Tag: Qur’an

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Marriage

WORLD WAR III: Mother-In-Law VS Daughter-In-Law

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

“I am not perfect. Let’s both assume that the other is doing the best she can.”

Mother-In-Law-HeartWeddings are usually such happy occasions, full of love and hope for the future of the bride and groom. As wonderful as it can be, it can also mean mother-in-law problems. Something happens the moment a bride says, “I accept him.” Not only does she get a husband, but in most cases, a mother-in-law as well.

But far too many women describe this relationship as fragile, tense, and even competitive.

It’s no secret that in-laws are the subject of many marital arguments. The rivalry between wives and their mothers-in-law is a major source of tension in many marriages. You may find it interesting that many new brides get along very well with their husband’s parents at first; it isn’t until later—sometimes years later—that friction develops.

Time-after-time, daughters-in-law say things like, “My husband’s parents welcomed me into their family immediately and treated me as their own daughter.” Likewise, “My own in-laws showered me with gifts and included me in everything”. It’s not uncommon for young women to be very fond of their husband’s family, and vice versa… in the beginning.

Later on down the marriage, dealing with in-laws can be an overwhelming challenge—whether you are dealing with an overbearing mother-in-law who believes her opinions are superior to yours—or someone who tries to make you feel guilty whenever your needs conflict with hers. It may be tempting to gossip, hold silent grudges, or cut off all communication with troublesome in-laws – but that often just adds to the problem.

 

Mother-in-law problems can be one of the biggest issues in an engaged or married couple’s life. In some cases, they’re really more like out-laws. Some mother-in-laws have a way of letting everyone know their displeasure with the new family member over issues big and small – and yet seem to forget their own son or daughter can think or speak for themselves, and in most cases, should.

Why is it that the mother-in-law relationship can be so difficult? When you think about it, it really shouldn’t be. You have so many meaningful things in common: love for the same person, wanting what’s best for that person, and for them to be happy. For some though, it’s these same things that make for fast adversaries.

Some mother-in-law problems arise out of a competition for the attention of the adult child. Because they are now spending all of their time with their new spouse, there may not seem to be room enough for mum, which can be seen as not loving them as much anymore. When they visit mum, of course your spouse is going to take you with them – you’re now a package deal. Mother-in-law’s can be very resentful of having to share time and space with someone else.

Who would know what’s best for their kids better than a mother? As adults, however, we know what’s best for ourselves, not our mum. Some mothers, however, feel that they should reign supreme over our lives – even when we’re 45-years-old. It can be a hard habit for parents to break and some never feel compelled to stop parenting, even adult children. What makes that more difficult is that some of us don’t know how to let our mothers know that we are now adults who think for ourselves.

No one wants or needs their mother-in-law (or future one) telling them what’s best for their partner or worse, guilt-tripping them because of some imaginary slight or that they don’t measure up to her expectations. Big or small, whatever the issue may be, if she can’t refrain from commenting or speaking out inappropriately, it’s up to our spouse to talk to her. This can be difficult for our partners since for some it can seem unthinkable to speak out “against” their mother and be independent.

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Advice for mother-in-laws:

  1. Pray for your daughter in law, rather than prey on her. Hope and pray that the marriage of your son will be successful. Don’t sit in the background and hope for your daughter-in-law to fail. Ask Allah to show you how to love your daughter-in-law as your own daughter.
  2. Try to be understanding more than criticising. Ask questions to understand. Don’t tell your daughter-in-law how things should be. Don’t expect your son to do what you want him to do anymore. Expect and encourage him to consult with his wife. Rather than question or criticize your daughter-in-law, speak to her and reason with her.
  3. Compliment your daughter-in-law; never complain about her. Honour your daughter-in-law in the presence of your son. Compliment your daughter-in-law; never complain. Make an effort to applaud, praise, and thank your daughter-in-law. Tell her how much you appreciate her positive influence on your son and why you think she’s a good mother. Your daughter-in-law may be different from you. Accept her for who she is. Realise that your daughter-in-law wasn’t raised the same way you raised your son and maybe doesn’t have the same standards you have. Perhaps she is from a different family or caste or race…Try to understand her mind set and the way her family operated. Do not try to change her into who you would like her to be.
  4. Act like a family, fight like a family, not an enemy. Encourage your son to build, develop, and define his marriage role. Don’t fight for position by grasping and grabbing for your son’s time and emotions.  Good mums want their kids to have good marriages. If you are a family, act like one. Families fight, they discuss their issues and that’s how they get resolved. This can be done lovingly and constructively, not destructively! It doesn’t have to be a he said/she said/you said situation. Tiptoeing around the problems and acting like they don’t exist doesn’t help anyone, it only hurts everyone in the long run. Ask your daughter-in-law to let you know if/when you offend her. Remember that Shaytan wants to destroy your relationship.
  5. Your son isn’t perfect, not before marriage and certainly not after. Remember that your son has always had faults. Your child was not perfect before she married him. You love your son, so does your daughter-in-law. Every change that you see in your son is not her doing. Every change that you see in your son is not her doing.

 

A good mother-in-law doesn’t make the wife feel like she doesn’t measure up, or give the impression that she wishes her son would have made a ‘better’ choice.  A good mother-in-law encourages, accepts, and loves unconditionally. Allow your daughter-in-law to disagree and know that it isn’t something personal.  Don’t be offended if a daughter-in-law does not share your tastes, dreams, and values. Tell her about decisions you faced as a mother of infants, toddlers, teenagers, young adults, etc. Talk about more than superficial things. Get to know her for the person Allah created her to be. Then, come alongside her to mentor, encourage, and build a relationship so that if/when you need to give loving input or direction, it is not taken as meddling. Express your gratitude towards her: “You truly are the wind beneath my son’s sails and I really appreciate and love you. You understand my son far better than I do, and I thank Allah for you.” “I’ve got the best daughter-in-law God could give. I am so blessed.” Finally, offer to take care of the grandkids so your daughter-in-law can have a day to herself.

Okay, mothers-in-law, there’s the list. What are we going to do about it?

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The second year of my son’s marriage, he and his wife had Thanksgiving with us. My daughter-in-law made a delicious sweet potato casserole. My mother and I complemented her on it and asked for the recipe. “It’s a family recipe,” my daughter-in-law said. “So I don’t give it out.”   —Anonymous mother-in-law

Whoa! I had thought that daughters-in-law were the ones with the in-law stories. Well, apparently mothers-in-law have their share of stories, too.

One mother-in-law wrote something that brought back memories. “That little boy that brought me dandelions and messy hugs,” she said, “is now a grown man with a family of his own. I need to fully release him so he is allowed to change and adapt to his wife and adult life.  I don’t want to be a parent who says or does things that grate in the mind of my daughter-in-law. She is the one who knows my son best now.”

Yes, a mom relinquishes her title of “first lady” in her son’s life on his wedding day. Perhaps that’s why some have described the relationship between a mother- and daughter-in-law as fragile or tense. Allah certainly didn’t intend it to be that way.

Advice for daughter-in-laws:

  1. She is still his mother, she gave birth to him. Even though you are the woman in her son’s life now, be considerate of the fact that she used to be the woman in his life. The most important thing that you can do for your mother-in-law is to love her son unconditionally…You’ve now taken the spot as her son’s biggest
  2. Respect her for who she is, think of her as your own mother. Don’t try to change your mother -in-law. Accept her eccentricities. Realise that she may do things differently in her home, try to understand her ways. Especially, if you live with them. Bear in mind her age, think of your elderly parents.

 

  1. Do not assume things, rather ask and clarify. If I have offended you, I may not know this. You have the freedom to say to me, nicely, ‘Remember when you said ______. Did you mean _____?’ I am not perfect. Let’s both assume that the other is doing the best she can. Don’t judge, there are two sides to any story.
  2. Remember, you are family and not foes! Ring your mother-in-law off your phone not your son’s phone. Take her out, just the two of you. Go shopping! Discover what you have in common. Keep your in-laws informed of their grandchildren, don’t deprive them.
  3. Express gratitude, not a bad attitude! Post on your Facebook page: ‘I am thankful for my mother-in-law! I am so grateful for our great relationship. It is so important! And ever since I got married our relationship has become so natural and I love spending time with her!’ Please take time to express your appreciation for a gift by writing a note or calling just to say, ‘Thanks!’ If she or any of your in-laws visit you welcome them in with a smile, prepare something special for them. Show your happiness, don’t block yourself from them.

Some mothers- and daughters-in-law form close friendships very quickly. For others, this may take years. But most mothers- and daughters-in-law do want to connect with each other. They want to find common ground. They want to know each other as individual women with feelings, beliefs, and ideas. Do not fight your mother-in-law over your husband and same to the mother-in-law over your son. If the daughter-in-law cooks something or buys something for her husband, please do not compete with her for praises.

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Categories
Ramadhan

Reading Qur’an Without Understanding

Why we read Qur’an in Arabic even we don’t understand it.
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This is a beautiful story!
An old American Muslim lived on a farm in the mountains of eastern Kentucky with his young grandson. Each morning Grandpa was up early sitting at the kitchen table reading his Qur’an. His grandson wanted to be just like him and tried to imitate him in every way he could. One day the grandson asked, “Grandpa! I try to read the Qur’an just like you but I don’t understand it, and what I do understand I forget as soon as I close the book. What good does reading the Qur’an do?”
The Grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove and replied, “Take this coal basket down to the river and bring me back a basket of water..”
The boy did as he was told, but all the water leaked out before he got back to the house. The grandfather laughed and said, “You’ll have to move a little faster next time,” and sent him back to the river with the basket to try again. This time the boy ran faster, but again the basket was empty before he returned home. Out of breath, he told his grandfather that it was impossible to carry water in a basket, and he went to get a bucket instead. The old man said, “I don’t want a bucket of water; I want a basket of water. You’re just not trying hard enough,” and he went out the door to watch the boy try again.
At this point, the boy knew it was impossible, but he wanted to show his grandfather that even if he ran as fast as he could, the water would Leak out before he got back to the house. The boy again dipped the basket into river and ran hard, but when he reached his grandfather the basket was again empty. Out of breath, he said, “See Grandpa, it’s useless!” “So you think it is useless?” The old man said, “Look at the basket.”
The boy looked at the basket and for the first time realized that the basket was different. It had been transformed from a dirty old coal basket and was now clean, inside and out.
“Son, that’s what happens when you read the Qur’an. You might not understand or remember everything, but when you read it, you will be Changed, inside and out. That is the work of Allah in our lives.”
If you feel this is worth reading, please forward to your contacts/friends. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) says: “The one who guides to good will be rewarded equally”.
Categories
Muslim men Muslim women

I Want My Child To Become a Hafidh of the Qur’an.

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“Verily, we revealed the reminder (Qur’an) and we are its guardian.” (15:9)

Narrated ‘Ali bin Abi Talib (Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: “Whoever recites the Qur’an and memorises it, making lawful what it makes lawful, and unlawful what it makes unlawful, Allah will admit him to Paradise due to it, and grant him intercession for ten of his family members who were to be consigned to the Fire” (Tirmidhi as weak).

 

Alhumdu Lillah, it is through the sheer grace and mercy of Allah, al-Kareem, we find so many people memorising the Holy Qur’an in the UK.  In a small country like England, there must be thousands of Huffadh, Ma Sha Allah – Tabarak Allah – Fa Lillahil Hamd.  Where I live, in Blackburn, there must be approximately 1,000+ Huffadh (male and female) in the whole town – Alhumdu Lillah.  We should not take this lightly, rather, we must thank Allah profusely; firstly, for the blessing of the Holy Qur’an and secondly the blessing of memorising/hifdh.  There are countries in the world that don’t have a hundred Huffadh in the whole country, let alone a thousand in a town.  Most of these efforts have been in the last quarter of a century.  If we rewind back twenty-five years ago, there were very few places that offered Hifdh classes and those that did, the class sizes were very small (less than a dozen boys).  Back in the 70s and 80s, places like Bradford and Dewsbury only had one Hifdh class in the whole town, and there was a handful in Lancashire, as well as one in Bolton.

This is all down to the miraculous nature of the Holy Qur’an.  One may question, how?

If we were to give these boys and girls who are memorising the Holy Qur’an a book in English, any book of any genre and they were told to memorise it, would they be able to?  Surely they should be able to learn a page each day from the book, just like they learn a page a day from the Holy Qur’an. And this should be easier, as it is in their language but, we seldom find such children.  This in itself is an indication that memorising the Holy Quran is not based entirely on the child’s memory but it is upon the merit of the Holy Qur’an being a miraculous book.  This is a special favour bestowed upon this Ummah, as previous nations were not able to memorise their holy scriptures en masse, thus we will not find a person who has memorised the Bible in its entirety, nor the Torah. ‘And We have indeed made the Qur’ân easy to understand and remember’ (54:17).

So, whoever strives to memorise it and recite it regularly, it will be made easy for him, and whoever turns away from it, will lose it.  ‘According to reports from the Banu Israil themselves, the ruler of Rome, Anitos Apifonis got every single copy of the Tawrah and burnt it until not a single copy was left. The same happened to the Bible so the original transcriptions became extinct as a result of the attacks of Titus of Rome…’ (An Approach to the Qur’anic Sciences).

Nowadays, we have a wholesale of Huffadh and a greater bulk on the production line wanting to become a Hafidh.  This all seems good and well on the surface but, we must remember a Hafidh is a soul chosen by Allah SWT to protect His book, like the verse mentions, ‘Verily, we revealed the reminder (Qur’an) and we are its guardian’ (15:9).

However, let us bear in mind, becoming a Hafidh is not Fardh Ayn (obligatory on everyone).  The Sahabah (Allah be pleased with them) were not all Hafidh, some only knew a few verses or just a Surah.  Great Imams like the Master of Hadith, Imam Bukhari (Allah have mercy upon him) was not a Hafidh, some of the greatest scholars in later times like the esteemed Allamah Anwar Shah Kashmiri (Allah have mercy upon him), the honourable Shaykhul Hadith Mawlana Yunus Saheb (Allah have mercy upon him) were not Hafidh of the Holy Qur’an.  If these scholars who had photographic memory were not Hafidh, why do some parents force their children to memorise?  Parents need to have a balance with their approach towards Hifdh, otherwise, this can have negative consequences later on in life.  Becoming a Hafidh has great rewards, no doubt, but we also need to bear in mind if your child is not cut out for it, please do not force them and suffocate them.  Consequently, such children may end up completing their Hifdh, but rarely keep up with their revision thereafter and this has severe punishments attached to it.  Becoming a Hafidh is only part one, retaining your Hifdh is part two and this is the bigger commitment.  Memorising and retention are both as important as each other.  It is more virtuous that your child learns the last ten Surahs voluntarily and remembers them till death, rather than forcing him/her to memorise the full Holy Qur’an and he/she later forgets it.  They will then be committing a major sin as the verse explains, ‘The one who turns away from my message, he shall have a straitened life, and We shall raise him blind on the Day of Judgement’ (Surah Tahaa).

My purpose is not to be negative and discourage parents from Hifdh; it is merely an eye-opener and a gentle reminder of the realities.  We frequently hear the virtues of a Hafidh, but seldom hear the other side which are the warnings of forgetting the Holy Qur’an.  For now, let us ponder upon the following:

  • Not every child HAS to become a Hafidh.
  • The virtues of a Hafidh are great, but the warnings for those who forget the Holy Qur’an are just as great.
  • Becoming a Hafidh does not guarantee you Jannah, you must act upon the Holy Qur’an and carry out other obligations such as salah, fasting, keeping a beard, good etiquette and so forth.
  • Memorising the Holy Qur’an is not a medal to be worn around the neck once completed.  It has implications and we must repeat and revise it until our death along with leading Taraweeh salah.
  • A Hafidh is not like someone who has obtained a degree or achieved a certificate and has no further obligations.  The Hafidh has a duty thereafter to i) behave like a Hafidh according to the Sunnah ii) to understand the Holy Qur’an, especially what is halal and haram.

Narrated by Samurah bin Jundab (Allah be pleased with him), the Prophet (ﷺ) said in his narration of a dream that he saw, ‘He whose head was being crushed with a stone was one who learnt the Qur’an but never acted on it, and slept ignoring the compulsory prayers’ (Bukhari).

My aim is to create a balance – alongside all the virtues of Hifdh, there are also the punishments for forgetting the Holy Qur’an.  This does not necessarily mean forgetting the whole Qur’an, it can be a Surah or even just a verse.  Many people learn Surah Yaseen or parts of the Amma para (30th) in childhood, then later in life tend to forget it – the same punishment applies there too.

From Anas bin Malik (Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: ‘The rewards for my Ummah were displayed before me, even (the reward for) the dust that a man comes out of the Masjid with. The sins of my Ummah were displayed before me, and I have not seen a sin worse than that of a Surah or an Ayah of the Qur’an which a man learned and then forgot’ (Tirmidhi).

‘And We have indeed made the Qur’ân easy to understand and remember’ (54:17).

So, whoever strives to memorise it and recite it regularly, it will be made easy for him. And whoever turns away from it, will lose it.  Imam Ibn ul-Munadi (Allah have mercy on him) said in Mutashabih al-Qur’an (p. 52), ‘The Salaf were always afraid of forgetting Qur’an after they had memorised it because this was classed as a shortcoming.’ Imam Suyooti (Allah have mercy on him) said in al-Itqaan (1/106), ‘Forgetting it is a major sin.’  As was stated by Imam Nawawi (Allah have mercy on him) in al-Rawdah and others, because of the Hadith “I was shown the sins of my Ummah…”

For a Hifdh family (who have a child/ren memorising Qur’an), they need to prioritise.  They need to realise that memorising the Qur’an isn’t an honour bestowed on just anyone.  Yes, you are the type of parents, if the Oxford Dictionary had a definition for you, it would read thus,

Hifdh parent
/hɪfdh parent/

 

noun.
“a mum or dad whose social, emotional, physical and psychological decisions are governed by what para their children are memorising”

When one commits to this, they need to put their heart and soul and mind into it, and everything else is secondary.

Every Muslim parent wants their child to be successful in both worlds and to keep them focused on the straight path.  One of the surest ways to raise one’s child firmly on the Deen is to create a connection with the Holy Qur’an which has been explicitly sent down as a guidance for mankind.  For this connection to take place, one needs to create an affinity for this book to inspire feelings of attachment.  Understanding the Holy Qur’an and exploring its depth can all be developed later in life, but as long as parents are able to create an association between the child and the Holy Qur’an, the most important job of all is done.

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Tips for parents, In Sha Allah

Your intention should be correct for making your child a Hafidh – to please Allah SWT and to inculcate love for the Holy Qur’an in your child.  We often hear parents talking about ‘free tickets to Jannah because my child is a Hafidh.’  It’s like the poor child is carrying the sins of the whole family and if he does not complete Hifdh then the family are doomed for Hell. La Hawla Wa Laa Quwwata Illa Billah.

  1. First and foremost, observe your child’s memory skills and conclude if your child has the ability to memorise the Holy Qur’an by testing his current Surahs and Duas.  As your child becomes better at reciting the Quran, inspire him to memorise portions of the Quran such as the short Surahs, and some important, daily ones like Surah Yaseen and Surah Al-Mulk. Explain to them the importance of these various Surahs as well to create an understanding and an extra bond with the Quran.
  2. Instil the love of the Holy Qur’an into your children by buying them an audio Qur’an.  Play short Surahs whilst in the car or even on YouTube at home as they are easier to memorise – do this daily, in the morning or at night.
  3. Start early –“learning when young is like engraving on stone.”  From birth (or even in the womb), recite the Holy Qur’an to them in a beautiful voice.  Let the sound of your Qira’ah evoke love and an attachment to the Quran for them.  What would be better is to recite the Quran after Fajr, so that when your child opens his/her eyes in the morning, the very first sound he/she hears are the Words of Allah.
  4. Set goals and rewards.  Treat your child with positive reinforcements like their favourite chocolate or extra playtime when they complete a Surah/Para as this will motivate and encourage them further.  Constantly remind them of the reward and that their efforts are not being wasted.
  5. Set a timetable at home that works simultaneously and effectively with school time and school work.   Arrange two short learning sessions rather than one long one – from personal experience, after Fajr and after school is effective.  Most, if not all, experienced teachers advise the best time to memorise to be after Fajr.  Memorisation during the daytime has also proven to be effective as long as the child is stress-free and is not heavily distracted with mind-numbing game consoles and other technology.
  6. If you like, you can create a healthy competition between your children, however, DO NOT compare your children, because every child is unique.  Set different goals for each depending on their capabilities and see who reaches their goal first.
  7. Model what you want your children to emulate – children learn most from their parents’ actions rather than their commands.  Engage yourself with the Holy Qur’an, try to memorise parts of it yourself and you will notice that your children will take more interest in picking up the Holy Quran themselves.  Actions speak louder than words.
  1. Provide the right environment with the right ambience – the child’s surroundings are equally as important as the actual memorisation itself. A serene and quiet environment can reduce time spent on memorising a page by almost 10-15% as well as making it easier to retain, as the mind does not have to process and turn-off distractions.  Try selecting a place with greenery as plants tend to emit a positive energy.  The inner spiritual surroundings of the heart and soul are even more important.  It is hard for the Holy Qur’an to exist in a heart that is occupied with music, television, cartoons and games.  It is the job of the parent to create an environment conducive to learning the Qur’an by keeping their children away from negative influences, and providing them with the opportunity to go regularly to the Masjid, meeting good Muslims, pious people and attending gatherings where they can learn about the Deen.  A hifdh family is different from a normal family.
  1. To pace is better than to race.  Some children can learn three pages every day, others struggle with three lines.  Every child is different so pace your child according to his level.  Do not put a timeline on when the hifdh needs to be finished as this can make the child panic, lose confidence when deadlines are not met and are put under unnecessary pressure.  Many parents demand and force (even sub-consciously) their child to finish their hifdh ‘before their GCSE exams’ or ‘before starting college’ so that ‘it’s out of the way’.  Although this seems practical, it can sometimes have an adverse effect with the child wanting to quit due to feeling unable to finish ‘on time’.  Even if it is a lifelong task, remember ‘quality is better than quantity’. Quran is easy to memorise and remember – consistency and patience is the key.  Let your children learn with love in their hearts, rather than force and stress.
  2. Last but not least, be patient and do not get angry when your child makes mistakes.  Every child is different, and you must not create despondency in them by becoming exasperated. Try and sit with them to help them learn, encourage and give a mother and father’s support. Make dua to Allah SWT to help your child and to keep them on the path of learning throughout their lives. Pray Tahajjud and give Sadaqah on behalf of them. The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “Three supplications are answered, there being no doubt about them; that of a father (for his children), that of a traveller and that of one who has been wronged” (Abu Dawud).

In your sajdah, when it rains, when you’re fasting, when you’re walking or driving or about to sleep—every moment—make Duʿâ for Allah to open the Holy Qur’an for your child, to make it easy for them to memorise, to make them successful in their memorisation and for them to love, live and teach the Holy Qur’an through all of their intentions and actions.

Memorising the Holy Qur’an may seem like an insurmountable mountain in the beginning but with every step you take up that mountain, the body will get stronger, In Sha Allah, and with time, consistency, determination and perseverance, it will get easier, they’ll get faster and eventually they will make it to the very top of that mountain!

NB: One addition, particularly for mothers, is to feed your child some memory boosting foods, such as raw honey, Zamzam water, olive oil, dates and almonds.  Please avoid unhealthy and takeaway food or anything that has a lack of vitamins and minerals, contains high cholesterol, white sugar, carbonated beverages, processed carbohydrates and overeating in general.  Children should get sufficient sleep and a good amount of exercise.  Exercise causes more oxygen to transfer to your brain and a lack of exercise leads to laziness, weight gain, and internal health issues, and will consequently affect memorisation and other mental faculties.

The second issue is that of a teacher, i.e. finding a good teacher.  The Holy Qur’an cannot be learnt without a teacher. Even the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) learnt from angel Jibreel (Alayhis Salam). Similarly, Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) taught the Holy Qur’an and listened to it from his Companions (Allah be pleased with them).  A good teacher will not only correct one’s recitation but also teach the correct Tajweed and pronunciation.  From my own experiences of teaching children who have left other Madrasahs or classes that run from home, there seems to be a lot of emphasis on sabaq i.e. the new lesson.  Little or no emphasis is being put on their revision i.e. dawr.  Alongside this issue is of some classes being full to the brim.  I strongly believe that having 15-20 students in a Hifdh class is far too much, especially when the allocated time is typically two to two and a half hours per day.  Having this high number of children in one class, in that amount of time, is extremely unfair on them as they do not receive the full desired and needed attention.  This then leads me on to the extortionate fees at such places.  So, we have this short amount of time for the high number of children receiving minimum attention, at £10 – £15 per week. Anyone can do the maths and see that some Madrasahs, unfortunately, are turning into a business.  Unfortunately, some teachers are too focused on ‘quantity’, rather than ‘quality’ and there is ample proof of this.  I am no saint nor a great scholar but if you are teaching the Holy Qur’an solely to make money or business, your teaching will be bereft of any sort of barakah and noor.

 

 

“The best among you (Muslims) are those who learn the Qur’an and teach it” (Sahih Bukhari)

 

 

 

Tips for teachers In Sha Allah:

  1. Having a pure intention: Whether it is memorising the Qur’an or doing anything else for the sake of Allah SWT, the single most important thing needed for the success of that goal is to have the right intention. One must secure one’s intention purely for the sake of Allah SWT, for even if the person does not achieve success in this world, his success is guaranteed in the hereafter.  Do not make your Madrasah/Class a money making business. Also, remind your students to have a firm intention for Allah SWT.
  2. “And recite the Qur’an (aloud) in a slow, (pleasant tone and) style”(73:4).   Ali (Allah be pleased with him) commented on this verse saying, “Tarteel is Tajweed of the letters and recognising the places of Waqf (stopping).  Before teaching the children Hifdh, please ensure their Tajweed is rectified and their pronunciation is correct as incorrect pronunciation can change the meaning.
  3. Don’t have an age limit for your class, as there is no real age when to start Hifdh and it is never too late – In Sha Allah. Some teachers do recommend age seven, others recommend eleven.  My personal opinion is that some children are seen to mature before others so can start earlier.  Sometimes children of the same age are worlds apart in their understanding and receptiveness.  Sometimes a child who is brilliant in school might have a harder time with the Holy Qur’an.  Judge your student for who he is before embarking him on the journey to learn the Qur’an.
  4. Ensure your students have one specific copy of the Holy Qur’an from which he/she reads all the time.  A visual image of the page leaves an imprint in the mind making it easier to recall later.
  5. Encourage students to read melodiously and beautify their recitation as much as they can. It is pleasing to one’s ears and provides an incentive to continue with the memorisation.  It helps to make one’s memorisation firm and strong because any mistake will instantly feel and sound incorrect as it will distort the harmony of the rhythm one is used to.  A Miswak is instrumental in this, it cleans the teeth but also clears the throat.  Ali (Allah be pleased with him) said: “Verily, your mouths are the pathways of the Qur’an, therefore cleanse your mouth with the Miswak thoroughly” (Ibn Majah).
  6. Keep rewards charts/stickers for the children; praise them regularly for their good efforts and gently correct them when they falter.  Avoid negativity, never use a loud voice, harsh words or insulting remarks when it comes to instructing or motivating your students.
  7. “And if an evil suggestion comes to you from Satan, then seek refuge in Allah. Indeed, He is Hearing and Knowing” [7: 200].  Shaytan will always try and stop this meritorious deed. Remind your students of the virtues of the Qur’an and becoming a Hafidh of the Qur’an. Consistency is key and there are no holidays or weekends when you are memorising Quran.  Students should be trained (as well as parents) to understand that any time off will most certainly have repercussions on their learning.  Also, try not to give too many holidays in summer and in Ramadhan too as this can be disastrous in Hifdh class.
  8. The Ustadh should always remain in a state of Wudhu, reminding the children to keep their Wudhu for as long as possible. “Truly, Allah loves those who turn unto Him in repentance and loves those who purify themselves (by taking a bath and cleaning and washing thoroughly their private parts, bodies, for their prayers, etc” [2: 222].  The Prophet (ﷺ) used to remain in a state of cleanliness and Wudhu.  This is one of the best ways to keep Shaytan from influencing us and whispering evil thoughts.  Allah SWT loves those who keep themselves clean and it is only His love and protection that can help us defeat our greatest enemy.
  9. I was reading online about a particular Ustadh in another country whose Hifdh class students were known to be the best in the town. Why? Every month he would gather the students one evening and make them lead in Tahajjud, they would read their Qur’an that they had memorised that month. This might be hard, but not impossible!  If not for Tahajjud, maybe one weekend in the daytime make them lead in Nafl Salah.  This will boost their confidence and also train them for Taraweeh, which is the litmus test for every Hafidh.
  10.  And finally, the last point but probably the most important – there is absolutely no excuse or justification for physical beating or abuse when it comes to teaching.  This was never seen in the life of the Prophet (ﷺ) nor the illustrious companions (Allah be pleased with them).  I know of many adults who have either left Islam or abandoned the Holy Qur’an at an older age because of the harshness that was associated with it at a younger age, due to culture and not religion.  I always say, “give them sweets and avoid the beats.”

NB: Teach the students Adab/etiquettes – how to hold the Holy Qur’an with respect, not to make drawings in their holy Qur’an and always carry the Holy Qur’an in their right hand.  It is very sad to see, more often than not, children walking home with their holy Qur’ans in their left hands, which is such a basic etiquette generally forgotten by Ustadhs.

Exclusive advice from Umm Muhammad (a hafidhah class teacher)

I felt girls are usually left out when it comes to Hifdh, even though this is changing now. Alhumdu Lillah, in Blackburn we have half a dozen Hafidhah classes. So I asked one of the local teachers to write a few paragraphs, as advice for girls.

My personal experience is girls have a better attention span when it comes to learning and focusing. However, they are fragile by nature (especially when they are younger).

It is more beneficial for girls to start at a young age (before puberty) as it gives them a head start and they will not be disturbed by their menstrual cycle.  However, Hifdh can be started at any age, as stated previously in the book.

Once girls start their menstrual cycle it becomes a little harder due to the number of days they are taking off from learning and revising each month.  The impact of this is it is harder for them to get back into a routine and they can struggle with sabaq para and dawr (revision) as a result.

Repetition: Begin with one verse or a group of verses and repeat it/them until you’ve committed them to memory.

Writing – Go over the verse with your finger over and over. For visual and kinesthetic learners, the process of moving one’s hand to dictate the verses, combined with the visual focus of spelling every word correctly, helps commit the verses to the brain’s long-term memory.

For kinesthetic learners, movement is key to learning.  Directing the verses means acting out key elements in verses with hand or head movements. So, for example, if the verse is discussing rain, one can use one’s fingers to make the movements of rain coming down from the sky. If the verse mentions an elephant, one can use one’s arms to make the trunk of an elephant.  This would only be applicable for those who know the Arabic translation of the Qur’an.

In comparison to boys there is less emphasis and encouragement on girls to do Hifdh, as there is fear that due to their menstrual cycle and childbearing, females can forget or have less time to revise. Whilst this may be true, a person who has memorised and has revised well in their student years will not find it too difficult to maintain, In Sha Allah. I completed my Hifdh after marriage, Alhumdu Lillah!

Memorising the holy Qur’an is like working out with weights. At first, when you begin lifting weights, you lift a certain amount that you can handle and heavier weights may seem impossible.  You may look at others who lift weights and stare in awe as they lift so much more than you feel you could ever do.  But if you lift those same weights every day or every other day for a year, they become too light for you! You add more weights as your body strengthens and eventually even those are too light. So you continue to add as your body becomes stronger, faster, and all of what you previously used to lift no longer proves challenging.

It’s the same way with the Holy Qur’an.  It takes practise. Commitment. Time. Focus. Energy. And if you aren’t doing it every single day and working with a teacher on a daily basis, it’s going to take even longer. That’s okay.  It is not a race. You do not need to finish your entire memorisation in a year or two or even three or four if you have all these other life responsibilities going on.  Enjoy the journey of memorisation. When you’re frustrated, take a short break to rejuvenate and regroup, and then begin again.

Always remember, a female doing Hifdh is full of blessings – for herself and her family/children. Finally, only women have this blessing of conceiving and if a woman recites Qur’an regularly during her pregnancy, surely the barakah will be seen on the newborn child.  If a non-Hafidha can also recite Holy Qur’an, surely it is much easier for a Hafidhah to recite off by heart whilst carrying out her daily chores.

I hope to see more girls becoming Hafidhah and learning the meaning of the Qur’an, along with teaching Tafsir and Tajweed, In Sha Allah. The importance of learning is just as much in women as it is in men.  My advice to the Ummah at large is to show respect to such girls, just like we respect the males as well.

I will conclude with some advice for those who are either fully Hafidh or have memorised a portion of the Qur’an but are struggling to revise and refresh it.  It was narrated that ‘Abdullah (Allah be pleased with him) said the Prophet (ﷺ) said: “It is not right for any one of you to say, ‘I have forgotten such and such.’ On the contrary, he has been made to forget. Try to review the Qur’an, for it is more likely to escape from men’s hearts than camels (let loose)” (Bukhari, 5032).

I read these lines of poetry written by Imam Shafi’ee (Allah be pleased with him) when he complained to his teacher about a weak memory and they have stayed with me since:

I complained to Wakee‘ RH about my poor memory:
Give up your sins, was his advice to me;
For knowledge is a light from divinity,
And the Light of God is veiled by iniquity.

 

If one strives hard to review the Qur’an regularly, there will be no sin on him even if he does forget some of it, for Allah sees the effort.  The blame is on those who neglect the Qur’an and fail to review it and read it regularly.  Let’s put it this way: the blessings of memorising the words of Allah and the barakah it brings to the life of a Muslim cannot be beaten!  My advice would be to memorise as much as you can even if it is an Ayah and review it every day, for the Qur’an will be a great companion to have in the grave and on the Day of Judgement.  Additionally, for Madrasah teachers who aren’t necessarily Hifdh teachers, let them be aware of implementing the memorisation of certain virtuous Surahs such as Surah Waqiah, Surah Mulk, Surah Kahf.  The student may memorise them at the moment but later forget or keep up with its revision as to them this is not necessary because they are not a Hafidh/Hafidhah and also, the whole system of retention is not embedded in them like it is for an actual Hafidh/Hafidhah.

We, the Huffadh need to contemplate once or twice a week about how much Allah Ta’ala has been kind to us that He has made us from the elite of this Ummah.  Are we living up to this title? With what perspective do the people look at us? Do they respect us because of who we are or because of our being from those who uphold the Qur’an? These are just some questions we need to ask ourselves and ponder over – Hadhrat Mawlana Muhammad Saleem Saheb Dhorat (hafidhahullah).

Since there is no book except the Book of Allah that is free from deficiencies or errors, we always welcome and encourage any advice, comments, criticism and corrections so long as they are scholastic and evidence-based.

Allah grants this book His approval.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bC9CykWg-uM

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Ismail ibn Nazir Satia (One who is in dire need of Allah’s forgiveness, mercy and pleasure).

1 Muharram 1439

Categories
Ruqya

The Magician’s Plot

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

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These are notes from the above course delivered in Manchester, 2nd April 2017. As they are notes please excuse the lack of references and brevity. Any corrections, please feel free to comment below. JazakAllah Khayran.

Intro – Brother Jalal ibn Sa’eed (London)

“Do not put your sin above Allah.” Sometimes we sin and think our sin is unforgivable. Ask Allah for forgiveness and Allah will forgive you.

Allah tests us in different ways, the greater the trial the greater the reward.

It was narrated from Mus’ab bin Sa’d RA that his father, Sa’d bin Abu Waqqas RA, said:

“I said: ‘O Messenger of Allah ﷺ, which people are most severely tested?’ He said: ‘The Prophets ﷺ, then the next best and the next best. A person is tested according to his religious commitment. If he is steadfast in his religious commitment, he will be tested more severely, and if he is frail in his religious commitment, his test will be according to his commitment. Trials will continue to afflict a person until they leave him walking on the earth with no sin on him.’” (Ibn Majah)

 

“Sihr” comes from the root word “Suhoor”, which mean darkness. The whole aspect of magic it’s just a jinn, to scare you and make you think they can do something supernatural. The truth is, nothing is supernatural – only Allah is supernatural ‘La Hawla Wa La Quwwata Illa Billah’ (There is no power or might except with Allah).

Even the Prophet ﷺ had Sihr (black magic). His enemies got the most powerful sorcerer. The effect of it was He kept thinking he needed to do ghusl. It was done by a Jewish man Labeed ibn A’sam, who took hair from the comb of the Prophet ﷺ and date skin from a tree. Eventually, they found the well which had date-palms like the devil’s horns. (I have found the full hadith below)

Narrated Aishah RA: Magic was worked on Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) so that he used to think that he had sexual relations with his wives while he actually had not (Sufyan said: That is the hardest kind of magic as it has such an effect). Then one day he said, “O `Aishah do you know that Allah has instructed me concerning the matter I asked Him about? Two men came to me and one of them sat near my head and the other sat near my feet. The one near my head asked the other. What is wrong with this man?’ The latter replied he is under the effect of magic The first one asked, Who has worked magic on him?’ The other replied Labid bin Al-A’sam, a man from Bani Zuraiq who was an ally of the Jews and was a hypocrite.’ The first one asked, what material did he use)?’ The other replied, ‘A comb and the hair stuck to it.’ The first one asked, ‘Where (is that)?’ The other replied. ‘In a skin of pollen of a male date palm tree kept under a stone in the well of Dharwan’ ” So the Prophet (ﷺ) went to that well and took out those things and said “That was the well which was shown to me (in a dream) Its water looked like the infusion of Henna leaves and its date-palm trees looked like the heads of devils.” The Prophet (ﷺ) added, “Then that thing was taken out’ I said (to the Prophet (ﷺ) ) “Why do you not treat yourself with Nashra?” He said, “Allah has cured me; I dislike to let evil spread among my people.” (Bukhari)

 

Please remember, whomsoever Allah loves the most, He SWT will test him.

It was narrated from Anas bin Malik RA that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:

“The greatest reward comes with the greatest trial. When Allah loves a people He tests them. Whoever accepts that wins His pleasure but whoever is discontent with that earns His wrath.” (Ibn Majah)

Shaykh Khalid Hibshi (Kingdom of Saudi Arabia)

The first thing we must understand is Tawheed, the Oneness of Allah SWT. Allah controls everything and is the Master of everything. Nothing can happen without His approval and nothing is out of His control.

We wish we could live in ease, in comfort. There would be no jealousy, no hatred, no enmity. But the truth is besides that. Iblis has promised to destroy us.

When we were born, Shaytan poked us until we cried. Hadith says, “There is no baby except that the Shaytan pokes it when it is born, so it screams from the Shaytan’s poke, except for Ibn Maryam and his mother.” (Bukhari)

The Prophet ﷺ taught us how to protect ourselves at certain times; whilst eating;

The phrase that is prescribed for mentioning Allah when eating is to say “Bismillah” (In the name of Allah), because of the report narrated by ‘A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her), that the Prophet ﷺ said: “When one of you eats some food, let him say Bismillah, and if he forgets to do so at the beginning, let him say Bismillah fi awwalihi wa aakhirihi (In the name of Allah at the beginning and end). Narrated by at-Tirmidhi, 1781.

whilst drinking;

Sayyiduna Abu Hurayrah RA reports that Rasulullah ﷺ would drink in three breaths. When he would lift the cup to his mouth, he would say ‘Bismillah’ and when completed [the sip], he would say ‘Alhamdulillah’. Nabi (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa Sallam) would do this thrice. (Al Mu’jamul Awsat of Imam Tabarani, Hadith: 844. Declared sound Hasan by Hafiz Ibn Hajar, Fathul Bari, under Hadith: 5631. Also see Majma’uz Zawaid, vol. 5 pg, 81 and Al Futuhatur Rabbaniyyah, vol. 5 pg. 240/241)

whilst going to the toilet:

Narrated Anas RA: Whenever the Prophet (ﷺ) went to answer the call of nature, he used to say, “Allah-umma inni a`udhu bika minal Khubuthi wal Khaba’ith” i.e. O Allah, I seek Refuge with You from all offensive and wicked things (evil deeds and evil spirits). (Bukhari)

 

and when going to sleep, as well as during intercourse;

“Recite بِسْمِ اللَّهِ Bismillah (In the name of Allah) before closing the doors of the house, before covering utensils with food in them, switch off or turn off fires, light etc.” [Bukhari] “If one cannot find anything with which to cover the utensil then one should place a stick across the top of the utensil.” [Muslim]

“Before climbing into bed, dust the bed thrice with the corner of your clothes.” [Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawood, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah]

“To make Miswak before retiring to bed even if one has already made it for Isha prayer.” [Kitabut Tahaarah and Sunnats]

“To sleep in a state of Wudhu.” [Tabarani, Hakim, Abu Dawood]

“To sleep on the Right, facing the Qibla with the right hand underneath the head like a pillow and with the knees slightly bent.” [Bukhari]

It was narrated from Aa’ishah RA that when the Prophet (ﷺ) went to bed every night, he would hold his hands together and blow into them, and recite into them Qul Huwa Allaahu Ahad, Qul a’oodhu bi rabb il-falaq and Qul a’oodhu bi rabb il-naas. Then he would wipe them over whatever he could of his body, starting with his head and face and the front of his body, and he would do that three times. [Bukhari]

If afraid to go to sleep or feeling lonely or depressed then recite:
أَعُوذُ بِكَلِمَاتِ اللهِ التَّامَّاتِ مِنْ غَضَبِهِ وَعِقَابِهِ، وَشَرِّ عِبَادِهِ، وَمِنْ هَمَزَاتِ الشَّيَاطِينِ وَأَنْ يَحْضُرُونِ

A’oothu bikalimaatil-laahit-taammaati min ghadhabihi wa ‘iqaabihi, wa sharri ‘ibaadihi, wa min hamazaatish-shayaateeni wa ‘an yahdhuroon.

I seek refuge in the Perfect Words of Allah from His anger and His punishment, from the evil of His slaves and from the taunts of devils and from their presence. [Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi]

Narrated Ibn `Abbas RA:The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “If anyone of you, when having sexual intercourse with his wife, says: Bismillah, Allahumma jannibni-Sh-Shaitan wa jannib-ish-Shaitan ma razaqtana, and if it is destined that they should have a child, then Satan will never be able to harm him.” [NB: Please recite before removing clothes, as we shouldn’t take the name of Allah unclothed].

 

Even when we are praying Salah Shaytan whispers. One of the Sahabah RA complained to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ about waswaas (satanic whispers) during prayer, and he ﷺ said: “The Shaytan comes between me and my prayers and my recitation, confusing me therein.” The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “That is a devil called Khanzab. If he affects you seek refuge in Allah from him and spit drily to your left three times.” He [the Sahabi] said, I did that and Allah took him away from me. (Narrated by Muslim, 2203)

He makes us think we have broken our Wudhu when we haven’t. Repeating Wudu again and again due to doubts is the result of falling into satanic whispers. It is action driven by a negative thought. Wudhu does not break on mere doubts and this rule is very clear from the Ahadith of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم: Abu Hurairah رضى الله عنه narrated that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, “If one of you finds a disturbance in his abdomen and is not certain if he has released any gas or not, he should not leave the mosque unless he hears its sound or smells its scent.” (Sahih Muslim)

Ibn al-Mubarak RH, “If one is uncertain about his condition of purity, he does not need to perform a new ablution.”

(Shaykh Khalid said)… If I were to ask you, put your hands up if Shaytan walked into this room, you would get scared? Many of us would. Whereas we should only fear Allah SWT. Some of us fear the creation so much if a mouse came we would run for miles.

Have we forgotten, Iblis and his army stood shoulder to shoulder on the Day of Badr. Whilst the Muslims stood with the angels, so Iblis got scared.

And [remember] when Satan made their deeds pleasing to them and said, “No one can overcome you today from among the people, and indeed, I am your protector.” But when the two armies sighted each other, he turned on his heels and said, “Indeed, I am disassociated from you. Indeed, I see what you do not see; indeed I fear Allah. And Allah is severe in penalty.” (8:48)

Once the Prophet ﷺ started praying Salah, he stepped forward and backwards. Again, forward and backwards, then he ﷺ took his blessed hand out. After Salah, he ﷺ asked Sahabah RA, “Did you see me move forward and backwards?” They replied, “Yes!” It was Shaytan and he had a fire with which he tried to harm me, so I strangled him.

“The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Last night a big demon (afreet) from the Jinns came to me and wanted to interrupt my prayers (or said something similar) but Allah enabled me to overpower him. I wanted to fasten him to one of the pillars of the mosque so that all of you could see him in the morning but I remembered the statement of my brother Solomon (as stated in Quran): My Lord! Forgive me and bestow on me a kingdom such as shall not belong to anybody after me (38.35).” The sub-narrator Rauh said, “He (the demon) was dismissed humiliated.”

 

Many of the Salaf had Sihr upon them.

Abu Sulaiman Darami RH says, “I would stand at night in prayer. Shaytan would come in the form of a snake. Sometimes he would come up my Thawb (garment).”

The teacher of Imam Bukhari RH, Yahya ibn Ma’een RH would recite Ayatul Kursiyy 5 times when he entered his house. Even though there is no Hadith to endorse this, but he would pray it every time he entered his house. Until he would hear a voice say, “That’s enough!” (One narration says 50 times).

Imam Malik RH related to me from Safiyy RA, the mawla of Ibn Aflah RA that Abu’s-Saib, the mawla of Hisham ibn Zuhra RA said, “I went to Abu Saeed al-Khudri RA and found him praying. I sat to wait for him until he finished the prayer. I heard a movement under a bed in his room, and it was a snake. I stood up to kill it, and Abu Saeed gestured to me to sit. When he was finished he pointed to a room in the house and said, ‘Do you see this room?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘There was a young boy in it who had just got married. He went out with the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, to al-Khandaq, (the ditch which the Muslims dug in the 5th year of the Hijra to defend Madina against the Quraysh and their allies).

When he was there, the youth came and asked his permission, saying, “Messenger of Allah. Give me permission to return to my family.” The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, gave him permission and said, “Take your weapons with you, for I fear the Banu Quraydha tribe. They may harm you.” The youth went to his family and found his wife standing between the two doors. He lifted his spear to stab her as jealousy had been aroused in him. She said, “Don’t be hasty until you go in and see what is in your house.” He entered and found a snake coiled up on his bed. He transfixed it with his spear and then went out with it and pitched it into the house. The snake stirred on the end of the spear and the youth fell dead. No one knew which of them died first, the snake or the youth. That was mentioned to the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and he said, “There are Jinn in Madinah who have become Muslim. When you see one of them, call out to it for three days. If it appears after that, then kill it, for it is a Shaytan.” “‘

This is the reason the Prophet ﷺ forbade us from urinating in holes. As Jinn/snakes can reside there. If you harm them, they may take revenge. Narrated Abdullah ibn Sarjis RA:

“The Prophet (ﷺ) prohibited to urinate in a hole.” (Abu Dawud)

Qatadah RH (a narrator) was asked about the reason for the disapproval of urinating in a hole. He replied: It is said that these (holes) are the habitats of the jinn.

These events are present in today’s day and age. One of the greatest things the Shaykh has seen was: A person had a car accident, he was taken to the hospital immediately. Whilst in hospital, the Jinn spoke from inside him, “He has harmed me! He ran me over in his car! So I took revenge!”

It is very important to read morning and evening Duas.

Read Bismillah before we do anything, the Hadith says:

Abu Hurayrah RA: The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “Every important word or matter that does not being with the remembrance of Allah is maimed.” Imam Ahmad in al-Musnad (14/329)

 

Imam Ahmad also recorded in his Musnad, that a person who was riding behind the Prophet ﷺ said, “The Prophet’s ﷺ animal tripped, so I said, `Cursed Shaytan.’ The Prophet said, “Do not say, ‘Cursed Shaytan,’ for if you say these words, Satan becomes arrogant and says, ‘With my strength I made him fall.’ When you say, ‘Bismillah,’ Satan will become as small as a fly.”

Also, the Bismillah is recommended before eating, for Muslim recorded in his Sahih that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said to `Umar bin Abi Salamah while he was a child under his care,

“Say Bismillah, eat with your right hand and eat from whatever is next to you.”

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: If one says when eating, Bismillah ir-Rahmaan ir-Raheem, that is good and more perfect. End quote from al-Fataawa al-Kubra, 5/480

Imam Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: It is more important to note the phrase to be used when mentioning the name of Allah. … The best is to say Bismillah ir-Rahmaan ir-Raheem, but if one says Bismillah, that is sufficient and fulfils the Sunnah. End quote from al-Adhkaar, 1/231

Ali bin Abi Talib RA narrated that: the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “The screen between the eyes of the jinns and nakedness of the children of Adam when one of you enters the area of relieving oneself is saying: ‘Bismillah.'” (Tirmidhi)

I would like to add another Sunnah, it was narrated from Jabir ibn ‘Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:“When the wings of the night spread – or when evening comes – keep your children in, for the devils come out at that time. Then when part of the night has passed, let them go. And close the doors and mention the name of Allah, for the Shaytan does not open a closed door. And tie up your waterskins and mention the name of Allah, and cover your vessels and mention the name of Allah, even if you only put something over them, and extinguish your lamps.”  Narrated by Bukhari (3280) and Muslim (2012). A version narrated by Muslim says: “Cover vessels, tie up waterskins, close doors and extinguish lamps, for the Shaytan does not undo waterskins or open doors or uncover vessels.” 

 

“And from the evil of the envier when he envies.” [113:5]

We need to avoid evil eye and evil glances. Nowadays, the mobile phone can take you to those places. Even if you don’t go yourself. You can easily be affected by evil eye, it will get into your body But hard to get out. Remember, the Prophet ﷺ told the best of people, ‘Sawwam and Qawwam and Akmalun naas imaana’ [Regular fasting, frequent in Tahajjud, best of people in Iman], the Sahabah RA – still they were told to protect themselves from evil eye:

It was narrated from ‘Aishah RA that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: “Seek refuge with Allah, for the evil eye is real.”

It was narrated from ‘Aishah RA that the Prophet (ﷺ) commanded her to recite Ruqyah to treat the evil eye.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The evil eye is real and if anything were to overtake the divine decree, it would be the evil eye. When you are asked to take a bath (to provide a cure) from the influence of the evil eye, you should take a bath.” (Muslim).

What are we doing to protect ourselves?

What is worse, evil eye or cancer?

What is worse, evil eye or swine flu?

What is worse, evil eye a deadly disease?

Evil eye can be there from a young age till old age.

Light travels 186,282 miles per second (299,792 kilometres per second), evil eye travels faster than this.

There are many types of evil eye, astonishing eye – when you see something amazing on your husband/wife. You can even afflict yourself, just like this the Jinn can affect you with evil eye. Brothers and sisters, learn to say “MA SHA ALLAH!” “BARAK ALLAH!”

Cure: Not just evil eye, anything that befalls us is due to sins. We need to avoid sins completely, major and minor. Then Fardh Salah, Sunan (plural of Sunnah), offer them in a way that pleases Allah. The Prophet SAW said,”People in Salah, some only get half the reward, some a quarter, some one tenth and some the full reward.” Because of the lack of concentration, where is our concentration in Salah?

Look at our Salah, we are all aware of our own Salah. Whereas the Munafiq (hypocrites) prayed five times a day WITH JAMA’AH. But despite this Allah says, “Verily the Hypocrites will be in the lowest part of Hell.” (Surah Nisaa)

Only the known Munafiq would delay his Salah after Fajr. Most of us only pray Jumu’ah. We don’t ever offer any nafl  or tahajjud, but our lives are full of sin.

E.g. each one of us has a computer or laptop, we use anti-virus to protect it from viruses. In the same way we need to protect our bodies and our Iman!

The Prophet ﷺ forbade us from many clothes which draw attraction. We all use social media, we put up our best pictures, best food and family’s pictures. To cause evil eye you don’t need to be in front of someone. A digital image is enough. Social media is a big cause of the evil eye.

Even by smelling can cause evil eye. You make biryani, someone smells it and says “What wonderful biryani.!” Also, by hearing, someone came first in his exams and shouted his results. A jealous person states, “How’s it possible?” The evil eye is passed on. By tasting, you made a cake and someone bit it and said, “Such a sweet cake!”

Brothers, remain humble at all times and do not display the blessings of Allah SWT.

Ibn ‘Abbas RA reported Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) as saying: “The influence of an evil eye is a fact; if anything would precede the destiny it would be the influence of an evil eye, and when you are asked to take bath (as a cure) from the influence of an evil eye, you should take bath.” (Muslim)

It was narrated from Abu Hurairah RA that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: “The evil eye is real.” (Ibn Majah)

NB: One must seek advice from someone qualified for a cure, but here are a few tips to help you In Sha Allah, Shaykh mentioned the following things help to cure black magic/evil eye:

Quran recitation – “And We send down of the Quran that which is a healing and a mercy to those who believe.” (Surah Al-Israa, 17:82)

Ruqya –  Narrated `Aisha RA: “The Prophet (ﷺ) ordered me or somebody else to do Ruqya (if there was danger) from an evil eye.” (Bukhari)

Sidr leaves – Al-Hafiz Ibn Hajar Al-‘Asqalani RH said in Al-Fath that “Ibn Abtal stated in the books of Wahab bin Menabah to take seven leaves of a green Sidr, grind them with two rocks, add water to it, read the verse of Al Kursi (2:255) and Al-Qawakil (the Surah’s which start with “Qul”), take three sips, then wash up with the rest. This will remove all of his afflictions, and is a cure for men who have sexual disorders.” (Fath Al-Bari -10/233)

Hijamah (cupping) – Narrated Abu Hurayrah RA: The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “If anyone has himself cupped on the 17th, 19th and 21st it will be a remedy for every disease.” (Abu Dawud)

Ajwah dates – Narrated Sa`d RA: I heard Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) saying, “Whoever takes seven ‘Ajwa dates in the morning will not be affected by magic or poison on that day.” (Bukhari)

Zam Zam water – Ibn al-Mubarak RH entered Zamzam and said, “O Allah, Ibn al-Mu’ammal told me, from Abu’l-Zubayr from Jabir that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: ‘The water of Zamzam is for whatever purpose it is drunk for,’ so, O Allah, I am drinking it (to quench) my thirst on the Day of Resurrection.”

In addition to these, I would like to add a few more:

Black seed oil – Narrated Khalid bin Sa`d RA: “We went out and Ghalib bin Abjar was accompanying us. He fell ill on the way and when we arrived at Medina he was still sick. Ibn Abi ‘Atiq came to visit him and said to us, “Treat him with black cumin. Take five or seven seeds and crush them (mix the powder with oil) and drop the resulting mixture into both nostrils, for `Aisha has narrated to me that she heard the Prophet (ﷺ) saying, ‘This black cumin is healing for all diseases except As-Sam.’ Aisha said, ‘What is As-Sam?’ He said, ‘Death.” (Bukhari)

Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Treat your sick ones with charity.” (Saheeh al Jami) Giving Sadaqah also helps, little or large in sha Allah.

Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said, “When the Adhan has been pronounced Satan takes to his heels and passes wind with noise during his flight in order not to hear the Adhan. When the Adhan is completed he comes back and again takes to his heels when the Iqamah is pronounced and after its completion he returns again till he whispers into the heart of the person (to divert his attention from his prayer) and makes him remember things which he does not recall to his mind before the prayer and that causes him to forget how much he has prayed.” 

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Vol. 1, Book 10, Hadith 6)

Finally, from my own experience going for Hajj/Umrah benefits greatly. Makkah Sharif and Madinah sharif are such blessed places, just visiting them can cure a person. Remember, they are surrounded by angels and the rahmah of Allah is constantly descending in plenty-fold. Also, giving Sadaqah/charity is powerful. It breaks the backbone of Shaytan.

 

Notetaker – Ismail ibn Nazir (One who is in dire need of Allah’s forgiveness, mercy and pleasure)

21 Rajab 1438

 

 

 

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Shaykh Saleem Dhorat

The Qur’ān – A Clear Proof

By Hadrat Mawlānā Muhammad Saleem Dhorat hafizahullāh

Indeed, We have sent down the Dhikr [the Qur‘ān], and indeed We are its guardian. (15:9)

In this verse Allāh ta‘ālā proclaims that it is He, and He alone, who has revealed the Glorious Qur’ān to mankind, which means it is His Word. This claim is followed by a proof to validate it: that Allāh ta‘ālā Himself is its guardian and protector. When Allāh ta‘ālā protects something, nothing and no one can ever interfere with it, so the continual preservation of the Qur’ān is a proof that it is the Word of Allāh ta‘ālā. There are many other proofs of the Divine origin of the Qur’ān, including its i‘jāz (inimitability) – the challenge to mankind to invent even a single verse to match the Qur’ān in its perfection. However, the preservation of the Qur’ān is a proof that even a child can understand.

Over 1,400 years have passed and it is still plain for everyone to see that not a single change has occurred in the Qur’ān. To fulfil the promise of protecting the Qur’ān, Allāh ta‘ālā has created a comprehensive system consisting of scribes who accurately copy the text; huffāzwho accurately memorise its words; qurrā who preserve its mode of recitation; and mufassirīn, muhaddithīn, fuqahā and ‘ulamā who protect its meaning and message.

Non-Muslim experts, while arguing over the authorship of the Qur’ān, nevertheless acknowledge that despite the passage of over fourteen centuries it has not undergone even the slightest alteration – not of a single letter or diacritical mark.

It is obvious that a very powerful being must be safeguarding the Qur’ān for it to have been preserved over so many centuries.

The Protected Book

‘Allāmah Al-Qurtubī rahimahullāh narrates an interesting story about the preservation of the Qur’ān. Once a stranger attended one of the debates that the ‘Abbāsid Khalīfah Ma’mūn Ar-Rashīd used to hold at his court. The man spoke eloquently during the debate, and afterwards Ma’mūn summoned him. Sensing that he was not a Muslim he asked him whether he was a Jew. The man replied that he was. Ma’mūn then invited him to embrace Islām and, as a test, offered him incentives for doing so. However, the man preferred to keep his religion, the religion of his forefathers.

A year later the same man attended the court of Ma’mūn as a Muslim and spoke learnedly on Islamic jurisprudence. Afterwards, Ma’mūn called him and asked him if he was the same man who had come the year before. He replied in the affirmative, and upon being asked how he had come to become a Muslim he told his story.

After he had left the debate the previous year he had decided to examine the different religions. Being a good calligrapher he made three copies of the Tawrāt, making some additions and omissions in the process. He took the copies to its adherents and they bought them from him. He then made three copies of the Injīl, again making some additions and omissions, and took them to its adherents, who bought them. Then he did exactly the same with the Qur’ān and took the copies to the Muslims. They checked them and when they noticed the additions and omissions they discarded the copies and refused to buy them. “I realised then that this was a Protected Book, and that was how I came to embrace Islām,” concluded the man.

Enthusiasm for Memorising the Qur’ān

The preservation of the Qur’ān is a great miracle, and the means Allāh ta‘ālā employs in its preservation are also amazing. Parents who encourage their children to memorise the entire Qur’ān are aware of the rewards they and their children will receive for doing so, but the children themselves are not. If you were to ask the students of a typical tahfīz-ul-Qur’ān class what the rewards for memorising the Qur’ān are, majority would not be able to reply. Despite this, the desire Allāh ta‘ālā places in their hearts to memorise the Qur’ān is such that very few if any would dream of giving it up.

Wherever you go you will see that there are never enough tahfīz-ul-Qur’ān classes and that they are always oversubscribed! Just think, what power is there besides Allāh ta‘ālā that is keeping our children committed to memorising the Qur’ān? There are countless other well-known good deeds that promise great rewards, yet people do not adhere to them with such commitment and dedication as to memorising the Qur’ān. Allāh ta‘ālā Himself puts the love of memorising His Word into the hearts of young people!

Nowhere in the whole world will you see classes full of children memorising a book that they do not understand. It is a miracle of the Qur’ān that people are able to learn a whole foreign alphabet and how to read in the foreign language, without learning to understand the language; furthermore, then they memorise a whole book in that language, and then keep it memorised for the rest of their lives.

Remarkable Huffāz

Throughout history there are examples of people who memorised the Qur’ān at a very young age and also in a very short time. Ibn Labbān rahimahullāh memorised the entire Qur’ān in just one year, remarkable in itself, but even more amazing is that he completed his memorisation at the age of five! Hāfiz Ibn Hajar Al-Asqalānī rahimahullāh became a hāfiz by the age of nine, and at the age of eleven led the Tarāwīh Salāh in Al-Masjid Al-Harām. Imām Ash-Shāfi‘ī rahimahullāh memorised the Qur’ān in just one month. When Imām Muhammadrahimahullāh went to study under Imām Abū Hanīfah rahimahullāh he was asked whether he had memorised the entire Qur’ān or not, for admission to his classes was conditional on being a hāfiz. He replied that he had not, but his desire to acquire knowledge was so great that he returned after just one week and told Imām Abū Hanīfah rahimahullāh that he was now a hāfiz!

Connect Yourself to the Qur’ān

After learning something of the miraculous nature of the Glorious Qur’ān, we need to take some practical steps to connect ourselves with it:

1.  Reciting the Qur’ān regularly. Recite one juz daily, or if that is not possible then half a juz or a quarter, but recite daily. If the remembrance of Allāh ta‘ālā in its various forms such as tasbīh, tahmīd, salāt ‘alan-Nabī, du‘ā etc. are compared to individual ‘vitamins’ beneficial to a person’s spiritual health, the Qur’ān can be likened to a multivitamin, for it contains them all.

2.  Attend tajwīd classes in your locality in order to learn how to recite the Qur’ān properly, which is one of the rights of the Qur’ān.

3.  Attend the Durūs (lessons) of the Qur’ān delivered by the ‘ulamā in your locality in order to understand the message of the Qur’ān.

4.  Practise upon the teachings of the Qur’ān.

5.  Propagate the teachings of the Qur’ān.

6.  Respect the people of the Qur’ān, i.e. the huffāz and ‘ulamā. Refrain from disrespecting them and talking ill of them at all costs. ‘Umar ibn ‘Abd-ul-‘Azīzrahimahullāh used to say, “Become an ‘ālim if you can. If you cannot then become a student of ‘ilm. And if you cannot then have love for them [the ‘ulamā and students]. And if you cannot then do not have hatred for them.”

May Allāh ta‘ālā grant us love for and affinity with the Qur’ān, the ability to memorise it, recite it in the proper manner, understand it and act according to it. Āmīn.

© Islāmic Da’wah Academy

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Shaykh Saleem Dhorat

How to Acquire Husn Al-Khatimah


11th Safar 1438 AH ~ Friday 11th November 2016

By Hadrat Mawlānā Muhammad Saleem Dhorat hafizahullāh

If we study the lives of the pious servants of Allāh ta‘ālā, i.e. the Ambiyā, Sahābahradhiyallāhu ‘anhum, the Muhaddithūn, Fuqahā, Awliyā, we will find one common factor in their lives, and that is their concern for securing Husn Al-Khātimah so that they are successful in the Court of Allāh ta‘ālā. Despite their lives being full of virtue, they would worry and pray for death in the state of īmān and Islām. 

Allāh ta‘ālā quotes the du‘ā of Yūsuf ‘alayhis salām in the Glorious Qur’ān:

…O Creator of the heavens and the Earth, You are my guardian in this world and the Hereafter. Make me die a Muslim and make me join the righteous. (12:102)

This is because a single word of disbelief at the time of death can erase the benefits of a lifetime of virtue and obedience. On the other hand, a person may live a life of sin and vice, and then be granted the blessing of īmān in the final moments of his life, thereby securing the success of both this world and the Hereafter. Through His infinite Grace and Mercy, Allāhta‘ālā inspired me with six points, which will secure Husn Al-Khātimah and a good death for ourselves, which in turn will result in a good outcome in the Hereafter, Inshā’allāh.

1. Adopt Taqwā (fear of Allāh ta‘ālā). Taqwā holds the power to repel all the forces which weaken one’s īmān and at times snatch it away. This can be understood from the verses wherein Allāh commands the believers to adopt Taqwā. We understand from them that once a person becomes a believer, the method of safeguarding that belief is adopting Taqwā. And Taqwā simply means to create a barrier between disobedience to Allāh and ourselves. Another name for this Taqwā is Istiqāmah (steadfastness), because when a person, after accepting īmān, remains steadfast upon the Commands of Allāh, he will not disobey Him. Allāh ta‘ālā mentions:

Surely, those who have declared: ‘Our Lord is Allāh’, then remained steadfast, on them the angels will descend, saying, ‘Do not fear, and do not grieve; and be happy with the good news of Jannah (Paradise) that you had been promised. We have been your friends in the worldly life, and (will remain as such) in the Hereafter. And for you here is whatever your souls desire, and for you here is whatever you call for.’ (41:30)

So when one accepts īmān by saying, “My Lord is Allāh”, and thereafter safeguards this īmān by remaining steadfast in carrying out the Commands of Allāh and staying away from every disobedience, then Allāh will reward him with a good death, as is indicated in the verse above, that the angels will descend with special mercy at the time of his death. The commentators of the Qur’ān have mentioned that the angels of mercy are always with those who are steadfast on Dīn; however, the special indication given in this verse is that at the time of their death, the angels become visible to them, who give them the glad tidings of Jannah from their Lord.

2. Love the pious and spend time in their company. The pious people are the people of Taqwā. The effect of loving them will create in one the desire to spend time in their company, and in doing so the effect of their taqwā will rub onto one’s self. Allāh ta‘ālāmentions: 

O you who believe, adopt taqwā, and be in the company of the truthful. (9:119)

We need to firstly accept īmān, which alhamdulillāh we all do, and thereafter safeguard our īmān by adopting Taqwā, which can be acquired by staying in the company of those who already have it. The term ‘The Truthful’ used here is another name for those who have Taqwā, as mentioned in another place in the Qur’ān:

…Those are the ones who are truthful, and those are the God-fearing. (2:177)

Similarly the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam states in a hadīth:

On the Day of Judgement, a person will be with whom he loved. (At-Tirmidhī)

If a person entertains love for the pious, he will be with them in the Hereafter, and the pious people will be granted entry into Jannah, for which īmān is a prerequisite. Thus, we can deduce that such a person will die in the state of īmān.

3. Giving in charity. Spending in the path of Allāh ta‘ālā cools the Anger of Allāh. If Allāhta‘ālā is angry with a person, what chance is there for him to have a good death? Therefore, charity paves the way for one to die in the state of īmān, as indicated by the Prophetsallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam: 

Sadaqah (charity) extinguishes the anger of the Lord and prevents an unpleasant death. (At-Tirmidhī)

An unpleasant death could either mean death without īmān or death in an undesirable state, i.e. as a victim of a tsunami, hurricane, or earthquake. Inshā’allāh, a person will be saved from both types of death.

4. Carrying out acts upon which the intercession of the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallamis guaranteed. In various narrations, the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam has encouraged carrying out certain good acts, the virtue of which is that the intercession of the Prophetsallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam will become incumbent for the doer. One should inquire about and learn such acts from reliable, authentic sources and act upon them. The intercession of the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam is of two types. The first being that on the Day of Judgement, when every human will be gathered in the Plain of Resurrection, every soul will be in a state of extreme worry and fear regarding its fate in the court of Allāh ta‘ālā. At this tense moment, the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam will intercede on behalf of the whole humankind and request Allāh ta‘ālā to begin the reckoning. The reckoning will thus begin, and this is known as the ‘general intercession’. Thereafter, once the process of reckoning begins, the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam will specifically intercede on behalf of many individuals of his ummah, with the permission of Allāh. Only a person who dies in the state of īmān will be worthy of receiving this ‘special intercession’ of the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam. The glad tidings of intercession upon various good actions is this ‘special intercession’ which is exclusively for people with īmān. It can be therefore understood that those carrying out these good acts will die with īmān, as only they will be worthy of this ‘special intercession’. One example of such an act is reciting the du‘ā after the adhān.

5. Repeatedly thank Allāh ta‘ālā for the great bounty of īmān, for Allāh ta‘ālā promises: 

If you express gratitude, I shall certainly give you more. (14:7) 

It should be kept in mind that gratitude should be expressed in 3 ways:

  • By acknowledging and contemplating over this great bounty in one’s heart and mind that Allāh has granted this to me through His Grace only without my deserving it.
  •  By verbally expressing one’s gratitude.
  • By fulfilling the Commands of Allāh in regards to this bounty.

If we acknowledge the bounty of īmān with our heart and mind, express praise for Allāh verbally and carry out the demands of this ni‘mah (blessing), i.e. adopt Taqwā, then Allāh will increase this ni‘mah of ours inshā’allāh.

6. Make du‘ā for a good death and for a pleasant abode in the Hereafter. You may do this in your own words or by using supplications from the Qur’ān and ahādīth, for example: 

O Allāh, forgive our living and our dead, those present from among us and those absent, our young and our old, our males and our females, O Allāh whoever you keep alive from among us, keep him alive on Islām, and whoever you give death to, give him death upon īmān. (Ahmad)

Allāh ta‘ālā mentions the supplication of the knowledgeable people: “Our Lord, do not let our hearts deviate from the right path after You have given us guidance, and bestow upon us mercy from your own.” (2:8)

If we strive to do the above and ask Allāh ta‘ālā sincerely, then inshā’allāh, He will grant us this great bounty of death in the state of īmān.

May Allāh ta‘ālā grant us the true understanding of the reality of the Hereafter and grant us the tawfīq to adequately prepare for it. Āmīn.

© Riyādul Jannah (Vol. 21 No. 2, Feb 2012)

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Ramadhan

They think it’s all over!

vanda-teixeira-632984-unsplash.jpgAs Ramadhan draws to an end, in these last ten days we will see Masajid all over the UK complete their Qur’an in Taraweeh. 1000s of Qur’an will be completed all over the UK. Aside from that, most of us who do our personal reading will also complete our tilawah in our homes, along with our womenfolk and children! It’s the 23rd night tonight and a thought came to my mind.  Where I come from we have forty Masajid (Blackburn), Alhumdu Lillah – 40 in such a small town. Many Masajid have 2 or even 3 Taraweeh! It can safely be said, in this ONE town over *100 Quran* will be completed in Taraweeh! Not forgetting those who lead Taraweeh in their homes – Subhan Allah!
Brothers and Sisters, this is all from the sheer mercy of Allah SWT. Without His help, nothing, and I mean NOTHING is possible. What provoked me to share this message was a lecture delivered by our guest from South Africa, Mufti Abdul Kader Hoosen saheb. He is currently in Jaame Masjid delivering talks daily. He gave a Khutbah last Friday in Masjid Sajedeen and mentioned he had been to South America recently. He pointed out that what we have in Blackburn ALONE is not available in certain countries, especially those in South America. Some don’t have a *single* masjid, only 3 Musalla in one of those countries. They don’t have many Ulama or Hafidh. A recent count in Blackburn totalled almost 300 Ulama – Allah make them like the companions of Badr which were also just over 300. We must have double that number of Hafidh, in Blackburn.
But let us not be complacent – the tables can turn. There are countries which had far, far more than us… but there today, Muslims remain just by name- Allah protect us.
To conclude, let us keep our spirits up after Ramadhan and for the rest of our lives, in sha Allah. Preserve the future generations to come. And pray for a good leader in the UK.
(Dua for a fair and just leader)
اللهم لا تسلط علينا من لا يخافك فينا
ولا يرحمنا
Allahumma laa tusallit alaynaa mal laa ya khaafuka feenaa walaa yarhamunaa
O Allah! Do not give authority (to a leader) over us who doesn’t fear you and who doesn’t have mercy upon us.
These nights are the best nights of the year and there are moments of acceptance hidden in them; don’t miss out!
Ismail Satia,
Blackburn
23rd Ramadhan.
Categories
Shaykh Saleem Dhorat

Love & Reverence for Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam

By Hadrat Mawlānā Muhammad Saleem Dhorat hafizahullāh

Whenever the blessed name of our beloved Nabī sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam is mentioned, the one who is fortunate to utter this name and also the one who is fortunate to hear his name should, with utmost love and reverence, say, ‘sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam’. Nowadays, there is great negligence amongst youth in this regard. Some years ago, with the now older generation, we would see such great love and enthusiasm in reciting salāh ‘alan nabi (durūd); whenever the following verse would be recited in the khutbah, everyone would read some formula of salāh ‘alan nabi:

Truly, Allāh and His angels send salutations upon the prophet; o you who believe, send salutations and abundant greetings upon him (too). (33:56)

This verse contains a command from Allāh ta‘ālā to send salāh ‘alan nabi as this is an action performed by both Allāh ta‘ālā and His angels. However, for the youth nowadays this verse doesn’t bring any response. When it is recited we do not see anyone reading salāh ‘alan nabi audibly or even silently.

The ‘Ulamā have deduced from this verse that it is fard (compulsory) to send salutations and greetings upon the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam at least once in a lifetime. Thereafter, whenever one participates in any gathering, be it dars on the Qur’ān or Hadīth, a lecture or even an informal gathering, then the first time the blessed name of the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam is mentioned it is wājib (obligatory) to read salāh ‘alan nabi; thereafter, every time, in the same gathering, whenever the blessed name is mentioned it is mustahab (desirable) to read salāh ‘alan nabi each time.

Remember, love and reverence for the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam dictates that even if the sharī‘ah had not stipulated that salāh ‘alan nabi be read when his blessed name is mentioned, we would still send salutations and greetings upon him in abundance.

So, whenever we hear the verse above read in a khutbah we should read salāh ‘alan nabi. There are many formulae for salāh ‘alan nabi. The most virtuous is the formula that we read in salāh. The shortest formula is ‘sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam’. This is the formula commonly used by the Muhaddithīn and is probably the most frequently recited form.

Our love for the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam should be such that we should not think of it to be a burden; rather, we should be eager to read it whenever we can. If, during a lecture, the scholar is explaining a point and happens not to mention the name of the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam for some time, we should feel that something is missing and eagerly await when the blessed name is mentioned so that we can say salāh ‘alan nabi.

Love and reverence for the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam also dictates that we do not shorten his name when writing it. Many, instead of writing ‘Muhammad’ in full, suffice with writing ‘Mohd’. We write an article or letter of many pages and the only word that we find that we can shorten is the blessed name of the beloved of Allāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam! Similarly, many do not write, for example, ‘sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam’, sufficing with ‘s.a.w’. Again, in the whole letter, article, etc. are these the only words that we can find to shorten? There is a similar trend in the Urdu language where the letters ‘Sād’ or ‘Sād, Lām, ‘Ayn and Mīm’ are used to represent ‘sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam’. Ponder for a while that who is planting these thoughts in your mind about shortening the name and salutation for our beloved Prophetsallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam. What does this show regarding our love and reverence for our beloved Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam?

I remember when I was a student in Dārul ‘Ulūm, the way we were taught by our elders and the culture in the madrāsah was such that as the blessed name of the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam was mentioned again and again, it was very difficult to take down all the notes from the lectures and also write the name of the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam with salutations. Therefore, in our notes, wherever we had to write the blessed name of the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam and salutations, we would leave out a blank space and after class, in our own time, with our best handwriting we would write the salutations in our note books.

I would also like to bring an important point to the attention of many lecturers, who speak with the most eloquent language and accents, yet, when it comes to salāh ‘alan nabi they quickly mumble the words, void of love and reverence. Is this the level of our love and reverence for our Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam? 

In reading salāh ‘alan nabi there is nothing but benefit for us:

1. Allāh ta‘ālā sends ten mercies upon a person who recites salāh ‘alan nabi once.

2. Ten sins are forgiven.

3. The person’s rank is raised by ten degrees.

4. Ten rewards are written for him.

5. There is acceptance of du‘ā where salāh ‘alan nabi is recited at the beginning and at the end.

6. The person will be blessed with the intercession of Rasūlullāh sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam.

7. Allāh will forgive his sins.

8. Allāh is pleased with him.

9. The person will be nearer to the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam on the Day of Judgement.

10. The person will have all his worries removed in this world and the Hereafter.

The great luminary in the field of tazkiyah and ihsān, Shaykh-ul-Hadīth, Hadrat Mawlānā Muhammad Zakariyyā rahimahullāh would often receive letters regarding different problems and he would reply with appropriate answers. However, one point he would emphasise on in every reply was to be punctual in the recitation of salāh ‘alan nabi.

“There is a solution to every problem in sending salutations upon Muhammad sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam.”

Finally, the great shaykh, Shaykh Rashīd Ahmad Gangohī rahimahullāh would instruct that salāh ‘alan nabi be read a minimum of 300 times daily by every Muslim. In the beginning, we could read the shortest formula of salāh ‘alan nabi mentioned above. After that we should try to recite salāh ‘alan nabi with the most virtuous salāh ‘alan nabi mixed in after every 10-15 of the shortest formula. This figure of 300 should be increased on the day of Friday, as the day of Friday has a special affinity with the Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam.

May Allāh ta‘ālā enable us to read salāh ‘alan nabi in abundance and have true love and reverence for our beloved Prophet sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam.

© Riyādul Jannah (Vol. 19 No. 9/10, Sep/Oct 2010)

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Shaykh Saleem Dhorat

How to Benefit from Ramadān

By Hadrat Mawlānā Muhammad Saleem Dhorat hafizahullāh

 In order to fully benefit from this blessed month, the following is recommended:

1. Reading from Fadā’il-e-A‘māl of Shaykh-ul-Hadīth, Mawlānā Muhammad Zakariyyā rahimahullāh. We should sit down as a family at a set time, and read and listen to a portion daily. We should study this book before and during Ramadān.

2. Abstain from every disobedience to Allāh ta‘ālā. Safeguard your eyes, ears, tongue and even the mind. As many sins take place as a result of interacting with people we should minimize this.

3. Prepare a timetable and keep yourself occupied at all times. Stay away from every action and speech which has no benefit in this world or the Hereafter.

4. Make an assessment of all the deeds you have carried out daily. Ask yourself two questions:

a) Have I carried out any deed which will attract the Mercy of Allāh ta‘ālā?

b) Have I committed any sin which will deprive me of the Mercy of Allāh ta‘ālā?

5. Spend as much time as possible in reciting the Qur’ān. The Huffāz should set a target of reciting the whole Qur’ān 10 times, and the non-Huffāz at least 5 times.

6. Read salāh ‘alan Nabī sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam, the kalimah tayyibah, the third kalimah, istighfār, etc. in abundance.

7. Engage in du‘ā, asking Allāh ta‘ālā for all the needs of this world and the Hereafter, after the performance of good deeds, before iftār and at the time of Tahajjud.

8. Read in abundance:

    

     Lā ilāha illallāh, astaghfirullāh, as’alukal jannah, wa a’ūdhubika minannār.

     There is no diety except Allāh, I seek forgiveness from Allāh, I ask from You (O Allāh) Jannah, and I seek Your refuge from the fire.  

9. Spend in the Path of Allāh ta‘ālā during the days and nights of Ramadān. Allocate a budget and spend accordingly.

10. Spend the last 10 days in i‘tikāf, for these 10 days are the very cream of Ramadān. Every year Laylat-ul-Qadr (The Night of Power) rotates in these 10 nights.

© Riyādul Jannah 

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Muslim women

Nursery or Adversary?

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamu Alaykum wR wB,

If we survey the Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ, a similar understanding is found. The qualities of devotion to Allah and their families were at the centre of the praiseworthy qualities of women. For example, the Prophet clarifies the Islamic view regarding the best women and the central reason behind it saying, “The best women from the riders of the camels (the best Arab women) are the righteous among the women of Quraish. They are the kindest women to their children in childhood and the most careful of women in regards to the property of their husbands.” (Bukhari/Muslim) In this hadith the Prophet explains their goodness by being good wives and good mothers.

In another statement the Prophet ﷺ explains that one of the main aims of marriage is to produce and nurture children who follow the Sunnah of the Prophet (peace be upon him) in worshiping Allah and glorifying him. The companion Ma’qil ibn Yasaar narrated that a man came to the messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and said: “O Messenger of Allah, I have found a woman who is from a good family and is pretty, but she does not bear children – should I marry her?” He told him not to. Then he came to him a second time and said something similar and he told him not to marry her. Then he came to him a third time and said something similar and he (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Marry the one who is loving and fertile, for I will be proud of your great numbers before the nations on the Day of Resurrection.” (Abu Dawud/Nasa’i)

Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeem Abaadi said in his commentary of this hadith, ‘Marry the one who is loving means the one who loves her husband; and the one who is fertile is the one who bears a lot of children.” {Awnul Mabud 6/33}

abcOh boy… I am going to do it again. I am opening the can of worms. Lighting a match in a dry forest. Shouting fire in a crowded theatre. Opening the floodgates. I am going to talk about something that will cause another round of Facebook unfriending, painful insults, and lots of people disagreeing with me. But as a man, a Muslim, and a chronically outspoken human being, I have to speak up. I have a platform – and I must use it. It is my moral responsibility to utilise my platform to speak up for those without such a public voice. I want to talk about… **takes deep breath**… ‘Working Mothers and their Responsibilities.’

“Most children are corrupted (and led to failure) because of their parents.” Ibn Qayyim RH, Tuhfatul Maudud bi-Ahkamil Maulud (p. 80)

By this point, some of you (especially those who know me “well”) will be thinking, “Oh God! What on earth is he going to say?” And others (who also know me, personally) will be thinking, “How can he talk about that issue? He doesn’t have kids!” Yes, what gives me the audacity to speak about such a topic, when I don’t have children? I actually thought about the same thing a few days ago, before writing this piece. I don’t know how long this article is going to be, simply because the whole thing has been going around my head for a long time. I wouldn’t be lying if I said a decade!

Just because I don’t have children, that doesn’t mean I don’t know anything ‘about’ children. I have taught children in a Primary School, and in a Madrasah setting for many years. And still offer tuition for teenagers in various subjects, as well as teaching Muslim youngsters Tafsir and Seerah. Which (hopefully) justifies my position, in writing this article. As I have understood and realised some of the causes and grounds why our youth are spiralling downwards.

You see I always wanted someone else to write it, I shall be totally honest. In particular – a female. And before writing it I scanned the web to see how much has already been written on the topic, especially by Muslims. I found a LOT of articles supporting the idea of working mothers, very few against it. I have a large extensive library (Alhumdu Lillah), I buy books on everything; things which are relevant and irrelevant, stuff that I need and don’t need (may need in future). So I searched how many books I had if any on ‘tarbiyyah/upbringing children, good mothers’ etc. I had a few on ‘tarbiyyah’, which contained sections on working mums, and others just generally in the early years with a child. But nothing extensive on working mothers, does it really work, the pros and cons.

This article below was written the day I started writing this blog believe it or not:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-30342/Working-mothers-risk-damaging-childs-prospects.html

*A sign from Allah, perhaps?*

Silhouette of depressive man

Like I said, I wanted to write this piece many moons ago. But what recently triggered me to put pen to paper is the statistic below:

“25% of Women in the UK suffer from depression.” (NHS Stats)

Mental health problems affect both men and women, but not in equal measure.

“In England, women are more likely than men to have a common mental health problem.”

McManus, S., Meltzer, H., Brugha, T., Bebbington, P., & Jenkins, R. (eds) (2009). Adult Psychiatric Morbidity in England 2007: results of a household survey. NHS Information Centre for Health and Social Care. [online] Available at: http://www.hscic.gov.uk/catalogue/PUB02931/adul-psyc-morb-res-housur-eng-2007-rep.pdf [Accessed 25 August 2015].

“And are almost twice as likely to be diagnosed with anxiety disorders.”

Martin-Merino, E., Ruigomez, A., Wallander, M., Johansson, S. and GarciaRodriguez, L. (2009). Prevalence, incidence, morbidity and treatment patterns in a cohort of patients diagnosed with anxiety in UK primary care. Family Practice, 27(1), pp.9-16.

“10% of mothers and 6% of fathers in the UK have mental health problems at any given time.”

Parker, G., et al. (2008). Technical Report for SCIE Research Review on the Prevalence and Incidence of Parental Mental Health Problems and the Detection, Screening and Reporting of Parental Mental Health Problems. [online] York: Social Policy Research Unit, University of York. Available at: http://www.york.ac.uk/inst/spru/research/pdf/SCIEReview1.pdf [Accessed 14 Sep. 2015].

When I tried to read further, I also came across this:

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2013/jun/19/anxiety-depression-office-national-statistics

Nearly a fifth of adults in the UK experience anxiety or depression, according to the latest official figures.

The Office for National Statistics (ONS) said a higher proportion of women than men reported that they suffered from the conditions, with the highest indication of anxiety or depression occurring in the 50-54 age group.

There was evidence of anxiety or depression in 19% of people aged 16 or over, with 21% of women reporting the symptoms and 16% of men.

Also, see below: http://www.prisonreformtrust.org.uk/projectsresearch/mentalhealth

10% of men and 30% of women have had a previous psychiatric admission before they entered prison. A more recent study found that 25% of women and 15% of men in prison reported symptoms indicative of psychosis. The rate among the general public is about 4%.

26% of women and 16% of men said they had received treatment for a mental health problem in the year before custody.

And finally, more about depression: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-23553897

My point from all of the above is to give the readers the gist of what percentage of people in the UK suffer from anxiety, depression and stress. And more importantly what proportion are men and women.

So the million dollar question is “WHY?” In such a developed country, or in the West in general, why do we see more people suffering from depression in particularly women? Well, as this article is being written to ‘help’ women I will add the site below for reference:

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/depression-in-women/index.shtml

Depression is not “one size fits all,” particularly when it comes to the genders. Not only are women more prone to depression than men, but the causes of female depression and even the pattern of symptoms are often different. Many factors contribute to the unique picture of depression in women—from reproductive hormones to social pressures to the female response to stress. Learning about these factors can help you minimize your risk of depression and treat it more effectively.

Figures for the lifetime prevalence of depression vary according to the criteria used to define depression. Using DSM-IV’s criteria for ‘major depressive disorder’ which are similar to the ICD-10 criteria for ‘moderate depression’, the lifetime prevalence of depression is about 15 percent and the point prevalence about 5 percent. This means that an average person has about a one in seven (15 percent) chance of developing depression in the course of his or her lifetime, and about a 1 in 20 (5 percent) chance of suffering from it at this very point in time.

However, these figures mask a very uneven gender distribution as depression is about twice as common in women than in men. The reasons for this uneven gender distribution are not entirely clear but are thought to be partly biological, partly psychological, and partly sociocultural.

Biological explanations Compared to men, women may have a stronger genetic predisposition to developing depression. Compared to men, women are much more subjected to fluctuating hormone levels. This is especially the case around the time of childbirth and at the menopause, both of which are associated with an increased risk of developing depression.

Psychological explanations Women are more ruminative than men, that is, they tend to think about things more—which, though a very good thing, may also predispose them to develop depression. In contrast, men are more likely to react to difficult times with stoicicism, anger, or substance misuse. Women are generally more invested in relationships than men. Relationship problems are likely to affect them more, and so they are more likely to develop depression.

Sociocultural explanations Women come under more stress than men. Not only do they have to go work just like men, but they may also be expected to bear the brunt of maintaining a home, bringing up children, caring for older relatives, and putting up with all the sexism!   Women live longer than men. Extreme old age is often associated with bereavement, loneliness, poor physical health, and precarity—and so with depression. Women are more likely to seek out a diagnosis of depression. They are more likely to consult a physician and more likely to discuss their feelings with the physician. Conversely, physicians (whether male or female) may be more likely to make a diagnosis of depression in a woman. Perhaps you can think of some other reasons why depression is twice as common in women than in men, in which case please do let me know!

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hide-and-seek/201205/the-7-reasons-why-depression-is-more-common-in-women

1280x240-Homeworking-Hub-Image-1280x240Some of you at this point are thinking, what does all this has to do with the title and Mothers working. The aim of this article is to help women, not have a go at them, nor give them a blasting. It is to help them understand what they really need to do and what they should be doing. Where their priorities lie. I am not in a position to say this, but I don’t think most women understand. As humans, men and women, we are like sheep and just follow the trend. And women, in particular, are suffering from stress and depression because society demands too much from them I believe. Where they should have been placed and what their primary roles were, has been lost and disillusioned.

When you sit down to reflect on what your vision is for your life, how do you know that the vision you’ve chosen is, in fact, the right one? Is it by the level of happiness you are convinced that your vision is achieved, would give you? Or is it the fame and attention you know you’ll attain if you fulfilled it? It would be a shame if you spent years going up the ladder of life, only to find that the ladder was leaning against the wrong wall. Imagine if after all the effort you had exerted you found yourself on the Day of Judgment wishing you’d spent all that time and energy pursuing a different vision on Earth, one that would have given you a higher status in the hereafter which, after all, will last forever. On the Day of Judgment, things will become very clear to us in the starkest of ways. We will see reality as it truly is and realize how short was the opportunity that we had on Earth as the following hadith clearly illustrates:

Anas ibn Malik narrates that the messenger of Allah ﷺ  said, “The most affluent of the people in this world, of those who will go to Hell, will be brought on the Day of Resurrection and dipped once in the Fire. Then it will be said: O son of Adam, did you ever see anything good? Did you ever have any pleasure? He will say: No, by Allah, O Lord. Then the most destitute of the people in this world, of those who will enter Paradise, will be brought and dipped once in Paradise, and it will be said to him: O son of Adam, did you ever see anything bad? Did you ever experience any hardship? He will say: No, by Allah, O Lord. I never saw anything bad and I never experienced any hardship.” (Sahih Muslim)

Let us look at marriage…

In comparison to other countries, couples in the UK are rather old when they decide to get married. The average age that men in the UK get married is 30.8 and the average age to get married for women is 28.9 years.

Yes, besides the fact that a lot fewer people are getting married than for instance 30 years ago, the age at which people are marrying has increased quite a bit. The average age for getting married 30 years ago was about 24 years (about 23 years for women and about 25 years for men). That’s about 6 years earlier than the current average age.

The average age that people get married is dependent on a couple of factors, such as religion, culture and the level of development of the country where they live. In countries such as India and Pakistan, it is common that the parents of the bride and groom arrange the wedding. Therefore the average age of getting married in these countries is only 17 years old. In Scandinavian countries, it is more common to get married at a later age. In Denmark the average age people get married is almost 31 years old. Also in Sweden, Finland and Norway, the average age to get married is well above 30 years old.

So we can see that in Europe and the West, people tend to get married later. This again is due to the pressure from social norms and culture. E.g. getting a degree, building a career, having a job etc. All of which there is no harm in doing. But women need to understand, Islam does allow you to seek knowledge and education. Islam does allow you to work and earn for yourself. But the greatest virtue for a woman in Islam is being a good mother and a pious wife. Already, some of you will think I am backward or old-fashioned, not with the times and not up to date. False. There is no need for us to be sheep and follow society. If we really and truly follow Islam, then let us see what Allah says in the Qur’an and Hadith about women and their roles. Every woman praised in the Qur’an, namely Asiyah (Radhi Allahu Anha) – the wife of Pharoah and Maryam (Radhi Allahu Anha) the mother of Eesa (Alayhis Salam) were praised for being good wives and mothers.

“And Allah has set forth an example for those who believe, the wife of Pharaoh when she said: “My Lord! Build for me a home with You in Paradise, and save me from Pharaoh and his work, and save me from the people who are oppressors. And Maryam (Mary), the daughter of ‘Imran who guarded her chastity; and We breathed into her through Our spirit (Gabriel), and she testified to the truth of the words of her Lord and His Scriptures, and she was of the obedient.” [66:11-12]

The Prophet’s Companion Abu Musa Al-Ash’ari narrates that the Prophet (peace be upon him) described the status of these two women by saying, “Many amongst men attained perfection but amongst women, none attained perfection except Maryam (Mary), the daughter of ‘Imran, and Asiya, the wife of Pharaoh. And the superiority of Aishah to other women is like the superiority of tharid (a dish) to other meals.” (Bukhari)

People also talk a LOT about Khadijah (Radhi Allahu Anha), and how she was a businesswoman. No doubt about it! She was one of the richest women in Makkah. But, after marriage, she handed the business to the Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam). She (Radhi Allahu Anha) then had six children with the Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam). When the Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) would meditate in the Cave of Hira, Khadijah (Radhi Allahu Anha) would walk from Makkah to Jabal Alnoor (Mount of Noor), then climb up to the Cave of Hira, twice a day to deliver the Prophet’s  (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) food. Let us look at both sides of the coin, not just the fact she was a businesswoman. She was a mother to the children of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam), and what a great mother she was. Also, she was an amazing support to the Prophet  (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam).working-from-home-jobs

Being a mother is not an easy task, right from the moment of pregnancy, till labour, till breastfeeding, then the early years. I will try to outline some of the most important duties of mothers and how much neglect we see in the Ummah today. It is not as easy as sending our children to nurseries for someone else, strangers, to nurture our children. Babies need their mothers. There are many things women need to consider before they just dump, yes ‘dump’ children. It may not be neglect in the eyes of the law, but certainly is in my eyes and possibly in the eyes of Allah SWT.

Narrated ‘Abdullah bin ‘Umar: The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) as saying: “Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The amir (ruler) who is over the people is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock; a man is a shepherd in charge of the inhabitants of his household and he is responsible for his flock; a woman is a shepherdess in charge of her husband’s house and children and she is responsible for them; and a man’s slave is a shepherd in charge of his master’s property and he is responsible for it. So each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock.” (Abu Dawud)

 

A contented, confident and well-adjusted child does not come about by accident but is the result of hard work mainly on the part of the parents. It is not enough to send our children to nursery and expect teachers to do our job for us. Primary education comes from the home environment and the first best teachers, are parents themselves. As Muslim parents in a non-Muslim society, we have to work hard to ensure that Islam is the focus of our parenting efforts.

The pre-school years are the most important and rapid of development, so this is the golden opportunity for us to nurture our children and help them on the path to becoming good Muslims of the future. It is a grave mistake to think that children are too young to learn or understand their surroundings. In fact, the opposite is true; the younger the child, the faster they can absorb information. A lack of varied stimuli and unsettled emotional surroundings are major factors in disruptive behaviour. We all want the best for our children, but often either do not know where to start or cannot find the time to implement our intentions. Remember, as parents, you will play a central role throughout your child’s life, but more especially during the formative years when there are fewer external influences.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-business/10214544/The-five-pros-and-cons-of-being-a-working-mother.html

Cons of being a working mother:

  1. Tiredness. There are no words to describe what it is like doing a 10-hour working day with a long commute when you’ve been up half the night with a teething toddler or a hungry baby
  2. When you can hear your child still crying and shouting ‘mama’ as you’re halfway out of the driveway
  3. Missing out – first words, first steps, playdates and classes
  4. Rushing home from work ‘early’ to put toddler girl to bed only to find she fell asleep 10 minutes before you got home
  5. Managing the expectations of colleagues who just don’t get it

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/jan/01/mothers-work-children-school-survey

Siobhan Freegard, the co-founder of Netmums, said the needs of young teenagers often takes parents by surprise: “The truth is that the older your children get, the more they need you emotionally. Once they get to secondary school, they also need a great deal of help to organise all the homework and other academic demands they’re suddenly faced with.”

Those surveyed admitted feeling uncomfortable with their choice to give up work with 60% saying they feel embarrassed by the expectation that parents will work more, not less, when their child reaches school-age. Almost 40% said they are made to feel they are “setting a poor example to their child” by not working. Just 20% said they felt their choice meant they were seen as a better parent.

Freegard said: “Mothers – and it usually is mothers – have been trying and failing to talk about this issue for ages. It’s a hidden topic.”

MUST READ: https://www.tes.com/news/school-news/breaking-views/i-have-marked-my-daughter-crying-my-feet-because-there-are-deadlines 

In the United States today, more than half of mothers with young children work, compared to about one third in the 1970s. Working mothers are now the rule rather than the exception. Women have been moving into the workforce not only for career satisfaction but also because they and their families need the income.

Even when there are no problems, however, a two-career family has to deal with issues that do not come up in other families. Parents may feel so divided between family and career that they have little time for a social life or each other. Both parents need to share household and childcare responsibilities so that one will not end up doing most of the work and feeling resentful. Parents will lose an average of about ten work days per year due to the need to tend to a sick child, to care for their child when child care arrangements have broken down, or to take their child to necessary appointments.

So mothers really need to think twice before they resume work after having a child. We often hear the word “necessity” used. ‘I need to work’. Necessity is an abused term, we need to look carefully at what is a necessity. Wanting a luxurious lifestyle isn’t; fabulous car, large extended house, expensive getaways every year. If that is what you want, then sacrifice the welfare of your children for the above – harsh, but true. Your children don’t need holidays nor expensive presents. We look around today, parents have given their children every gadget, toy, doll, bike and game they can imagine having. But, have they given their children sufficient love and care and attention. Nobody said bringing up children was an easy task, nobody said women cannot work *full stop*. But it is different once you have children, you need to understand where your priorities lie, it is with your children. Don’t follow society, don’t follow the women in the magazine, because you deserve better and so do your children. This is a sincere plea from a brother of yours.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/07/07/the-chart-that-shows-how-feminism-is-ruining-womens-lives/

In conclusion, I say that the best role, the most honourable and worthy role for a woman is striving to be a fine wife, a good mother, or both. This role does not only secure the best for a woman in the hereafter but also fits perfectly with her natural disposition. In her study published by Centre for Policy Studies in 2009, Cristina Odone, former deputy editor of The New Statesman (1998-2004) concluded that “far from being committed to a career, the overwhelming majority of women would prefer to opt out of it. Instead of finding satisfaction in full-time work, most women realise themselves in their other roles as carers, partners, community members, and above all mothers”. Furthermore, McIntosh and Bauer concluded that working women are “often felt overwhelmed and unable to keep up with their job and family responsibilities”. They added that “the working mother felt she had two full-time jobs.”  {A thesis presented in partial fulfilment of the requirements for an MEd in the graduate school of Marietta College titled, “Working Mothers Vs Stay At Home Mothers: The Impact on Children.}

I ask our sisters in Islam to embrace their true role in society and reap the huge rewards that Allah has in store for them for fulfilling this role. I ask our brothers to support them in fulfilling this role. When we define a vision for our lives, we are seeking to make a contribution and leave a legacy. Your legacy, sisters is that if you take on the role that Allah has ordained for you, then you will positively affect the future of the Muslim ummah and ultimately the future of the world. That is a legacy beyond measure.

http://uswatulmuslimah.co.za/womens-issues/qaa/748-can-women-work.html

Please see Fatwa above

NB: I am not a sexist or a chauvinist. These are my sincere views for many sisters who seemed to have lost direction and guidance. If there is anything against Islam in this article which is explicit in Qur’an and Hadith, please state the evidence below. I shall happily retract my opinions. I understand many will disagree and disregard this article.

Allah knows best, to Him we turn and seek the truth.

Ismail Ibn Nazir Satia (One who is in dire need of Allah’s Forgiveness, Mercy and Pleasure)

16 Jamadul Akhar 1436