Read daily after Fajr (morning) and Asr (evening)
https://www.schoolquran.com/ISLAMIC-BOOKS/English/Manzil_Arabic_English_Version.pdf
MANZIL IN ENGLISH
Read daily after Fajr (morning) and Asr (evening)Tag: Ismail ibn nazir satia
Read daily after Fajr (morning) and Asr (evening)
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9 Tips to Improve Your English
1) Know your audience and choose your style accordingly.
2) Read and practise! Read newspapers especially broadsheets, highlight words and remember them.
3) Listen and practise! Listen out for beautifully spoken English, find scholars online who speak well and use good terminology, write down the words they use and implement them into your own terminology.3) Use Apps such as Grammarly
4) Find your best ‘English’ person and ask them nicely to proofread and/or give feedback. Remember, this takes time so try not to become too reliant and learn from them so you can become confident yourself.
5) Use a dictionary NOT necessarily a thesaurus. It’s always cringingly obvious when someone has tried too hard; use sophisticated language but let it flow naturally. Like Orwell said, why use a long word when a short word will do.
6) Commas and apostrophes are cool. Teach yourself the rules regarding these.
7) Vary your sentence lengths so your writing sounds interesting/exciting/dramatic. Use conjunctions to create longer sentences but use short sentences too. A short sentence immediately after a long sentence always adds drama.
8) Keep it clean and simple. Don’t over complicate your writing in the attempt to impress. This will only discompose your reader and the main purpose of your writing will be lost.
9. Finally, start a blog. Writing will help you tremendously.
Ismail ibn Nazir Satia (one who is in dire need of Allah’s forgiveness, mercy and pleasure)
10th Muharram 1441
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Violence and Silence
You can’t fight violence with silence,
With silence there will always be a consequence.
Right is always right, wrong is always wrong,
This isn’t a fancy poem, this isn’t a musical song.
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Whether you are Black, Brown, Yellow or White,
Whether your skin is dark or your skin is bright,
I don’t know why y’all get into a fuss and a fight,
We were all created different, but equal and right.
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Some of you look at Black people and say it’s so tight,
I think that in itself is racist – that is the height.
There are other words too but I wouldn’t ever write,
You might wana stop your tongue, you might wana give it a bite.
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When you look at it in hindsight,
Whether you are brighter than the sun or darker than the night,
There’s no need to hurl abuse heavy as a meteorite,
Cos that will cause the fire to spread and you will ignite.
Just because you’re White doesn’t mean you’re right.
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You can come from Africa, Ghana, Somalia or Nigeria,
Doesn’t mean you are low or should be treated as inferior.
You can be brown and come from China, Japan, Pakistan or India,
Doesn’t give you the liberty to be proud or think you are superior.
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Iraq, Libya, Yemen and Syria,
Tunisia, Palestine, Bolivia and Algeria …
We all have something in common, something familiar
It may sound strange, sound weird and peculiar.
But that’s what God taught us, what is in the Shareeah,
He SWT never judges you by your face, always by your interior.
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We’re all a bit racist, we’re all a bit stereotypical,
I don’t expect worldwide change from my words – but I hope they’re powerful and not just lyrical.
I’m not a politician, I’ve never been political,
I just speak my mind, speak my heart, which is just typical.
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I practise what I preach, I don’t wana sound hypocritical,
But racism is growing, it’s reaching its pinnacle,
This isn’t a myth or made up – it’s actually statistical.
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Black, White, Woman or Man,
The message is simple, one you can understand.
It ain’t just and it ain’t fair,
To judge someone by the texture of their hair or their colour of skin,
To judge someone by the country they’re from or the village they live in,
Racism comes from within and needs to be thrown in the bin.
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Murder is wrong, murder is pain, and murder is sinister,
Remember that’s somebody’s brother somebody’s sister.
I blame the people in power, the president and prime minister,
They don’t control their words and justify saying it was a tiny tongue twister.
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It was those people who created the Us and Them,
We’ve seen kids dying cos of this as young as ten,
Stuff that makes your heart and mind shake and shiver,
You don’t want to watch these things, I still feel the quiver.
They don’t care about our women, they don’t care about our youth,
They feed them lies and keep them away from the truth.
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Pain is still pain, blood is still blood,
We’re are all from Adam (peace be upon him), from the same mud.
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This poem was written to highlight the ongoing racism and prejudice in America, after the killing of George Floyd. We are all brothers and sisters in humanity, we should all feel the pain of Black people in America and across the globe. The Holy Qur’an teaches us:
“…if any one slew a person – unless it be for murder or for spreading mischief in the land – it would be as if he slew the whole people: and if any one saved a life, it would be as if he saved the life of the whole people.”
[Al-Qur’an 5:32]
Such is the value of a single human life, that the Qur’an equates the taking of even one human life unjustly, with killing all of humanity. Thus, the Qur’an prohibits homicide in clear terms.
Ismail ibn Nazir Satia (one who is in dire need of Allah’s forgiveness, mercy and pleasure)
9 Shawwal 1441
To proceed,
The tradition in Muslim religious literature of gathering collections of forty Hadiths dates as far back as the first century after the Hijrah. Abdullah ibn Mubarak al-Marwazi (Allah have mercy on him) is thought to be the first to have gathered forty Hadith in a collection. Perhaps the most well-known collection is that of Imam an-Nawawi (Allah have mercy on him), which has been translated into English, and on which there are several commentaries.
The practice of gathering forty Hadiths springs from a Hadith, narrated through several Companions, which puts the spiritual rank of religious scholarship within easy reach of the ordinary believer: “Whoever memorises forty narrations for my nation in matters of this religion, Allah will raise him up a scholar and I shall be an intercessor and witness for him on the Day of Rising.”
Allah make us from them.
Ismail
15 Shaban 1441
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Six Years On…
Abu
Six years on, how quickly time has gone.
Six years on, the knight that once shone,
Is resting in his grave, with the help of no one.
He is covered from head to toe in dust, every single bone,
We can no longer hear his voice, nor listen to his tone.
We are deprived of his beautiful countenance
A smile which could melt a heart, even if it was made out of stone.
You spread your warmth everywhere, your seeds of graciousness were planted like an acorn,
Today, we see those fruits and high they have grown.
Allah protected you yesterday and will protect you today from even the prick of a thorn,
Because you left this world with a clean heart, not owing a debt and not owing a loan.
Let this rhyme be a reminder, for each and every one of us that we too have a time,
Death hovers over all of us, just like a drone.
Death falls suddenly and takes your soul as fast as a cyclone,
Death doesn’t announce on a speaker system, nor uses a microphone.
Ismail
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Why Ruqya?
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
We will all be aware that every sect, race, and religion has corrupt and bad individuals. As Muslims, we believe Islam is perfect, but Muslims are not. In light of this, we will understand teachers are meant to educate our children but many abuse our children. Doctors are meant to cure the ill, there are doctors who have killed people. Police officers are meant to protect the people, we often hear of the police abusing their power and authority. This in no way or shape means we stop using the above services, which would be preposterous and outrageous for anyone to claim that. What we would advise is we be cautious and take preventive measures, as the rule is “prevention is better than cure.”
In recent times, there has been a lot of exposure to Black Magic, Taweez, Ruqya and Jinns etc. The aim of this article is to accurately, fairly and accurately clear some of the myths regarding this subject.
We will start by explaining and proving from Quran and Hadith whether or not Black Magic exists, as well as Jinns and Jinn possession. There are a lot of Muslims out there who deny one of these or ALL of these.
The Evidence
BLACK MAGIC: Even the Prophet ﷺ had Sihr (black magic). His enemies got the most powerful sorcerer. The effect of it was He kept thinking he needed to do a ghusl. It was done by a Jewish man Labeed ibn A’sam, who took hair from the comb of the Prophet ﷺ and date skin from a tree. Eventually, they found the well which had date palms like the devil’s horns. The Hadith is in Bukhari.
JINN: The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “There are Jinn in Madinah who have become Muslim. When you see one of them, call out to it for three days. If it appears after that, then kill it, for it is a Shaytan.” (Imam Malik)
EVIL EYE: Ibn ‘Abbas RA reported Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) as saying: “The influence of an evil eye is a fact; if anything would precede the destiny it would be the influence of an evil eye, and when you are asked to take bath (as a cure) from the influence of an evil eye, you should take bath.” (Muslim)
Corrupt Practices
Whether you do down the Taweez route or the Ruqya route or any other route. It is YOUR job to ensure the person treating you or your family member is treating you according to Quran and Hadith. Allah has blessed everyone with Aqal and intellect. You don’t need to be a Mufti to know the difference between right and wrong, a lot of these things are basic common sense. For example, the Mawlana giving Taweez or the Raqi should not touch women, there is no reason for him to do this. It is not permissible for a man who believes in Allah and His Messenger to put his hand in the hand of a woman who is not permissible for him or who is not one of his mahrams. Whoever does that has wronged himself (i.e., sinned).
It was narrated that Ma’qil ibn Yassaar said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “For one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him than that he should touch a woman who is not permissible for him.”
Narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer, 486
Extortionate Prices
Why do some Raqis charge extraordinary prices? One must understand the field of dealing with Black Magic and Jinn is not an easy one. They are risking their own lives and their wife’s and children’s.
Now, there is a
Narrated by al-Bukhari (2115) and Muslim (4080).
Self-Ruqya
What is the need to go to these people when the Hadith talks about self-
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Ramadhan Is Over
Ramadhan is over
And we need to continue the spirituality,
But we all know the reality,
Just look at the Masjid in your nearest locality,
Ramadhan is over and so is its hospitality,
Did you change and improve your personality?
Is Islam in your blood, is it a practicality?
Will it remain another 11 months, what is the possibility?
Or have you already exhaled all your spiritual oxygen, is that a probability?
So before you return to normality,
Remember that in your grave only good deeds matter, not your wealth or financial stability.
Ismail
1 Shawwal 1440
- The first and most important point is to make sure the charity is Shariah Compliant. Let us not be naïve and think everything that has the words “Islam” or “Islamic” before it, is according to Qur’an and Hadith. Many charities do activities which are violating the laws of Allah SWT, you do not need to be a Mufti/Scholar to know this. For example, mixed events, music in their videos, qawwali is becoming common, fashion shows and makeup tutorials… the list goes on. Every sane Muslim knows these things are totally wrong in the name of Islam.
- Make sure the charity is under the supervision of at least one Alim or a group of qualified scholars. We see charities opening on every street corner, many of these brothers and sisters do not have knowledge of the basics of Islam. They are collecting our Zakah and Sadaqah, how can we guarantee it will be distributed correctly and accurately?
- Give to needy charities and not the GREEDY ones! You should be giving your money to the neediest places and the neediest charities. Some charities accumulate 40-50 million pounds a year, others are very close. Check their annual reports or search on the Charity Commission Website. Check to see how much of that money is being spent, why give your Zakah to a charity that still hoards last year’s Zakah?
- Ask your charity if they take admin costs for Zakah and Sadaqah, some charities take astronomical amounts! Although it is permissible to take from Sadaqah, one must ask a local Mufti if it is permissible to take admin costs from Zakah: https://islamqa.org/hanafi/qibla-hanafi/37024
- Ask your charity how quickly they distribute Zakah. As mentioned in point 3, some charities get millions every year. A lot of this money is hoarded in their bank accounts as they are unable to spend this money instantly. Which could mean your charity still has last year’s Zakah gathered up! Do you really want to give them this year’s Zakah? Some charities have a 30-day policy i.e. they distribute your Zakah within 30 days, I personally think this is an excellent idea.
- Don’t be ashamed to ask how much they pay their employees, their PR managers and the CEO. We hear about charities taking ridiculous wages due to help from Gift Aid etc. Unfortunately, the concept of kindness and consideration is disappearing from some charitable people.
- “You donate for the sake of Allah!” I am sure you have all heard this one before? Some defensive charity workers reply with the above statement when questioned about their practises and money management. The statement is incompetent and uneducated. Just because we donate for Allah does NOT mean in any way, shape or form we cannot question people. It is our God-given right, we are living in 21st Century Britain.
- Now we come on to charities collecting door-to-door. Most of us, unfortunately, donate blindly, we do not ask for a receipt, nor a charity reg number. Some of these people are not even Muslim, they just grow a beard and wear a hat or hijab for women. We must follow protocol, and ask for a certificate where it applies. We need to get rid of our ignorance and stop saying, “We donate for Allah and it is all in his hands” Definitely, you donate for Allah, but does that mean you donate to thieves and crooks because of your sheer naivety? Learn to ask a few questions, ask for their website (give it a quick google search on the doorstep), their head office location, which countries they work in etc.
- Make an intention, The intention is important for Zakah. AS for Sadaqah/Lillah most of us give Ma Sha Allah, very generously. But we do not make an intention, for esale thawab, for Shifa, safety from calamities, multiple intentions can be made In Sha Allah. Allah accept from one and all. Ameen.
Ismail
10 Ramadhan 1440
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A to Z-akah
Intro
Zakah is not just any form of voluntary charity, almsgiving, tax or tithe. Nor is it simply an expression of kindness or generosity. Zakah is all of these combined and much more, for it also includes Allah-consciousness as well as spiritual, moral and social objectives. Zakah is a Divine injunction and an ordinance from Allah Himself. It is not a personal matter or a voluntary contribution; rather, it is an obligation for which one will be called to account before Almighty Allah SWT. Zakah is indispensable as it helps achieve reform, both financially and spiritually. It eliminates misery and greed from hearts and consolidates the Islamic economy, leading to its stability and prosperity.
Virtues
The Qur’an describes Zakah as 1.
2. A precondition to achieve victory: “Allah will certainly aid those who aid His (cause); for verily Allah is Full of Strength, Exalted in Might, (Able to enforce His Will). (They are) those who, if We establish them in the land, establish regular prayer and give their Zakah, enjoin the right and forbid wrong: with Allah rests the outcome of all affairs.” (Surah Al-Hajj 22:40-41).
3. A sign of brotherhood in religion: “But (even so), if they repent, establish regular prayers, and give their Zakah, they are your brethren in Faith.” (Surah Al-Taubah 9:11). 4. A distinctive feature of the faithful community: “The Believers, men and women, are protectors one of another: they enjoin what is just and forbid what is evil: they observe regular prayers, pay their Zakah and obey Allah and His Messenger. On them will Allah pour His Mercy: for Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise.” (Surah Al-Taubah 9:71).
Definition
The word Zakah is the infinite form of the verb “zaka”, meaning to grow, to increase and to purify. When said about a person, it means to improve or to become better. Consequently, Zakah means, blessing, growth, cleanliness and betterment.
In the Shari’ah, the word Zakah refers to the determined share of wealth prescribed by Allah to be distributed among the deserving categories of those entitled to receive it. Zakah is a divinely ordained institution and is regarded both as a right of Allah as well as the right of the poor. In fact, an Islamic government can forcibly take Zakah from the rich if the rich withhold it.
Zakah in the Qur’an The word Zakah is mentioned thirty-two times in the Qur’an. In thirty from these thirty-two, Zakah is in its technical meaning of paying Zakah. From these thirty, Zakah has been interlinked with Salah, the obligatory prayer, twenty-eight times.
- It is important to have a fixed date (in the Islamic calendar) when you pay your Zakah annually to avoid late payment. If you cannot remember the date you first became the owner of the Nisab, then the date should be estimated. If this is not possible, then a specific Islamic date should be selected arbitrarily and adhered to annually.
- Zakah is not due
on children who are minor and prepubescent in the Hanafi school. However, according to the Shafi’i, Maliki and Hanbali schools, Zakah is obligatory on the wealth of minor children also. - Zakah on buy-to-let property Zakah is not due on the market value of one’s buy-to-let property. It is only payable on the net rental income on one’s Zakah anniversary.
- If you have borrowed money, you can deduct the forthcoming 12 months’ worth of repayments from your total balance of Zakatable assets, the same applies for a mortgage. The reason for this is to ensure a Zakah payment doesn’t impact your ability to repay the debt owed to others.
- Zakah on money lent to others. Money lent to others is still Zakatable. Zakah is due on it yearly whilst lent. However, you can pay yearly for it, or pay for all previous years once you get money back.
- Zakah on home businesses & home catering. If you run a catering business from home or even sell small items such as cakes and biscuits, Zakah is payable on the price you sell these items.
- Zakah on a joint account. If the share of one partner can be determined in a joint account, they will be liable to pay that amount. Otherwise, a couple can treat their joint account as 50:50 and pay accordingly.
- Liability deductions for Zakah. If you’ve booked to go for Hajj and owe the travel agent, you can deduct the amount owed from your Zakah calculation. Zakah is not payable on that amount – it is as if it doesn’t exist as it is engaged with a current expense.
- Zakah is not due on personal belongings regardless of their value such as one’s house, car, clothes, phones, laptops, appliances and furniture.
- The Hanafi School treats all gold and silver
jewellery as Zakatable, regardless of whether it is worn or stored. However, the other schools of Fiqh treat gold and silver for personal use as exempt from Zakah. - Zakah for gold stores: Have you ever wondered how much Zakah is due on a gold
store ?? Every gold/silver item in the store is Zakatable at their retail price. A goldsmith may give the gold in Zakah if he does not have that sufficient cash flow. - Zakah is not payable on unlawful earnings from non-Shariah compliant avenues. 100% of the earnings must be dispensed in charity as a relinquishment of unlawful wealth & not as a rewarding act.
- Zakah can be paid in advance of one’s Zakah anniversary. Once, Al-Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) came to the Prophet ﷺ and asked if he could pay Zakah in advance. The Prophet ﷺ permitted paying in advance. Al-Tirmidhi) A business may set up a monthly direct debit of Zakah to spread their Zakah payments across the year. However, these
instalments should be in advance for the following year & not in arrears. - If Zakah has not been given for several years, then it still must be given. The person must think carefully about how much money the person had every year and then give Zakah accordingly. It is better to give a little extra as a precaution.
- Zakah is not payable on the value of diamonds, other precious stones in one’s ownerships and in
jewellery . - It is an obligation to pay Zakat on one’s business stock. Samurah bin Jundub (may Allah be pleased with him) said: ‘’The Messenger of Allah ﷺ commanded us to give Sadaqah (Zakah) on what we intended to trade.’’ (Abu Dawud)
- One month’s worth of council tax can also be deducted and if your phone bill falls within your Zakah anniversary date you can deduct one month’s bill.
- It is wrong to estimate Zakah e.g. Last year I gave £200, so this year it must be the same. As you may have cash in the house which is extra and sometimes a person has £200-£300 in his/her house including their wallet and purse. This must be added to the Zakah assets.
- Interest money must ALL be given to the charity without hope for reward/.
- Zakat al-Fitr/Sadaqah al-Fitr has the following benefits: 1) It’s an atonement for any shortfall in Ramadhan of the payer 2) it’s a means of happiness & a provision for the recipient on Eid day.
Approved by Mufti Ibrahim Saheb Raja (Ustadh of Hadith at Bury Darul Uloom)
Without Zakah, there can never be profit in business.
Zakah payments preserve your wealth, they do not destroy nor deplete your wealth. Interest income depletes your wealth. “Allah destroys interest and increases charity. And Allah does not like every sinning disbeliever.” (Quran 2:276)
Give Zakah & Sadaqah to help the needy people & the suffering Ummah with a firm conviction of the promises of Allah for you in this world & Hereafter for spending your wealth
When Zakah is not paid, a business portfolio is exposed to loss of blessings & the displeasure of Allah. Therefore, despite an annual turnover of millions & a high-profit margin, a business person is exposed to loss in this world and the Hereafter.
Imam al-Sarakhsi states that a Zakah payer receives more reward in giving Zakah to his needy, eligible relatives in another town as it entails maintaining family ties together with discharging their obligation.-(Mabsut)
Ibn RH said, “The best of charity [and zakah] is that which the greatest need, or is a means to the greatest benefit.” [Hashiya Ibn Abidin] Make your Zakah revive & resuscitate the Ummah.
The four mainstream schools of Islamic jurisprudence all agree that Zakah is due immediately.
Ismail
1 Ramadhan 1440
Successful Parenting in the West – Shaykh Yasir Qadhi
4th April 2019 – Manchester, Read Foundation Dinner (Paraphrased)
Family, family, family. The family is one of the greatest blessings given to humanity, if Allah didn’t want to give this gift He wouldn’t have. When Allah told the angels that humans will be created, he used the word Khalifa which is often mistaken for meaning vice-regent, but its technical definition means a generation that will keep on replicating, the regeneration of families, because the angels don’t have to have these, the angels don’t have families they don’t marry other angels and have children. The same angel that was created millions of years ago is the same angel that will exist till the end of times. But humans recreate a generation that regrows and looks after each other we are created differently from the angels. We are a nation of families, we are species that Allah has created in a different manner to angels, that why Allah mentions the word Khalifah. The talk today is short and significant about raising children in the west, I’m going to share some benefits that I have myself learnt and acquired from the experience I have. I have 4 kids and three are teenagers so I want to share with you 7 rules from my own reading and research. Anything good I share is from Allah(SWT) and anything else is from Shaytaan and me.
First Rule – There are no rules.
Anybody that tells you they have the magic solution on how to be a better parent is lying, simple as that. Anybody that promises you that if you follow this piece of advice and I can guarantee that your children will come out like this, that advice is lying, miskeen. One famous child psychologist wrote a famous book about this, and that he had a PhD from Harvard etc. that before I had any children I had 6 theories about how to raise kids, now I have 6 kids and 0 theories. There are no rules to, nobody can guarantee or promise you that this technique will make your kids better, or more Islamic there is more educated. This also explains why the Quran and Sunnah don’t come with detailed manuals on parenting; there is more in our books about fiqh of wudu and Salah than about how to be a parent. That is not because astaghfirullah Allah intentionally left it out, it is because parenting is something you learn as you go along. It is child-sensitive and parent sensitive. It’s unique. How you raise one child will not necessarily be the same as how you raise the second child. It is something you learn on the job, and the training is your own life. So even the shariah does not have specific guidelines.
There is no massive book that can be written but because advice has not been recorded in prophetic traditions, also they are culture sensitive what works in one culture might not work in another culture, and what works in one neighbourhood might not even work in the house. So there cant be no manual, It’s just general generic advice, that can be universal, that you have to think about contemplate and adapt too, that’s the first rule.
2. The second rule is responsibility begets actions and knowledge begets responsibility.
The goal is to be a better parent that’s conscious that you are responsible in eyes of Allah, every parent should want to study and learn. Knowledge of the deen and Dunya. Benefit from Islamic advice when your education will raise awareness that will raise responsibility that will create better parenting. Some parents spend time in one thing but neglect other duties fathers concerned about one aspect like making sure they work all hours and have money for their children which is important, and mothers are always worried about whether you are fed or warm and have a jumper on. Both are concerned about something else, who is concerned with the spirituality of their children most parents only realise when it’s too late then go to the mosque to the Imam asking what went wrong, the answer is what did you do for the last 15 years both parents mothers and fathers are responsible for the spiritual welfare of your child.
You need to have fear of God in your hearts that Allah will ask me and you about our children
If we don’t have love and fear in our hearts of Allah, If you truly love your children you would provide for their spiritual wellbeing
What did you do to uplift their spirituality? Our ancestors came from another country even if parents weren’t religious the society and culture forced you to practice Islam and go to jummah and there were safety mechanisms place, to ensure your child was looked after.
In this country, there are no safety mechanisms. We are so concerned about their physical upbringing but are we not concerned about their akhirah.
Rule 3 – Actions speak louder than words
Lead by example not by words. By helping your children you need to help yourself first. Exemplifying the values of our faith you need to embody them in yourself. Your actions have to be consistent in your whole life. If there were to be a secret to who I am today, it’s my parents people want the kids to be like. Me I’m a nobody.
When I think of my parents I always see my mums face in the Quran, I remember her always reading the Quran as we were growing up. My dad always in the community, he built the first mosque in Houston in the 60s. I subconsciously grew up with this and took it in with me. They didn’t have to tell me to do this and that, I saw them doing it, I have the love of the Quran in my heart because I saw my parents with the Quran. It came with the home ambience that Allah blessed me with a child
When I was growing up sometimes, we lived where there was no mosque nearby. Typically one salah Maghrib my dad would lead in salah as a family. 10 years Mecca and Madinah I read maghrib and isha In the harams. But when I came back there were no mosques nearby. Subconsciously, I started replicating with my kids with toddlers behind me what I saw my dad doing as I grew up, I started leading the Salah at home with my toddlers behind me. I realised then, this act came from what upbringing my dad gave me.
You need to show your kids what you want them to be in yourself. You need to change your life if you expect your kids to change. For the sake of your children lead a better life. Contemplate if you are truly a role model. We are all sinners but we have to strive.
4. Rule 4 – Your family generally needs your time. More than your money
I say this especially to those that work so hard and we leave the house for so long that we think in our promotions and paycheck that’s what my kids need, which is in important too but there has to be a balance, they need that but taking time out for their children is what they need the most.
Taking time out for your family, don’t trivialise spending time with your children. A book by Gary Chapman 5 languages of love for children. Strongly encourage you to get this book.
The child to be healthy and loved, that the physical touch of human nature is important. There is a hadith of the Bedouin seeing the prophet with his grandsons kissing and picking one and playing with them, and the Bedouin is shocked because in culture you seem more macho and manly if you don’t show affection to your children, and he asked the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) about this, and the prophet said: ‘what can I do if Allah has taken mercy and tenderness from your heart.’
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) played with the kids several times. Even in Salah with the prophet, the Prophet made the sajood longer because a baby was on his back. The prophet Led in salah with a baby in hand and delivered the khutbah imagine your local imam or sheikh doing that.
Secondly, he says in the book to use words of affirmations we love putting our kids down, especially in some cultures. Words of encouragement are good, we should criticise our kids at home in private.
Don’t belittle. Also, they will be the actions of acts of service you show them and rewards them with gifts.
Rule 5 – Be careful who your friends are.
Your friends will influence your children. They will influence your children and their children will influence your children. Birds of a feather flock together. Islam isn’t just road, you don’t just memorise Islam, and it is a lived experience. What do you do in your spare time, connect with a community and mosque community. Once a week twice a week they should know the mosque, they should know the mosque community. It should be the ambience of the home.
Rule 6 – Pray WITH and FOR your family.
Pray with your family as jamaah at least once a day, make a salah, you lead it doesn’t matter how bad your tajweed, or how you say waladhaleen. Allah will still reward you and give barakah to your family.
And pray for your family ask yourself when the last time you prayed for your children was that Allah guides them
The Prophets (peace and blessings be upon them) made so many duas from their tongues for the children, if they as Prophets (peace and blessings be upon them) had to make dua for their children, then who are you and me.
It should be the regular and number one dua on your list. If you don’t make dua for your children, who else will. All these prophetic duas from Ibrahim etc are for you, that is Allah giving you the duas to make for your children.
Rule 7- Do the best you can and leave the rest to Allah.
It’s Allah’s qadr look at Prophet Nuh (peace and blessings be upon him) was he a bad father no but look at his son, and look at Ibrahim (peace and blessings be upon him) and his father was Azhar but he had a son like Ibrahim (peace and blessings be upon him).
There are cases where kids are so away from Islam, for example, a family friend of ours, his son left Islam, which broke his dad’s heart, then after his father death then he repented and took the shahdah again because of the upbringing he remembered. That fathers dua was answered after he died.
The result is Allahs not yours.
Here we are talking about tarbiyyah of children and some parents don’t have the luxury to provide tarbiyyah of children in developiung countries, then someone has to or something has to take its place.
Question and Answers
1. What do you do if your local mosque does not have a facility for women?
Not only having a section in the mosque a part of Sunnah, in this day and age, in this society not having it is problematic.
How do you expect women to prepare the next generation, if you take away the umbilical cords of community and Islam from them. Our women should be welcomed in the mosque, they are the future mothers of our next generation
Our women are going everywhere, shopping centres, university etc but the one place they need to be they aren’t allowed. People quote hadith etc about them not being allowed in the mosque which is of opinion too but times have changed. People should put positive pressure on mosques. Positive pressure is not negative. A number of the masjid in America have 4 halls, one major for brothers, one for sisters, one connected to the sisters’ soundproof room for women and children, and one with brothers with children.
2. My child suffers with anxiety and depression, what can I do?
Listen carefully, everyone has their speciality and people who study Islam, are not equipped to deal with anxiety, give everyone their right and haq of knowledge and only ask Imam and Sheikhs questions to do with their expertise
Go to a trained therapist, Imams will make matters worse, linking it to a child’s Iman, and this can lead to depression and suicide, which we know is increasing. I speak as someone who trained for ten years at one of the best institutes in the world on Shariah and did not do one course on psychiatry.
3. What is your advice on LGBT provision expected?
This is a deep and sensitive question that requires a lot of time that I don’t have. As Muslims we are dealing with a crisis the like of which we have not dealt with before especially this issue. As Muslims we lash with our internal and moral and external compasses
Outsiders of our faith accuse us of double standards when we want to we invoke the principle of mutual respect and tolerance but when it goes against we don’t like it.
There was a Christain mother in Alabama who didn’t want her child to study one chapter about Islam about the 5 pillars, we as muslims react with outrage what’s wrong with knowing about Islam and not reacting. We always say live and let live.
Likewise, when our children are studying something we are critical of it. Your child will live in a society where in order to live, it should have general knowledge of what’s going on. We are only reactionary we are not visionary, we only react. When emotions are so high intellect ceases to exist. Our logic is integrally flawed. Our mosques and madrasah need to step up. It’s not as though our children don’t need to learn about Sex Education. What provision are we providing them in this society and if we don’t agree with it, we need to think about where we are living and our surroundings.
We should engage and challenge things in an intellectual professional way and if not learn from those not of our religion but with similar backgrounds and beliefs on how to tackle these issues.