Categories
Ruqya

10 Misconceptions About Ruqya/Jinn/Jadoo

1. “I pray my Salah and Manzil, then trust Allah. Nothing can harm me! Why would I need Ruqya?”

A simple answer for such people is that the Prophet PBUH also prayed Salah and read the Qur’an, rather the Qur’an was revealed upon him. Despite such noble piety, He PBUH was still affected by jinn/jadoo for six months and wasn’t aware (some scholars say even longer). Salah and Qur’an/Manzil are the best forms of protection, they do help, but a person can still be affected by nazar and jinn etc.

NB: We do not stop anyone from reading Manzil and general Qur’an as this does help immensely if someone casts evil eye on you despite your Salah and Qur’an it will only affect you 20%-30%, because you have a certain amount of protection.

2. “I went for Ruqya once it didn’t make a difference, black magic never really goes away.”

This is a statement we hear often because people have unrealistic expectations from Raqis. They want us to fix all their life problems, marriage, kids, work, house and maybe get us that fancy new car too?? And when those expectations are not met it leads to disappointment and frustration.

Secondly, Ruqya is never a one-time fix, this is the biggest mistake people make because most people need a few sessions.

Thirdly, patience is needed. It takes time for these things to heal. A person can have black magic for 10 years and expects it to go in a day or a week? Even medical doctors can’t cure cancer in a week.

You don’t change GPs every week, in a like manner don’t go to one Raqi today, another one next week, then try Taweez in India, by February you’re on Chinese herbal medicine and then back to anti-depressants. Stick to one method for at least 6 months, if it doesn’t work go to someone else, but do regular treatment.

3. “Ruqya is soo expensive and they tell you to drink Zamzam regularly also expensive, and buy Ajwa dates even more expensive! Ruqya is a rip-off!!”

Money means a lot to us all, we all value and love our money, but do we love our health? Mental and physical health… that’s what it boils down to. If you value your health, you will spend the money you spend all your life earning to save that health. But not everyone does, and nobody admits it.

Dear brother and dear sister, have you ever contemplated the amount of money you spend on takeaways/restaurants. The amount brothers spend on cigarettes and shisha. The amount sisters spend on make-up and handbags? Shoes? None of the above save your health! Cut down on these and save £20 for Zamzam/Ajwa… I’m not an accountant, but you can do the maths, we happily spend on futile things because shaytan loves to mislead us.

Ruqya is expensive and the reason is the nature of the field and the risks we take to do this job. It’s not easy and it’s not ABC, don’t compare us to a dentist or optician who opens at 9 am and closes at 5 pm. Raqis have to do so many things in the background to protect themselves to treat you, it also affects their family and house. Not to mention the backlash from doing Ruqya which comes in many forms.

But we must apply the ‘common sense rule’. If someone is charging in the 100s, then Shariah says use your Aqal and run, as you run from a lion. Don’t get conned! 

Look for those who have decent and reasonable prices, bearing in mind those who run from clinics have rent to pay (costs add up). I’m only explaining, not justifying. 

Again, I will say, I rarely hear people complain about dentists and opticians who have high rates! Private health care rips your wallet, arm, and leg off…

4. “I’ve heard these guys are all bogus, they make stories up. And it’s all money-making!”

Nobody likes stereotypes. Nobody. But we all get angry and emotional at some point in our lives and blurt a few things hidden in our minds, because of our bad experiences. You are allowed to have bad experiences and even talk about them, just don’t generalise. The word ‘all’ is dangerous, especially when it’s due to the actions of a few individuals.

The police are meant to protect us and uphold the law, often they break the law. There are corrupt police officers, does that mean all coppers are bent? #LoD

Teachers are meant to educate our children in school and madrasah, many teachers abuse our children, physically and sexually. Do you still send your children to school or do you generalise? 

Doctors are meant to save our lives, but many doctors have killed their patients. Have you stopped going to the hospital?

My point is every sector has a few rotten apples, but you can’t say that everyone is the same. You get genuine people in the world and corrupt people, we need to look for genuine Raqis.

I have never denied the fact that there are fake healers, even in the Taweez/Aamil world. Don’t look at social media and YouTube, everyone looks good on there! Sisters particularly need to be careful as these predators often target vulnerable women. Always go with a mahram and ask questions if you have doubts about their diagnosis, don’t be bamboozled.

5. “Isn’t there a Hadith to the nearest effect, 70,000 people will enter Jannah without accountability on Qiyamah. One group is those who don’t seek Ruqya.”

The Hadith is correct, but like with most Hadith they need interpretation and commentary, they shouldn’t be taken literally, otherwise, it can cause confusion (generally speaking not just for Ruqya). There are Hadith that the Prophet PBUH urinated standing up? Do we follow such Hadith?

The different meanings of the “one who did not seek ruqya.”

1. There are certain pious individuals who have 100% reliance on Allah SWT and they never turn to the creation for help, like the Prophets AS and the Sahabah RA and even in the general public we have the Saints of Allah, they shouldn’t seek Ruqya as it goes against their tawakkul.

2. They do not ask anyone for Ruqya until the affliction happens, some individuals who panic seek Ruqya before the affliction, this is incorrect. 

3. They believe Allah cures not the Raqi, so their belief is correct.

4. They refrain from shirk in their Ruqya, like the Ruqya in pre-Islamic times.

5. They try Ruqya or treatment themselves first then seek it from others. Self-Ruqya is important, to learn and teach it to others.

These are the answers given by Shaykh Khalid Hibshi, KSA

6. “I believe my issues are mental health or even medical. I don’t need Ruqya, because I don’t believe in jinn/jadoo.”

An increasing issue, especially in Europe and the West, where Mental Health issues are accepted and Jinn/Jadoo issues are rejected, denied and marginalized. So where is the balance and correlation between them all? We, as Muslims should believe in Mental Health, it’s a growing reality. Our lifestyle, our diet, and the fast-moving technology are usually the causes.

As for believing in Ruqya and Jinn/Jadoo, be careful before you get your defense shield up. Ruqya is reciting verses of the Qur’an and the treatment is everything mentioned in the Hadith. There is a Surah in the Qur’an called ‘Surah Jinn’. The Prophet PBUH and many of the Sahabah RA were affected by Black Magic. To deny the above is a major sin, and we need to watch our words before we deny them haphazardly. 

It is mainly men who deny these things and even some scholars are negative towards jinn/jadoo issues (wait for day 10 and the reality of Ulama/Imams).

To believe in one thing you don’t need to deny another, to believe in mental health (because you suffered) doesn’t mean you deny jinn/Jadoo. But I’ll be honest, I do feel mental health is overrated, everything is mental health nowadays! Especially with the millennial kids and millennial parents, they don’t believe in jinn/Jadoo as much. The reason is the secular society we live in, the NHS and Media promote Mental Health massively. Well, my answer is My Nabi and My Allah promote jinn/Jadoo issues far more, it is endorsed in the Qur’an and Hadith. We do believe in mental health but mental health doesn’t believe in us.

Many people suffering from jinn/jadoo will suffer mental health issues and vice versa, jinn/jadoo can be a contributing factor in mental health and medical issues. Ruqya has helped people who suffer from Anxiety, Depression, Severe Migraines, even in cases of Cancer Ruqya has helped. Some were given ‘all clear’ and others said Ruqya helped with (the pain of) Chemo. That doesn’t mean we deny medical issues, it just endorses what Allah SWT has said, “The Quran is Shifa.” If doctors and medical experts know everything and cure all, why are soo many people still suffering day and night pills after pills;

CT scan = Clear.

MRI = Clear.

X-ray = Clear.

But they are still in pain and agony? Please do explain.

7. “I’ve had soo much Ruqya done, been to a dozen Raqis. Why am I not getting better? Why doesn’t it go away?”

Some people don’t get better and don’t see major improvements, there are reasons for this: i) People don’t act upon the advice we give them. They don’t pray salah and manzil, let alone surah baqarah (which is long). Men don’t go to the masjid, sisters don’t want to cover up and wear hijab, how on earth will you get better? Apart from a miracle…

ii) Sihr/Jadoo can be repeated. Just like Covid-19, you can get it once and you can get it twice (some have had it thrice). You can also get jadoo again, because the people doing it repeat it. Hence, I say never give up Manzil and Surah Baqarah, keep drinking Ruqya water, and use olive oil regularly. Most people become complacent once they see signs of improvement. 

iii) The one doing Black Magic is close to you. Nobody likes to hear that, but often true. I don’t suggest accusing people, but the worst cases for us are when the perpetrators of Sihr are family members. Hence they keep feeding you and you lose all spirituality and religiosity.

Food is the strongest source of Black Magic, they feed you by mixing it in your food (usually sweet things, cakes, biscuits, or tea). The food enters your body, flows through your blood, eventually, you are fully ‘jadoofied’. A man’s whole personality can change, good men/women can become bitter and evil, harsh and arrogant. 

If you find the concept hard why a family member would do jadoo, father on his own son? Wife on her own husband? One word: control. Control is what everyone craves, but not everyone gets it. Black Magic will give you that control (temporarily), and hellfire (permanently).

8. “You treated my brother who got better instantly, but I am not seeing results despite praying manzil regularly and reading surah baqarah etc.”

Yaqeen and conviction is an important aspect of Islam, it makes all the difference in treatment (medical or spiritual). Even if you take a paracetamol your belief should be Allah SWT cures, not the tablet. If you come for Ruqya you need to believe Allah SWT cures, not the Raqi. The higher the level of Yaqeen the quicker the ilaaj.

Two people can come for Ruqya with different mind-sets and see different results. Many come to ‘test’ us and see if it works. Totally wrong mindset, such people need to stick to MOT testing and not test the words of Allah SWT. If you are cured, Allah SWT cured you and if you weren’t cured there is a deficiency somewhere. 

One of the greatest things I have learnt from Ruqya is trust in Allah SWT, hope in Him, and being optimistic about Allah SWT in all situations. It’s a real test of your Imaan. “I am as my servants think of me” (Hadith Qudsi). Think good of Allah SWT and the results are amazing!

One of the best clips on Husne Dhann with Allah SWT for Arabic listeners.

A line from the clip, “One of the pious predecessors used to say, even if Allah SWT enters me into the Hellfire, I will still tell the people of Hell: I love Allah SWT!”

Subhan Allah! Despite being entered into Hell, to still say I love Allah (because He is fair) is real love and optimism. Allah grant us a share of it. Ameen.

9. “I have heard Raqis don’t like Aamils and people who do Taweez, is this true? Because they say all Taweez are shirk!”

There is a hadith that states ‘amulets/taweez are shirk’, but there is also a hadith (which nobody quotes) that states ‘Ruqya is shirk’. As always, Hadith need interpretation and commentary. The answer to both Hadith is that those amulets which contain the words of Shirk and associating partners with Allah SWT are Shirk. The same applies to Ruqya of jahiliyya/pre-Islam which contains Shirk is not allowed.

Taweez is a grey area though and we need to be careful what sort of taweez we use. If it is clear and legible, then good, if it is a Qur’an ayah you know, then okay. But if you don’t know what it says in the taweez, avoid it like the plague. Why risk it?

Many taweez have been opened to find hair and blood inside. Others had the names of Shaytan and pictures of Shaytan. Hence, we always promote Ruqya which is clear and Qur’anic, it makes sense. The method of treatment is found in the Sunnah. Why have cotton when you can have silk?

As for the hatred, Taweez vs. Ruqya, I have never been intimidated by anyone who does Taweez, Alhumdu Lillah. But I am not sure about the other way round. I have heard many Aamils who spread all sorts of rumours about Raqis, it’s like we are stepping on their toes! If what they do is “kosher” why do they panic when someone starts Ruqya? 

Why the use of such adjectives like “dodgy mawlana” or “Magician molsab”? Carry on with what you do silently… but ruqya does damage for some of them, because their works are far, far from kosher. It is the work of Shaytan! Black magic comes from somewhere…

And often that somewhere are Peers and Mawlanas who sell Taweez containing shirk and black magic. People who do Black Magic don’t sit in a castle dressed in black with a cat and cauldron, that’s Harry Potter! In real life, they are our own scholars making millions of dollars. Be warned!

The truth is always bitter, but bitter medicine has always proven to cure faster than any other. And remember half these stories you get from Aamils are absolutely bogus, many claim to keep jinns for info, even that is questionable whether their jinns exist? But people love to hear their fascinating stories!

10. “I recently went to a counsellor with my husband, the counsellor is also an Alim. We talked about jinn/jadoo issues to which he replied, “shut that topic down, no such thing! 99% of these jinn/jadoo issues are just mental health!”

The best to the last… Ulama and jinn/jadoo issues! First and foremost, we need to understand scholars are scholars, not God! They study in Darul Uloom for 6/7 years to give them “training” in Qur’an/Hadith.

I choose my words carefully, ‘training’, they don’t qualify to know everything. Then they’re told to further their studies on their own or specialise in specific fields. But the majority don’t, many don’t even know Qur’an and Hadith properly let alone specialise in something, let alone know about Mental Health and Jinn/Jadoo issues. Just like this scholar mentioned above. When I put on my trench coat and glasses, I realised he also works in a school? Imagine how many people he is misleading because of his arrogance! You know I will always challenge these molvis… so I called him and gave a plethora of evidence, hadhrat jee put the phone down! I apologised for hurting his ego.

For years, I wondered and wandered through different avenues to work out why soo many Ulama are against Ruqya and negative towards jinn/jadoo issues. 

Once I listened to a talk relating the story of Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal RH, in his time someone came and said, “O Imam! Fulan ibn Fulan denies the issue of jinn!” Imam Ahmad RH: “This is the Shaytan talking on his tongue.” This meaning shaytan will target ulama/imams and misguide them, to mislead the masses, there is plenty of evidence for this. It is important for ulama to have protection against sihr/jinn.

We will always reach out to Ulama who are wrong and correct them, there is no harm. It is better than gheebat-ing, especially in a dars of hadith. That’s right, even senior scholars can be corrected. Recently, our intel told us a senior Shaykhul Hadith sat in a lesson of Bukhari blasting Ruqya and blasting me! What was my sin? Educating people on Black Magic and Ruqya.

Subhan Allah! It’s a shame ulama don’t have the courage to ring me or tell me to my face, especially when I’m not doing anything wrong…  these are the elders we are told to respect since we were small. I wonder if they are elders or oldies?

Ismail ibn Nazir Satia (one who is in dire need of Allah’s forgiveness, mercy and pleasure).

1 Jamadul Thani 1443

Categories
Miscellaneous

Christmas and Turkey

On Saturday, 19 January 2019, 10:43:43 GMT, imraan <admin@daruliftaa.net> wrote:

Question:

Salams Mawlana,

I would like to ask, as we live in England and Christmas is creeping up slowly, many Muslims decide to have a feast on Christmas day with the family. They specifically cook Turkey, imitating the non-Muslims.

They say it is the only day the family can get together (as Xmas day is a bank holiday). But I usually tell them Boxing Day is also a Bank HOliday, cook it on the 26th December?

Is cooking a Turkey on Xmas day permissible, in light of the Hadith, “Whoever imitates a nation is from them.”

Ismail, Blackburn

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Cooking turkey and eating it on Christmas Day is a custom of the Christians.[1]

King Henry VIII was the first English king to eat turkey on Christmas Day. The tradition of eating turkey at Christmas spread throughout England in the 17th century. It also became common to serve goose which remained the predominant roast until the Victorian era. [2]

In the 1900s, turkey became a popular Christmas dish where it became more accessible and affordable.[3]

The Fuqaha (jurists) have ruled that it is impermissible to offer gifts or perform another action that is conducted by the non-Muslims on their sacred days.[4] Consider the following warnings issued by the Fuqaha on such conduct:

Imam Qadhi Khan (rahimahullah) mentions:

وعن الإمام أبي جعفر الكبير رحمه الله تعالى: اذا عبد الرجل خمسين سنة، ثم جاء يوم النيروز وأهدى الى بعض المشركين بيضة يريد به تعظيم يوم النيروز فقد كفر بالله وحبط عمله[5]

“It is narrated from Imam Abu Ja’far Al Kabir (rahimahullah Ta’āla) that if a man worshipped Allah for fifty years, then on the day of Nayruz, he gifted an egg in respect of Nayruz, then he has disbelieved in Allah and all his (good) deeds have been lost.”

Nayruz (also known as Nowruz) is the Zoroastrian New Year’s day. It is celebrated by the Zoroastrians (followers of Zoroastrianism).[6]  

It appears that there is nothing wrong in gifting an egg. However, such an act will be analysed in the context of the sacred day of the Zoroastrians. They exchange gifts on that day in reverence of that day. When a Muslim offers another a gift, it resembles the action of the Zoroastrians respecting that day, hence, it is impermissible.

Imam Burhan ad Deen al Bukhari (rahimahullah) has mentioned:

المسلم اذا أهدى يوم النيروز الى مسلم آخر شيئا ولم يرد به تعظيم اليوم ولكن جرى على ما اعتاده بعض الناس لا يكفر، ولكن ينبغي ان لا يفعل ذلك في ذلك اليوم خاصة، ويفعله قبله أو بعده كيلا يكون شبيها بأولئك القوم وقد قال النبي عليه الصلاة والسلام: (من تشبه بقوم فهو منهم)[7]

“If a Muslim gives a gift to another Muslim and he does not intend glorifying that day but it is the habit of some people, he will not have committed kufr. However, he should not do that on that specific day. He should do it before it or after it so as to not imitate those people for verily Nabi (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) has said, “Whosoever imitates a group of people is amongst them.”

Shaikh Zadah Efindi (rahimahullah) mentions:

ويكفر بوضع قلنسوة المجوس على رأسه على الصحيح إلا لتخليص الأسير أو لضرورة دفع الحر والبرد عند البعض وقيل إن قصد به التشبيه يكفر[8]

“According the most correct opinion, that person has committed kufr if he wears the headwear of a Magian except, according to some, to free a prisoner of war or for a need (such as) to keep away the cold and heat. It has been said that if he intended imitation by it, then he has committed kufr.”

Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) is reported to have said:

مَن تَشَبَّه بقومٍ فَهُوَ مِنْهُم[9]

“Whosoever imitates a group of people is amongst them.” (Abu Dawood: 4031)

Therefore, Muslims should not cook turkey on Christmas day and eat it.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Mizanur Rahman

Student, Darul Iftaa

UK

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.


[1] British Turkey. 2018. Christmas Day Meal Stats. [ONLINE] Available at: http://www.britishturkey.co.uk/facts-and-figures/christmas-day-meal-stats.html.

The Fact Site. Why Do We Eat Turkey on Christmas Day?. [ONLINE] Available at: https://www.thefactsite.com/2012/12/why-do-we-eat-turkey-on-christmas-day.html.

[2] Wikipedia. 2018. Christmas dinner. [ONLINE] Available at: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_dinner.

[3] British Turkey. 2018. Christmas Day Meal Stats. [ONLINE] Available at: http://www.britishturkey.co.uk/facts-and-figures/christmas-day-meal-stats.html.

[4] البحر الرائق شرح كنز الدقائق ومنحة الخالق وتكملة الطوري، زين الدين بن إبراهيم المعروف بابن نجيم المصري (المتوفى: 970هـ)، دار الكتاب الإسلامي، القاهرة، مصر (5/ 133)

وبخروجه إلى نيروز المجوس والموافقة معهم فيما يفعلون في ذلك اليوم وبشرائه يوم النيروز شيئا لم يكن يشتريه قبل ذلك تعظيما للنيروز لا للأكل والشرب وبإهدائه ذلك اليوم للمشركين ولو بيضة تعظيما لذلك اليوم

حاشية رد المحتار على الدر المختار: شرح تنوير الأبصار، محمد أمين الشهير بابن عابدين (المتوفى: 1252هـ)، ايچ أيم سعيد كمبني، كراتشي، باكستان (6/ 755-754)

(والإعطاء باسم النيروز والمهرجان لا يجوز) أي الهدايا باسم هذين اليومين حرام (وإن قصد تعظيمه) كما يعظمه المشركون (يكفر) قال أبو حفص الكبير: لو أن رجلا عبد الله خمسين سنة ثم أهدى لمشرك يوم النيروز بيضة يريد تعظيم اليوم فقد كفر وحبط عمله اهـ ولو أهدى لمسلم ولم يرد تعظيم اليوم بل جرى على عادة الناس لا يكفر وينبغي أن يفعله قبله أو بعده نفيا للشبهة ولو شرى فيه ما لم يشتره قبل إن أراد تعظيمه كفر وإن أراد الأكل كالشرب والتنعيم لا يكفر زيلعي.

[5] فتاوى قاضيخان، فخر الدين ابو المحاسن حسن بن منصور المعروف بقاضيخان الأوزجندي (المتوفى: 592هـ)، دار الكتب العلمية (3/519)

وعن الإمام أبي جعفر الكبير رحمه الله تعالى: اذا عبد الرجل خمسين سنة، ثم جاء يوم النيروز وأهدى الى بعض المشركين بيضة يريد به تعظيم يوم اليروز فقد كفر بالله وحبط عمله

[6] Heritage Institute. Nowruz. [ONLINE] Available at: https://www.heritageinstitute.com/zoroastrianism/nowruz/index.htm.

Encyclopædia Britannica. 2013. Nōrūz. [ONLINE] Available at: https://www.britannica.com/topic/Noruz.

[7]  المحيط البرهاني، برهان الدين محمود بت صدر الشريعة ابن مازة البخاري (المتوفى:616هـ )، ادارة القرآن والعلوم اسلامية، كراشي باكستان – المجلس العلمي، جوهانسبرغ، جنوبي أفريقية

9287- قال في الجامع الأصغر: رجل اشترى يوم النيروز شيئا لم يكن يشتريه قبل ذلك، ان أراد به تعظيم النيروز كما يظمه المشركون يكفر، وان أراد به الأكل والشرب والنعمة لم يكفر. 9288- قال صاحب الجامع الأصغر المسلم اذا أهدى يوم النيروز الى مسلم آخر شيئا ولم يرد به تعظيم اليوم ولكن جرى على ما اعتاده بعض الناس لا يكفر، ولكن ينبغي ان لا يفعل ذلك في ذلك اليوم خاصة، ويفعله قبله أو بعده كيلا يكون شبيها بأولئك القوم وقد قال النبي عليه الصلاة والسلام: (من تشبه بقوم فهو منهم).

[8] مجمع الأنهر في شرح ملتقى الأبحر ومعه الدر المنتقى في شرح الملتقى، الشيخ زاده المعروف بداماد أفندي (متوفى:1077هـ)، دار الكتب العلمية، بيروت، لبنان (2/ 513)

ويكفر بوضع قلنسوة المجوس على رأسه على الصحيح إلا لتخليص الأسير أو لضرورة دفع الحر والبرد عند البعض وقيل إن قصد به التشبيه يكفر

[9]  سنن أبي داود ت الأرنؤوط، أبو داود سليمان بن الأشعث الأزدي السِّجِسْتاني (المتوفى: 275هـ)، دار الرسالة العالمية، بيروت، لبنان (6/ 144)

حدثنا عثمان بن أبي شيبة، حدثنا أبو النضر، حدثنا عبد الرحمن ابن ثابت، حدثنا حسان بن عطيه، عن أبي منيب الجرشي عن ابن عمر، قال: قال رسول الله – صلى الله عليه وسلم -:، من تشبه بقوم فهو منهم”

مرقاة المفاتيح شرح مشكاة المصابيح، علي بن (سلطان) محمد أبو الحسن نور الدين الملا الهروي القاري (المتوفى: 1014هـ)، دار الفكر، بيروت، لبنان – الطبعة الأولى: 2002م (7/ 2782)

 (وعنه) : أي عن ابن عمر (قال: قال رسول الله – صلى الله عليه وسلم – (من تشبه بقوم) : أي من شبه نفسه بالكفار مثلا في اللباس وغيره، أو بالفساق أو الفجار أو بأهل التصوف

Categories
Marriage

Thoughts on Divorce

Dr. Shaykh Yasir Qadhi, USA

As religious clerics, we are constantly involved in divorce issues in our communities. This topic needs to be talked about all the time – the fact that it has become taboo and is never mentioned actually compounds the problems of divorce. Most people never even think about the possibility of divorce and are totally unprepared if they are found in a situation where divorce is the better option. Sadly, the vast majority of divorces that occur don’t even follow proper Islamic protocol (of engaging in the correct steps before the divorce, and then if the step is indeed taken, to divorce in the proper manner). I wanted to highlight one especially important matter. Divorce really shows the true character of a person. Understandably, emotions are raw, pain is incalculable, and a person typically feels a sense of betrayal and intense grief. There is always a long list of grievances that each party will have (although one party typically will have a longer list): some legitimate, some exaggerated, some trivial, and some that are just pure misunderstandings. In such an emotional state, how you react and what you do will speak volumes of the real ‘you’. Will you become vindictive? Does that pain that you feel blind you to the pain you now have the power to unnecessarily cause? Will you work hard to go out of your way to be mean and nasty so that you feel better about yourself in getting some petty revenge? Or will you realize that despite all that has happened, there was a point in your life where the two of you shared a very, very special bond that makes you two different from any other two people on earth? Perhaps there are children involved: so in this case you will permanently share yet another miracle of life together. And hence, with that unique closeness and bond, you will instead control your pain and work to minimize the pain in the other partner as well. Allah references this special feeling and bond when He chastises men for daring to think of taking the mahr money, وَكَيْفَ تَأْخُذُونَهُ وَقَدْ أَفْضَىٰ بَعْضُكُمْ إِلَىٰ بَعْضٍ وَأَخَذْنَ مِنكُم مِّيثَاقًا غَلِيظًا “And how could you dare take it, after the two of you were drawn to each other (in intimacy), and she [trusted you] by taking a firm commitment from you” [Nisa: 21]. Allah questions how any man can be so evil as to take away the rights of a woman he was intimate with, and a woman who trusted him by giving herself over to him because he made a commitment to her – a firm, strong, binding commitment taken in the name of Allah – that he would treat her with dignity. The verse is addressed to men because, firstly, they have certain privileges and responsibilities over women, and secondly, because it is easier and more common for the man to be more abusive than the woman (again, this is generic, and of course each gender can be abusive). A divorce is not evil. Sometimes two people just don’t get along, and that’s fine. Understandably, divorces typically don’t occur in an environment of love and compassion. But that doesn’t mean they have to be devoid of compassion and mercy either. Be fair, be just, be compassionate, be generous, and expect Allah to reward you. Allah reminds men (again, men, because of the two reasons above) {فَإِذَا بَلَغْنَ أَجَلَهُنَّ فَأَمْسِكُوهُنَّ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ فَارِقُوهُنَّ بِمَعْرُوفٍ} “Once the waiting period is over, then either keep your wife in kindness and equitable terms or let her go in kindness and equitable terms” [Ṭalaq: 2]. The word مَعْرُوفٍ means that which is considered honourable and dignified; that which is accepted as being good in your culture. Sometimes, a divorce is indeed the better option. Please brothers especially, but yes also sisters, if divorce is the option you feel is best, do it, but do it properly, and show yourself, and your family and friends, and most importantly show Allah, who you really are.

During such a difficult time, be compassionate and merciful even as you are forced by circumstance to end a contract that was supposed to be a building you a life of compassion and mercy.

A good husband or wife is a good person: just because the marriage contract ends, your humanity shouldn’t.

1 Rabiul Awwal 1442

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Current Affairs articles

Why are our children leaving Islam?

By Imam Ajmal Masroor


Today, I am going to write about a very sensitive subject. I know some of you will not like what I am about to share, but I will share it anyway. This writing has been spurred by a message I received from a concerned brother, who was upset by how people were reacting to my Friday sermon from last week. Particularly one part, which I have uploaded here for your information.  
The question of why our children are leaving Islam needs more data and analysis. However, in the absence of such data and analysis, someone has to raise this issue, based on our daily dealings with the community. In the last month, I have dealt with five young women and two young men who have chosen to leave Islam and become an atheist, agnostic or Christian. Their families have been in contact with me seeking help and support. 
Sadly, I have even witnessed this in members of my wider family. This topic is never discussed as people get too emotional, instead of having a measured and civil exchange. It leaves bad feelings and creates distance between family members, so the topic is avoided at all costs. This is not ideal, but we all prefer to save our relationships rather than argue about religion. 
My father, who has passed away, may Allah have mercy on his soul, would be totally heartbroken if he was alive to witness what is happening in his family. He used to share his fears, and almost foresee the future when he told us this story. He once met a retired British army general who told him, “Mr Hussain, you are here in our country as an economic migrant, you will always remain a foreigner, you will never accept Britain as your home, and that’s ok. We don’t want you. But let me tell you something, we will have your children. Many of them will leave your religion and reject your culture, they will be ours in every way!” 
My father was horrified to hear this confident and powerful prediction. He always reminded us to remain true to our faith. He taught us in the best way he knew. I ask God to forgive him and grant him the best rewards. I have two children and I worry about their future too. May God protect them and keep them steadfast in their faith. 
If only I could show you how true that man’s prediction was! If only I could tell my father that his fears are coming true. If only I could tell my father that, while he did his best to protect me from the possibility of leaving Islam, his strategy did not work for many in his family. When I asked him why he put me in an Islamic school, his response was simple, “To keep you in Islam”. While going to an Islamic school is not a guarantee of remaining in Islam, it still worked for me, and for that, I am grateful to him and God. However, for many this has not worked. 
I feel extremely sad that I cannot help my family members to review their position, because they have shut their door to such a possibility. I feel sad that I cannot help other families with such challenging situations. For anyone to accept and live by Islam, being born in a Muslim family is not enough. They have to be willing to explore the religion with an open mind and heart to be intellectually convinced. I pray for them regularly and I continue my quest to find answers and ways to help them return. The door to Islam is always open, and as a fellow Muslim, I feel I have a duty to support people who are struggling to make sense of Islam. 
After speaking to hundreds of people, many who have left, or are considering leaving Islam, here are some of the key reasons I have identified: 
1. Misogyny – Muslims claim that Islam offers men and women equality, but in practice, Muslims do not treat men and women equally. Many women leave Islam because of their experience of misogyny in Muslim society. They feel they are discriminated against, given second class status, excluded, and often treated as the problem. Misogyny manifests its ugly face deeply in every facet of life. Many Muslim women face unequal treatment from the day they are born. They witness their male family members having a different set of rules to them. I am often told by women, “Growing up with brothers and sisters, we found boys could do anything and get away with it. But if we made even one small mistake, we were told that we would bring dishonour upon the family, even the community.” 
Can you imagine the burden placed on young women to be so pure and perfect? Growing up has enough pressure and challenges for the young souls, and adding misogyny is simply soul-destroying. This double standard between the way men and women are treated is wholly wrong. It is in total contradiction to the Islamic teachings of love, respect, justice, excellence and compassion. If the mothers of our future generations are feeling discriminated against and excluded, what does it say about our future? Sadly, Muslim men who behave in this way have contributed to many people, women in particular, leaving Islam. I have observed that more Muslim women leave Islam than men. Why are you surprised to hear this when some of you have treated women so unfairly? 
2. Mosques – These buildings are constructed, at vast expense, with amazing carpets, lighting, bathrooms, domes and minarets. But very little, in comparison, is spent on educating and supporting the Muslims who live in the surrounding areas. They become bubbles, or elite clubs, for Muslim men who hang out at prayer times and hardly connect with the rest of the community. They become places of comfort for those who are already committed to Islam. They do not have a culture of openness or an ambience of invitation. Those who feel no affinity to the faith, or are struggling to make sense of it, would hardly find it a welcoming atmosphere. Yet the mosque of the blessed Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was not only a place of worship but of refuge, shelter, family counselling, social justice, economic development, mental health support, international relations and much more. The mosque of the blessed Prophet led the society in all that was morally healthy. 
The majority of mosques in the UK do not have facilities for women or youth, and where they can be found, they are usually substandard. Women and youth are treated as outsiders. Vast amounts of space lie empty for 20 hours a day. Apart from the five daily prayers and children’s Quran-reading classes, the mosque space is hardly used. Ask a Muslim woman whether she feels involved or included in the mosque! I can guarantee you that the vast majority would say that they feel excluded, uninvolved, unwanted and uninvited. There is only one mosque that I know which is led by an amazing sister, and she has an amazing team of brothers and sisters running the mosque. It is the Wightman Road mosque in Turnpike Lane, North London. Ask the sisters how much nonsense they have to face from the so-called ‘practising’ Muslim brothers! Ask a Muslim woman how included she feels in the mosque? 
Many of the Mosques are not fit the purpose. In Islam, if a mosque excludes a woman from accessing it, then it should not even be called a mosque according to classical scholars. Dr Akram Nadwi discusses this in details in his translations and explanation of the book called “Lawfulness of women attending prayers in the mosque” by Ibn Hazm. When you exclude women from accessing the mosque why are you surprised when they leave the mosques? 
Mosques are not offering sufficient intellectually-based educational, spiritual and social space for our younger generations. They do not come to them because they are not attractive enough. I believe every mosque should have a full-time youth centre based in, or attached to it. A good portion of every Friday’s collection should be assigned to running youth service. Imagine the impact on a whole generation of Muslims who are disconnected from the most important Islamic space! Why should we be surprised to see them leaving Islam? 
3. Imams – For the last 30 years we have been complaining about Imams not speaking English. Now the majority speak English, but the complaints have not abated. Many are inadequately trained to serve their community. They may have knowledge of sharia (Islamic legal system), fiqh (Islamic jurisprudence) and seerah (biographies of the Prophet/s), but what use is it if Imams are unable to relate to the people they are meant to serve? What good are all the books in an Imam’s library, if he is unable to offer adequate intellectual responses to the many daily challenges our youth face? 
Many Imams do not get training in how to deal with the social issues the communities are facing, they do not get sufficient resources to support the community, and they do not even get paid enough to be able to focus in their job. Imams are supposed to be teachers of our children. If they are incompetent what will our children gain except incompetency! I have come across many horror stories of people who have left Islam because of their experience with their local Imam. Some of the awful experiences include being beaten black and blue while learning the Quran, and even experiencing sexual abuse at the hands of some rotten Imams. 
Imams need to be up-skilled to be able to meet the challenges of the community. They need safeguarding training, adequate salaries and resources, professional management, and mentorship by senior scholars. Imams need to respected for their work but also held accountable for their actions. We are all humans, without supervision and accountability we could fall prey of the whispers of Shaytan. Take measures to protect everyone before it’s too late. 
Many people leave Islam because their local Imams are not intellectually capable of responding to their challenging questions including questions on secularism, atheism, sexuality, LGBT and freedom etc. For the new generation, phrases like “God said and the Prophet said” are not enough. They want reasons, proof, evidence and intellectual rigour. People are desperately seeking a safe space to think critically, questions without barriers and doubt with judgment. The first step to knowledge is scepticism. Islam encourages critical thinking, questioning and doubting and Qur’an offers resounding proof of certainty. We need young people to know this and Imams need to promote it. If you cannot present Islam to the community properly why are you an Imam? 
There is a severe shortage of female Islamic scholars. We have failed to invest in institutions to train Muslim women to become Islamic scholars. Women have little opportunity to learn from male Islamic scholars and Imams. Culture plays a role, but Imams almost always stay in the male section of the prayer space. They should be equally accessible to both males and females in safe and secure spaces. Knowledge should not be a male commodity alone. 
When Imams are not able to answer questions adequately, present Islam intellectually or intelligently and are not accessible to women or youth, why are we surprised to see many people leaving Islam?
4. Bad parenting – The most important need of our children is to grow in a safe home. Their most significant teachers are their parents. Children, whose parents are absent or cannot get on with each other and whose family-life is dysfunctional, grow up with deep scars in their hearts and minds. If they see their parents preaching Islam at them, but failing to practice it, they feel let down, betrayed. Many children complain that their parents were the worst examples of Islam. 
Many Muslim children experience very little love when growing up. They may be rarely reassured with words of love, or given hugs, kisses or a tender touch. They grow up with an emotional deficit, and they believe this is due to Islam. Then perhaps, as they get older, if they encounter loving attention from others, they may be attracted to it. In some cases, they get into inappropriate emotional and sexual relationships, and the consequences can be dire. They leave Islam because they feel if Islam shaped their parents, they do not want to be shaped in the same way. 
Our children’s affinity to Islam is largely dependent on how we present Islam to them. We have to strike a balance between gentleness and discipline, leniency and firmness, between conservatism and moderation, between ritualised practices and intellectual underpinnings. We have to nurture our children’s natural dispositions and to inspire hope and aspirations in them. We have to allow our children to make mistakes and learn from them. We have to help our children keep on dreaming, even if their dreams change. 
When we have been a bad example of Islam and have displayed behaviour problems, why are we surprised that our children are leaving Islam? When we have told children that Islam is all about hell and punishment, the wrath of God and eternal damnation, why are we surprised when our children leave Islam? 
5. Ignorance – There is wholesale ignorance about Islam in our community. Religious literacy is not given priority. Professional qualifications take precedence over a solid intellectual foundation of Islamic principles. We have generations who have learned to read the Qur’an without any understanding of its meaning or underlying message, who have been taught rudimentary rituals of Islam, reminiscent of kindergarten level, and whose only connection with God is emotional. 
Many who leave Islam do not know much about their faith. They have no idea why they are even Muslim. They do not know why they pray. They do not understand Islam’s ethical and moral approach to life. They are just Muslims by virtue of being born in a Muslim family with their families emphasising halal meat and prayers. Why are we surprised when Muslims leave Islam? 
In Islam the first order of God is knowledge. It is through literacy and numeracy one can excel in every aspect of life including discovering God. It is through reading, writing and reflecting that one can find true enlightenment. Qur’an is all about reading, writing and reflecting. Did you know that approximately 5% of the Qur’an contains commandments in the form of permissible or prohibitions, the rest of the 95% of the Qur’an is all about deep reflection and contemplation? When the Muslim community suffers from a pandemic of religious illiteracy, why are we surprised when our children decide to leave Islam? 
6. Bad examples – In Muslim community whether in the UK or abroad, true examples of Islamic behaviour are not difficult to find, but sadly they are not widely known. However, bad examples of Islam are all around us. From Muslims claiming to follow Islam and then bombing innocent people, carrying out terrorist activities or setting up a so-called “Islamic state”, to Muslim governments in, for example, Saudi Arabia executing people arbitrarily, killing innocent men, women and children in Yemen out of a quarrel with neighbouring Iran; destroying democracy and establishing a dictatorship in Egypt; detaining people without charge in Algeria; banishing people in Bangladesh; mass-murdering people in Syria, and so on and so on.
We witness corruption in Muslim society at all levels. We see no justice or peace in Muslim majority countries. We see Muslims in the western countries causing trouble between themselves by fighting for mosque management positions, defrauding charities, conducting dishonest businesses, not paying taxes, working while claiming benefits, lying, cheating, selling drugs and getting involved in criminal activities. When our children grow up in or become witness to such behaviour amongst their fellow Muslims why are we surprised when they leave Islam? 
We know Islam does not teach corruption or terrorism, despotism or dictatorship; it teaches freedom, fairness, justice, excellence and compassion. It invites its followers to lead moral and ethical lives, to stand against shamelessness, evil and transgression. It teaches peaceful coexistence and moderation. Sadly, many Muslims do not follow the teachings of their faith. When young people are looking for good examples of their faith and they find it difficult what should they do? Why are we surprised when they leave Islam? 
Did you know that the Muslim population in the UK is less than 5% of the total population but they constitute more than 15% of the UK prison population? This must mean something! Why are there three times more Muslims in prison than there should be? In fact, we should not have any prisoners from Muslim families. When our children see such examples of Muslim society, they feel unimpressed, ashamed, disgusted and they often blame Islam for these ills. Why are we surprised when they leave Islam? 
7. Abuse – Many young people have experienced verbal and physical abuse in their homes at the hands of their patents. Being parents does not give you the right to beat your children and verbally abuse them. Children are a gift and a beauty in our lives, they are creations of God. Any abuse of our children is an abuse of God’s gift. When Muslim parents use Islam to demand their rights from their children, but fail to deliver a safe, loving and nurturing space for their children’s physical, emotional and spiritual growth, they have either been neglectful or abusive to their children. When a child experiences abuse at the hands of their parents they remain scared forever. We should not be surprised when children who have experienced abuse, choose to leave Islam. 
I have reports of many who have experienced sexual abuse from their family members. When Muslims claim sexual purity and chastity and then these children experience sexual abuse from the very people who have been preaching to them about sexual propriety, they feel angry at the hypocrisy. Violating a child is a crime that requires the maximum punishment. It requires society to come together and protect our children. In many cases, children have experienced awful abuse but seen their families and community remain silent or brush it under the carpet. In some cases, children were blamed for talking about it and accused of making up stories. How do you think children feel under such circumstances? Why are you surprised when some of them leave Islam because you are a Muslim and you have perpetrated such a crime or remained silent? 
8. Dull – Many children experience Islam without much fun. They remember how Islam was all about “don’t do this” and “do this”, a constant barrage of instructions. Some say they remember so many things that were haram, it felt like everything was haram. They were not allowed to laugh or joke too much as they were told that Allah does not like it. They were told to pray, fast and read the Qur’an, but not have fun; that they should always remember death and the hereafter, and not get too attached to the joys of life; that they should not watch much TV or go to the cinema because it was sinful. They felt that the element of fun was removed from their childhood because of Islam. 
Even in adult life, they see Muslims who get upset over cartoons, comedies or can’t even take a joke. Islam has become associated with being dull and boring. I hear this from many young people in colleges and universities. They say Islam is too restrictive. It does not allow them to do much. They have got this idea from their observation of Muslims and often of their families. 
I tell them that they would be hard-pressed to find too many rules or restrictions in Islam. The Highway Code, that you must learn if you want to drive, contains more rules than the whole of Islam. However, the criticism of some Muslims being rigid and dull is not unfounded. I sometimes remind older generations to cast their mind to a time when they were young. Islam doesn’t mean dull and boring life – it encourages all good things as long as they are ethical and moral. Have fun and enjoy what God has given you in abundance. 
Sadly, I don’t find it surprising that many young people chose to leave Islam because of their bad experiences with Muslims. We have to listen to the experience of our children and change. We have to live Islam authentically, honestly and with confidence. We have to present Islam intellectually and smartly and most importantly we have to exemplify Islam in our life if we want our children to remain Muslim. 


I say to those who are considering leaving Islam or have left Islam to pause and think – do not judge Islam by Muslims’ behaviour, rather judge Muslims by the teachings of Islam. If you study Islam with an open mind and heart you may find the answers you are looking for. I did!

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Current Affairs articles

A Point of View

There are a lot of people saying mosques should be closed completely; no Jumuah Salah and no daily congregation in place and we must seize all activity. As precautionary and sensible as this sounds, we need to be mindful of many factors before such extreme measures are taken.

What role does the Masjid play in the Muslim community?

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏ “‏ سَبْعَةٌ يُظِلُّهُمُ اللَّهُ فِي ظِلِّهِ يَوْمَ لاَ ظِلَّ إِلاَّ ظِلُّهُ الإِمَامُ الْعَادِلُ، وَشَابٌّ نَشَأَ فِي عِبَادَةِ رَبِّهِ، وَرَجُلٌ قَلْبُهُ مُعَلَّقٌ فِي الْمَسَاجِدِ، وَرَجُلاَنِ تَحَابَّا فِي اللَّهِ اجْتَمَعَا عَلَيْهِ وَتَفَرَّقَا عَلَيْهِ، وَرَجُلٌ طَلَبَتْهُ امْرَأَةٌ ذَاتُ مَنْصِبٍ وَجَمَالٍ فَقَالَ إِنِّي أَخَافُ اللَّهَ‏.‏ وَرَجُلٌ تَصَدَّقَ أَخْفَى حَتَّى لاَ تَعْلَمَ شِمَالُهُ مَا تُنْفِقُ يَمِينُهُ، وَرَجُلٌ ذَكَرَ اللَّهَ خَالِيًا فَفَاضَتْ عَيْنَاهُ ‏”‏‏.‏

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Allah will give shade, to seven, on the Day when there will be no shade but His. (These seven persons are) a just ruler, a youth who has been brought up in the worship of Allah (i.e. worships Allah sincerely from childhood), a man whose heart is attached to the mosques (i.e. to pray the compulsory prayers in the mosque in congregation), two persons who love each other only for Allah’s sake and they meet and part in Allah’s cause only, a man who refuses the call of a charming woman of noble birth for illicit intercourse with her and says: I am afraid of Allah, a man who gives charitable gifts so secretly that his left hand does not know what his right hand has given (i.e. nobody knows how much he has given in charity), and a person who remembers Allah in seclusion and his eyes are then flooded with tears.”

For many of us, the Masjid is our fortress, our sanctuary, a safe haven for others, I would call it the Muslim man’s castle.

We all know what the doctors and medical professionals are advising, we are all well versed with the statistics of the media, but in all of this, doesn’t Allah matter? Doesn’t the Prophet ﷺ matter? Doesn’t the Quran mean anything? Doesn’t the Hadith mean anything? We need to strike a balance.

Like most things in the Muslim community, we have two extremes; the doctors and medics are saying, “Close all the masajid!” And certain Imams and Muftis are insisting to keep open, with restrictions.  Please refer to the Hadith above where it clearly shows attachment to the Masjid is a sign of Iman. Either way, we should be upset at the Masajid closing, not apathetic or hasty.

Where is the balance?

We need to have restrictions and be firm with the people and if that means sending certain people home, do it for everyone’s benefit. Some Masajid are being too lenient, they have rules, but don’t implement them. If the elderly are told not to come, stay vigilant in this even if it means sending them back home. Same applies to those with symptoms, they should be sent home with a firm warning.

It’s not an easy decision closing Masajid and this is why people are getting emotional. Remember the Hadith when the Prophet SAW was forced to leave Makkah?

Ibn ‘Abbas (Allah be pleased with him) narrated: “The Prophet (Allah be pleased with him) said, addressing Makkah: “How good you are as a land and how dear you are to my heart! Had your people not forced me out of you, I would have never come out and left you and would have never resided in any other city but you.” (At-Tirmidhi)

Personally, the decision should come from those who actually attend the Masjid regularly, whether they are a doctor, an Imam or a Mufti. It seems insensitive to have these decisions regulated by someone who doesn’t come to the Masjid frequently or simply attends for Jumuah Salah. This may sound unreasonable to some people, but some of us rely solely on the Masjid and its activities for our Iman, be it Salah, Adhkar, Dua and Bayans. Safeguarding Iman is also important, just like preserving our health, we don’t hear this [balance] from people who are saying close the Masajid. If a brother or sister doesn’t feel safe coming to the Masjid, because they are more prone to illnesses or vulnerable or have weaker faith, then they are advised to stay at home, but let others continue to come with restrictions in place.

Did the Prophet ﷺ pray at home in Rain?

Once, on a cold night, Ibn `Umar (Allah be pleased with him) pronounced the Adhan for the prayer at Dajnan (the name of a mountain) and then said, “Pray at your homes”, and informed us that Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) used to tell the Mu’adh-dhin to pronounce Adhan and say, “Pray at your homes” at the end of the Adhan on a rainy or a very cold night during the journey.” (Bukhari)

This Hadeeth is authentic, but what needs to be remembered here is that this was for one night or two. This wasn’t the ruling for several weeks or months. 50,000 Sahabah (Allah be pleased with them) died from the Plague of Amwaas. How many Masajid were closed? When Uthman (Allah be pleased with them) was made Shaheed, was the Masjid shut? Despite people rebelling and threatening lives. Let’s be fair, instead of cherry-picking Hadeeth and shopping for Fatwas.

Contagious Diseases in Islam

Bukhari (5776) and Muslim (2224) narrated from Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “There is no ‘adwa (transmission of infectious disease without the permission of Allah) and no tiyarah (superstitious belief in bird omens), but I like good omens.” They said: What is a good omen?” He said: “A good word.” 

The words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) “There is no ‘adwa” are general in meaning, thus the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) states that there is no contagion (without the permission of Allah). 

‘Adwa (contagion) refers to the spread of a disease from a sick person to a healthy one. What happens in the case of physical diseases may also happen in the case of psychological diseases. Hence, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said that a bad companion is the like one who operates the bellows: Either he will burn your clothes, or you will notice a bad smell from him. 

The words “there is no ‘adwa” include both physical and psychological diseases, even though it is more apparent with regard to physical disease. 

This does not mean that these things do not happen, because they do happen. Rather it is a statement that they do not have any effect. The One Who causes things to happen is Allah. If any of these things has a known effect then that is valid and real; if any of them is imagined to have an effect, then that is invalid and false. Thus, the hadeeth demonstrates that if there is a valid effect, it cannot be attributed to that thing itself (rather the One Who causes it to happen is Allah). If the effect is merely imagined, then this hadeeth is stating that it has no effect in the first place. 

With regard to the words “no contagion (‘adwa)”: contagion is something that happens, as is indicated by the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), “Do not put a sick one with a healthy one” i.e. the owner of a sick camel should not bring it to the owner of a healthy camel, lest the contagion be transmitted. 

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) also said: “Flee from the leper as you would flee from a lion.”, Leprosy is a serious disease that is transmitted quickly and kills the one who catches it. It was even said to be a plague. Hence, the command to flee from the leper so that the disease will not be transmitted from him to you. This is an affirmation of the effect of contagion, but its effect is not inevitable in such a way that it affects people by itself. The command of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) to flee and not to bring sick camels to where healthy camels are, comes under the heading of avoiding the means (that lead to sickness), not attributing the effect to the means themselves. The means do not affect anything themselves, but we should avoid the things that may be a cause of the the calamity, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And do not throw yourselves into destruction” [al-Baqarah 2:195]

We cannot say that the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was denying the effect of contagion, because contagion is something that is proven to exist in real life and is mentioned in other ahadeeth. 

When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said “there is no ‘adwa”, a man said: “O Messenger of Allah, the camels may be healthy like deer, then a mangy camel comes and mixes with them and they all get the mange.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “And who infected the first one?” meaning that the disease came to the first one with no contagion, rather it came from Allah. By the same token, if it was transmitted by contagion, then it was transmitted by the command of Allah. A thing may have a known cause or it may not have a known cause. The mange of the first one does not have a known cause, apart from the fact that it happened by the will and decree of Allah, and the mange that came after it does have a known cause. But if Allah wills the camel will not become mangy.  Hence, sometimes a camel may get the mange but then it recovers and does not die. The same happens with the plague and cholera; they may enter a house and some may get sick and die, while others are not affected at all.

We HAVE to put our trust in Allah and depend on Him. It was narrated that a leper came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and he took him by the hand and said, “Eat,” i.e., eat of the food that the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was eating– because of the strength of his trust in Allah. This trust counteracts the causes of contagion. 

What we have referred to above is the best way of reconciling between the ahadeeth. 

Based on this, what is meant by the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) “no ‘adwa (contagion)” is that disease is not transmitted from a sick person to a healthy one by itself, rather it is transmitted by the will and decree of Allah. If a sick person mixes with healthy ones this is one of the causes of the transmission of disease. But this does not mean that it will inevitably happen, rather it only happens if Allah wills it. Hence we often see a sick mother give birth to a healthy child, but the disease is not transmitted to the infant. 

Conclusion

Before closing the Masajid, the above points must be taken into consideration, exactly what Islam says about contagious diseases and the role the Masjid plays. When calamities arose the Prophet actually turned to the Masjid and turned to Allah, here we are, doing the opposite and saying Ulama and Muftis are narrow-minded and have the backward mentality. It’s because many people saying these things are not regular goers to the Masjid, they are armchair critics. I reiterate the people attending the Masjid MUST make the decision for Masjid closure, be it, Imam or health professionals. And please take it in steps, rather than complete lockdown. Cut down Salah in the Masjid, from 5 to 4 to 3, etc. Rather than 5 to 0. Allah grant us all ease, hope and mercy in these testing times, Allah grant us his light and generosity in these dark times.

Ismail ibn Nazir Satia (one who is in dire need of Allah’s forgiveness, mercy and pleasure).

25 Rajab 1441

Categories
Ramadhan

9 Things to Consider Before You Give Charity

  1. The first and most important point is to make sure the charity is Shariah Compliant. Let us not be naïve and think everything that has the words “Islam” or “Islamic” before it, is according to Qur’an and Hadith. Many charities do activities which are violating the laws of Allah SWT, you do not need to be a Mufti/Scholar to know this. For example, mixed events, music in their videos, qawwali is becoming common, fashion shows and makeup tutorials… the list goes on. Every sane Muslim knows these things are totally wrong in the name of Islam.
  2. Make sure the charity is under the supervision of at least one Alim or a group of qualified scholars. We see charities opening on every street corner, many of these brothers and sisters do not have knowledge of the basics of Islam. They are collecting our Zakah and Sadaqah, how can we guarantee it will be distributed correctly and accurately?
  3. Give to needy charities and not the GREEDY ones! You should be giving your money to the neediest places and the neediest charities. Some charities accumulate 40-50 million pounds a year, others are very close. Check their annual reports or search on the Charity Commission Website. Check to see how much of that money is being spent, why give your Zakah to a charity that still hoards last year’s Zakah?
  4. Ask your charity if they take admin costs for Zakah and Sadaqah, some charities take astronomical amounts! Although it is permissible to take from Sadaqah, one must ask a local Mufti if it is permissible to take admin costs from Zakah: https://islamqa.org/hanafi/qibla-hanafi/37024
  5. Ask your charity how quickly they distribute Zakah. As mentioned in point 3, some charities get millions every year. A lot of this money is hoarded in their bank accounts as they are unable to spend this money instantly. Which could mean your charity still has last year’s Zakah gathered up! Do you really want to give them this year’s Zakah? Some charities have a 30-day policy i.e. they distribute your Zakah within 30 days, I personally think this is an excellent idea.
  6. Don’t be ashamed to ask how much they pay their employees, their PR managers and the CEO. We hear about charities taking ridiculous wages due to help from Gift Aid etc. Unfortunately, the concept of kindness and consideration is disappearing from some charitable people.
  7. “You donate for the sake of Allah!” I am sure you have all heard this one before? Some defensive charity workers reply with the above statement when questioned about their practises and money management. The statement is incompetent and uneducated. Just because we donate for Allah does NOT mean in any way, shape or form we cannot question people. It is our God-given right, we are living in 21st Century Britain.
  8. Now we come on to charities collecting door-to-door. Most of us, unfortunately, donate blindly, we do not ask for a receipt, nor a charity reg number. Some of these people are not even Muslim, they just grow a beard and wear a hat or hijab for women. We must follow protocol, and ask for a certificate where it applies. We need to get rid of our ignorance and stop saying, “We donate for Allah and it is all in his hands” Definitely, you donate for Allah, but does that mean you donate to thieves and crooks because of your sheer naivety? Learn to ask a few questions, ask for their website (give it a quick google search on the doorstep), their head office location, which countries they work in etc.
  9. Make an intention, The intention is important for Zakah. AS for Sadaqah/Lillah most of us give Ma Sha Allah, very generously. But we do not make an intention, for esale thawab, for Shifa, safety from calamities, multiple intentions can be made In Sha Allah. Allah accept from one and all. Ameen.

Ismail ibn Nazir Satia (one who is in dire need of Allah’s forgiveness, mercy and pleasure)

10 Ramadhan 1440

Categories
Current Affairs articles

Dear Friend,

https://news.sky.com/story/new-zealand-mosque-shootings-suspected-killer-is-fascist-who-had-contact-with-breivik-11666136
Beautifully written by a Chinese Convert sister. (It is written to the killer who attacked Muslims in New Zealand)

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

download
(I) Appreciate that you made the effort to find out the timing of our noon prayer.
Appreciate that you learnt more about our religion to know that Fridays are the days the men go to the Mosques for their congregational prayers.
But I guess there were some things you, rather, unfortunately, didn’t get to learn.

Perhaps you didn’t know that what you did made them Martyrs.

new-zealand-attack-5.jpg
A Muslim Martyr bearing witness to the Shahadah at the time of death

And how you have single-handedly raised the statuses of our brothers and sisters in the eyes of their beloved Creator with your actions. And how, through your actions, they will be raised as the most righteous and pious of Muslims.
Perhaps you didn’t know that doing what you did, at the time and place you chose, it actually meant that the last words that escaped their lips were probably words of remembrance and praise of Allah. Which is a noble end many Muslims could only dream of.
And perhaps you didn’t know, but what you did would almost guarantee them paradise. new-zealand-attack-7.jpg
Appreciate that you showed the world how Muslims welcome, with open arms, even people like yourself into our Mosques, which is our second home.
Appreciate you for showing that our mosques have no locks or gates, and are unguarded because everyone and anyone is welcome to be with us.
Appreciate you for allowing the world to see the powerful image of a man you injured, lying on back on the stretcher with his index finger raised high, as a declaration of his faith and complete trust in Allah.
Appreciate how you brought the Churches and communities together to stand with us Muslims.
Appreciate that you made countless New Zealanders come out of their homes to visit the mosques nearest to them with flowers with beautiful messages of peace and love.
You have broken many many hearts and you have made the world weep. You have left a huge void.
But what you also have done have brought us closer together. And it has strengthened our faith and resolve.
In the coming weeks, more people will turn up in the Mosques, a place you hate so much, fortified by the strength in their faith, and inspired by their fallen brothers and sisters.
In the coming weeks, more non-Muslims will turn up at the gates of mosques with fresh flowers and beautifully handwritten notes. They may not have known where the mosques in their area were. But now, they do. All because of you.
You may have achieved your aim of intended destruction, but I guess you failed to incite hatred, fear and despair in all of us.
And while I understand that it may have been your objective, I hate to say that after all of that elaborate planning, and the perverse and wretched efforts on your part, you still failed to drive a divide among the Muslims and non-Muslims in the world.
For that, I can’t say that I’m sorry.
(A Radiant Muslim)
Shaykh Zahir Mahmood on the attacks – MOTIVATIONAL!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hm8HCeAMoZE
Categories
Marriage

Love Notes – Part 2

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Opinions on Marriage

  1. Marriage will make me a better Muslim. FALSE.
  2. Marriage will protect me from falling into fitnah and haram. FALSE.
  3. Marriage will make me live happily ever after. FALSE.
  4. In marriage, you cannot hate the person you love FALSE.
    One of the strangest things about love: the person you love the most…it’s a fine line between despicable hate and love.
    Genuine love can transform into hate bc you’re investing so much love in that person.
    Healthiest marriages: achieve equilibrium between love and hate knowing it’s okay to hate things the person does.
  5. Marriage will heal all my past wounds. FALSE.
  6. Marriage is a piece of cake if you marry the right person. FALSE
  7. Marriage benefits men more than women FALSE
  8. Love is enough to sustain a marriage. FALSE.
    The economy is rough LOL – when the economy is rough, divorce skyrockets
    Prophet (SAW) – One of the things we look for in marriage is “Maaliha”, her wealth.
  9. Religious practising Muslims have a perfect marriage. FALSE.
  10. Marriage is a natural process that you can figure out on your own. FALSE.

○ requires thought, DETERMINATION
○ Prophet (SAW) to Jabir (RA), a man who told him got engaged: “did you look into her eyes” – meaning did you find love in her eyes? Did you spend enough time looking into her eyes to know she’s the one? Marriage isn’t something you just come by!

Most of the marriages that occurred in the time of the Sahabah RA were not familial, rather they were cross-cultural.
Bilal RA did not marry someone from Habshah.
The Prophet Muhammad SAW married Mariyah RA she was from Egyptian background. He SAW married Safiyyah RA and she was from a Jewish background.
They did not always marry their cousins or within the family and the same caste.

When you are looking for marriage – you need to make sure your soul is accessible to pious souls – don’t always put it on the other person

1. Optional love:

You lead yourself to love and you fall deeper in love. It can grow if you allow it to grow; you need to take concrete steps, not just sit back and wait.
■ eg: your love for your spouse gets deeper as the relationship progresses
■ there are things you didn’t know that you love today, and things you loved then that you love in a different way now
■ We live today in an era with a lot of “popcorn love” → it’s not how I met your mother; it’s how many people met your mother
● The types of love that we are fed is a vain type of imagery and people make millions off of it – it’s AN INDUSTRY
● eg: Adele’s Someone Like You – national anthem of a home wrecker. This is the kind of woman you want to keep away from your husband. — THAT’S WHAT’S PUT OUT THERE AS A LOVE SONG… but it’s actually the love of desire
● We raise a generation of people that think that a booty call is acceptable, that someone can ring her up at 9pm.

Surah Al’Imran:14
“Beautified for people is the love of that which they desire- of women and sons, heaped-up sums of gold and silver, fine branded horses, and cattle and tilled land. That is the enjoyment of worldly life, but Allah has with Him the best return.”
■ “Beautified for people is the love they desire…”
● what they love is what they want to do with the person for a certain amount of time
● the guy/girl that compromises your relationship FSA, they don’t love you – they love, the desire (difference b/w love and love of desire): عشق andحب

Imam Ibnul Qayyim RH differentiates between ■ a was عشق whilst love noble and pure was حب says

He  has forbidden, beyond the limits type of love. قشع is when someone goes to haram measures to be with the one they love outward same, set Allah boundaries the cross you – عشق ● characteristics as love
○ Anything you do in the name of love through sin/ compromising Allah’s boundaries is NOT love. Anything you do would you where love flaming that is عشق ○ for that person, that anything is what puts you in trouble
عشق as someone to love your explaining avoid to Try ○
○ If someone is willing to compromise their relationship with Allah SWT, then nothing is stopping them from compromising you to have you why is that→ حب from your prevents عشق heal and purify your soul from the love of desire
● The difference is simple, Allah loves when you love, بح , Allah loves that, but when you are upsetting Allah, that is قشع
● love is conciliatory, it’s being able to talk about the difficult things – “I didn’t like the way you said that”
○ you’re a tree that’s planted deep, not just fluff- you know the person is there to stay
○ 2. Non-Optional love
■ we’re asked to guard our gaze against the Haraam because we can fall for the unattainable
■ That love is not Haram, but acting upon it in Haram means is! The Sight/Eyes
● Hijab is not about the beauty of the women
○ if it WAS that, prophet Yusuf would need a hijab Lol (women cut their hands upon seeing him)
○ Yusuf AS when they saw him they would say, Allahu Akbar, and they would cut their hands → if it was about beauty, then Allah would have put a niqab on him.
○ that wasn’t the logical step
○ Cultural construct: Khateeb says something like “summer’s here bros, be careful” → cage them before they POUNCE 😛 → THIS IS A PERVERSION
■ sexuality and nudity was much more rampant at the time of Prophet (SAW)
■ At that time, if a woman was owned, a woman would be forbidden from covering above the navel… that is how pervasive nudity was
■ Paternity was so loose, that when someone was married they were married to the tribe, anyone from the tribe would lay claim to her
○ That is why we are told to guard our eyes → it is your duty as a man to run away from the Haram, it is inexcusable to say “I couldn’t help it”; it was much worse in other places
○ It is a sexist thing we have in our community is that we lower the standard of men; that is not Islamic
● One of the issues in marriage is a man who cannot guard his eyes – it is not embarrassing just for the women, it is embarrassing for him in front of Allah SWT.
● the sight is the quickest access to the soul/heart
○ Prophet (SAW) – that’s why you close the eyes of the deceased
○ Prophet (SAW) – The sinful glance is a sinful arrow of Iblis that strikes the heart
○ The eye is the easiest gate to the heart
○ There is no sinfulness in a man looking at a woman for identifying them, or doing something professional; the only problem is the fitnah in the heart
■ If you appreciate a person as a sexual being, then that is when you turn away
○ Prophet (ﷺ) telling Ali (RA) – the first look is for you. But if you return your gaze for a sinful reason (ie to “check them out”) then it’s sinful.

Narrated `Abdullah bin `Abbas RA: Al-Fadl RA (his brother) was riding behind Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) and a woman from the tribe of Khath’am came and Al-Fadl RA started looking at her and she started looking at him. The Prophet (ﷺ) turned Al-Fadl’s RA face to the other side. The woman said, “O Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ)! The obligation of Hajj enjoined by Allah on His devotees has become due on my father and he is old and weak, and he cannot sit firm on the Mount; may I perform Hajj on his behalf?” The Prophet (ﷺ) replied, “Yes, you may.” That happened during the Hajj-al-Wida (of the Prophet (ﷺ).
Sitting behind the Prophet (ﷺ)
○ Ibn Abbas RA said, “a woman of spectacular beauty came up to Prophet (SAW)”
○ Ibn Abbas RA noticed the beauty and restrained himself so Prophet (SAW) didn’t turn his face
○ However Al Fadl RA was, so he turned his face for him
● During the time of the Prophet SAW, segregation was not a rule,
○ Prophet (SAW) stood on a pulpit at a woman’s request – so she could see him during khutbas
○ the same pulpit is going to be beside Al-Kauthar on the Day of Judgement

**SIDE NOTE** We will all pass through the sirat through Jahanam, each at different paces (based on your answer regarding your relationship with Allah)
● When we walk through we will say “Praise be to Allah who saved me from your torture”
● Then you will walk through the qantara ( a bridge), and that is when you will have to make the recompense for the wrong you have done to others
● Those that will have most against us are those that we have spent most time with..it’s there you’ll find your wife, kids…
● not an easy journey to set balance straight with others Pornography
● one of the most proliferated vices
● technology is driven by this proliferation
● around the time of VHS, Sony tried to patent “Beta”
○ Sony was owned and operated out of Japan
○ Japan = very ethical
○ Pornography industry wanted to use Sony for filming…
○ execs said no thanks
○ VHS said “okay let’s do it!”
○ Sony developed Blu-Ray gave access to porn industry to
○ → the web applications you and I use are primarily driven by companies that want you to watch their porn
● sociologists say it’s impossible to escape your teen years without exposure to some kind of pornography
● Addicting – Mind has these synapses, you watch something and you want it more
● BUT luckily your brain has this “use it or lose it” function – if you stop watching this kind of stuff

Story of Mughith RA and Bareerah RA

Bareerah RA was a female slave and A’ishah RA was interested in buying her. She was married to Mughith, and Ai’shah freed her (they were married in slavery); a free woman cannot marry a slave man, so after she became free, she had the choice to keep this marriage or to ask for the dissolution of the marriage. She said, “Alhamdulillah, I’m tired of this marriage, I’m going to get out.” Mugheeth loved her so much, sincerely and
honestly. After she left him, he couldn’t take it, so he went into public weeping, chasing
her, asking her “Ya Bareerah just look at me or talk to me.” He went to sahabah and said,
“Please talk to her for me (to Abu Bakr and Umar and at the end, even to the Prophet (ﷺ) to ask him to intercede. So Prophet (ﷺ), (as the mercy for mankind) felt sorry for him, and he said he’d do it. When he went to Bareerah, she asked, “Are you commanding me or are you just interceding?” The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “I’m interceding.” She replied, “If this is the case, then I don’t want him”, and since all else failed, he spent his life chasing after her and crying for her. “The husband of Bareerah was a slave called Mughith. It is as if I can see him now, walking behind her and weeping, with tears running down his cheeks. The Prophet (ﷺ) said to ‘Abbas RA: ‘O Abbas RA, are you not amazed by the love of Mugheeth for Bareerah, and the hatred of Bareerah for Mughith?’

And the Prophet (ﷺ) said to her: Why don’t you take him back, for he is the father of your child?’ She said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, are you commanding me (to do so)?’ He said: ‘No, rather I am interceding.’ She said: ‘I have no need of him.’ ”

THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
Two Major Theories on Love (according to marriage therapists)

  1. Bank Account Theory
    ● When a relationship develops, it is like you opened a bank account with them
    ● You deposit feelings and actions and emotions and you expect a reciprocation or “debit”
    ● It makes people feel like the person is drawing more than they are credited.
    ● ihdina siraat al mustaqeem
    ○ istiqamah – balance. So that if it shakes, you don’t fall over.
    ○ You don’t take out more than what’s in the bank 2. Gas Tank Theory
    ● most brothers don’t mind coasting with the yellow light on
    ○ in counselling: I didn’t know anything was wrong
    ● sisters – don’t wait till the breaking point
    ○ in counselling: I was giving him so many yellow lights
    ● we think about the same problems in different ways

A Husband’s Guide to Ruining a Good Marriage

  1. Show thankfulness to everyone for kindness to show you except your wife. Let your wife see you CAPABLE of saying thanks to others, but INCAPABLE of showing gratitude to the person who shares your life.
  2. Mention your wife’s faults. Keep them on file. Use the mistakes she’s made to cover your own stupidity.
  3. Randomly/unnecessarily spend time out of the house, for no reason…and when she calls you, don’t answer.
  4. Be connected to all your social media/devices simultaneously and ask her to make you a sandwich. Do all of that while the kids are up and she gets aggravated.
  5. Monitor her level of attire and conduct…all while watching mature content on TV (not just porn…just TV shows of people dressed inappropriately).
  6. Say things like “kids…what kids? Am I responsible for them?” Be that absent father
  7. Argue and fight in front of your kids because your kids need memories, those loving moments of tenderness.
  8. Say things like, “I forbid you” and “you’re not allowed” and “I command you” (because she’s 2 years old and you can’t have a conversation while sharing each other’s view).
  9. Strike, push, shove your wife – and then feel bad and say, “I’m sorry, but you’re the one who ____” as if it’s her fault as if there was anything that warranted your hostility.
  10. Spend a lot of your disposable income on luxury items…but refuse to pay AlMaghrib course costs because Islam should be for free.
  11. Put down your wife’s cooking, attire, shape, clothes…in front of your family and say “I’m just joking!”
  12. When you walk beside her in public, don’t lower your gaze. Instead, sleazily check out other women. Because that’s classy.
  13. Be insensitive, quiet, withdrawn, sarcastic all day…and at night expect intimacy
  14. Motivate her by comparing her to your own sisters, friend’s wives, etc …And keep her at the bottom of the list
  15. Never reconsider a decision you made after she advises you she’s wrong because she will never respect you thereafter so she should never win those arguments.
  16. Show how close you’ve come together by sharing your vulgar sounds and smells at random moments of the day and night.

A Wife’s Guide to Ruining a Good Marriage

  1. Forget that hijab begins within as an attitude and not just fabric. Act/talk in weird ways. Forget that hijab is not in the clothes that you wear but the attitude that you have.
  2. Tell your friends near and far about your family problems in detail and tell them “shh don’t tell anyone” because of course, they’ll keep it.
  3. Nagging is an art. You must perfect it. The more you repeat yourself, the better he will understand you
  4. When your husband is tense, stressed and had a bad day…push his button. You know the button.
  5. Your Motto: Treat them mean, so they’ll be keen. If you soften and they see it as a weakness, they’ll walk all over you
  6. When you’re upset with each other privately, make sure you let the kids know how horrible he is.
  7. RUIN – Intimacy is a weapon. Randomly/ for no apparent reason, restrict it, just to teach him a lesson.
  8. When your friends get a new TV, you get a Smart TV. When they get bling, you get bling bling. Keep up with the Patels.
  9. If your husband is having troubles with his parents/siblings, stick your nose in it. Everyone will love you later. a. if he asks for your advice…say you love them at least neutral/distant
  10. Get your father and mother to talk to him about problems you have with him that you never shared with him…surprise!
  11. The silent treatment IS communication. There’s nothing wrong with keeping him guessing.
  12. If your husband succeeds in something, don’t encourage him…you don’t want him to think he’s special but if he makes a mistake, bury him.
  13. Argue in front of your children. In fact, use vulgarity in front of your kids in front of each other.
  14. Say things like, “I don’t trust you”, “why are you late”, “where are you going” – without cause for suspicion…because no man can be trusted.
  15. TV-ing is a verb. Always have the TV on. It’s a good babysitter and it passes the time. Always let it be part of your home life.
  16. When you feel that spark of love is missing, by recalling past loves and make him feel that your thoughts are still with them

Love in the Sunnah pg 81
→ He didn’t just marry to help people, or just for sexual appetite.
→ Sometimes people asked him to marry them and he wasn’t interested, some of the prophet’s wives weren’t “sexually available” so that’s not why he married them

  1. When you eat, eat with her
    ○ it’s kind of a vulgar translation to say, “when you eat, feed with her”
    ○ Prophet (SAW) never ate from a plate alone
    ○ That’s why you can give even half a date
    ○ Way to a man’s heart is through his stomach
    ○ There’s comfort/barakah in food
    ○ Prophet (SAW) – make sure the people who have open access to your food (because of frankness) are people of piety
  1. When you buy yourself something, buy her something as well
    ○ it’s not about what you buy her – it’s about when you think about yourself, you think about your spouse
    ○ People wouldn’t gift the prophet without gifting Aisha (RA) a gift – other wives were jealous sometimes
  1. Seek her counsel
    ○ When Prophet (ﷺ) said “she obeyed her husband” – it’s qualitative. There’s no obedience to anyone unless there’s obedience to Allah
    ○ Day of Hudaibiyya – rumour spreads that Uthman has been killed. so they make a treaty under a tree to avenge his death…but it was a false alarm
    ○ …Prophet (SAW) took counsel with Umm Salamah
  1. Seat her where you sit=
    ○ sit together
    ○ Prophet (ﷺ) would have a cushion and when his wife/daughter would come in, he’d give it to her
  1. What you ask of her, be willing to give her
    ○ Surat Al Baqarah
    ○ Abdullah Ibn Abbas, one of the greatest mufassiroon, would get ready (clothes, smelling, looking nice) to go into his home – his students would be like why are you getting ready to go into your house instead of getting ready upon leaving
    ■ lahunna….(for her what u expect of her?)
  1. Say “I love you” often and show it through your consistent behaviour – Who do you love the most?
    ○ “don’t tell me you love me…why…because my parents”
    ○ ‘Aisha (May Allah Be Pleased With Her) would often seek reassurance from The Prophet (Peace & Blessings Be Upon Him) that he loved her. “How is your love for me?” she once asked. “Like the rope’s knot,” The more you pull at it and stress it, the stronger it gets. Many times after that she would ask, “How is the knot?” and he would reply:” “The same as the first day it was tied!”
    ○ Prophet (SAW) had sweat on his brow and…Aisha related it to the poetry about the blessed nature of his sweat… being like the pearls in the ocean. Prophet (SAW) came over, kissed her forehead and said “you’re more beloved to me than all of them” ♥
    ○ Ali RA came home and saw Fatimah brushing her teeth with miswak and he started spouting poetry to the toothbrush “no one got to that place before me like you, if you were a man I would have killed you, etc.”
    ○ Three qualities of being a MAN in Arabic folklore
    ■ courageous in battle
    ■ eloquent in words
    ■ passionate about family
  2. Be generous with your money on her and your children
    ○ spend on your family
    ○ Prophet (ﷺ) – charity with the greatest barakah is the money spent on the family
    ■ lan tanalul birr
    ■ Abu Talha upon the revelation of the verse said “I have these two gardens”…Prophet (SAW) said no, distribute it among your fam 8. Travel together
    ○ Prophet (SAW) always took along a wife on his travels.
    ○ There were 2 instances when Aisha (RA) lost her necklace.
    ○ Tayammum was a result of Aisha (RA) losing her necklace in a place with no water, and they spent so much time looking for it that they had to stay till morning, and everyone was upset because they couldn’t do wudhu, so Allah SWT sent the ayat regarding tayammum○ Everyone has heard of the hadith regarding Aisha and Prophet SAW racing, but it wasn’t an olympic style race…Shaykh Yahya would say that “they romantically frolicked through the sand dunes of Arabia”
  3. Let her feel your concern for her well-being
    ○ Safiyyah comes to masjid where Prophet (SAW) is doing i’tikaf to talk to Prophet (SAW)…and he left the i’tikaf to walk her home
  4. Show chivalry (mar’oo-a)
    ○ one of the things we don’t demonstrate enough – you do the best of what is right) – sense of honour that you’re the server (open door, serve food
    ○ Prophet (SAW) the server should always be the last to eat
    ○ Safiyyah RA – wanted to get on top of a camel but she was too short…so the Prophet (SAW) got the camel to come down but she still couldn’t reach. So he gets down on a knee and she steps on top of it to get on the camel
  1. Be flexible & Humorous
    ○ Aisha (RA) was younger – not much experience in housework, cooking.
    ○ Aisha (RA) once cooked something and presented it to Prophet (SAW)
    ○ When Prophet (SAW) didn’t like a dish, he never said no to it but suggested an alternative.
    ○ Prophet (SAW) suggested going over to Sawdah’s house
    ■ When Sawdah came out with the meal, Aisha (RA) was jealous so she smacked down the plate, it fell and broke.
    ■ Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Why don’t you try it, maybe you’ll like it?” – diffuses the situation, doesn’t call her out on her jealousy
    ○ Then when he got home, he said: “You liked her food, so why don’t you send her a plate of your food?” – This way, he subtly got Aisha to replace the dish she broke.
  2. Kissable & Hygienic
    ○ Prophet (ﷺ) was very affectionate
    ○ Prophet (ﷺ) would kiss his wives before leading prayer – but he had the strength of a 1000 men – it was to make them feel loved, out of intimacy, not sexually
  3. Nicknames
    ○ Prophet (ﷺ) had nicknames for his wives, he would call Aisha “Ya Eish” – that it is through her that he gets “Eish” (life)
  4. Closer than your garment
    ○ hadith about bathing from a bowl with dough residue in it
    ○ allowance to bathe with the spouse
    ○ Ibn Hajar RH derives a lot of fiqh from it
  5. Intimacy not just sexually
    ○ Aisha (RA) – Prophet (SAW) knew that I liked to touch his skin so he’d remove his shirt so my skin could be on his
  6. Allah is first
    ○ “When it was time for prayer, it was like he didn’t know us”
  7. Time away – 1 month can be 29 days.
Categories
Current Affairs articles

In Pursuit of Happiness…

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Allah says: “Know that the life of this world is but amusement and diversion and adornment and boasting to one another and competition in increase of wealth and children – like the example of a rain whose [resulting] plant growth pleases the tillers; then it dries and you see it turned yellow; then it becomes [scattered] debris. And in the Hereafter is severe punishment and forgiveness from Allāh and approval. And what is the worldly life except for the enjoyment of delusion.” ( Qur’an 57:20)

moneyHappiness or Money?

“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people that they don’t like.”

I believe that money can’t buy you happiness. Sure, having a lot of money is a great thing and gets rid of the stress of financial insecurity. But real happiness can’t be bought by money. Thinking about life has led me to think about this popular belief and realise it’s completely true. Although being financially secure is one of the best things in the world, it won’t necessarily bring you happiness. Many people dream of being rich. They think of all the things they can buy with money such as big houses, fancy cars, and long vacations. People make it their goal to get into a good college to get a good job and make a lot of money. With financial security, people think they have more time to spend relaxing and being happy. There are so many success stories of people going from “rags to riches” and people try to follow their footsteps and do the same thing. Basically, we all get this idea that being rich is a great thing and it will guarantee happiness, but is it true? On the flip side, there are also people who have gone from millionaires (karor pati) to living off benefits (road pati).

 

As Muslims we are taught to rely on Allah SWT for our sustenance, Allah provides. Obviously, tie your camel then trust in Allah. I would like to narrate a passage from a lecture of an Imam from Madinah –  Shaykh Muhammad al-Mukhtar ash-Sinqitee (Allah preserve him): “The happiest of people is the one who addresses his complaints to Allah and not to his creation. The happiest of people is the one who puts his certainty in Allah and does not put his certainty in Zayd or Amr (i.e. people). If a person was in debt and your friend said I will talk to such and such a person he is wealthy. And your debt will be relieved very easily by that person. How certain will you be about your debt being settled and your hardship being removed?

But how about the King of Kings the One who has depositories of the Heavens and the Earth in His hand? How about the Most Generous, which the fullness of His Hand is not affected by the continuous spending, night and day. O Allah! Make our poorness to You, and our richness in You. Be rich in Allah, have trust in Allah. People turning away from you is indeed a blessing from Allah, He wants you to turn to Him.”

Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) as saying:

“Many a people with dishevelled hair are driven away from the door (but they are so pious) that if they are to swear in the name of Allah, He would definitely fulfil that.” (Saheeh Muslim)

The happiest of people are the one who says, “Ya Rabb!” – and Allah answers his supplications. By Allah! Happiness is not in wealth; if it was in wealth, the happiest of the people would have been Qaroon, but he was amongst the most unfortunate and miserable of people, “And we caused the earth to swallow him and his home.” (28:81)

Wealth is not happiness and happiness is not when you ask people and they give you. True happiness is when Allah will open the doors of heaven for you, Allah make us from them. Ameen!

It was narrated from Abū Hurayrah (raḍiy Allāhu ʿanhu) that the Messenger of Allāh (sall Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) used to tie a stone to his stomach because of hunger. (Ibnul Arabi in Mu’jam)

Money only makes a person want more money – it creates greed and thrives off the desire for more and more. I heard someone recently say regarding another person who has a fulfilling business that ‘he’s lazy and not enthusiastic’ simply because he has shown a level of contentment within his business and refuses to advance it further.

Why? Because, unlike many many others, by Allah, he has resisted that monetary lust and has sukoon/peace in the amount he has. And why was he called lazy? Because unfortunately, today, many people think that the successful and admirable one is he who is able to keep the revenue rolling constantly until there is more money than one will EVER need.

Abū Saʿīd Khudri (Allah be pleased with him) reported that Allāh’s Messenger (sall Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) said,

“The world is sweet and green (alluring) and verily Allāh is going to install you as vicegerent in it in order to see how you act. So avoid the allurement of women: verily, the first trial for the people of Isrā’īl was caused by women. (And in the ḥadīth transmitted on the authority of Ibn Bashshar the words are:) so that He should see how you act.” (Saheeh Muslim)

 

The feeling of constantly wanting to generate money has terrible, subconscious effects on oneself. The person is in a constant trance-like mode whereby he is forever thinking about the next project that will bring him a profit and in this there is no barakah/blessings in his day for any extra Qur’an, adhkar and Islamic progression. Many so-called religious folks try justifying their love for wealth and materialism by stating companions such as Uthman Ghani (Allah be pleased with him) and AbdulRehman ibn Awf (Allah be pleased with him) who were wealthy… Dear brothers and sisters, with the wealth of Uthman (Allah be pleased with him) must come the Taqwa of Uthman as well! Scholars have also got sucked into materialism and consumerism, please see this article on scholars charging for Da’wah.

The Prophet (sall Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) was seen by ʿUmar (raḍiy Allāhu ʿanhu) with dust on his clothes from having slept on the floor. ʿUmar (raḍiy Allāhu ʿanhu) wished to provide the Prophet (sall Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) with a more comfortable bed and the reply was,

“What have I to gain in this world? The like of this world is as that of a traveller who is travelling in the sun and he sits under a tree momentarily and then gets up and continues on.” (Tirmidhi)

For example, In “The High Price Of Materialism” Tim Kasser says, No matter how many fancy designer clothes, cars, or jewels they might obtain, no matter how big their house or how up-to-date their electronic equipment, the lost opportunity to engage in pleasurable activities and enjoy each others’ companionship will work against need satisfaction, and thus against their happiness.

Happiness is the most valuable aim of a human being. While the earth is getting complicated and changing day by day, almost all people are trying to have a happy and fulfilling life. During this pursuit of happiness, our relationships play a crucial role. In the pace of life, when we have encountered some stressful or disappointing situation or cases, in order to take a breath we always consult our families and fly into our family’s arms. If we have our own families and their real support, it is the most reliable way to reach happiness and relief. But sometimes people can be in a dilemma between possessions and relationships. This is the point of collapsing real happiness because when the passion of money comes to a person, he starts to abandon his family. He thinks as if money will bring them happiness and a good life. But it won’t. As Tim Kasser says in the article of Mixed Messages “a focus on materialistic values detracts from well-being and happiness. For example, when spouses spend most of their time working to make money, they neglect opportunities to be with each other and do what most interests them.” And again in Downshifting in Britain

As you can see in these sentences as long as people don’t allocate enough time for their families, there is no way to make them happy.love life

“Difficulties in managing work-life balance can have a detrimental impact on the quality of the relationships between parents and children and the parent’s responsiveness to the child, with implications for child outcomes. This is particularly important for every young child, with evidence suggesting that it is best for children if they can receive intensive parental contact for the first months (HM Treasury & DTI 2003, p 13-14).”

The word ‘happy’ is defined by the Oxford dictionary as: “Feeling or showing pleasure or contentment,” however happiness means different things to each individual person. Most people’s definition of happiness would include words along the lines of ‘love’ and ‘health’, and others may include ‘family’ ‘friends’ ‘belief’ ‘achievement’ these are all things that money does not give you. The truly happy people I’ve known have been those who were engaged in meaningful work, paid or unpaid. These people were so busy living their lives in pursuit of something larger than themselves that they had no time to wonder, “Am I happy?” They just were.

The other most important step to reach happiness is our satisfaction. Because actually, the money doesn’t make us happy, it can help us just by providing some satisfaction. When we lost our satisfaction, it means we lost our happiness and this is exactly what our possessions do. Lots of people in consumer countries and societies think that they always need more money than they have now, even if they are wealthy and rich people. In the book of Clive Hamilton, this situation is stated with this sentence: “The trouble with the rat race is, even if you win, you are still a rat.” Because of the society that they belong to, they are convinced that more money means always more happiness. So without exception, all people are trying to have more possessions to be satisfied by being able to buy what they need.

In conclusion, I believe that money provides temporary satisfaction but that is up to you to figure out how to truly be happy. You need to start with basics like enough money for food and shelter, but if you try to build on your fortune then you must keep your priorities right; friends and family first. If you lose your money, then who will be there for you to catch you when you fall from that high horse that you have been riding for so long? Your friends and family. My definition of happiness would be living a healthy life surrounded by my family and friends, yes I would need money for food and shelter but after that, how much do I really need?

Anas bin Mālik (Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allāh (sall Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) said:

“Whoever makes the Hereafter his goal, Allāh makes his heart rich, and organises his affairs, and the world comes to him whether it wants to or not. And whoever makes the world his goal, Allāh puts his poverty right before his eyes and disorganises his affairs, and the world does not come to him, except what has been decreed for him.” (Tirmidhi)life.jpg

Ismail Ibn Nazir Satia (One who is in dire need of Allah’s forgiveness, mercy and pleasure)

24 Rabiul Thani 1440

 

Categories
Poems

‘A DRONE OVER THE SKIES OF MADINAH …’

(The Final Crusade)IMG_9150

Ask yourself: if the Prophet SAW was with us today,
If he spoke the same words and lived the same way,

If he returned with the same message to relay,
How long would the forces of the world let him stay?
Back then, he taught humankind to: ‘Bow down to none,
No idol, no tyrant, no oppressive nation,

Keep your heart and mind free from their domination,
True power is with God, so don’t fear anyone!’
Quraysh let him be so long as he was benign,
And to his message, they thought that few would incline,

But when he preached openly, would not bend his spine,
The state turned against him, for he had crossed the line;
At first, they rushed to him seeking some compromise,
They’d give him the mic if he just ceased to chastise,

The ills around him they feared he would neutralize,
But he would not clothe his words in any disguise;
And he persisted in making more minds aware,
Of society’s false gods of which to beware,

Of the tyrants of Earth, so the state could not bear,
And his “freedom of speech” vanished into thin air;
Choking him as he prayed, they tried suffocation,
Then imposed three years of economic sanction,

Signed off authorizing his assassination,
He was hunted in his land, forced to migration;
To track down this “radical”, the vast land they’d comb,
Abu Jahl led the pack, his mouth frothing with foam,

Put him on a ‘Wanted’ list in his own home,
Like Jesus Christ before him at the hands of Rome;
And the Romes of today at whose hands we’re abused,
Who preach to us values from which they’re self-excused,

How similar the tools of repression they used,
The tyrants of past and present are ever fused;
Today, he’d see us consumed by the same fires,
With the gods in our hearts these worldly desires,

And the gods of the Earth nations and empires,
Headed by killers and professional liars;
He laid siege to Qaynuqa’ for one woman’s fear,
So what would he say to those who gang-raped ‘Abeer?

Muffled ‘Aafia’s screams as she shed tear after tear?
And occupy Muslim countries year after year?
He’d come back to remind us to: ‘Bow down to none,
No idol, no tyrant, no oppressive nation,

Keep your heart and mind free from their domination,
True power is with God, so don’t fear anyone!’
In a repeat of that reality uncouth,
Imagine he stood and struggled for the same truth,

And had the same impact on society’s youth,
Would they not once again fight this man nail & tooth?
Of course, they’d first test him to see what he’s about,
Would he stay true like before, or would he sell out?

Would fear of the state instil in his mind some doubt?
No doubt, he’d be a mountain shaking off their clout;
In an era where his inheritors deprave,
The trust of their knowledge so their skins they would save,

He’d be an inspiration for every field slave,
Craving an example of the fearless and brave;
Their think-tanks would scramble to counter his appeal,

Find scholars for dollars with whom to make a deal,
To persuade us: ‘The Prophet is just full of zeal,

Grieving injustices – quote – “perceived” and not real!’
They’d wiretap him as he said: ‘Bow down to none,

No idol, no tyrant, no oppressive nation,
Keep your heart and mind free from their domination,
True power is with God, so don’t fear anyone!’
Then they’d name him on a federal indictment,
American court would charge him with incitement,

Through Surat at-Tawbah – marked ‘Criminal Statement’
Khalid bin al-Walid as his co-defendant;
They’d say he conspired from the North to the South Pole,
And seek a life sentence with no chance of parole,

In a bright orange suit on lockdown in the Hole,
Such do they treat those spirits they cannot control;
Like the rest of us who have committed no crime,
But to be a proud Muslim at this point in time,

As the war on his message has reached its full prime,
Giving those who live by it more mountains to climb;
When they saw that in this message he would persist,
They would designate him a global terrorist,

And just like Quraysh, they would pound an angry fist,
Before placing his name on their own target list;
Over the skies of Madinah, they’d send a drone,
Distribute ‘Wanted’ posters with his bearded face shown,

Talk to local tribes, make the reward money known,
For those who capture or kill him and retrieve each bone;
They’d study Badr and Uhud, learn his strategy,
And profile those who pledged to him under the Tree,

Try to identify his ‘Number Two’ and ‘Three,’
Is it Abu Bakr, ‘Umar, ‘Uthman, or ‘Ali?
To the Prophet’s Mosque, they’d send an entire brigade,
To round up the Ansar who had given him aid,

To kick down his family’s door in a night raid,
To make him the target of their final crusade;
Because his message would still be: ‘Bow down to none,
No idol, no tyrant, no oppressive nation,

Keep your heart and mind free from their domination,
True power is with God, so don’t fear anyone!’
Imagine if the Prophet SAW was with us today,
If he spoke the same words and lived the same way,

If he returned with the same message to relay,
They’d reserve him a cell at Guantanamo Bay …
صلي الله عليه و سلم
طارق مهنا

Tarek Mehanna
Monday     9th of Dhu al-Hijjah 1431
15th of November 2010
Plymouth Correctional Facility, America
Isolation Unit – Cell #108
FOOTNOTES:

1.) Abeer Qasim al-Janabi, a 14-yr old Iraqi girl who was gang-raped,
beaten, shot, and burned along with her parents and siblings by American soldiers in March of 2006, south of Baghdad. (May Allah have Mercy on them)
2.) Referring to the hadith: “The scholars are the inheritors of the Prophets.”
3.) Referring to the Pledge of Ridwan given under a tree on the day of Hudaybiyah, as mentioned in Surat al-Fath, v.18.