not respect us.
The teenage years are usually difficult, and parents need to prepare for them before they arrive. If parents have built a strong, trusting, and loving relationship with their children before the teenage years, their children will be less likely to go astray. It is very difficult to see one’s child going in the wrong direction and not know how to stop him from destroying himself. But if we work hard to instill in them the right values early and try to help them develop a wholesome lifestyle without being overbearing, perhaps we can prevent such a tragedy from ever occurring.
Categories
Miscellaneous

Teaching

image“I’ve come to a frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in the classroom.
It’s my personal approach that creates the climate.
It’s my daily mood that makes the weather.
As a teacher, I possess a tremendous power to make a child’s life miserable or joyous.
I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration.
I can humiliate or heal.
In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a child humanized or dehumanized.”

― Haim G. Ginott

teaching-wordle.jpg

Categories
Marriage

Questions to Ask Before Getting Married

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

There is no doubt marriage is becoming harder for some people. And when you go to see a potential partner you may struggle to ask the right questions. Here is a list someone sent me:

tomoko-uji-633735-unsplash(Pick and choose the right questions, obviously you are not going to ask all the questions)

MARRIAGE
1. What is your concept of marriage?

2. Have you been married before?

3. Are you married now?

4. What are your expectations of marriage?

5. Why have you chosen me/other person as a potential spouse?

6. What are your goals in life? (long and short term)

7. Identify three things that you want to accomplish in the near future.

8. Identify three things that you want to accomplish, long term.

RELIGION
9. What is the role of religion in your life now?

10. Are you a spiritual person?

11. What is your understanding of an Islamic marriage?

12. What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously?

13. What is your relationship between you and the Muslim community in your area?

14. Are you volunteering in any Islamic activities?

15. What can you offer your spouse spiritually?

16. What is the role of the husband?

17. What is the role of the wife?

18. Do you want to practice polygamy?

FAMILY
19. What is your relationship with your family?

20. What do you expect your relationship with the family of your spouse to be?

21. What do you expect your spouses relationship with your family to be?

22. Is there anyone in your family living with you now?

23. Are you planning to have anyone in your family live with you in the future?

24. If, for any reason, my relationship with your family turns sour, what should be done?

FRIENDS
25. Who are your friends? (Identify at least three.)

26. How did you get to know them?

27. Why are they your friends?

28. What do you like most about them?

29. What will your relationship with them after marriage be?

30. Do you have friends of the opposite sex?

31. What is the level of your relationship with them now?

32. What will be the level of your relationship with them after marriage?

33. What type of relationship do you want your spouse to have with your friends?

SELF
34. What are the things that you do in your free time?

35. Do you love to have guests in your home for entertainment?

36. What are you expecting from your spouse when your friends come to the house?

37. What is your opinion of speaking other languages in home that I do not understand? (with friends or family)

38. Do you travel?

39. How do you spend your vacations?

40. How do you think your spouse should spend vacations?

41. Do you read?

42. What do you read?

43. After marriage, do you think that you are one to express romantic feelings verbally?

44. After marriage, do you think that you want to express affection in public?

45. How do you express your admiration for someone that you know now?

46. How do you express your feelings to someone who has done a favour for you?

47. Do you like to write your feelings?

48. If you wronged someone, how do you apologize?

49. If someone has wronged you, how do you want she/he to apologize to you?

50. How much time passes before you can forgive someone?

51. How do you make important and less important decisions in your life?

52. Do you use foul language at home? In public? With family?

53. Do your friends use foul language?

54. Does your family use foul language?

55. How do you express anger?

56. How do you expect your spouse to express anger?

57. What do you do when you are angry?

58. When do you think it is appropriate to initiate mediation in marriage?

59. When there is a dispute in your marriage, religious or otherwise, how should the
conflict get resolved?

60. Define mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse.

61. What would you do if you felt that you had been abused?

62. Who would you call for assistance if you were being abused?

HEALTH
63. Do you suffer from any chronic disease or condition?

64. Are you willing to take a physical exam by a physician before marriage?

65. What is your understanding of proper health and nutrition?

66. How do you support your own health and nutrition?

MONEY
67. What is you definition of wealth?

68. How do you spend money?

69. How do you save money?

70. How do you think that your use of money will change after marriage?

71. Do you have any debts now? If so, how are you making progress to eliminate them?

72. Do you use credit cards?

73. Do you support the idea of taking loans to buy a new home?

74. What are you expecting from your spouse financially?

75. What is your financial responsibility in the marriage?

76. Do you support the idea of a working wife?

77. If so, how do you think a dual-income family should manage funds?

78. Do you currently use a budget to manage your finances?

79. Who are the people to whom you are financially responsible?

80. Do you support the idea of utilizing baby sitters and/or maids?

CHILDREN
81. Do you want to have children? If not, why?

82. To the best of your understanding, are you able to have children?

83. Do you want to have children in the first two years of marriage? If not, when?

84. Do you believe in abortion?

85. Do you have children now?

86. What is your relationship with your children now?

87. What is your relationship with their other parent?

88. What relationship do you expect your spouse to have with your children and their parent?

89. What is the best method(s) of raising children?

90. What is the best method(s) of disciplining children?

91. How were you raised?

92. How were you disciplined?

93. Do you believe in spanking children? Under what circumstances?

94. Do you believe in public school for your children?

95. Do you believe in Islamic school for your children?

96. Do you believe in home schooling for your children?

97. What type of relationship should your children have with non-Muslim classmates/friends?

98. Would you send your children to visit their extended family if they lived in another state or country?

99. What type of relationship do you want your children to have with all their grandparents?

RELATIVES
100. If there are members of my family that are not Muslim, that are of different race or culture, what type of relationship do you want to have with them?

I will also add the istikhara dua, to pray after two rak’at nafl salah:

isti

Where the words “Hathal amr” appear twice (underlined) think of the matter you are asking for.