Tag: truth

Categories
Muslim women

The Role of Women in Society

Written by Anonymous 

Sisters, your role in society is like the role of the archers in the battle of Uhud.

They were not at the forefront or in the thick of the action, 

BUT they held the most important position. They guarded the army. If they moved, the whole army would be uncovered and defeated. 

In the same way, if you leave your most important position, you leave the army-the Ummah uncovered.

You are the silent heroes,

You are the foundational structure of great generations,

You are the mothers who look after the family,

You are the first of the teachers of this Ummah,

You are the ones who teach the Muslim men courage, truthfulness, kindness, perseverance, and patience.

You are the carers of the men of this Ummah.

The success of this Ummah lies upon your shoulders. ﷲ͜عَزَّوَجَــــل states that a woman’s primary abode is her home. This does not mean she plays no role in society. She is like the engine of a car hidden in the bonnet. Everything in the car is meaningless without the engine. 

The engine being concealed does not mean it is insignificant. In fact, being concealed reveals its real value.

A woman is like a live wire tucked away.

 If it is exposed it will shock people. It is concealed yet provides the current for electricity. 

A woman is like the battery in a mobile phone.

All the features of the mobile phone mean nothing if the battery is not there. It is concealed but provides the main function. Being concealed and doing what ﷲ͜عَزَّوَجَــــل wants you to do reveals the real value of women.

1 Muharram 1444

Categories
Muslim men Muslim women

Deception: Study of Shaytan.

Deception: Study of Shaytan.

And I want to share with you one of his most continuous tricks.

فَوَسْوَسَ إِلَيْهِ الشَّيْطَانُ قَالَ يَا آدَمُ هَلْ أَدُلُّكَ عَلَىٰ شَجَرَةِ الْخُلْدِ وَمُلْكٍ لَّا يَبْلَىٰ“

Then Shayṭān whispered to him; he said, ‘O Ādam, shall I direct you to the tree of eternity and possession that will not deteriorate?’” [20:120] 

You see, Iblis is a master of distorting reality. The tree that Allah had commanded them to not come near, was now being called the tree of eternity.
Iblīs will either take the goodness and make it appear as evil or take evil and make it appear as something good. In this case, Iblīs is taking something evil and making it appear as something good. The evils in society are given a positive name and as a result, we may accept it. Shayṭān will make Zina look enticing and call it making love. Iblīs makes people think about sexual freedom and not think that it is a big deal to have sex outside of marriage. We see the effects in our society: divorce, single parents raising kids, STDs, etc.


Iblīs will never remind you of these things. Iblīs deceives people into thinking things are good. He will get people to label each other. When you label someone, you can distort reality very easily. You turn people into caricatures and stereotypes and then can attack the stereotype irrespective if that is actually true of the person you are addressing. It is one of the tricks he uses most frequently.

Categories
Ruqya

10 Misconceptions About Ruqya/Jinn/Jadoo

1. “I pray my Salah and Manzil, then trust Allah. Nothing can harm me! Why would I need Ruqya?”

A simple answer for such people is that the Prophet PBUH also prayed Salah and read the Qur’an, rather the Qur’an was revealed upon him. Despite such noble piety, He PBUH was still affected by jinn/jadoo for six months and wasn’t aware (some scholars say even longer). Salah and Qur’an/Manzil are the best forms of protection, they do help, but a person can still be affected by nazar and jinn etc.

NB: We do not stop anyone from reading Manzil and general Qur’an as this does help immensely if someone casts evil eye on you despite your Salah and Qur’an it will only affect you 20%-30%, because you have a certain amount of protection.

2. “I went for Ruqya once it didn’t make a difference, black magic never really goes away.”

This is a statement we hear often because people have unrealistic expectations from Raqis. They want us to fix all their life problems, marriage, kids, work, house and maybe get us that fancy new car too?? And when those expectations are not met it leads to disappointment and frustration.

Secondly, Ruqya is never a one-time fix, this is the biggest mistake people make because most people need a few sessions.

Thirdly, patience is needed. It takes time for these things to heal. A person can have black magic for 10 years and expects it to go in a day or a week? Even medical doctors can’t cure cancer in a week.

You don’t change GPs every week, in a like manner don’t go to one Raqi today, another one next week, then try Taweez in India, by February you’re on Chinese herbal medicine and then back to anti-depressants. Stick to one method for at least 6 months, if it doesn’t work go to someone else, but do regular treatment.

3. “Ruqya is soo expensive and they tell you to drink Zamzam regularly also expensive, and buy Ajwa dates even more expensive! Ruqya is a rip-off!!”

Money means a lot to us all, we all value and love our money, but do we love our health? Mental and physical health… that’s what it boils down to. If you value your health, you will spend the money you spend all your life earning to save that health. But not everyone does, and nobody admits it.

Dear brother and dear sister, have you ever contemplated the amount of money you spend on takeaways/restaurants. The amount brothers spend on cigarettes and shisha. The amount sisters spend on make-up and handbags? Shoes? None of the above save your health! Cut down on these and save £20 for Zamzam/Ajwa… I’m not an accountant, but you can do the maths, we happily spend on futile things because shaytan loves to mislead us.

Ruqya is expensive and the reason is the nature of the field and the risks we take to do this job. It’s not easy and it’s not ABC, don’t compare us to a dentist or optician who opens at 9 am and closes at 5 pm. Raqis have to do so many things in the background to protect themselves to treat you, it also affects their family and house. Not to mention the backlash from doing Ruqya which comes in many forms.

But we must apply the ‘common sense rule’. If someone is charging in the 100s, then Shariah says use your Aqal and run, as you run from a lion. Don’t get conned! 

Look for those who have decent and reasonable prices, bearing in mind those who run from clinics have rent to pay (costs add up). I’m only explaining, not justifying. 

Again, I will say, I rarely hear people complain about dentists and opticians who have high rates! Private health care rips your wallet, arm, and leg off…

4. “I’ve heard these guys are all bogus, they make stories up. And it’s all money-making!”

Nobody likes stereotypes. Nobody. But we all get angry and emotional at some point in our lives and blurt a few things hidden in our minds, because of our bad experiences. You are allowed to have bad experiences and even talk about them, just don’t generalise. The word ‘all’ is dangerous, especially when it’s due to the actions of a few individuals.

The police are meant to protect us and uphold the law, often they break the law. There are corrupt police officers, does that mean all coppers are bent? #LoD

Teachers are meant to educate our children in school and madrasah, many teachers abuse our children, physically and sexually. Do you still send your children to school or do you generalise? 

Doctors are meant to save our lives, but many doctors have killed their patients. Have you stopped going to the hospital?

My point is every sector has a few rotten apples, but you can’t say that everyone is the same. You get genuine people in the world and corrupt people, we need to look for genuine Raqis.

I have never denied the fact that there are fake healers, even in the Taweez/Aamil world. Don’t look at social media and YouTube, everyone looks good on there! Sisters particularly need to be careful as these predators often target vulnerable women. Always go with a mahram and ask questions if you have doubts about their diagnosis, don’t be bamboozled.

5. “Isn’t there a Hadith to the nearest effect, 70,000 people will enter Jannah without accountability on Qiyamah. One group is those who don’t seek Ruqya.”

The Hadith is correct, but like with most Hadith they need interpretation and commentary, they shouldn’t be taken literally, otherwise, it can cause confusion (generally speaking not just for Ruqya). There are Hadith that the Prophet PBUH urinated standing up? Do we follow such Hadith?

The different meanings of the “one who did not seek ruqya.”

1. There are certain pious individuals who have 100% reliance on Allah SWT and they never turn to the creation for help, like the Prophets AS and the Sahabah RA and even in the general public we have the Saints of Allah, they shouldn’t seek Ruqya as it goes against their tawakkul.

2. They do not ask anyone for Ruqya until the affliction happens, some individuals who panic seek Ruqya before the affliction, this is incorrect. 

3. They believe Allah cures not the Raqi, so their belief is correct.

4. They refrain from shirk in their Ruqya, like the Ruqya in pre-Islamic times.

5. They try Ruqya or treatment themselves first then seek it from others. Self-Ruqya is important, to learn and teach it to others.

These are the answers given by Shaykh Khalid Hibshi, KSA

6. “I believe my issues are mental health or even medical. I don’t need Ruqya, because I don’t believe in jinn/jadoo.”

An increasing issue, especially in Europe and the West, where Mental Health issues are accepted and Jinn/Jadoo issues are rejected, denied and marginalized. So where is the balance and correlation between them all? We, as Muslims should believe in Mental Health, it’s a growing reality. Our lifestyle, our diet, and the fast-moving technology are usually the causes.

As for believing in Ruqya and Jinn/Jadoo, be careful before you get your defense shield up. Ruqya is reciting verses of the Qur’an and the treatment is everything mentioned in the Hadith. There is a Surah in the Qur’an called ‘Surah Jinn’. The Prophet PBUH and many of the Sahabah RA were affected by Black Magic. To deny the above is a major sin, and we need to watch our words before we deny them haphazardly. 

It is mainly men who deny these things and even some scholars are negative towards jinn/jadoo issues (wait for day 10 and the reality of Ulama/Imams).

To believe in one thing you don’t need to deny another, to believe in mental health (because you suffered) doesn’t mean you deny jinn/Jadoo. But I’ll be honest, I do feel mental health is overrated, everything is mental health nowadays! Especially with the millennial kids and millennial parents, they don’t believe in jinn/Jadoo as much. The reason is the secular society we live in, the NHS and Media promote Mental Health massively. Well, my answer is My Nabi and My Allah promote jinn/Jadoo issues far more, it is endorsed in the Qur’an and Hadith. We do believe in mental health but mental health doesn’t believe in us.

Many people suffering from jinn/jadoo will suffer mental health issues and vice versa, jinn/jadoo can be a contributing factor in mental health and medical issues. Ruqya has helped people who suffer from Anxiety, Depression, Severe Migraines, even in cases of Cancer Ruqya has helped. Some were given ‘all clear’ and others said Ruqya helped with (the pain of) Chemo. That doesn’t mean we deny medical issues, it just endorses what Allah SWT has said, “The Quran is Shifa.” If doctors and medical experts know everything and cure all, why are soo many people still suffering day and night pills after pills;

CT scan = Clear.

MRI = Clear.

X-ray = Clear.

But they are still in pain and agony? Please do explain.

7. “I’ve had soo much Ruqya done, been to a dozen Raqis. Why am I not getting better? Why doesn’t it go away?”

Some people don’t get better and don’t see major improvements, there are reasons for this: i) People don’t act upon the advice we give them. They don’t pray salah and manzil, let alone surah baqarah (which is long). Men don’t go to the masjid, sisters don’t want to cover up and wear hijab, how on earth will you get better? Apart from a miracle…

ii) Sihr/Jadoo can be repeated. Just like Covid-19, you can get it once and you can get it twice (some have had it thrice). You can also get jadoo again, because the people doing it repeat it. Hence, I say never give up Manzil and Surah Baqarah, keep drinking Ruqya water, and use olive oil regularly. Most people become complacent once they see signs of improvement. 

iii) The one doing Black Magic is close to you. Nobody likes to hear that, but often true. I don’t suggest accusing people, but the worst cases for us are when the perpetrators of Sihr are family members. Hence they keep feeding you and you lose all spirituality and religiosity.

Food is the strongest source of Black Magic, they feed you by mixing it in your food (usually sweet things, cakes, biscuits, or tea). The food enters your body, flows through your blood, eventually, you are fully ‘jadoofied’. A man’s whole personality can change, good men/women can become bitter and evil, harsh and arrogant. 

If you find the concept hard why a family member would do jadoo, father on his own son? Wife on her own husband? One word: control. Control is what everyone craves, but not everyone gets it. Black Magic will give you that control (temporarily), and hellfire (permanently).

8. “You treated my brother who got better instantly, but I am not seeing results despite praying manzil regularly and reading surah baqarah etc.”

Yaqeen and conviction is an important aspect of Islam, it makes all the difference in treatment (medical or spiritual). Even if you take a paracetamol your belief should be Allah SWT cures, not the tablet. If you come for Ruqya you need to believe Allah SWT cures, not the Raqi. The higher the level of Yaqeen the quicker the ilaaj.

Two people can come for Ruqya with different mind-sets and see different results. Many come to ‘test’ us and see if it works. Totally wrong mindset, such people need to stick to MOT testing and not test the words of Allah SWT. If you are cured, Allah SWT cured you and if you weren’t cured there is a deficiency somewhere. 

One of the greatest things I have learnt from Ruqya is trust in Allah SWT, hope in Him, and being optimistic about Allah SWT in all situations. It’s a real test of your Imaan. “I am as my servants think of me” (Hadith Qudsi). Think good of Allah SWT and the results are amazing!

One of the best clips on Husne Dhann with Allah SWT for Arabic listeners.

A line from the clip, “One of the pious predecessors used to say, even if Allah SWT enters me into the Hellfire, I will still tell the people of Hell: I love Allah SWT!”

Subhan Allah! Despite being entered into Hell, to still say I love Allah (because He is fair) is real love and optimism. Allah grant us a share of it. Ameen.

9. “I have heard Raqis don’t like Aamils and people who do Taweez, is this true? Because they say all Taweez are shirk!”

There is a hadith that states ‘amulets/taweez are shirk’, but there is also a hadith (which nobody quotes) that states ‘Ruqya is shirk’. As always, Hadith need interpretation and commentary. The answer to both Hadith is that those amulets which contain the words of Shirk and associating partners with Allah SWT are Shirk. The same applies to Ruqya of jahiliyya/pre-Islam which contains Shirk is not allowed.

Taweez is a grey area though and we need to be careful what sort of taweez we use. If it is clear and legible, then good, if it is a Qur’an ayah you know, then okay. But if you don’t know what it says in the taweez, avoid it like the plague. Why risk it?

Many taweez have been opened to find hair and blood inside. Others had the names of Shaytan and pictures of Shaytan. Hence, we always promote Ruqya which is clear and Qur’anic, it makes sense. The method of treatment is found in the Sunnah. Why have cotton when you can have silk?

As for the hatred, Taweez vs. Ruqya, I have never been intimidated by anyone who does Taweez, Alhumdu Lillah. But I am not sure about the other way round. I have heard many Aamils who spread all sorts of rumours about Raqis, it’s like we are stepping on their toes! If what they do is “kosher” why do they panic when someone starts Ruqya? 

Why the use of such adjectives like “dodgy mawlana” or “Magician molsab”? Carry on with what you do silently… but ruqya does damage for some of them, because their works are far, far from kosher. It is the work of Shaytan! Black magic comes from somewhere…

And often that somewhere are Peers and Mawlanas who sell Taweez containing shirk and black magic. People who do Black Magic don’t sit in a castle dressed in black with a cat and cauldron, that’s Harry Potter! In real life, they are our own scholars making millions of dollars. Be warned!

The truth is always bitter, but bitter medicine has always proven to cure faster than any other. And remember half these stories you get from Aamils are absolutely bogus, many claim to keep jinns for info, even that is questionable whether their jinns exist? But people love to hear their fascinating stories!

10. “I recently went to a counsellor with my husband, the counsellor is also an Alim. We talked about jinn/jadoo issues to which he replied, “shut that topic down, no such thing! 99% of these jinn/jadoo issues are just mental health!”

The best to the last… Ulama and jinn/jadoo issues! First and foremost, we need to understand scholars are scholars, not God! They study in Darul Uloom for 6/7 years to give them “training” in Qur’an/Hadith.

I choose my words carefully, ‘training’, they don’t qualify to know everything. Then they’re told to further their studies on their own or specialise in specific fields. But the majority don’t, many don’t even know Qur’an and Hadith properly let alone specialise in something, let alone know about Mental Health and Jinn/Jadoo issues. Just like this scholar mentioned above. When I put on my trench coat and glasses, I realised he also works in a school? Imagine how many people he is misleading because of his arrogance! You know I will always challenge these molvis… so I called him and gave a plethora of evidence, hadhrat jee put the phone down! I apologised for hurting his ego.

For years, I wondered and wandered through different avenues to work out why soo many Ulama are against Ruqya and negative towards jinn/jadoo issues. 

Once I listened to a talk relating the story of Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal RH, in his time someone came and said, “O Imam! Fulan ibn Fulan denies the issue of jinn!” Imam Ahmad RH: “This is the Shaytan talking on his tongue.” This meaning shaytan will target ulama/imams and misguide them, to mislead the masses, there is plenty of evidence for this. It is important for ulama to have protection against sihr/jinn.

We will always reach out to Ulama who are wrong and correct them, there is no harm. It is better than gheebat-ing, especially in a dars of hadith. That’s right, even senior scholars can be corrected. Recently, our intel told us a senior Shaykhul Hadith sat in a lesson of Bukhari blasting Ruqya and blasting me! What was my sin? Educating people on Black Magic and Ruqya.

Subhan Allah! It’s a shame ulama don’t have the courage to ring me or tell me to my face, especially when I’m not doing anything wrong…  these are the elders we are told to respect since we were small. I wonder if they are elders or oldies?

Ismail ibn Nazir Satia (one who is in dire need of Allah’s forgiveness, mercy and pleasure).

1 Jamadul Thani 1443

Categories
Marriage

Love Notes – Part 1

Love Notes –  Shaykh Yahya Ibrahim, Australia

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

love notes

  • A study looked at Muslim couples who get divorced:
  • Shaykh mentioned 68% of couples in the UK will divorce in the first 3 years of marriage.
    ○ Most of those who got divorced are educated
    ○ Many of them had the kind of jobs, where they intervene to defuse conflict
    ● The intent of the course is to speak about love to Muslims from a philosophical perspective
    ● We will talk about what makes you, you?
    ○ What does Islam offer, to make you the best of you
    ● Look at the words that are used to describe marriage and love in Islam
    ○ Imam Ibn Hazm coined the word soul mate – the first time westerners saw that a soul can love another soul

○ Imam Ibn Qayim RH has a book called Rawdat Al Muhibeen
○ Ibn Ul Jawzi RH – Said if a man does not know how to love, he should eat hay, because he’s a donkey
○ Muslims saw that we should cling onto one another and love one another so we can become khulafah on the earth → so that children can receive the earth in a way that is better than the way that we received it, that is the concept of khulafah
● There is no book of hadith that does not mention the love between the Prophet SAW and his wives
○ The year that Khadijah RA died, became the year of sadness
○ The Prophet SAW is a role model
● What the poster doesn’t show
○ Doesn’t show what’s behind them
● When the Prophet SAW talks about marriage, he says it’s half of your deen
○ You actualize a lot of the characteristics of Islam during your relationship with your spouse
○ The money that a man spends on his family is “sadaqah” [Muslim]

  • When you say the shahadah, it has conditions,
    ○ You begin to learn the importance of Allah when you gather knowledge [ilm]
    ○ The second step is [yaqeen] certainty
    ○ That leads you to [inqiyad] submission, which leads you to practice, in the way that Allah swt requested
    ○ Number 5 is [sidq] to be more truthful with Allah swt
    ○ and that leads you to [Ikhlas], having enough, other than Allah, put all my trust to
    ○ Last level, is love [hob] → you begin loving Allah too much to miss prayer.
    ● Love is the last level of worship, and some people worship things that they should, Allah doesn’t say worship he says love “yohiboonahu ka hob illah”
  • ‘Uboodiya (worship) → anything Allah loves for you to do, whether it is a word you say, an action you do, or a feeling in your heart
    ● We are not here just to talk about romance, we are here to talk about love, loving your dad, your mom, your country.

Definitions

● The origin for the word “husband” or “spouse” is very different in English and Qur’anic Arabic
● Husbandry: “convincing a bull to sire a cow”
● Other words for “spouse” in the Quran
زَ وج ■
● [2:35]
● two distinct, unique individuals that upon joining, become one so you don’t see the seam between them.
ِلبَاس ■
● [2:187]
● your inner intimate garment is called libas; nobody is as close to you as that garment
● “libas ul harb” the armour of war, she is the shield from the dunya
َصا ِحبَة ■
● 42 words for love in the Arabic language
● Sahib: the one that walks with you for life
■
ن
قُ رةَ أَ ْعُي
● [25:74]
● “fills the eyes of your husband”
● “there is no provision greater than that of a righteous woman. She is a women that when a husband sees her, he feels happiness in the heart” [Muslim]
ِحصن ■
● She’s your fortress, palace, castle
● You are the moat that surrounds her
بَعِلي ■
● [11:72]
● “My spring/fountain of all good”
● He is the one that showers me with good, with his words, his wealth, etc
● That is how Sarah describes Ibrahim (AS)
● He created the heavens and earth in truth. He wraps the night over the day and wraps the day over the night and has subjected the sun and the moon, each running [its course] for a specified term. Unquestionably, He is the Exalted in Might, the Perpetual Forgiver. He created you from one soul. Then He made from it its mate… [39:5-6]
○ When Allah talks about all these dualities (heavens/earth, night/day, sun/moon), He inserts one singularity: one soul.
○ when you get married, you’re two separate entities that come together from one pairing

So exalted is Allah when you reach the evening and when you reach the morning. And
to Him is [due all] praise throughout the heavens and the earth. And [exalted is He] at
night and when you are at noon. He brings the living out of the dead and brings the
dead out of the living and brings to life the earth after its lifelessness. And thus will you
be brought out. And of His signs is that He created you from dust; then, suddenly you
were human beings dispersing [throughout the earth]. And of His signs is that He
created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He
placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought. And of His signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth and the
diversity of your languages and your colours. Indeed, in that are signs for those of
knowledge. Surah Rum [30:17-22]

– He speaks about light and day – He speaks about the lifeless earth coming back to life and thriving with vegetation – Then he talks about the soul vs dust – And in the middle of all these he talks about the relationship in partners, and it is no longer about the dualities, it is about the singularity

→ Someone from yourselves, mates He likes it to- “signs” His about talking by verse ends AND begins -إِ ن فِي َٰذَِل َك َلَيَا ت – saying, “pay attention” – Prophet (SAW) – when Adam was created, our souls were created “like ants” – there’s a moment where the soul is brought to life. you’re born into this life and your soul itself is not extinguishable – Prophet (SAW) (Hadith of Imam Bukhari) – The souls when they were created in the time of Adam, they were brought into groupings, and the souls became familiar with one another – A long essay is written about this hadith, and it says if there is a bright soul, and it enters into a room of 1000 dark souls, and one bright soul, that soul would attach itself to the other bright soul – souls gravitate to each other … or make you hate each other’s guts – The concept of soul mates for us isn’t just husband and wife – your bffs, your parents, your teachers – scent is powerful – sometimes you might smell something in the air, maybe Coco Chanel like grandma wore…sometimes it really takes you back to a certain time in your life – Your soul remembers people, just like your scent does, and it brings warmness into your heart he said he ,(soul) روح the about asked was SAW Prophet the When – couldn’t say much that is in the knowledge of Allah and we don’t know much about it – Sometimes our soul pushes back people we should be attracted to, and that is because we need to purify our soul effort requires purification – قد أفلح من زكاها – – we attempt to connect with people for marriage and on paper they seem like reasonable candidates…but at that moment when you push back someone who is good, his soul might be too clean, and your soul might be a bit tarnished – your soul might not be accessible to that righteous man/women Good the with up matched usually is Good The – الطيبون لطيبات –

When you are looking for marriage – you need to make sure your soul is accessible to pious souls – don’t always put it on the other person

Quranic Stories about Spouses

The Qur’an is a holistic document that outlines a lifestyle for us. There are many lessons and examples for us to draw from.
● Adam (AS)
○ He asks for a “sahibah”, someone with him
○ Jannah is not enough. You need someone who loves you
■ Even the shaheed, looks behind and Allah gives him the news of them joining you
○ Allah creates for him and blesses him with his wife Hawa’
○ Allah tells Adam (AS) to not eat from the tree as Iblees is an enemy to you and Hawa [20:117]
■ (according to hadith, the greatest thing that the little shayateen can do to make Iblis happy is to convince a man and his wife to split up)
○ Iblis wanted to uncover the blessing that Allah SWT gave Adam, and expose their bad
○ Responsibility for the sin is greater on Adam (AS) (very different from other scriptures)
■ [20:121]
○ Adam AS and Hawa RA were separated when they descended to Earth
■ Jeddah got its name from Jaddah, the Arabic word for grandmother. It is where Hawa’ is believed to have descended
■ Adam AS ‘arafa-ha, or, “recognized her” a little before Maghrib and it is the same day we commemorate on ‘Arafa during Hajj
■ That is when Adam made that dua’a “Rabbana dhalamna anfusana…”
“Our Lord, we have wronged ourselves, and if You do not forgive us
and have mercy upon us, we will surely be among the losers.”
■ That dua’a and that moment of worship commemorates a moment of love that millions of people recreate on Yawm al ‘Arafa
■ Then they came together, and worshiped Allah SWT The first place that a person made sujood to Allah SWT was Adam, inside the fortified walls of the ka’abah.
● Ayyoub (AS)

○ Lots of time people say, we should have patience/endurance like Ayoub (AS)
○ For the first 50 years of his life, Allah gave him prosperity
■ (he had 7 daughters and 7 sons, wealth, the people who he was sent to preach to accept him)
○ After 50 years of prosperity, Allah began to test him.
■ The earthquake made his house collapse and children all died at once;
■ All his servants were killed and wealth looted;
■ people thought he was a false prophet, because “why would God do this to a righteous prophet? he must be cursed.” everyone left his side;
■ His body became decayed and sickly
○ His wife stayed. This man who had everything, lost everything, except his wife
■ The woman who was a mistress of the house became a servant
■ People did not want to be near her as to not “catch her curse”
■ She would ask Ayoub to make dua’a to Allah, and Ayoub said “I am shy to ask Allah after 50 years of prosperity, to ask Allah for relief after only 4 years of hardship”
■ His wife came back with food and when he asked where it came from she pulled back her scarf (she had cut her hair and sold it for food)
○ After seeing his wife suffer, this man (AS) of patience made dua’a “My lord harm has touched me and my family, and you are the most merciful of those who show mercy”
■ It was as if Allah was just waiting for him to ask…
■ A spring gushed forth and Ayyub (AS) drank from the spring, and became young and has been given their life again and everything returned to him
■ The thing that moved Ayoub was love, it is that he loved his wife more than his own patience
○ The right of the servant is to be put before the right you owe Allah CIRCUMSTANTIALLY
■ If your wife (or mom or dad etc) falls sick, and you were going to hajj and your ihraam is on and your foot almost out the door, you stay.

→ The right your family member has on you is greater than that obligation to Allah
■ Abdullah Ibn Mubarak RH – Went for hajj and saw a dream of those who made hajj and their hajj was accepted. He saw the face of a man and where he lived
● Abdullah immediately went to see him. Upon meeting the man, he found that he had not made hajj! The man said that he was on his when he saw an impoverished man. He realized that he that the wealth he had planned to use to go
Love Notes By Sh Yahya Ibrahim 5 to hajj would be enough to get the man in need on his own two feet. So he gave it to him and made dua’a that he would get to go for Hajj later. THAT is the man that Abdullah saw with a shining face.
● Prophet Dawood (AS)
○ King of his time, had many wives
○ Looked over his marketplace and saw a beautiful woman. He asked if this woman is spoken for? They said no, but she is promised to the general.
■ for a moment Dawud (AS)’s heart thought “if that man becomes Shaheed… Allah give him Jannah” lol
○ (In Surah Saad)
■ Allah sent two men (really angels) that jump in front of him and he reels back. One of them says “don’t be scared, we are two men that are quarrelling. He has 99 sheep and I have 1 (representing blessings), and he keeps desiring my 1 sheep to complete his 1 00.
■ Dawud says, he has wronged you to even suggest that he should give you your sheep.
■ Then it clicked in his mind that it was a test from Allah! It was a message indicating that he (AS) have been blessed with so much, and that generally is the one who has that one sheep…so Dawud (AS) fell in prostration
○ The stories of the Quran are full of love and passion
● Nuh (AS)
○ Imagine you are some sheikh, and you are on the pulpit for Juma’a and you are telling it as it is…Then your wife walks out and says “It’s all nonsense! He is making it all up!” Your son is sitting there and saying, “PSHHH, don’t listen to this guy. He knows nothing.” (People would be like, when your family believes, then come talk to me lol”)
○ Your wife and your son become adversaries and they become leaders of those who disbelieve
○ Imagine that is you, just a sheikh – Imagine being the Prophet of Allah
○ Nuh AS never gives up
○ Nuh is on a ship on land that has been experiencing a drought for years and people are looking at him like he is crazy – until Allah swt orders the sky to let down its rain, and the sky gushes until the waves become the size of mountains
■ And Nuh asks his son, belief in God so I can let you on the ship, his son says, I don’t believe in you or your god or your ship, I’ll go up to that mountain and it will protect me from the waters
■ So he says, my son, none will be protected except those that are on this ship, and then he refuses and he becomes one of those who drowned
■ Nuh says to Allah “When you promise, it is true, you said you would save me and my family, he is part of me and he drowned” so Allah said, “he is not your family, forget him”
● The illegitimate is not to be loved, Allah will always get you out of those drowning waters and until the last moments Allah will provide you what is good – but he will never make the illegitimate, legitimate
● What makes you and I who we are? Why are the stories of the messengers something that still resonates with us?
○ Part 1: Jasad – 70% of us is water, 30% is organic
■ The difference between us and pigs is less than 1% (genetically speaking)
■ In the Quran: Those who know God, but do not accept God are like Cattle
○ Part 2: Mind
■ Rational being, we think and can anticipate what is happening
■ Allah has blessed the son of Adam with the mind, drugs and intoxicants are haram because they take away the mind
■ Don’t think that animals do not have emotions and feelings too
■ Sheikh plays this video
● Sometimes we think we are the only beings that actually matter
● Ibn Qayim writes 60 pages on Allah quoting the ant
○ Ant knows delegation & authority
○ Knows what is home & what isn’t
○ It knows name “Solomon”, and his troops (knows our functions)
○ And the ant makes an excuse (if they trample you then they don’t know)
○ Ibn Qayyim lists 11 types of language that the ant uses
■ Allah inspires the bees regarding how it can live its life
■ Don’t ever think that the world around you is meaningless, simple experiments show that there is so much more in the world that Allah created
■ They are a nation, just like you are a nation
○ Part 3: Soul
■ There are 3 components, and this 3rd part is what makes us insaan
■ The majesty of the soul lives in the heart – The heart is the throne of the soul
● The chest is what protects the heart
● Haritha (one of the sahabah) is walking and the Prophet SAW says how are you and he says I woke up a mu’min, Prophet SAW said why? He said when I pray it is if I see Allah but I do not see him; when I sin, I see the fire, but it is not
Love Notes By Sh Yahya Ibrahim 7 there; When I do good, I see Jannah, but I do not see it – So Prophet SAW touches his chest and he says you are a believer
● Hope, mercy, love of God is in your chest, it is important to keep that spirit true
● When Allah talks about Imaan he says Allah opened his chest to Imaan (that is the imagery given to us by Allah SWT)
● That is why the heart is so important to talk about love because the heart is what governs the rest of us
● When your heart is closer to Allah, it is easier to come closer to people à that is the beauty of the dua’ of Musa “’ishrahly sadry”, open my heart to people
● The premise of this class is to bring our hearts closer to Allah so that we can come close to his servants
■ The 3 levels are ascending levels
■ Islam also has 3 levels, Islam, Ihsan and Iman; Each of those 3 levels matches our 3 parts
● Islam (Jasad) – You must physically say the words of the shahadah, pray, fast, do Hajj, and give zakat, Islam matches the physicalness of you jasad
● Imaan (Akl) – Matches your mind, the 6 articles of faith cannot be qualified/rationalized, but they are believed. Iman came to subdue the rationale that pulls you away from Allah
● Ihsan (Ruh) – Even though you cannot see Allah in life, your heart is always aware of Allah. Everything you witness in life connects you to Allah
○ Imam Sufyan al Thawri is walking out of the masjid, and a man begins to abuse him, his students try to stop him, he says no leave him and he says “I know the sin that I did that brought this upon me”
○ Imam Sufyan RH would give his students 3 rules when teaching them:
■ Correct what is between you and Allah, and he will help you correct what is between you and mankind
■ Fix what is between you and Allah privately, he will make your public good with others
■ Remember Allah when you don’t need him, and he will know you when you need him
○ There are angels whose job is to catch our hadith (dua’a) and throw it back at us because it is not worthy of ascending – hadith of the Prophet SAW armour.

Categories
Current Affairs articles

In Pursuit of Happiness…

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Allah says: “Know that the life of this world is but amusement and diversion and adornment and boasting to one another and competition in increase of wealth and children – like the example of a rain whose [resulting] plant growth pleases the tillers; then it dries and you see it turned yellow; then it becomes [scattered] debris. And in the Hereafter is severe punishment and forgiveness from Allāh and approval. And what is the worldly life except for the enjoyment of delusion.” ( Qur’an 57:20)

moneyHappiness or Money?

“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people that they don’t like.”

I believe that money can’t buy you happiness. Sure, having a lot of money is a great thing and gets rid of the stress of financial insecurity. But real happiness can’t be bought by money. Thinking about life has led me to think about this popular belief and realise it’s completely true. Although being financially secure is one of the best things in the world, it won’t necessarily bring you happiness. Many people dream of being rich. They think of all the things they can buy with money such as big houses, fancy cars, and long vacations. People make it their goal to get into a good college to get a good job and make a lot of money. With financial security, people think they have more time to spend relaxing and being happy. There are so many success stories of people going from “rags to riches” and people try to follow their footsteps and do the same thing. Basically, we all get this idea that being rich is a great thing and it will guarantee happiness, but is it true? On the flip side, there are also people who have gone from millionaires (karor pati) to living off benefits (road pati).

 

As Muslims we are taught to rely on Allah SWT for our sustenance, Allah provides. Obviously, tie your camel then trust in Allah. I would like to narrate a passage from a lecture of an Imam from Madinah –  Shaykh Muhammad al-Mukhtar ash-Sinqitee (Allah preserve him): “The happiest of people is the one who addresses his complaints to Allah and not to his creation. The happiest of people is the one who puts his certainty in Allah and does not put his certainty in Zayd or Amr (i.e. people). If a person was in debt and your friend said I will talk to such and such a person he is wealthy. And your debt will be relieved very easily by that person. How certain will you be about your debt being settled and your hardship being removed?

But how about the King of Kings the One who has depositories of the Heavens and the Earth in His hand? How about the Most Generous, which the fullness of His Hand is not affected by the continuous spending, night and day. O Allah! Make our poorness to You, and our richness in You. Be rich in Allah, have trust in Allah. People turning away from you is indeed a blessing from Allah, He wants you to turn to Him.”

Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) as saying:

“Many a people with dishevelled hair are driven away from the door (but they are so pious) that if they are to swear in the name of Allah, He would definitely fulfil that.” (Saheeh Muslim)

The happiest of people are the one who says, “Ya Rabb!” – and Allah answers his supplications. By Allah! Happiness is not in wealth; if it was in wealth, the happiest of the people would have been Qaroon, but he was amongst the most unfortunate and miserable of people, “And we caused the earth to swallow him and his home.” (28:81)

Wealth is not happiness and happiness is not when you ask people and they give you. True happiness is when Allah will open the doors of heaven for you, Allah make us from them. Ameen!

It was narrated from Abū Hurayrah (raḍiy Allāhu ʿanhu) that the Messenger of Allāh (sall Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) used to tie a stone to his stomach because of hunger. (Ibnul Arabi in Mu’jam)

Money only makes a person want more money – it creates greed and thrives off the desire for more and more. I heard someone recently say regarding another person who has a fulfilling business that ‘he’s lazy and not enthusiastic’ simply because he has shown a level of contentment within his business and refuses to advance it further.

Why? Because, unlike many many others, by Allah, he has resisted that monetary lust and has sukoon/peace in the amount he has. And why was he called lazy? Because unfortunately, today, many people think that the successful and admirable one is he who is able to keep the revenue rolling constantly until there is more money than one will EVER need.

Abū Saʿīd Khudri (Allah be pleased with him) reported that Allāh’s Messenger (sall Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) said,

“The world is sweet and green (alluring) and verily Allāh is going to install you as vicegerent in it in order to see how you act. So avoid the allurement of women: verily, the first trial for the people of Isrā’īl was caused by women. (And in the ḥadīth transmitted on the authority of Ibn Bashshar the words are:) so that He should see how you act.” (Saheeh Muslim)

 

The feeling of constantly wanting to generate money has terrible, subconscious effects on oneself. The person is in a constant trance-like mode whereby he is forever thinking about the next project that will bring him a profit and in this there is no barakah/blessings in his day for any extra Qur’an, adhkar and Islamic progression. Many so-called religious folks try justifying their love for wealth and materialism by stating companions such as Uthman Ghani (Allah be pleased with him) and AbdulRehman ibn Awf (Allah be pleased with him) who were wealthy… Dear brothers and sisters, with the wealth of Uthman (Allah be pleased with him) must come the Taqwa of Uthman as well! Scholars have also got sucked into materialism and consumerism, please see this article on scholars charging for Da’wah.

The Prophet (sall Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) was seen by ʿUmar (raḍiy Allāhu ʿanhu) with dust on his clothes from having slept on the floor. ʿUmar (raḍiy Allāhu ʿanhu) wished to provide the Prophet (sall Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) with a more comfortable bed and the reply was,

“What have I to gain in this world? The like of this world is as that of a traveller who is travelling in the sun and he sits under a tree momentarily and then gets up and continues on.” (Tirmidhi)

For example, In “The High Price Of Materialism” Tim Kasser says, No matter how many fancy designer clothes, cars, or jewels they might obtain, no matter how big their house or how up-to-date their electronic equipment, the lost opportunity to engage in pleasurable activities and enjoy each others’ companionship will work against need satisfaction, and thus against their happiness.

Happiness is the most valuable aim of a human being. While the earth is getting complicated and changing day by day, almost all people are trying to have a happy and fulfilling life. During this pursuit of happiness, our relationships play a crucial role. In the pace of life, when we have encountered some stressful or disappointing situation or cases, in order to take a breath we always consult our families and fly into our family’s arms. If we have our own families and their real support, it is the most reliable way to reach happiness and relief. But sometimes people can be in a dilemma between possessions and relationships. This is the point of collapsing real happiness because when the passion of money comes to a person, he starts to abandon his family. He thinks as if money will bring them happiness and a good life. But it won’t. As Tim Kasser says in the article of Mixed Messages “a focus on materialistic values detracts from well-being and happiness. For example, when spouses spend most of their time working to make money, they neglect opportunities to be with each other and do what most interests them.” And again in Downshifting in Britain

As you can see in these sentences as long as people don’t allocate enough time for their families, there is no way to make them happy.love life

“Difficulties in managing work-life balance can have a detrimental impact on the quality of the relationships between parents and children and the parent’s responsiveness to the child, with implications for child outcomes. This is particularly important for every young child, with evidence suggesting that it is best for children if they can receive intensive parental contact for the first months (HM Treasury & DTI 2003, p 13-14).”

The word ‘happy’ is defined by the Oxford dictionary as: “Feeling or showing pleasure or contentment,” however happiness means different things to each individual person. Most people’s definition of happiness would include words along the lines of ‘love’ and ‘health’, and others may include ‘family’ ‘friends’ ‘belief’ ‘achievement’ these are all things that money does not give you. The truly happy people I’ve known have been those who were engaged in meaningful work, paid or unpaid. These people were so busy living their lives in pursuit of something larger than themselves that they had no time to wonder, “Am I happy?” They just were.

The other most important step to reach happiness is our satisfaction. Because actually, the money doesn’t make us happy, it can help us just by providing some satisfaction. When we lost our satisfaction, it means we lost our happiness and this is exactly what our possessions do. Lots of people in consumer countries and societies think that they always need more money than they have now, even if they are wealthy and rich people. In the book of Clive Hamilton, this situation is stated with this sentence: “The trouble with the rat race is, even if you win, you are still a rat.” Because of the society that they belong to, they are convinced that more money means always more happiness. So without exception, all people are trying to have more possessions to be satisfied by being able to buy what they need.

In conclusion, I believe that money provides temporary satisfaction but that is up to you to figure out how to truly be happy. You need to start with basics like enough money for food and shelter, but if you try to build on your fortune then you must keep your priorities right; friends and family first. If you lose your money, then who will be there for you to catch you when you fall from that high horse that you have been riding for so long? Your friends and family. My definition of happiness would be living a healthy life surrounded by my family and friends, yes I would need money for food and shelter but after that, how much do I really need?

Anas bin Mālik (Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allāh (sall Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) said:

“Whoever makes the Hereafter his goal, Allāh makes his heart rich, and organises his affairs, and the world comes to him whether it wants to or not. And whoever makes the world his goal, Allāh puts his poverty right before his eyes and disorganises his affairs, and the world does not come to him, except what has been decreed for him.” (Tirmidhi)life.jpg

Ismail Ibn Nazir Satia (One who is in dire need of Allah’s forgiveness, mercy and pleasure)

24 Rabiul Thani 1440

 

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Muslim men Muslim women

Unapologetically Telling The Truth Is A Terrible Thing to Admire

Why do we value “unapologetically telling the truth like it is” so highly? When did this become an actual thing that we lionize and aspire to? Why do we celebrate those who do this?

What’s the point of telling it like it is, even if people hate it? And what does it say about us as a community if this is how sincerity and authenticity is expressed? When did it become some type of significant accomplishment that is lauded by others?

There’s obviously an immediate benefit. You gain notoriety, fans, social media engagement, and maybe even just enough of a following to leverage a career (or presidency) out of it.

I have noticed a trend lately, particularly in discourse about Islamic issues online, where people are being heralded and promoted for telling it like it is.

This culture appears to be an overreaction to another problem (as most extremes often are) – speaking about issues without any principles, or watering down and politicizing them. When something in regards to the religion is watered down, the perception is that this is done from a position of weakness.

By speaking the unapologetic truth harshly, a person may feel they are taking on a task for the community that others are not. They are giving voice to a perspective that may otherwise be silent. They are providing objective and accurate intellectual analysis without any emotion or sugar-coating.

Validation follows. Others encourage them for speaking up and saying the things they are unafraid to say. This makes the person feel they are taking on an important task on behalf of the ummah, and continue to do so. Then they get more fans and comments, and the cycle continues.

This validation loop, particularly online when it is in the form of likes and comments, makes it challenging to engage criticisms of this approach objectively. After all, everyone is telling you this is incredible – why should you listen to the few uptight people who are so focused on tone instead of the unapologetic truth bomb you are dropping on people?

This justification comes from prioritizing the utility of giving a correct point of view over how it is delivered – especially when this point of view is drowned out by all the people with the wrong understanding.

When given real feedback on tone or etiquette, people who pride themselves on being unapologetic or authentic will respond by deflecting this advice. Focus on the intellectual merits of the argument they’ll argue. Or they will deflect it by pointing to some type of bad character on the part of people who hold the opposing viewpoint as them. Don’t worry about my bad attitude, worry about that other person’s character instead. Or they’ll appeal to authority and declare that they already have teachers or mentors that give them advice, so they are free to dismiss comments no matter how legitimate. For people who pride themselves on being objective or intellectual, these are all profoundly childish responses.

What is billed as being authentic or unapologetic is really a mask for laziness and ego.

The Qur’an lays out a model that we’ll refer to as the ‘high-competency’ approach:

By an act of mercy from God, you [Prophet] were gentle in your dealings with them—had you been harsh, or hard-hearted, they would have dispersed and left you—so pardon them and ask forgiveness for them. Consult with them about matters, then, when you have decided on a course of action, put your trust in God: God loves those who put their trust in Him (3:159).

Where in this ayah does it appear that the approach of telling the cold hard truth would fall?

Telling the unapologetic truth without regard for how people take it is the easy way out. Anyone can do that. The problem is that it does not work. It causes people to get turned off. Those who lionize this approach will counter by saying, “so what?” They put the blame on the people who can’t handle the message instead of taking responsibility for how they deliver it.

That’s why it’s lazy. It’s a low competency form of delivering a message. The only people who celebrate it are ones that already agree with it. It does not accomplish the ultimate task of winning hearts and minds or changing someone’s viewpoint.

Instead, it puts the focus on the person giving the message – how courageous, authentic, and direct they are. This makes the communication inherently ego driven because the intended audience is now ignored. The actual content of a person’s message also gets lost as they start to craft their identity around speaking forcefully instead of effectively. They show no concern for the recipient of the message, only in themselves.

The task of winning hearts and minds, or changing someone’s ideological worldview, is not done through a hot take on Facebook. It is done as the ayah above indicates – with kindness in dealings with them.

Giving hot takes on social media builds fans and followings, not relationships. The ultimate irony is that unapologetically speaking the truth actually prevents people from developing the relationships to affect positive change in the community because no one wants to be around them.

“How well you take criticism depends less on the message and more on your relationship with the messenger. It’s surprisingly easy to hear a hard truth when it comes from someone who believes in your potential and cares about your success.” –Adam Grant

It requires the hard work of building relationships with people and building community. True leaders understand that this requires years of investment into people – not all of which will be documented on social media. Success means playing the long game.

It means going to a tyrant like Fir’awn, and still speaking kindly because the ultimate intent is different than to just tell it like it is.

It means that when the young man walks into the masjid of the Prophet (s) and asks permission to commit zina (adultery), that the Prophet (s) takes him and teaches him kindly. He could have easily reminded him about the jurisprudential rulings about adultery, and the prescribed punishment – no doubt that would be unapologetically speaking the truth. But it would not have achieved the intended outcome, so the Prophet (s) had to take the approach that would actually produce results.

But wait, what about all the times in the life of the Prophet (s) when harshness was used? Didn’t he speak the truth clearly? Yes. There are always going to be situations where this is called for strategically as a tool intended for a specific result. The problem we are highlighting is not of speaking the truth clearly, but one of expressing it in a harsh way such that people are turned off. And worse, people who respond to the harshness with cheerleading and zealousness instead of genuine care and concern for the one who is wrong to gain some sense of rectification.

There is something deeper at play here than ego or taking the easy way out. Authenticity.

Authenticity is the buzzword we use to express sincerity. When I tell it like it is, I am being authentic and sincere. Not fake. Not a sell-out.

Authenticity presents a paradox: Do you do what’s effective, or do you do what is true to yourself? We might reach a certain level of success and influence by being a certain way. The challenge is getting to the next level. If that means suddenly changing how I communicate or speaking with what I term to be watered down political jargon, then no thanks. This is the mindset that allows us to morally justify our unapologetic approach, and actually double down on it when told to act otherwise.

Authenticity is a barrier to personal growth. We use this idea of it representing sincerity as an excuse to keep from changing. We have to shift from delivering the information people need to know (low-level) to creating the conditions of increasing learning (high-level).

This requires putting in the work to change our approach and character.

The Prophet (s) said that ‘the two characteristics that led the most people into Paradise were consciousness of Allah and good character’ (Tirmidhi).

Don’t let anyone subvert this in the name of unapologetically speaking the truth.

Low competency individuals are drawn to telling it like it is. High competency individuals are attracted to painting the vision of how things could be – and building the bridge to help and serve people in getting there.

https://www.ibnabeeomar.com/blog/unapologetically-telling-the-truth-is-a-terrible-thing-to-admire

 

he-tells-it-like-it-is-paul-not

Categories
Current Affairs articles Miscellaneous

40 Sacred Hadith on Archery

c700x420.jpg1 From the collection of Sahih Muslim
On the authority of `Uqbah bin `Amr, may Allah, exalted be He, be well-pleased with him, who said, “I heard The Holy Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah Almighty upon him, say while he was delivering a sermon from the pulpit – minbar,

“Prepare to meet them with as much strength as you can afford,
verily, strength lies in archery,
verily, strength lies in archery,
verily, strength lies in archery.’”

and the Messenger of Allah has spoken in Truth

2 From the collection of Sahih Muslim

On the authority of `Uqbah bin `Amr, may Allah be well-pleased with him, who said,
“I heard the Holy Prophet, Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him, say

“Lands will be thrown open to you and Allah will suffice you against their evil, but none of you should give up sporting with his arrows, and you shall know.’”

and the Messenger of Allah has spoken in Truth

3 Selected by at-Tabarani

On the authority of Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas, may Allah’s favour be upon him, who related,
“The Holy Prophet, peace and blessings of the Almighty be upon him, said,

“You must use archery, for it is good for him who engages in warfare.’”

and the Messenger of Allah has spoken truly

4 Related by Abu ash-Shaykh and Ibn Abi Dunya

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah, Allah Almighty’s favour be upon him, from The Holy Prophet, may Allah the Exalted bless him and give him peace, who said,

“Learn the throwing of arrows, and do not be averse to it, for the area between the two targets holds a garden of the gardens of paradise.”

and the Messenger has spoken truly

5 Chosen by ad-Daylami in his Musnad

On the authority of Abu Sa’id al-Khudri, may Allah Almighty be well-pleased with him, who related that The Holy Prophet, may peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said,
“Learn the casting of arrows and the Qur’an.”

and the Messenger of Allah has spoken truly

6 Narrated by al-Bayhaqi the Sunan

On the authority of Abu Rafi’, may Allah be pleased with him, who related, “I asked The Holy Prophet, may peace and blessings of Allah Almighty be upon him, `Do children have rights over us as we have rights?’ The Holy Prophet, peace and blessings from Allah Almighty be upon him, replied,

“Yes, the father has the same legal obligations towards his son as the son towards him.” And he said, “The rights of the son over his parent is that he should teach him writing, swimming, and the casting of arrows and that he should leave him in a good legal inheritance.’”

and the Messenger of Allah has spoken truly

7 Selected by ad-Daylami

On the authority of Jabir, may Allah Almighty be well-pleased with him, who narrated, “The Holy Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah Almighty be upon him, said,

“Teach your sons the shooting of arrows!’”

and the Messenger of Allah has spoken truly

8 Selected by Abu ash-Shaykh

On the authority of Abu Qilaba, may Allah Almighty be well-pleased with him, who narrated, “The Holy Prophet, peace and blessings from Allah Almighty be upon him, said,

“Teach your young boys both archery and swimming.’”

9 Selected by Abu ash-Shaykh and others
On the authority of al-Qa’qa bin Abi Hidr, may Allah be well-pleased with him, who said, “The Holy Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah Almighty be upon him, said,

“Dress like the Ma’d, adopt rough clothing, wear simple garments, surpass one another in jousting, and walk barefoot.’”

and the Messenger of Allah has spoken truly

10 Abu Da’ud and others

On the authority of `Uqba bin `Amr, may Allah Almighty be well-pleased with him, who related, “I heard The Holy Prophet, peace and blessings from Allah Almighty be upon him, say, 
“Verily, with one arrow Allah almighty will admit three individuals into paradise :
the maker of the arrow who fashions it with good intent,
the archer who shoots this arrow and
the person who gathers it up (after it has been shot).’”

and the Holy Prophet has spoken truly

11 Selected by Abu ash-Shaykh

On the authority of Najiya, may Allah’s favour be on him, who related, “With a quiver in my hand, I was passing by an old man sitting by the gate of Bani Sulaym. He spoke to me and said, `Will you sell me the arrows you hold in your hand or not?’ I said, `I will sell it.’ And the old man said, `Verily I shall buy it, though I can no longer shoot it. Then he said to his servant girl,

`Oh slave girl, go check my quiver and tell me whether it is full up or not! 
For I heard The Holy Prophet, may Allah send peace and blessings upon him, say,

“Attend to your quivers!’”

12 Related by an-Nasa’i and al-Bayhaqi

On the authority of `Ata ibn Abi Rabah, may Allah Almighty be well-pleased with him, who narrated, “I saw Khalid bin Abdullah and Jabir bin `Amru-l-Ansari, may Allah Almighty’s favours be upon them both, casting arrows. As one of them wearied, the other said to his companion, `You have grown weary of casting arrows, but I have heard these words from The Holy Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah Almighty be upon him, who said,

“Everything that is done without the remembrance of Allah (Dhikrullah) is vain distraction and idle play, but for these four accomplishments :

a man walking between the two points of the archery ground, training his horse, learning how to swim and jesting with his family.’”

and the Messenger of Allah has spoken truly

13 Reported by al-Qarrab

On the authority of Abu ad-Darda’, may Allah Almighty shower His favours on him, who narrates from The Holy Prophet, peace and blessings from Allah Almighty be upon him, who said,

“All games are idle play but three things :
the riding of horses,
the casting of arrows,
and a man playing with his wife ;
And of these the most beloved to me is the casting of arrows.”

14 ad-Daylami

On the authority of Ibn `Umar, may Allah Almighty be well-pleased with them both, from The Holy Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah Almighty be upon him, who said,
“What an excellent diversion for a man is the casting of arrows; and whoever 
leaves archery after having learnt it, he has rejected a gift of grace.”

and the Holy Prophet spoke truly

15 Selected by ad-Daylami

On the authority of `Abd-ur Rahman ibn Shumasa that Qusaym al-Layth said to `Uqba bin `Amr, may Allah Almighty be well-pleased with him, as he was walking back and forth between the two targets (on the archery ground) “How is it that you keep going between these two points, whereas you are already an old man?” To this `Uqba replied, “Were I not for this world that I heard from The Holy Prophet, peace and blessings from Allah Almighty be upon him, I would not take this upon myself.” And he said, “I heard him say,

“Whoever learns archery, only to later abandon it, he is not one of us.’”

16 Selected by Abu ash-Shaykh

On the authority of Ibn `Umar, may Allah Almighty be well-pleased with them both, who narrates that The Holy Prophet, peace and blessings from Allah Almighty be upon him, once missed a certain man. The Holy Prophet, upon whom be blessings and peace, said,

“Where is that missing person?

And one of them said, “He has gone gaming.”

And The Holy Prophet, Allah’s peace and Blessings upon him, said,

“What have we to do with games!”

And one man said, “O Prophet of Allah! That man has gone to cast his arrows.”

Thereupon The Holy Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah Almighty be upon him, said,

“The casting of arrows is not one of the unlawful games; indeed, casting arrows is the very best of your pastimes.’”

17 Narrated by Abu ash-Shaykh

On the authority of Abu Hurayra, may Allah be well-pleased with him, who recalled, “The Holy Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah Almighty be upon him, said,

“The casting of arrows is a share and a characteristic of the shares of Islam.’”

and the Holy Prophet has spoken truly

18 Reported by Abu ash-Shaykh

On the authority of Abu Umama, may Allah Almighty be well-pleased with him, who said, “The Holy Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said,

“Men have not drawn anything but that the bow had an advantage over it, and more.”

and the Messenger of Allah has spoken truly

19 at-Tabarani

On the authority of Saiyidina Ali, may Allah Almighty be well-pleased with him, who relates, “On the morning of Ghadir Khumm The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah Almighty be upon him, wound my turban and its end fell down upon my shoulder. Then he said,

“Verily, the Lord, exalted be His Majesty, assisted me on the day of the battle of Badr and on the day of the battle of Hunayn with angels, and they were with this turban wound in this manner.”

Then the Holy Prophet, may Allah Almighty send peace and blessings upon him, went on to say,

“Truly the turban is a barrier between the Muslims and the idolaters.”

Then he donned his armour and, while holding an Arabian bow in his blessed hand, his eye fell upon a man who had in his hand a Persian bow. The Holy Prophet, peace and blessings from Allah Almighty be upon him, said to him,

“Put that away from your hand and take this Arabian bow and these spears of metal; Allah in His exalted Majesty will then support your faith and make you firm in faith and establish you in the land.’”

20 Narrated by al-Bayhaqi

On the authority of Jabir bin Abdullah, may Allah be well-pleased with them both, on the authority of The Holy Prophet, peace and blessings from Allah Almighty be upon him, who said,

“My love necessarily goes to whoever moves back and forth between the two points (the shooting place and the target of the archery field) with an Arabian bow, not with the bow of Chosroes (Persian kings).”

and the Messenger of Allah has spoken truly

21 Related by at-Tabarani
On the authority of Abi Darda’, may Allah Almighty be well-pleased with him, on the authority of The Holy Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah Almighty be upon him, who said,
“Everyone who walks between the two points of the archery field will have 
merited the reward for a good deed for every step he takes.”

and the Holy Prophet has spoken truly

22 Selected by Abu ash-Shaykh and ad-Daylami

On the authority of Abi Darda’, may Allah Almighty be well-pleased with him, on the authority of The Holy Prophet, may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him, who said,

“Whoever removes his wrap from his shoulders and walks between the two targets of the archery field, will receive the reward for the freeing of a believing slave for every single step.”

and the Holy Prophet has spoken truly

23 Selected by Ibn Abi ad-Dunya

On the authority of Abdullah bin Jarad, may Allah be well-pleased with him, who said,

“The Holy Prophet, may Allah bless him and give him peace, liked shooting arrows between the two targets, and he used to run along with his Companions.”

24 Selected by ash-Shaykh

On the authority of Anas bin Malik, may Allah be well-pleased with him, who said, “I saw The Holy Prophet, peace and blessings from Allah Almighty be upon him, chewing a bowstring of sinew, and he firmly spliced the end of his bow with it while he was fasting on a day of Ramadan.”

and the Messenger of Allah has spoken truly

25 Selected by an-Nasa’i
On the authority of Ka’b bin Murra, may Allah Almighty be well-pleased with him, who said, “I heard The Holy Prophet, peace and blessings from Allah Almighty be upon him, say,

“Shoot! He whose arrows reaches the enemy, provided his arrow is shot in the way of Allah, Allah will raise him one level in paradise.’”

and the Messenger of Allah has spoken truly

26 Selected by at-Tabarani
On the authority of Anas, may Allah Almighty be well-pleased with him, who said, “The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings from Allah Almighty be upon him, said,

“Whoever shoots an arrow in the way of Allah, will receive the reward of freeing a slave; and this is his ransom from the fire.’”

and the Messenger of Allah has spoken truly

27 Selected by at-Tabarani in his book `Al-Awsat’

On the authority of Anas, may Allah be well-pleased with him, who said, “The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah Almighty be upon him, said,

“He who shoots an arrow in the way of Allah, whether it falls short or reaches its target, his reward for his arrow shall be as the reward for the freeing of four people of the sons of Isma’il, had he freed them.’”

and the Messenger of Allah has spoken truly

28 Selected by at-Tabarani in his book `al-Kabir’
On the authority of Muhammad Ibn-ul-Hanafiya, may Allah be well-pleased with him, who said,
“I saw Abu `Amru-al-Ansari, may Allah Almighty be well-pleased with him, on the day of Siffin, and he had taken the pledge of allegiance at `Aqaba and fought in the Battles of Badr and Uhud ; now he was bent over from fasting and he said to his servant boy, “Give me cover with the shield!” and the servant boy gave him cover so that he was thereby protected from his enemy whilst he drew the bowstring, weakly until he was hit by three arrows, shooting which he did not return. Thereupon he said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him, say,

“If a person shoots an arrow for the sake of Allah and His good pleasure, regardless of whether his arrow reaches or falls short of his enemy, that shot will be a light going ahead of him on the Day of Resurrection.’”

and the Messenger of Allah has spoken truly

29 Related by al-Bukhari
On the authority of Abu Usayd as-Sa’idi, may Allah be well-pleased with him, on the authority of his father, may Allah Almighty be well-pleased with him, who said, “The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah Almighty be upon him, said,

“On the days of Badr and Hunayn, we joined ranks against the Quraysh and they have joined ranks against us; should they subdue you, go for your arrows.’”

and the Messenger of Allah has spoken truly

30 Selected by at-Tabarani

On the authority of Hussein Ibn as-Sa’ib Ibn Abi Lubaba, on the authority of his father, may Allah Almighty be well-pleased with him, who said, “It was the eve of `Aqaba or the eve of the Battle of Badr when The Holy Prophet, on whom be blessings and peace of Allah Almighty, spoke to those of the Ansar and the Muhajirin who were with him,

“How will you fight the unbelievers on the morrow?”

And `Asim Ibn Abi-al-Aflah said in answer to this, “O Messenger of Allah, first of all, we shall take up the bow and arrows; and if they have drawn close to us, up to two hundred cubits or around that distance, the shooting of a variety of bows begins ; and when they have drawn even closer, the shattering with stones, and when they have drawn yet closer within the reach of our lances, the play of lances begins until the lances are broken ; after that comes the contest of the swords, and this is the manner of battle, O Messenger of Allah.” Upon this The Holy Prophet, upon whom peace, said,

“Thus war is revealed to the people of faith.”

then he gave the command for it and said,

“He who engages in battle with the enemy, let him fight in the manner of Asim.”

and the Messenger of Allah has spoken truly

31 Upon which all (Traditions) are agreed

On the authority of Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas, may Allah Almighty be well-pleased with him, who said,
“The Messenger of Allah, may Allah Almighty bless him and grant him peace, supplied me with arrows on the day of Uhud and The Holy Prophet, peace and blessings from Allah Almighty be upon him, said to me,

“Shoot, oh Sa’ad, may my father and mother be your ransom!”

also on this authority, may Allah Almighty be well-pleased with him, he said, “The Messenger of Allah, may Allah Almighty bless him and grant him peace, did not join both his parents (in this turn of phrase) for anyone else before me, and I was the first to cast arrows at the unbelievers.”

and the Messenger of Allah has spoken truly

32 Related by Abu ash-Shaykh and al-Hakim

On the authority of Sa`d ibn Abi Waqqas, may Allah Almighty be well-pleased with him, “The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings from Allah Almighty be upon him, said to me also on the day of Uhud,

“Oh Allah, guide his shot and grant his supplication”

and the Messenger of Allah has spoken truly

33 Chosen by al-Bukhari

On the authority of Salama bin al-Akwa’, may Allah Almighty be well-pleased with him, that The Messenger of Allah, may Allah Almighty bless him and grant him peace, stepped out to the people of Bani Aslam, while they were staging an archery competition in the marketplace, and he said to them,

“Shoot, ye sons of Isma’il! For verily, your forefather was an archer; and I am with the tribe of so-and-so.”

Thereupon they hesitated, and The Holy Prophet, peace and blessings from Allah Almighty be upon him, asked,

“What is it with you?”

and they said, “How shall we shoot while you are with the tribe of so-and-so?” and The Holy Prophet, peace and blessings from Allah Almighty be upon him, said,

“Go ahead, and shoot, for I am with all of you.’”

and the Messenger of Allah has spoken truly

34 Narrated by at-Tirmidhi
On the authority of Abu Hurayra, may Allah be well-pleased with him, who said, “The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings from Allah be upon him, spoke,

“No wager is permitted except with animals having soles (khuf or hooves – hafir) or with the casting of arrows (nasl).’”

and the Messenger of Allah has spoken truly

35 Chosen by Abu ash-Shaykh

On the authority of Anas, may Allah Almighty be well-pleased with him, who said, “The Messenger of Allah, may Allah Almighty bless him and grant him peace, said,

“Whoever acquires a bow in the way of Allah, from him Allah the exalted fends off poverty and need through its blessings.”

and the Messenger of Allah has spoken truly

36 Selected by at-Tabarani in his book `As-Saghir’

On the authority of A’isha, may Allah be well-pleased with her, who said, “The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said,

“There is no harm for any of you to take up your bow when you are overtaken by care, and thereby do away with your worries.’”

and the Messenger of Allah has spoken truly

37 Chosen by Abu ash-Shaykh

On the authority of Abu Khirash, may Allah be well-pleased with him, who said, “I heard al-Qasim relate about The Messenger of Allah, may Allah Almighty bless him and grant him peace, that he passed by some people shooting arrows with bows, and one of the Companions said, “I see that they have not yet prayed their obligatory prayers, which would be better than what they are doing,

O Messenger of Allah.” And the holy prophet, Allah Almighty bless him and grant him peace, then said,

“Their bows are better unless they miss the prayer time.’”

and the Messenger of Allah has spoken truly

38 Chosen by Abu ash-Shaykh

On the authority of Ibn `Umar, may Allah Almighty be well-pleased with them both, who relates,

“The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings from Allah Almighty be upon him, spoke,
“The angels witness three things:
the wager of the horse-race,
the shooting with the bow,
and the pleasantry of a man with his wife.’”

and the Messenger of Allah has spoken truly

39 Chosen by at-Tabarani
On the authority of Rafi` bin Khadij, may Allah Almighty be well-pleased with him, who related, that he went out on the day of Uhud, and The Messenger of Allah, may Allah Almighty bless him and grant him peace, wished him to return to Medina, for he thought him to be too young. But his uncle told The Holy Prophet, that Rafi’ was an archer and a teacher of archery, whereupon The Holy Prophet, on whom be blessings and peace from Allah Almighty, permitted him to come along.

and the Messenger of Allah has spoken truly

40 On the authority of Salama bin al-Akwa’, may Allah Almighty be well-pleased with him, who related, “I asked The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings from Allah Almighty be upon him, about the permissibility of praying with the bow and the leather quiver: was this permissible or not?” The Holy Prophet, may Allah Almighty bless him and send him peace, replied,

“Pray with the bow but leave aside the leather quiver.’”

and the Messenger of Allah has spoken truly

15 Safar 1440

Categories
Muslim women

I don’t wear a Hijab, but my heart is clean!”

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

170720-brands-selling-hijabs-feature“All of my Ummah will be forgiven except those who sin openly…” [1]

Sinning privately is between Allah and His servant and a struggle that only He knows about and which In sha Allah He will give His servant the Tawfiq to repent for. Openly sinning with no remorse is tantamount to a public challenge to Allah and it doesn’t just remain between a servant and his Lord, but with the people too. One is to unashamedly disobey Allah and then to further justify the sin, but “Allah will not help a people until they help themselves.” [2]

Lately, I seem to have come across many sisters who give reasons for their Hijab – or lack thereof!

“I’m not ready for the Hijab yet!”
“So what if my hair is uncovered? My heart is clean!”
“Don’t tell me to wear Hijab, only Allah can judge me.”

Naturally, it led to many debates where not everyone agreed. Hence, this is merely an opinion.

At random, I started looking at other commandments of Allah. His order to fulfil the obligation of Salah comes with the condition that one has reached the age of puberty, is sane, and is a Muslim. Similarly, the donning of Hijab becomes compulsory once a woman reaches the age of puberty. But why are sisters so quick to make excuses like, “I’m not ready yet” and, “But my heart is clean,” when we don’t make the same excuses for our Zakah and fasting the month of Ramadhan?

My mind is at awe with the women around my Nabi ﷺ who dropped all they had in order to comply to another commandment of Allah with the hope of coming closer to Him. Fatimah Al-Zahrah (R), the queen of the women of Jannah, was the epitome of modesty at the time of Nabi ﷺ and continues to serve as an example until the end of time. Similarly, Umm Khallad (R) who upon hearing of the martyrdom of her beloved son on the battlefield, rushed to it whilst veiled. When asked how she managed to cover in such a state, she responded, “I have lost my son, but I have not lost my modesty.” [3]

Such women had the purest of hearts and yet they did not make the excuses we make because it is not befitting for a Muslim woman to ask for a concession in a matter that Allah and His Nabi (S) have ordained for us!

It may be true that a sister without the Hijab may have a heart purer and Taqwa stronger than that of a sister fully covered. However, when a Muslim woman CHOOSES not to wear the Hijab out of her own free-will (without a valid Shar’i reason), she becomes another fallen brick in the wall that divides us as an Ummah because she has chosen to hide her identity. Those who wear the Hijab (despite their struggles) are then labelled fanatics and extremists because another side has presented a “liberal” image which shows the world that it clearly isn’t mandatory to wear the Hijab and it can’t really be part of the faith! And so in this manner, she makes it harder for her “Hijabi” sister to practice her faith.

Those who refuse the Hijab claiming only Allah can judge them, remember that indeed Allah WILL judge them. Let’s help one another to become stronger in our faith and show the world that we are proud of our identity. May Allah help each of us in our struggles and only He knows what they are.

Do you agree? Disagree? All comments welcome, but please be courteous.plain-chiffon-hijab-plain-chiffon-charcoal-hijab-1_large

[1] Bukhari and Muslim
[2] Surah Ra’ad (13:11)
[3] Abu Dawud

Zainab Bint Husain (Allah protect her)

10 Muharram 1440

Categories
Muslim men Muslim women

Teenage Years

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Teenage Years: Most Difficult for the Parentssophie-sollmann-632775-unsplash

“I never asked to be born!”
“Stop trying to control my life!”
“I hate you!”
You thought you were over the hard part—changing diapers and being awakened throughout the night by your crying baby, dealing with an uncontrollable two-year-old “monster,” and trying to handle a mischievous child, who was always getting into trouble at school. But now comes the really hard part—coping with a rebellious, often rude and obnoxious, teenager. 
Muslim Parents: Not Immune from Teenage Problems
The teenage years have historically been a difficult period for parents in America, with very few exceptions. Struggling to find their own place in the world, teenagers often rebel against the ways of their parents. They want to experiment to find out what is best for them. And, unfortunately, Muslim parents may also face many of the same problems with their teenagers that non-Muslim families face.
Muslim children can also be tempted to drink alcohol or take drugs, be physically attracted to someone of the opposite sex in their class, skip school, or get involved in the wrong crowd.
No doubt, it will be a traumatic experience for a Muslim family to find out that their son or daughter is taking drugs, secretly going out on dates with the opposite sex, or getting in trouble with the police, but it could happen. And what if they become addicts, contract AIDS by having unmarried sex, or become a mother or father before marriage. Our great dreams for our children could suddenly turn into nightmares. It has happened to other Muslim families.
This is, of course, a very frightening thought for most parents. Some will merely say that it won’t happen to their Muslim child. But others will take action and look for ways to prevent these problems or to better handle them if they arise. 
Although no two families have exactly the same situation, there are some general guidelines for dealing with Muslim teenagers that might be useful.
We should teach them from an early age about Allah Ta’aala , the Prophets AS, the Sahabah RA, and the great heroes of Islam.
If we develop in them a love for Islam and provide them with righteous examples for their heroes, they will be much less likely to go astray. A person wants to be like his heroes. If he admires Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam, Abu Bakr Radhiyallahu Anhu, and AliRadhiyallahu Anhu, he will try to follow their example. If he admires a rock star or a gang leader, he will want to be like them. If we inspire our children with good examples, when they are tempted to do wrong, they will, InshaAllah, remember these examples and remain steadfast. 
Although I was raised as a Christian and didn’t embrace Islam until I was in my 20s, I was greatly influenced by the Biblical stories of Prophets like Nuh, Ibrahim, Musa, and Isa (Peace be upon them all). Although the Biblical stories were not in their pure form, they still inculcated in me a love and respect for the way of the Prophets. Although I fell into many of the temptations of youth, Alhamdulillah, I always felt something within me holding me back from going too far. While many of my friends went headlong into a highly destructive way of life, I believe that my knowledge of, and affection for, the Prophets helped me to return to a better path.
We must be very careful about our children’s friends
During the teenage years, children often care more about what their friends say than what their parents or elders say. According to a hadith, “Man is upon the path of his intimate friend; so let each look to whom he takes as a friend.” If our children have good, sincere, and righteous friends, the chances are good that our children will be like them. If, on the other hand, our children hang around with children who take drugs and get into trouble, our children will likely take drugs and get into trouble. 
Therefore, it is essential from an early age that we try to get our children involved with good children. One way to encourage this is by regularly taking them to the mosque (be careful not creating disturbance) or by sending them to an Islamic school where they will have the opportunity to meet and interact with Muslim children. We should be worried though if our children start hanging around with bad-mannered and disrespectful children.
We should encourage our children to participate in wholesome religious, social, and sports activities
Bored teenagers are more likely to look for fun and excitement in the wrong place. “Idle hands are the devil’s (shaytan’s) workshop,” someone once said. If teenagers’ lives are full of good and exciting things to do, they will not have the time or the desire to get involved in bad things. 
We should try to channel their teenage zeal into constructive avenues
Sometimes, teenagers begin to criticize the way of life of their parents and society, and parents are often angered by this. However, we must keep in mind that sometimes they may be right. Our lives and our society are not perfect, and teenagers may have fresh insight into how to improve them. In Living With Teenagers: A Guide for Muslim Parents, Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood writes:
“Teenagers are idealists—they want to change the world, and make it a better place. These are not bad ideals, and it is a great pity that adults have forgotten their own ideals in the rat race of daily life. You, the parent, may have ended up as just a hard-working nonentity in some quiet niche in life; a teenager who is a real idealist may end up as a famous person, a reformer, a politician, an aid worker —who knows. The future lies there before them.
It is therefore a foolish parent who tries to ridicule and trample on that young idealism. If it is consistent with Islam, it should be fervently encouraged, and not set at naught.”
If a teenager is idealistic and wants to improve the world, we should encourage him and help him. If he if full of zeal but lacks the proper direction, we should help him to use that zeal constructively. If we get teenagers involved in helping those in need and in working for important causes, their zeal could make a tremendous impact.
We should sometimes admit that we are wrong
Parents make mistakes. If we admit to our children that we are wrong at times, they will not always feel that they have to rebel against us and prove that we are wrong.
We should listen to our children
Sometimes, children act out in order to get our attention. If we give them our attention freely, they will not have to seek it in destructive ways. Also, by listening to our children, there is a greater chance that they will confide in us and ask us questions, rather than seeking answers from negative sources.
We should do what we say
Teenagers hate hypocrisy, and many of them seem to have a built-in radar for detecting it. If we want them to listen to us and take our advice, they must trust us. If we tell them not to drink, but drink ourselves, they will not respect us.
The teenage years are usually difficult, and parents need to prepare for them before they arrive. If parents have built a strong, trusting, and loving relationship with their children before the teenage years, their children will be less likely to go astray. It is very difficult to see one’s child going in the wrong direction and not know how to stop him from destroying himself. But if we work hard to instill in them the right values early and try to help them develop a wholesome lifestyle without being overbearing, perhaps we can prevent such a tragedy from ever occurring.
Categories
Marriage

Recipe for a Successful Marriage

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Screenshot_2017-11-19-14-54-28.pngANY DUA TO AVOID DISPUTES WITH MY HUSBAND?

Question:

Assalamualaikum 

Is there good easy Duaa/wazeefa to prevent fights? And ease of mind of my husband as well as to move forward from repeated thoughts?

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

 

You have referred to three issues,

a.   Dua to prevent fights

b.   Ease of mind

c.   Move forward from repeated thoughts

Fights are the consequence of one not expressing restraint and controlling one’s anger. In order, to prevent fights one should learn how to exercise restraint and control one’s anger. Dua alone is not sufficient to control one’s anger. If there is a raging fire, one needs to put off the fire. One cannot sit back and simply make dua without the aid of water or fire extinguisher. In fact, when there is fear of fire, arrangement is made for a water hose or fire extinguisher within one’s reach. Likewise, one needs to equip oneself with the necessary skills to overcome and combat anger. This requires spiritual and internal training by oneself or through a spiritual guide.

A Sahabi requested Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam for advice. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam said, لَا تَغْضَبْ . He repeated this advice three times. If one does not exercise restraint and control ones anger, he will be forced to tolerate more than the discomfort of anger later. We advise you to inculcate skills of containing your anger. This would be achieved by a spiritual guide.

 

Also make dua to Allah for tolerance.

رَبَّنَا أَفْرِغْ عَلَيْنَا صَبْرًا وَثَبِّتْ أَقْدَامَنَا وَانْصُرْنَا عَلَى الْقَوْمِ الْكَافِرِينَ

Our Lord, pour upon us patience and plant firmly our feet and give us victory over the disbelieving people.” [2:250] screenshot_2017-11-19-14-54-201.png

The following marriage recipe of 10 points will be useful.

1.   Fear Allah:

It was the noble practice of Nabi (SAW) to conscientise the spouses about the fear for Allah before performing a Nikah by reciting the verses (Nisa v14, Ahzab v69, Aali-Imraan v101) from the Qur’an. All the verses are common in the message of Taqwa (fear of Allah). The spouses will be first committed to Allah before being committed to their partner. There can be no doubt in the success of a marriage governed by the fear of Allah.

2.   Never be angry at the same time:

Anger is the root cause for all marital disputes. One Sahabi came to Rasulullah (SAW) and sought some advice.

Rasulullah (SAW) replied, control your anger. The same advice was rendered three times. (Mishkat pg.433; HM Saeed)

3.   If one has to win an argument, let it be the other:

Nabi (SAW) said: “Whoever discards an argument despite being correct shall earn a palace in the centre of Jannah. (Ibid pg.412)

4.   Never shout at each other unless the house is on fire:

 Luqman (AS) while offering advice to his son said:” and lower your voice for verily the most disliked voice is that of a donkey”. (Surah Luqman v19)

5.   If you have to criticize, do it lovingly:

Rasulullah (SAW) said, ‘A Mu’ min is a mirror for a Mu’min.’ (Abu Dawood vol.2 pg.325; Imdadiyah) Advise with dignity and silently.

6.   Never bring up mistakes of the past:

Nabi (SAW) said: “Whoever conceals the faults of others, Allah shall conceal his faults on the day of Qiyamah.” (Mishkaat pg.429; HM Saeed)

7.   Neglect the whole world rather than your marriage partner:

Nabi (SAW) confirmed the advice of Salman to Abu-Darda [RA] for neglecting his wife. “Verily there is a right of your wife over you.” (Nasai Hadith2391)

8.   Never sleep with an argument unsettled:

Abu Bakr [RA] resolved his dispute with his wife over-feeding the guests before going to bed. (Bukhari Hadith 602)

9.   At least, once everyday, express your gratitude to your partner:

Nabi [sallallahu alayhi wasallam] said, ‘Whoever does not show gratitude to the people has not shown gratitude to Allah.’ (Abu Dawud pg.662; Karachi)

10.   When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness:

 Nabi [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] said, ‘All the sons of Aadam commit error, and the best of those who err are those who seek forgiveness.’ (Tirmidhi Hadith 2499)

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Huzaifah Deedat

Student Darul Iftaa
Lusaka, Zambia

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.