بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Teenage Years: Most Difficult for the Parents

“I never asked to be born!”
“Stop trying to control my life!”
“I hate you!”

You thought you were over the hard part—changing diapers and being awakened throughout the night by your crying baby, dealing with an uncontrollable two-year-old “monster,” and trying to handle a mischievous child, who was always getting into trouble at school. But now comes the really hard part—coping with a rebellious, often rude and obnoxious, teenager.

Muslim Parents: Not Immune from Teenage Problems

The teenage years have historically been a difficult period for parents in America, with very few exceptions. Struggling to find their own place in the world, teenagers often rebel against the ways of their parents. They want to experiment to find out what is best for them. And, unfortunately, Muslim parents may also face many of the same problems with their teenagers that non-Muslim families face.

Muslim children can also be tempted to drink alcohol or take drugs, be physically attracted to someone of the opposite sex in their class, skip school, or get involved in the wrong crowd.

No doubt, it will be a traumatic experience for a Muslim family to find out that their son or daughter is taking drugs, secretly going out on dates with the opposite sex, or getting in trouble with the police, but it could happen. And what if they become addicts, contract AIDS by having unmarried sex, or become a mother or father before marriage. Our great dreams for our children could suddenly turn into nightmares. It has happened to other Muslim families.

This is, of course, a very frightening thought for most parents. Some will merely say that it won’t happen to their Muslim child. But others will take action and look for ways to prevent these problems or to better handle them if they arise.

Although no two families have exactly the same situation, there are some general guidelines for dealing with Muslim teenagers that might be useful.

We should teach them from an early age about Allah Ta’aala , the Prophets AS, the Sahabah RA, and the great heroes of Islam.

If we develop in them a love for Islam and provide them with righteous examples for their heroes, they will be much less likely to go astray. A person wants to be like his heroes. If he admires Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam, Abu Bakr Radhiyallahu Anhu, and AliRadhiyallahu Anhu, he will try to follow their example. If he admires a rock star or a gang leader, he will want to be like them. If we inspire our children with good examples, when they are tempted to do wrong, they will, InshaAllah, remember these examples and remain steadfast.

Although I was raised as a Christian and didn’t embrace Islam until I was in my 20s, I was greatly influenced by the Biblical stories of Prophets like Nuh, Ibrahim, Musa, and Isa (Peace be upon them all). Although the Biblical stories were not in their pure form, they still inculcated in me a love and respect for the way of the Prophets. Although I fell into many of the temptations of youth, Alhamdulillah, I always felt something within me holding me back from going too far. While many of my friends went headlong into a highly destructive way of life, I believe that my knowledge of, and affection for, the Prophets helped me to return to a better path.

We must be very careful about our children’s friends

During the teenage years, children often care more about what their friends say than what their parents or elders say. According to a hadith, “Man is upon the path of his intimate friend; so let each look to whom he takes as a friend.” If our children have good, sincere, and righteous friends, the chances are good that our children will be like them. If, on the other hand, our children hang around with children who take drugs and get into trouble, our children will likely take drugs and get into trouble.

Therefore, it is essential from an early age that we try to get our children involved with good children. One way to encourage this is by regularly taking them to the mosque (be careful not creating disturbance) or by sending them to an Islamic school where they will have the opportunity to meet and interact with Muslim children. We should be worried though if our children start hanging around with bad-mannered and disrespectful children.

We should encourage our children to participate in wholesome religious, social, and sports activities

Bored teenagers are more likely to look for fun and excitement in the wrong place. “Idle hands are the devil’s (shaytan’s) workshop,” someone once said. If teenagers’ lives are full of good and exciting things to do, they will not have the time or the desire to get involved in bad things.

We should try to channel their teenage zeal into constructive avenues

Sometimes, teenagers begin to criticize the way of life of their parents and society, and parents are often angered by this. However, we must keep in mind that sometimes they may be right. Our lives and our society are not perfect, and teenagers may have fresh insight into how to improve them. In Living With Teenagers: A Guide for Muslim Parents, Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood writes:

“Teenagers are idealists—they want to change the world, and make it a better place. These are not bad ideals, and it is a great pity that adults have forgotten their own ideals in the rat race of daily life. You, the parent, may have ended up as just a hard-working nonentity in some quiet niche in life; a teenager who is a real idealist may end up as a famous person, a reformer, a politician, an aid worker —who knows. The future lies there before them.

It is therefore a foolish parent who tries to ridicule and trample on that young idealism. If it is consistent with Islam, it should be fervently encouraged, and not set at naught.”

If a teenager is idealistic and wants to improve the world, we should encourage him and help him. If he if full of zeal but lacks the proper direction, we should help him to use that zeal constructively. If we get teenagers involved in helping those in need and in working for important causes, their zeal could make a tremendous impact.

We should sometimes admit that we are wrong

Parents make mistakes. If we admit to our children that we are wrong at times, they will not always feel that they have to rebel against us and prove that we are wrong.

We should listen to our children

Sometimes, children act out in order to get our attention. If we give them our attention freely, they will not have to seek it in destructive ways. Also, by listening to our children, there is a greater chance that they will confide in us and ask us questions, rather than seeking answers from negative sources.

We should do what we say

Teenagers hate hypocrisy, and many of them seem to have a built-in radar for detecting it. If we want them to listen to us and take our advice, they must trust us. If we tell them not to drink, but drink ourselves, they will not respect us.

The teenage years are usually difficult, and parents need to prepare for them before they arrive. If parents have built a strong, trusting, and loving relationship with their children before the teenage years, their children will be less likely to go astray. It is very difficult to see one’s child going in the wrong direction and not know how to stop him from destroying himself. But if we work hard to instill in them the right values early and try to help them develop a wholesome lifestyle without being overbearing, perhaps we can prevent such a tragedy from ever occurring.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Praise be to Allah.

Zamzam is the name of a famous well in al-Masjid al-Haraam [the Sacred Mosque in Makkah], which is thirty-eight cubits away from the Ka’bah. It is the well of Ismaa’eel the son of Ibraheem (peace and blessings of Allah be upon them both), from which Allah quenched the thirst of Ismaa’eel when he was an infant. His mother looked for water for him, but could not find any. She climbed to the top of al-Safaa, praying to Allah to help her and give her water for Ismaa’eel, then she climbed to the top of al-Marwah and did the same. Allah sent Jibreel, and he struck the earth with his heels, and water appeared.

‘Abbas ibn ‘Abd al-Muttalib رضي الله عنه said: “The people used to compete over Zamzam during the time of Jahiliyyah. People who had children used to bring them and give them to drink, and this was their early-morning victuals. We used to used to think that it was a help for people who had children.” Al-‘Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him): “During the Jaahiliyyah, Zamzam was known as Shabaa’ah (satisfaction).”

Imam Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “Zamzam water is the best and noblest of all waters, the highest in status, the dearest to people, the most precious and valuable to them. It was dug by Jibreel and is the water with which Allah quenched the thirst of Isma’eel.”

It was reported in Saheeh Muslim that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to Abu Dhar رضي الله عنه who had stayed near the Ka’bah and its coverings for forty days and nights with no food or drink other than (Zamzam): “How long have you been here?” Abu Dharr رضي الله عنه: “I have been here for thirty days and nights.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “Who has been feeding you?” He said, “I have had nothing but Zamzam water, and I have gotten so fat that I have folds of fat on my stomach. I do not feel any of the tiredness or weakness of hunger and I have not become thin.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Verily, it is blessed, it is food that nourishes.” (Narrated by Imam Muslim, 2473).

Other scholars added, with their own isnads, “… and a healing for sickness.” This was narrated by al-Bazzaar (1171, 1172) and al-Tabarani in al-Sagheer (295). In Sunan Ibn Maajah (al-Manasik, 3062) it was reported from Jabir ibn ‘Abd-Allah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The water of Zamzam is for whatever it is drunk for.”

The Salaf and ‘ulama’ acted upon this Hadeeth. When ‘Abd-Allah ibn al-Mubarak (Allah have mercy upon him) went for Hajj, he came to Zamzam and said, “O Allah! Ibn Abi’l-Mawali told us from Muhammad ibn al-Munkadir from Jabir رضي الله عنه Your Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, ‘The water of Zamzam is for whatever it is drunk for.’ I am drinking it to ward off thirst on the Day of Resurrection.” Ibn Abi’l-Mawali is thiqah (trustworthy) so the hadeeth is hasan (good).

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said:“Myself and others tried seeking healing with Zamzam water and saw wondrous things. I sought healing with it from a number of illnesses, and I was healed by the permission of Allah. I saw someone who nourished himself with it for a number of days, half a month or more, and he did not feel hunger; he performed Tawaf along with the other people just as they did. And he told me that he consumed nothing but Zamzam water for forty days and he had the strength to have intercourse with his wife, to fast and to perform Tawaf numerous times.” Zaad al-Ma’ad, 4/319, 320.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah preserve him) said:

“So you should have the intention of what you want to gain by drinking this water. He should drink his fill, i.e., fill his stomach with it until it is filled to the ribs, because this water is good. A hadeeth has been narrated concerning this: the difference between the believers and the hypocrites is drinking one’s fill of Zamzam water.” (Narrated by Ibn Majah in al-Manasik, 1017; al-Hakim, 1/472). Imam Al-Boosairi RH said: this is a saheeh isnaad; its men are mawthooqoon [trustworthy].

This is because Zamzam water is not sweet; it is somewhat salty, and the believer only drinks this somewhat salty water out of faith, believing that there is barakah (blessing) in it. So when he drinks his fill of it, this is a sign of faith. (Sharh al-Mumti’, 7/377, 378, 379).

Perhaps Allah did not make it sweet so that people would not forget that the meaning of drinking it is an act of worship. Whatever the case, its taste is fine and there is nothing wrong with it. We ask Allah to quench our thirst from the Cistern (al-Hawd) of His Prophet on the Day of the greatest thirst. May Allah bless our Prophet Muhammad SAW. Ameen.

The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) described this water itself as: “It is blessed, it (even) serves as food.” Narrated by Muslim (2473). According to a report narrated by al-Bazzar, at-Tabarani, al-Bayhaqi and others, there is the addition, “and a healing for sickness.” See as-Sunan al-Kubra (5/147).

The apparent meaning of the evidence, in sha Allah, is that this barakah is general and applies to all Zamzam water, whether it is in Makkah or has been taken to other countries. Therefore more than one of the scholars said that it is permitted to take Zamzam water out of Makkah and that its barakah and specific characteristics remain even after it has been taken elsewhere.

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “Whoever takes any Zamzam water elsewhere, it is permissible; the salaf used to take it elsewhere.”

Imam As-Sawi al-Maliki (may Allah have mercy on him) said: It is recommended to take it – meaning Zamzam water – elsewhere, and its specific characteristics remain, contrary to the claim of those who say that it loses its specific characteristics. End quote.

Haashiyat as-Saawi ‘ala ash-Sharh as-Sagheer (2/44). Something similar is stated in Minah al-Jaleel Sharh Mukhtasar Khaleel (2/273)

Shaykh ‘Ali ash-Shibraamilsi ash-Shafa‘i (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The words “Zamzam water is for that for which it is drunk” include those who drink it anywhere other than in its location. End quote. Hashiyat Nihayat al-Muhtaj (3/318)

It is sunnah to drink one’s fill of Zamzam water and to quench one’s thirst.

The fuqaha’ have mentioned the etiquette that is mustahab (recommended) when drinking Zamzam water, such as facing the Ka’bah, saying Bismillah, pausing to take a breath three times, drinking one’s fill, praising Allaah after one finishes, and sitting whilst drinking it, as one should do when drinking other kinds of drinks. As regards the hadeeth of Ibn ‘Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him), who said, “I gave the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) Zamzam water to drink whilst he was standing,” (reported by al-Bukhari, 3/492), it is taken to mean that it is permissible to drink whilst standing, and the disapproval of doing so is understood to mean that it is makrooh. The scholars also recommended that the person who drinks Zamzam water should sprinkle some of it on his head, face and chest, make lots of du’aa’ when drinking it, and to drink it for a purpose that will benefit him in this world or the next, because of the hadeeth in which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The water of Zamzam is for whatever purpose it is drunk for.” (Reported by Ibn Maajah, 2/1018; see Al-Maqasid al-Hasanah by al-Sakhaawi, p. 359).

It was reported that when Ibn ‘Abbas رضي الله عنه from the water of Zamzam, he said: “O Allah, I ask you for beneficial knowledge, plentiful provision and healing from every disease.”

Al-Daynoori (may Allah have mercy on him) that al-Humaydi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “We were with Sufyan ibn ‘Uyaynah (may Allah have mercy on him), and he told us the hadeeth about the water of Zamzam being drunk for whatever purpose it is drunk for. A man got up and left the gathering, then he came back and said, ‘O Abu Muhammad, is the hadeeth which you told us about the water of Zamzam saheeh?’ He said, ‘Yes.’ The man said, ‘Just now I drank a bucket of Zamzam so that you would tell me one hundred hadeeths.’ Sufyan (may Allah have mercy on him), ‘Sit down,’ so he sat down and he told him one hundred hadeeths.”

Imam Ibn Hajar al-Haythami (may Allah have mercy on him) said in Tuhfat al-Muhtaaj (4/144): he may take it back to his homeland so as to seek healing and barakah for himself and others. End quote.

As-Sakhkhawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “Some people say that its virtue remains so long as it is still in its original place, but if it is moved elsewhere it changes. But this is something for which there is no basis. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) wrote to Suhayl ibn ‘Amr telling him: If my letter arrives at night, do not wait until morning, and if it arrives by day, do not wait until evening, before you send me some Zamzam water.”

And in the report it says that he sent him two containers; at that time he was in Madinah, before the conquest of Makkah.

This hadith is hasan because of corroborating evidence. Similarly, ‘Aa’ishah (Allah be pleased with her) used to take Zamzam water with her and she stated that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) used to do that and that he would carry it in vessels and skins, and he would pour it over the sick and give it to them to drink. If a guest came to Ibn ‘Abbas (Allah be pleased with him), he would honour him with Zamzam water. ‘Ata’ (Allah have mercy upon him) was asked about taking Zamzam water (away from Makkah, after visiting) and he said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) al-Hasan and al-Husayn (may Allah be pleased with them) used to do that.

The two angels washed the heart of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) when he was a child after they had taken it out, then they put it back. Al-Hafidh al-‘Iraqi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “The reason why the Prophet’s chest was washed with Zamzam water was to make him stronger so that he could see the kingdom of heaven and earth, and Paradise and Hell, because one of the special qualities of Zamzam is that it strengthens the heart and calms the soul. The report about the chest of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) being washed with the water of Zamzam is proven in the hadeeth of Abu Dharr رضي الله عنه, who reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “My roof was opened when I was in Makkah, and Jibreel (peace be upon him) came down and opened my chest, then he washed it with Zamzam water. Then he brought a gold basin full of wisdom and faith, poured it into my chest, and closed it up again. Then he took me by the hand and ascended with me into the first heaven.” (Reported by al-Bukhari, 3/429).

There is nothing wrong with selling Zamzam water or transporting it from Makkah.

If Zamzam water is mixed with other water, the mixture will have the barakah of Zamzam as much as the ratio of Zamzam in the water. That is because the person who drinks the mixture will inevitably drink some of the Zamzam water that has been mixed with other water, so it is true to say that he is drinking it.

10 Facts & Benefits Of Zam-Zam Water

Bismillah

1.The Story of how it came to be
This accurate account of the origin of Zamzam holds with it an exquisite message…
Hajar (Alayhis salam) made use of the small amount of food that Ibrahim (Alayhis salam) left for her and her baby, but ran out eventually and was soon thirsty and hungry-her milk dried up, her baby Ismail (Alayhis salaam) became hungry and began to cry. Hajar couldn’t afford to see her son in pain so climbed up the hill which was later called As-Safa, to see if there was anyone on the horizon. She saw no one. She then climbed down, and reaching the valley, ran to the other hill, later called Al–Marwa, doing the same again, all this time her son twisting and turning in hunger. She repeated this seven times, and on the 7^th time reached the top of the hill and heard a sound. To her amazement she found it coming from beneath the feet of Ismail (Alayhis salam).
At that point, Jibra’eel (Alayhis salaam) began digging the well of Zamzam from beneath his feet. Hajar was excited to contain the water, it being a desert and so arid and dry-the water would seep into the ground, and she tried making a pool to contain it.

The Prophet (Sallallahu alayhi wasalam) said, (Allah have mercy on the mother of Isma’eel) ”If she had left the water, (flow naturally without her intervention), it would have been flowing on the surface of the earth.”
{Sahih al-Bukhari 3365,Vol. 4, Book 55, Hadith 584}

So because of her efforts to contain the water, Zam-zam amazingly became a well.

Hajar (Allah have mercy on her) before the water was brought out of the ground, running in search, probably heart-broken and crying in pain at the suffering of her son, did not know what Allah was preserving for her in the future. If she knew that a time would come when millions from all parts of the world would follow in her footsteps, she probably may never have cried. And one can only imagine her reward in the hereafter if that were her reward in this world.

So when experiencing challenges in life, remember that Allah may be hiding something for you in your future.

2. Its Names
The names of Zam-zam are many, over 60 according to some experts and scientists, its names derived from its characteristics. Some of the familiar ones are:

Murwiya (derived from the Arabic word meaning ‘quenched’)
Shabbaa’a- (derived from ‘satisfying’)
Maymouna

3. Positive Energy
Within Zam-zam is an ingredient different to other waters, which heals and helps energetic and cell systems within the human body. The German Scientist Dr Knut Pfeiffer,and head of the largest medical centre in Munich, has studied Zam-zam with his colleague and assistant Husam Othman. A miracle in itself is that the Zam-zam specimen they studied still extraordinarily increased dramatically the energetic fields in human cells having travelled from Saudi Arabia to Munich, sustaining climate changes, probably having gone through an X-ray machine at customs, and then being stored for approximately two weeks. The opposite reaction would exhibit with other types of water especially if stagnant for some time, including water from Munich which is considered chemically pure.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The best water on the face of the earth is the water of Zamzam; it is a kind of food and a healing from sickness.” {Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3302}

4. Uncontaminated
Zam-zam has been flowing from the Ka’aba for over 4000 years. Samples taken from all water sources in the world contain some germs in it. Through studies by Doctor Yahya Koshak (expert on Zamzam), it has been proven that Zam-zam does not contain any contaminants. It is an established scientific fact that pools or water wells tend to grow vegetation such as algae– especially in warm climates. Amazingly this is not the case in the well of Zamzam. It has remained free from biological contaminations.

5. Its Purity
Evian – water from the highest part of the French Alps is renowned for its high mineral content and purity, and a high percentage of bicarbonates (357mg/l). Murwiya contains 366mg/l of bicarbonates, and is purer, in fact, the purest water on earth.

6. Healing Nature
Scientific proof shows that Zamzam contains healing components due to its higher content of calcium and magnesium salts and natural fluorides which present germicidal properties.

It was reported in Sahih Muslim that the Prophet (Sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said to Abu Dhār رضي الله عنه, who had stayed near the Ka’bah and its coverings for forty days and nights with no food or drink other than (Zamzam): “How long have you been here?” Abu Dhār رضي الله عنه, “I have been here for thirty days and nights.” The Prophet (Sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Who has been feeding you?” He said, “I have had nothing but Zamzam water, and I have gotten so fat that I have folds of fat on my stomach. I do not feel any of the tiredness or weakness of hunger and I have not become thin.” The Prophet (Sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Verily, it is blessed, it is food that nourishes.”

7. The miracle of its Origin
Mecca is built on a mass of igneous rock, and due to the process in which they form, these rocks have no pores and – due to partial melting of the minerals of which the rock comprises -cause any existing pores to close up. Science tells us that water reservoirs can only exist in rocks that are highly porous and permeable. Geologist Dr Zaghloul Al-Najjar, head of The Committee of Scientific Signs in the Quran and Sunnah states that this simple and great fact verifies the sanctity and holiness of the land.

8. Hadith substantiates its Science
Origins of the water was a mystery until tunnels were dug around Makkah, where engineers and workers found hairline fractures in the solid mass of rock that stretched for kilometres in either direction through which Zamzam was seeping out, extensive fractures which could only be caused by a mighty impact. Sunnah states that it’s because of the strong blow with which Jibra’eel Alayhis salam struck the earth that Isma’eel Alayhis salaam was able to drink.
The well isn’t that deep, 30 metres in fact of which 13 metres or a little less are filled with compressed sediments from the valley which don’t allow water to flow out. Below this is about 17 metres of igneous rock through which the water flows through these long hairline fractures in the rock, where it gains its high mineral content beneficial to both the body and soul of man.

9. It Manifests for what it is Drunk

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The water of Zamzam is for whatever it is drunk for.”
{Narrated by Ibn Majah, 3062}

This is a hasan hadeeth. A myriad of cases exist that testify to the healing nature of Zam-zam. Drinking Zamzam with the sincere intention of fulfilling a need, such as healing a physical ailment, being freed from poverty or distress, even achieving calm in the wake of any type of anxiety, gives way to Allah fulfilling these needs. One could continue drinking it until one is completely healed.

The Prophet (Sallallahu alayhi wasalam) used to wash his chest with Zamzam to gain courage and relieve anxiety through Allah’s grace, before visiting the heavens; he would drink it and use it for Wudhu.

10. Water fasting.
Water fasting isn’t something new and has even been done during the time of the Prophet (Sallallahu alayhi wasalam). Revisit the hadith in point 6:

It was reported in Sahih Muslim that the Prophet (Sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said to Abu Dhār (Allah be pleased with him), who had stayed near the Ka’bah and its coverings for forty days and nights with no food or drink other than (Zamzam): “How long have you been here?” Abu Dhār (Allah be pleased with him) said, “I have been here for thirty days and nights.” The Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, “Who has been feeding you?” He said, “I have had nothing but Zamzam water, and I have gotten so fat that I have folds of fat on my stomach. I do not feel any of the tiredness or weakness of hunger and I have not become thin.” The Prophet, Sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, “Verily, it is blessed, it is food that nourishes.” {Narrated by Imam Muslim, 2473}

Some of the positive benefits of a 48 hour Zamzam fast are an increase in the number of blood platelets and increased immunity through an increase in white blood cells, as well as a detoxifying effect on the body. Murwiya (Zam-zam) also increases haemoglobin levels, which result in increased energy levels. Testimonials state that these fasts eradicate morning breath, and hunger pangs, also providing a noticeable nourishing effect on the body.

References
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VonRItb61sw
http://www.youmuslim.com/video/40975/dr-knut-pfeiffer-islam%20s-zamzam-water-positive-effect-on-human-cells/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHm2y1mpTLw
“The Book of Zam Zam”, by Doctor Yahya Koshak
http://islamqa.info/en/6831

Authored by Sister “M”
Edited by Noorain Fathima