Category: Muslim women

Muslim Women: Achievements and Virtues

Post author By Ismail ibn Nazir Satia
Post date 3 January 2016
No Comments on Muslim Women: Achievements and Virtues

By Mufti Abdur-Rahman ibn Yusuf

http://www.zamzamacademy.com/2014/12/muslim-women-achievements-and-virtues/

Muslim_Woman_in_black

How does a woman fulfill her relationship with Allah Most High, and at the same time, also serve the community?

There are many extremes in this. For example, some people believe that women should not be educated at all; that they should be kept completely ignorant so that they don’t know anything beyond the basics of their faith. This is completely rejected by our deen. Mawlana Ashraf Ali Thanawi, for example, compiled the famous work Bahishti Zewar and aimed it particularly toward women. The comprehensiveness of the book suggests it is a work that ought to live on the bookshelf of every home and used as a guidance for every aspect of a woman’s (and indeed her family’s) life. Indeed, such is the usefulness of the book that it is not uncommon to find muftis using Bahishti Zewar as a reference point nowadays.

There is the other extreme, too. There are women who discover some Islamic knowledge by way of their own research and suddenly, they believe they are qualified to derive and deliver Islamic rulings. Seeking knowledge is commendable in its own right, as is the desire to follow Islamic rulings. At the same time, one must realise that there is an established and functional system that exists for Muslims to acquire knowledge and rulings. It is when individuals fail to appreciate and engage with this conventional, mainstream system that rogue, isolated and wayward ideas and theories are formulated.

There was a case a few years back where a woman gave the adhan for Friday prayer and another woman led a congregation of men and women. Needless to say, both actions are contrary to the Shar’ia. Of course, in both of these examples the women felt they were doing the right thing. Some would argue these women were bringing Islam into the twenty-first century by introducing gender equality to the mosque. What the women failed to realize is that Islam welcomes individuals looking to revive the faith, but does not require individuals to innovate new practices. After all, Islam has its own code of equality which was established over a thousand years ago independent of any western ideas. Why would Islam suddenly need to be introduced to a modern-day conception of equality?

Here, I would like to mention narrations that show the role of women in education and transmission of knowledge from one generation to another. Undoubtedly, mothers are the first source of information for their children. A look into Islamic history throws up many examples of great scholarly figures like ibn Hajar al-Asqalani, Imam Bukhari and Muslim, and we find that they were brought up in the laps of their mothers. Who knew that young Abu ‘Abdillah Muhammad ibn Isma‘il of Bukhara, later known as Imam Bukhari, would shape the understanding of many Muslim scholars and laymen that came after him? There can be no doubt that the mothers of these monumental scholars made a significant contribution to their success. The famous idiom “Behind every great man is a great woman” could not be more relevant than in the life of Imam Shafi’i, who was brought up by his mother alone, who was a widow. Clearly, many women get closer to Allah Most High than men do because of their devotion and sacrifice for Islam. This is something that our Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) did not overlook; our Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) would frequently consult with his wives.

Umm Salama (may Allah be pleased with her), the Wife of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace)

The first example is a very famous incident about Umm Salama (may Allah be pleased with her) during the Treaty of Hudaybiya. The Companions travelled from Madina to Makka with the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) to perform the umra but were prevented from doing so by the non-Muslim Makkans. The stand-off was overcome when an agreement—the Treaty of Hudaibiya—was signed, permitting the Muslims to perform umra the following year. Because the Muslims had come with a desire to perform umra this year, they were very disappointed and disheartened. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) asked them to shave their heads and sacrifice their accompanying animals, so they could come out of the state of ihram (pilgrim sanctity). However, due to their disappointment, they appeared reluctant to do so. So, the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) went inside his tent with concern and told Umm Salama, his wife, about what was going on. She told him (Allah bless him and give him peace) to go and sacrifice his animal and shave his own head in front of everyone. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) came out from his tent and did exactly what Umm Salama (may Allah be pleased with her) suggested. The advice of Umm Salama (may Allah be pleased with her) proved sound, as the Companions immediately tried to emulate the Prophet’s actions and thus carried out his command.

The Daughter of Abu Bakr, Asma’ (may Allah be pleased with them)

Asma’ bint Abi Bakr was a great Companion from the time she was young. She was the older sister of ‘A’isha and the daughter of Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with them all). When the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) and Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) were migrating to Madinah, Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) took all of his wealth with him. He did not leave much behind for his family. In his home, there were a few family members; his two daughters, his blind father and perhaps one or two other people. Abu Bakr’s father kept complaining and asking about what Abu Bakr had left behind for them. So Asma’ (may Allah be pleased with her) got some pebbles and covered them up with a cloth and then took her grandfather’s hand, letting him feel the pebbles from over the cloth. Thinking they were coins, the grandfather said that Abu Bakr has left a lot for them. From this we can see how Asma’ (may Allah be pleased with her) used her wit to deal with the situation.

The Daughter-In-Law of Umar bin Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him)

When ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) was the caliph, he was patrolling the streets at night. He decided to take a break and was resting in front of a house. From inside the house he heard a mother and a daughter talking. The mother instructed the daughter to add water to the milk they had so that they would have more to sell. The daughter reminded her that the caliph had outlawed this practice. Though the mother retorted that the caliph wasn’t around to witness this rather dubious practice, the daughter asserted that Allah Most High was the Ever Present, the Ever Watchful and refused to do it.

Like any father, ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) wanted pious spouses for his children. The following day, he ascertained that one of his sons, ‘Asim, was looking to get married. ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) proposed a marriage between ‘Asim and the girl and they got married. ‘Asim and his wife had a daughter who was known as Umm ‘Asim, who later on married ‘Abd al-‘Aziz ibn Marwan, the brother of ‘Abd al-Malik ibn Marwan (one of the powerful caliphs of the Umayyad dynasty). This daughter gave birth to the great caliph ‘Umar ibn ‘Abd al-‘Aziz. ‘Umar ibn ‘Abd al-‘Aziz was the one who, in a period of two and a half years, sorted out the situation of the Muslim ummah for a while and dealt with all the injustices that had taken place. So it can be seen how piety, especially in women, filters down to others because they have such a great influence and impact on their children and grandchildren.

Owing to the amount of time a mother and child spend together, a more direct and intimate relationship is established. It could be said that the mother’s characteristics are passed down to her child and therefore there is great responsibility on a mother to be an excellent role model.

The Daughter of Imam Malik

It is said that when Imam Malik, a great Imam of fiqh and hadith, was teaching, there would be pin drop silence despite the very large class size. The respect he had for the prophetic hadiths would also be seen in the people who listened to him; people would sit in awe whilst studying hadith with the Imam. The Imam would listen to his students and whenever a student would make a mistake, there would be a knock on the door near to where Imam Malik would sit to alert them to the mistake. The knock was from his daughter who had memorized her father’s entire hadith collection, the Muwatta’. Sometimes a young man would pass by the gathering and Imam Malik would remark that Allah Most High grants knowledge and tawfiq only to those He wishes. The boy, who was his son, was not interested in studying and when he would pass by, Imam Malik would make this comment. His daughter, on the other hand, was memorizing and learning from a young age. Imam Malik never prohibited her from engaging in the class. After all, she was observing the etiquette of hijab. There has been no prohibition for women studying the religion as long as the rules and regulations of hijab are observed.

The Daughter of ‘Allama Samarqandi

Among the Hanafi scholars of the 4^th and 5^th century, there is a great scholar by the name of ‘Allama Samarqandi, the author of Tuhfat al-Fuqaha’ (The gift to the jurists). Among his students was Badr al-Din al-Kasani who also became a great jurist, may be even greater than his teacher. Among the other students of Allama Samarqandi was his own daughter. She was such a great jurist that many people asked for her hand in marriage but she refused. She said that she would only marry someone who could teach her something new. ‘Allama Kasani wrote a commentary on his teacher’s work called Bada’i’ al-Sana’i’. He presented the work to his teacher and when she read it, she realized and appreciated the knowledge that he possessed and accepted his proposal. Thereafter, all subsequent fatwas issued by this household were jointly signed by the father daughter and son-in-law. This shows that a woman, too, can be a muftiya and jurist. Unfortunately, we do not see enough of this today. The more sacred knowledge that a woman sincerely acquires, the more observant she becomes of her religion and the more she becomes modest in the sight of Allah Most High.

The mother of the last ruler of Granada, Spain

‘A’isha Umm Muhammad was the mother of Muhammad, the last ruler of Granada, Spain. On the day that he had to surrender Granada to the Christians, he began weeping. What his mother said to him on this occasion has been written down in books and recorded in history. She said to her son:

“O person of vile nature, were you not from noble Arab ancestry? I am ashamed that you were born to me. Your senselessness and impotency has ashamed me to even own you. Were a stone born to me instead!Don’t cry today like a woman over what you could not defend like a man.”

Such was his mother. Instead of succumbing to the maternal instinct of consoling her child, she objectively accounted her son. This is a great example of how women, at times, keep their senses in situations where men may become despondent and defeated. This is really important given a woman’s influence within the Muslim community. Nobody is going to deny a woman’s contribution to the Muslim society as long as it is done in the right way. The problem we have today is that people are pursuing liberalism and buying into aspects of extreme feminism. Though some goals of it may be praiseworthy, it is largely misguided.

Motherhood is an extremely cherished concept not only in our faith, but in any human civilization. The problem with some feminists is that motherhood is looked down upon. A woman that chooses to be a housewife or a full-time mother is perceived as less successful than a career woman. A woman being on the board of a big company, meanwhile, is a special thing; it seemingly raises her esteem in the eyes of others and almost gives people a cause for celebration. But a woman raising great sons and daughters, for example, doesn’t really attract the same kind of celebration. Celebration of motherhood is very important. The way to deal with feminism today is to celebrate motherhood as much as possible.

Celebration of Motherhood: the Story of Hajar (Upon Her be Peace)

Hajar (upon her be peace) was left in the desert by her husband Ibrahim (upon him be peace) according to the command of Allah Most High. She had nothing. No food. No extra clothing. No water. Ibrahim (upon him be peace) did not even initially provide her an explanation as to why he was leaving her there in Makka. He just took her there, turned around and started to leave. She managed to ask whether this was according to a command of Allah Most High. When he responded in the affirmative, she told him that Allah Most High will not abandon her. Immediately, her maternal instincts kicked in. Her son became thirsty, and she began to run back and forth searching for water seven times in between the mounts of Safa and Marwa. This act of hers was so significant that, thousands of years on, millions of Muslims still emulate this action of hers as a rite of hajj. Her action of searching for water appeared so simple but Allah Most High made it so significant. It is an achievement of motherhood. It is from this event that we get the blessed water of ZamZam. One could say zamzam is a gift of motherhood. Also, this is probably the only religious rite the world over in the major religions that celebrates a woman’s action.

The Story of Umm Sharik (may Allah be pleased with her)

At the time of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), there was a female Companion by the name of Umm Sharik (may Allah be pleased with her). She embraced Islam early on and was a very active member of the community. Umm Sharik decided to give da’wa to the people of the community. She went to the houses of those who were not Muslim and talked to the women about the new faith of Islam, and they started embracing it. Umm Sharik was very successful, and eventually, her tribe found out what was happening. They wanted to punish her and stop her propagation. Her tribe was travelling somewhere and she was tied up outside a tent in the hot desert without any water or shade for several days. After a few days, she became dehydrated and was completely disoriented, so much so, that she did not know what was happening anymore. One day at noon, when the sun was at its peak and it was really hot, the members of her tribe retired into their tents to take an afternoon nap leaving her alone outside. At this point, she suddenly saw a pot of water coming down from the heaven towards her. She drank from it. It moved away, then it returned and she drank from it again until she was completely satiated and refreshed. Once her tribe woke up and they saw how refreshed she was, they began to wonder what had happened. She told them about the occurrence and how she had received the water, but nobody believed her. They said that she must have taken the water from their supplies somehow while they were asleep. The tribespeople began to check their water supply and found that no water was missing. It was at this point that the truth of her words dawned on them and they all accepted Islam. Her example shows us that if the active people in the community take their obligations seriously, then they can be a source of guidance for their entire community. Likewise, if people are active in wrongdoing, it can filter down to their community and bring about unwanted consequences.

Most problems today exist because of ignorance. There are individuals who are successful in their secular work or career but are not too concerned about their faith. Sometimes, when such people decide to do something for their faith, they may do so with a lot of zeal but it is generally with superficial knowledge of the faith. Their Islamic knowledge is sometimes not even enough to get them through their day-to-day obligations, let alone refute or convince others. Such people then stand up to defend the faith against Islamaphobia and other vile attacks against Islam. Although their intention may be praiseworthy, their defense takes the form of “reforming the faith.” They end up trying to apologetically convince people that Islam shares the same values as the secularists, and suddenly you have women leading Friday prayers, calling the adhan and other such activities that are unsanctioned in the faith. These people feel they are sincere in their faith, and want to do something for it, but often forget they lack the correct knowledge or qualification. So out of their ignorance, they engage in ideas and actions that are contrary and far removed from Islam. Such people think they are helping Islam, when, in fact, they are actually hurting it.

Establishment of the Qarawiyyin University

While the famous Azhar University is commonly known as being the first university to be established back in 361 A.H., there already existed another less famous university called Jami’ al-Qarawiyyin in Fez, Morocco. The Qarawiyyin was founded and built by a woman called Umm al-Banin Fatima bint Mohammed ibn Abdillah al-Fihri. Her father was very wealthy and had taught her well. She was a jurist, and used her inheritance to build Qarawiyyin, a madrasa for students to stay in and learn sacred knowledge. Similarly, Fatima’s sister, Maryam bint Abdillah, founded the Jami’ al-Andalus on the other side of Fez. These women used their wealth for the cause of Islam and did something no man had hitherto accomplished. Similarly, the wife of the caliph Harun al-Rashid had a water canal built, called the Zubayda Canal in Makka, as a water source for the pilgrims to address the difficulty that existed of a reliable water supply. An impressive aqueduct was used to carry the water to the pilgrims and can still be seen today.

These examples show that women, like men, can be activists, savvy problem solvers and visionaries. Unfortunately, there are some people who are suppressed so much that they feel they cannot do anything for their faith, while on the other hand there are those who become prey to the Shaytan, and their misplaced zeal leads them to focus on the absolute wrong things and they end up dividing the community.

The Daughter of Sa‘id ibn al-Musayyab

Sa‘id ibn al-Musayyab was a great tabi’i (an immediate successor to the Companions) also known as the leader of the tabi‘in (sayyid al- tabi‘in). His daughter learned all the hadith that he knew. She was so beautiful and knowledgeable that many people sought her hand in marriage. ‘Abd al-Malik ibn Marwan who became the caliph of the Ummayyads also asked for her hand in marriage but Sa‘id ibn al-Musayyab refused. He had her marry an impoverished student of his. Once after marriage, her husband put on his cloak to leave the house. She asked where he was going and he said to study with her father. She told him to take his cloak of and sit down and she would teach him the knowledge of Sa‘id ibn al-Musayyab. Her husband said about her that she was the most beautiful and the most knowledgeable about the Sunna, and she knew the rights of her husband.

Hadith on the Reward for Women

Women are getting rewarded automatically for doing things that they have to do as part of their human life cycle. They are getting the same reward that men would get for doing things which take a long time to do. They are getting so many rewards in those nine months and beyond. Allah Most High has made both men and women different but at the same time they both can achieve the great stations in the sight of Allah Most High.

Asmaa bint Yazeed (may Allah be pleased with her) came to the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) and said may my father and mother be sacrificed for you O Messenger of Allah. I am a representative of the women to you. God has sent you as a messenger to all the men and women, we have believed in you and your God. Now we women have been confined to the houses, we bear your children, men have been preferred over women in terms of Friday and the other congregational prayers, visiting the sick, attending funerals, doing hajj after hajj, and more than that, jihad in the path of Allah. When you men go out for hajj, umra, or jihad, we look after your property, we weave your clothes, and we bring up your children. Will we not share with you in the reward? [Note here that the women aren’t seeking to do what men do; they recognise their responsibilities but want to know if they will get a share of the reward.] The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) then completely turned around to the companions and said to them, ‘Have you heard any woman asking about her religion better than this?’ They said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, we never thought any woman could have been guided to do this’. Then the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) turned to her and said ‘Understand O woman, tell the other women behind you, that a wife looking after her husband, seeking his contentment and going along with him is equal to all that.’ The woman went back with her face shining with happiness (Usd al-Ghaba1:1313).

A woman looking after all of her husband’s interests, playing the role of the mother and the woman of the house, is getting an equal amount of reward as her husband when he is out earning a living and generally meeting all his obligations. The woman is playing a great role which is important for the progeny to continue and for the family to work as a whole.

Shaykh Akram Nadwi, in his book the Muhaddithat, the female hadith scholars in Islam, has compiled numerous volumes on the lives of the women hadith scholars. In his introduction, he writes, “I have worked through much material over a decade and I have spent more than ten years compiling biographical accounts of nearly eight thousand muhaddithat.” Interestingly, he notes that not one of them has been reported to have considered the domain of family life inferior or to have neglected the duties therein or considered being a woman undesirable or inferior to that of a man.

These stories and incidents are only a few examples to show us the zeal of women, their willingness to participate in society and their desire to achieve great feats in this world. Crucially, women can achieve all this, whilst at the same time playing the role of a daughter, a sister, a wife and a mother.

Transcribed by Rabiah Nargis

Edited by Abdul Aziz

Tags bahishti zewar, great peronalities, muslim women, muslimah, sahabiyyah

I want to see. . .

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I want to see men who are selfless, caring and compassionate.

I want to see men who stand up for the truth with courage, spirit and valour.

I want to see men who are protectors of their families, not cowards.

I want to see men who are full of ghayrah and jealousy, nerve and audacity, guts and gallantry.

I want to see men who are guardians – wary and watchful, like shepherds watching their flock – not apathetic, not neglectful.

I want to see men who are ‘men’, not just males. Even animals have male species, but they are unable to do what we are capable of.

I want to see men who are good fathers, loving and devoted, playful and joyful, not moody and grumpy with regimental rules or over disciplined.

I want to see men with who are empathetic and sympathetic, who are thoughtful and considerate without reciprocation.

I want to see men who think intelligently, speak intelligently, and act intelligently – not docile and passive.

I want to see men who are articulate, eloquent and handsome in language; whose speech stirs fear in dead hearts and wakes up a sleepy mind.

I want to see men who are not beguiled by materialistic charm and charisma, rather they are content and appeased.

I want to see men who would give their lives fighting for what is right, standing for people’s rights; not fear anyone to gain the mist of peace even if they had to battle through a war of fog.

I want to see women who appreciate their true value, who are not limited to the colour of their skin and the size of their hips.

I want to see women who are fit and healthy, not forcefully anorexic and skinny to impress society’s desires.

I want to see women who comprehend what a ‘good woman’ is; it is far more than she who has the highest heels and tightest clothes.

I want to see women who understand being a mother is priceless; not every woman is blessed enough to be a mother.

I want to see women who have careers and jobs, but also realise there is no greater career and no superior job than the upbringing of children in a rightful manner.

I want to see women who dress to impress, yes, to impress Him SWT and only Him SWT.

I want to see women who are queens of their homes, without being bossy and dominant, be leaders of their children, be managers of their husband’s needs.

I want to see women who are good Muslimah daughters, give da’wah and attend circles without forgetting their obligation is with their family and parents first and foremost.

I want to see women who marry men for their character and piety, not just for his job, looks and salary.

I want to see women who support their husbands and encourage them without being negative or their first opponent.

I want to see men and women who will hopefully read this message in a positive light as that is the intention I have written it with. May we all take heed from the good and please forgive me and correct me on anything that comes across negative, In Sha Allah.

“A bitter truth is better than a sweet lie.”

Ismail Ibn Nazir Satia

(One who is in dire need of Allah’s Forgiveness, Mercy and Pleasure).

14 Rabiul Awwal 1436

Tags change, deception, real women, rectification, true men

Muslim women

In a world of Kardashians, be a Khadeejah RA.

Post author By Ismail ibn Nazir Satia
Post date 1 December 2015
No Comments on In a world of Kardashians, be a Khadeejah RA.

In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the especially Merciful.

“She broke the internet,” they proudly said. “Who did?” asked the little, old man living under the rock. Kim Kardashian broke the internet by flaunting her fully revealed derrière, slim waistline and all the rest.

We live in a world where women are awarded God-like statuses for having cheekbones so defined they can cut, for having their eyebrows sculpted with the latest tools and for having an eye-poppingly, beautiful hourglass figure. We live in a sad society where girls half my height (I’m an average 5’6 for the record) know how to contour and strobe and highlight and crease. Now, don’t jump the gun and box me off with the other ‘haraam police’ suffocating in the last cabinet drawer. I am a huge lover for all things make up and beauty but my concern lies when they have the power to conjure people into obsessive, obnoxious and narcissistic beings.

Turn on the TV, look at billboards around you, pick up a magazine or two, flick through Instagram and you will notice how we, as a society, are sickeningly fascinated or almost bewitched by good looks.

This fascination is universal. Some may disagree and say it’s limited to certain groups of people or specific cultures but I strongly believe otherwise. Being British Asian, I’ve seen it on both sides and it is the topic that will solely take up most of my ‘Things I HATE’ list. I have witnessed women gossiping with hearts flashing in their eyes about X who is so slender, so tall and oh so rosy in comparison to Y who, said with almost an expression of sympathy (argh the nerve!), is on the other end of the spectrum. There will be zero mention of piety, zero mention of intelligence and absolutely no mention of their personality. I find it incredibly sad, shallow and superficial that there is no recognition of things that actually require effort like wit, charisma, individuality, loyalty, humour, confidence, ambition and so much more.

We are surrounded by the Kardashians who, in my personal opinion, have really escalated this vile ideology of looks over the rest.

In this difficult age, I salute women whose role models are the likes of Khadeejah and Aa’ishah (Allah be pleased with them both). As much as I love Aa’ishah (Allah be pleased with her) for her vast knowledge and defiance in the face of corruption, my heart melts with deep love for Khadeejah (Allah be pleased with her). Her existence precedes mine by over 1400 years but every aspect of her beloved personality and character can be absorbed into ours and if I can, at the very least, continuously strive to mirror that, I am happy.

Khadeejah (Allah be pleased with her) was the daughter of Khuwaylid and Fatimah; they were almost figures of royalty amongst the Quraysh. She was widowed twice and had a son before her marriage to prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings upon him). Khadeejah (Allah be pleased with her) had heard about the honesty and truthfulness of Muhammad (peace and blessings upon him) but asked Nafisah and Maysarah more on his character. Why? Because ultimately, that’s what matters. Muhammad (peace and blessings upon him) and Khadeejah (Allah be pleased with her) came together through character and their marriage was praised throughout Makkah.

When the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings upon him) would remain in Hirah for days on end out of his love for isolation and contemplation, Khadeejah (Allah be pleased with her) did not complain about his lack of given family time or his continuous absence. Rather, she herself, at the old age of fifty-five, would climb up the rocky mountain to deliver his food and to offer comfort.

On the day of the first revelation when our prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings upon him) came down in a state of shock and confusion and spoke those famous words asking Khadeejah (Allah be pleased with her) to cover him, she didn’t say to him that maybe you shouldn’t be up there in the first place or maybe you’re just going mad all alone or maybe some demons have possessed you. Instead, she religiously, physically and emotionally consoled him. She (Allah be pleased with her) immediately tried to alleviate the grief that had struck our prophet by soothing him with her words, ‘Allah will never disgrace you.’ She (Allah be pleased with her) went on and listed all the beautiful natured habits he held and in essence, was telling him how much she loved him and how much Allah loved him (peace and blessings upon him) came.

وَاللَّهِ مَا يُخْزِيكَ اللَّهُ أَبَدًا، إِنَّكَ لَتَصِلُ الرَّحِمَ، وَتَحْمِلُ الْكَلَّ، وَتَكْسِبُ الْمَعْدُومَ، وَتَقْرِي الضَّيْفَ، وَتُعِينُ عَلَى نَوَائِبِ الْحَقِّ

“By Allah, Allah ﷻwill never disgrace you. You keep good relations with your kith and kin, help the poor and the destitute, serve your guests generously and assist the deserving calamity-afflicted ones.” (Bukhari)

This woman, the beautiful Khadeejah (Allah be pleased with her), who lived her life like a queen with all the luxuries, supported our Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings upon him) with all that she had financially. When times got incredibly tough during the boycott, she didn’t have access to, what was once a basic necessity for her, food and drink. Despite this, she never once wavered but defiantly stood beside our Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings upon him) as a solid force of support and loyalty.

When Khadeejah died (Allah be pleased with her), this support system that never once faltered before came tumbling down. Our prophet Muhammad’s (peace and blessings upon him) loyal wife, first believer, strong supporter, children’s mother, died as a result of the boycott. She was his fallback, she facilitated his aim, she complimented him in his goal. We all need that one person who will believe in us unconditionally, who will stand by us in moments of fear, insecurity and vulnerability, who will catch us when the going gets tough, who will facilitate our dreams, who will be our backbone and for our Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings upon him), that person was none other than the mighty Khadeejah (Allah be pleased with her).

I dream of a world where women are inspired by others due to everything other than what they are naturally blessed with. I dream of a world where every woman is more than just the fine nose and the hollow cheeks. I dream of a world where every woman is driven by an inner substance and a raging ambition. I dream of a world where every woman wants to be a Khadeejah (Allah be pleased with her) and not a Kardashian.

Allah grant every Muslimah the understanding of her true value, and the courage to practise her faith wholly for His pleasure. Ameen.

Umm Abdullah

20 Safar 1437

Tags dress to impress, ego, hayaa, kardashian, khadejah, khadijah, kim kardashian, muslim fashion, muslimah, muslimah role model

Muslim women

Women Visiting the Cemetery

Post author By Ismail ibn Nazir Satia
Post date 14 November 2015
No Comments on Women Visiting the Cemetery

Assalamu Alaykum

Question: Are women allowed to go to the cemetery?

Bismillah

Al-Jawab Wa Billahi at-Tawfeeq (the answer with Allah’s guidance)

The opinion of some jurists is that it is not permissible (at all) for women to visit the cemetery, since the Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) has cursed those women who visit the cemetery. As for the narration:

Prophet (SAW) said, ‘I used to prohibit you from visiting the graveyard, but now you can visit it. (Musnad ahmad).

These scholars state that the address is given only to men, not women.

Another opinion of some jurists (which is generally accepted and practised upon) is that, if by visiting the cemetery, women begin to cry, weep, wail and become uncontrollable, then it is Haram for them to go to the cemetery, and it is on account of this behaviour, the Prophet (SAW) cursed such women as mentioned in the above tradition. However, if the purpose of going to the cemetery is to take a lesson, and remember death and the hereafter, (and there is no possibility of crying and wailing), then it will be allowed for the older (50+) women, wearing their proper garb, to visit the cemetery, and not the young women.

As mentioned by these scholars, the allowance for these women to visit the cemetery is based on the narration which states that Aisha (RA) used to visit the graves of the Prophet(SA), Abu Bakr and Umar (RA). (Hashiya Jamiul Masaaneed wa As Sunan). (Kitabul Fatawa vol.3 pg.228; Marghoobul Fatawa vol.3pg.317,317).

However, due to the fact that women are soft by nature, if they go to the graveyard at a time that is close to the burial, then it is feared that they may cry loudly, and may become emotional, since the death of the person may still be fresh in their minds. Hence, it is best for them to allow a few days to past, when they have settled down.

Can sharing a husband be a feminist act?

Post author By Ismail ibn Nazir Satia
Post date 25 October 2015
No Comments on Can sharing a husband be a feminist act?

An excellent article! Alhumdu Lillah…

Muslim women

Do Women Need Feminism?

by Zara Huda Faris

MDI Transcript: Do Women Need Feminism? (Opening Presentation)

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بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

This is the official MDI Transcript of the opening presentation of Zara Huda Faris’ (Muslim Researcher and Speaker for MDI), which was delivered at the debate with Natalie Bennett (UK Green Party Leader), ‘Do Women Need Feminism’, held on 28 February 2013.
It is claimed that women need feminism because there are women who suffer injustice – but this ignores that nearly all human beings will suffer injustice at some point in their lives at the hands of other men or women – and justice for only one group of society, to the exclusion of another, is like a bird with only one wing – it just does not fly.
Men have a fundamental need for justice just the same as women do – and whilst the very word „feminism‟ discriminates, the word „justice‟ does not. Justice means giving people what they deserve or merit but, as we will see, feminism and justice are not synonymous.
Feminism is a highly ambiguous term, straitjacketing instead of liberating, it is the call for gender privilege masquerading as equality. In essence, feminism denies the human reality, it is unclear, and not a cause for justice.
Feminism is unjust
To begin. Feminists advocate that women have traditionally been dehumanised by a male dominated society, which they call the patriarchy; and that it has always been better to be a man. But this one-sided claim snubs the privileges that women have often enjoyed simply for being women.
The dynamics of society, at the most basic level, show that it has actually always been better to be a woman. Biologically, every woman counts in reproduction and perpetuating life itself – giving each woman an intrinsic worth, regardless of what she does. It only takes one man, however, for many women to have children. Historically, this gave rise to the idea amongst human societies that men are largely disposable, whilst every woman is indispensable.
This is why, instinctively, we prioritise safety and comfort for women rather than men; why women are rescued first in any emergency or disaster, and get the first seats in lifeboats; why men tend to work longer hours, risking life and limb in the more dirty and dangerous jobs like being coal miners, oil drillers, foot soldiers, construction workers, rubbish collectors, and the male relative acting as the unpaid bodyguard in the home. To quote one activist, „women are human beings whilst men are human doings.‟i This privilege is not appreciated by feminists because, as pro-feminist Michael Kimmel once said, „privilege is invisible to those who have it‟.
When it comes to violent crime, the reality is that the more violent the crime, the more likely the victim is to be a man. Men are more than twice as likely to be murdered than women in the UK.ii When it comes to domestic violence, the Guardian reported that men are the victims more than 40% of the time – excluding unreported cases – and men are half as likely to tell anyone about it in the first place.iii When it comes to the provision of refuges, there are 7,500 for females in England and Wales but only 60 for men. As for male rape victims within UK prisons, there‟s a collective state of denial – it‟s just not taken seriously.iv v Men are held to a higher standard of self-defence, so they often suffer in silence, reluctant to be re-victimised by an unsympathetic legal system or disbelieving treatment from professionals.
Yet feminists generally remain egregiously quiet about male suffering as a result of social roles. Whilst feminists seek “liberation” from the “shackles” of the traditional female role, the man is still expected to continue his traditional, disposable role. This one-sided narrative of feminism is not the way forward.
For feminists, “equality” is merely a facade to favour women, often at the expense of others. Like when former Equality Minister, Harriet Harman (a feminist) publicly requested employers to discriminate against white men and hire women instead if both candidates were equally qualified.vi Or when former Equality Minister, Patricia Hewitt, (also a feminist), was found guilty of breaching the Sex Discrimination Act by “overlooking a strong male candidate for a job in favour of a weaker female applicant”.vii
Feminists claim to seek “equality”, and call for a 40% minimum female quota on management boards, but conspicuously do not call for a 40% female quota for soldiers, prison guards, lumberjacks, miners, body guards, or construction workers – why is that? Why not campaign for an end to the „women and children first policy‟ for lifeboat rescue – why not make it first come, first served? Why not have women and men compete side by side at the Olympics – as equals? Of course, the reason feminists will not advocate this is because they are not really after equality, but the means to achieve gender privilege.
Another shocking example is the feminist campaign for closing women‟s prisons. The Fawcett Society, the UK‟s leading feminist campaign for closing the inequality gap between women and men, campaigned that female prisons did not suit women‟s needs.
So, as recommended in a report by Baroness Corstonviii, they should be closed and replaced with what is in effect, women‟s social clubs, where female offenders get to spend time with each other “organising their own shopping, budgets and cooking”, and then go home to their children at the end of each day.
The Corston Report also stated that „Women and men are different. Equal treatment of men and women does not result in equal outcomes‟, going on to claim that “women are governed by hormones and a monthly cycle, which affects their moods and emotions. […] these biological factors have a direct bearing on the way in which women experience stressful events during their lives.”

If a man were to say that about treating women differently in the workplace, he‟d be called a misogynist. Strangely, feminists are completely happy to say women are „governed by hormones‟ and cite „biological factors‟ when it comes to obtaining privileges for women.
So, for feminists, male criminals are to be punished to the full extent of the law while female criminals should get comfort and help. Why is female suffering and injustice more important than male suffering and injustice? Surely justice does not discriminate. But as we can see, feminism does! Feminists are not asking for equal treatment – but special treatment – gender privilege.
Women do not need gender privilege and therefore they do not need feminism. In reality, they, along with men, need justice – a comprehensive justice for all.
Feminism is unclear
Secondly, women need clear solutions – but feminism is unclear and evasive. Feminism comes in many different factions: conservative, liberal, socialist, post-modern, ecofeminism, and so on – with no shared value system or moral guidance, feminists do not agree on anything but the name – and will happily contradict themselves if need be. For example, feminists have no clear position for the sexual objectification of women – some feminists advocate androgynising the female appearance and others campaign for safer breast implants without adequately challenging why women feel compelled to get them in the first place.
Because feminism cannot deal with complexities, it promotes the idea of individualism instead – that women should be “empowered” through “redefining their own expectations” – and feminists are always on hand to dictate that women should make men the benchmark for these expectations. Instead of freeing women from male expectation, feminists expect free women to be male.
Feminism denies the human reality
Finally, I argue that feminism denies human reality – it straitjackets women, and does not understand or accommodate the natural proclivities of the genders.
Virtually all species, from bees to primates have different gender roles, with different biological abilities across the sexes. Yet feminists insist that any gender difference between humans is invented and there is nothing biological about men or women that should inform their social roles. Scientific studies have clearly demonstrated, however, the role of testosterone in building muscle, in increasing competitiveness, confidence and risk taking – making men better suited to the more hazardous and competitive roles of society. Because of testosterone, men naturally tend to be faster, bigger, possess more stamina and are physically stronger. So teaching a girl that she can naturally compete equally with men in everything is misleading.

One absurd example of this is when feminists, attempting to achieve equal outcomes between the sexes, had the strenuous physical tests for UK firefighters lowered and the standards relaxed in order to accommodate more female firefighters.ix
The standards you can now expect from professionals in burning buildings (and boardrooms – as I mentioned earlier), whether male or female, is now much lower than before because of feminists. It seems feminists are implicitly agreeing with Plato who said that women should be treated equally to men, except that not so much should be expected of them – leading feminists in their absurd quest for „equal outcomes‟ between the sexes, to campaign for mediocrity in the workplace rather than meritocracy.x
Feminists argue that the division of labor in traditional families constrains women’s opportunities and that women are discriminated against in getting jobs and wages, and that there exists a wage gap between the genders. However, these arguments collapse upon further scrutiny, because if employers could get away with paying a woman less for the exact same task that they could pay a man – why would they not just hire women? Furthermore, statistics cited by feminists as evidence of the wage gap, lump full-time hours in with overtime hours (of which women tend to choose to do far less than men)xi. They also average earnings from disparate jobs, like primary school teachers with investment bankers, sales engineers with chemical engineers, HR executives with finance executives. So they do not compare like for like jobs.
Nor are women discouraged from entering higher-paying fields. They outperform men at university,xii but are more likely to choose languages, arts and social sciences (which pay less), whilst men are more likely to choose engineering, technology, math and sciences (which pay more).
The division of labour once children are born, also means mothers tend to intensify their home commitments, and fathers tend to heavily intensify their work commitments. Men seem to make this trade-off more than women – perhaps because men feel more obligated to work than women do. The reality is that the statistics do not reflect discrimination but choices. If there is a „glass ceiling‟, it seems that women are the main architects of it, because they get to trade-off higher paying jobs for more flexible hours to combine work and family life, which means they not only get the benefit of the father‟s wage, but also a better work life balance for herself. Is not that more important than arbitrarily chasing the highest paying jobs?
Feminists do not want to be thought of as sexual objects, but seem happy to be valued according to their economic worth. Both assessments are materialistic, and neither should dictate the worth of a man or woman.
The wage gap is telling in that feminists cannot deny the impact of motherhood on the woman‟s life choices – that men and women cannot live lives completely autonomous from one another – that men and women actually need each other to make a whole.
So that‟s the wage gap – but if feminists are so keen on equality, what about their silence on the cancer research gap, the education gap, the violent crime gap, the death on the job gap, the suicide gap,xiii the life expectancy gap – all of which discriminate against men?

In idolising the male and trying to create an androgynous sexuality where men and women are virtually identical except for their anatomy, feminists have perpetuated a misogynistic self-loathing for the traditional female role – motherhood, and female tenderness is now viewed as a weakness. The strength of men which can be used to lead wars just as it can be used to be fierce protectors, is often kept in check by the compassion and temperance of women. But when women abandon these qualities, and want the same aggression that they perceive in men, what will be left?
When feminists are insisting on taking over the male role, is it any surprise that men are shirking the responsibilities which they once did with pride, diligence and self-less duty? If feminists want to ‘have-it-all’, they will most likely end up having to ‘do-it-all’, often at the expense of their own wellbeing, and most importantly, at the expense of our children.
Islam
In Islam, men and women and their actions are equal in the eyes of God, God says in the Qur‟an “Never will I allow to be lost the work of [any] worker among you, whether male or female; one of you is as the other” (The Holy Qur‟an 3:195). Islam primarily addresses men and women the same because men and women, by and large, share the same human characteristics – men and women are addressed separately only in relation to the few areas where men and women differ.
The Islamic system is not based on selfish individualism but a God-centred world view promoting mutual reciprocity. In Islam, women do not serve men, nor do men serve women. Rather, we serve God by helping each other and giving to each other based on human needs, with the understanding that humans are not all the same.
Islam guards the female from the moment she enters the world, by rebuking and prohibiting the practice of female infanticide as one of the gravest crimes to be committed. Such a religion can only go on to challenge the ill-treatment of women, and secure her wellbeing, at every stage of her life. Through property rights, marriage contracts, political participation, inheritance laws, and dress code, it advocates complimentarity with men and not competition. Marriage is the bedrock of family life and the fundamental unit of Islamic society, giving us rights and duties to one another. As a wife, she has the right to be provided for, including her own living space, and is guaranteed financial safeguards should her marriage not work out.
Yet Islam does not straitjacket women – it allows women to enter the workplace – but not out of the necessity of the struggle to support herself, but out of choice, to be pursued at her leisure. In Islam, nobody has a right over her earnings. However, Islam mandates that a man‟s earnings must be used to provide for the women of the household irrespective of whether they work or not. Furthermore, as a mother, the woman is given preference for respect from her children over their father. Such is the esteemed role she plays as the heart and soul of the family and, by extension, society.
Islam provides a clear, natural and just solution to ensuring justice for all humans, and has no need for feminism‟s vain attempts to reinvent the wheel that Islam set in motion over 1400 years ago.

In Islam, power is not a virtue – it is a burden and responsibility. Instead of seeking to empower ourselves, we should empower justice. In Islam, women are liberated from the servitude of men, and liberated from the expectations of other women. It is virtue, which all human beings, regardless of gender, career or social role, can equally strive for. In the end, true self-worth and contentment does not come through submission to any aspect of creation but rather, by submission to the Creator Himself and all that He Commands.
Zara Huda Faris- 28 February 2013
i Man Woman & Myth – www.manwomanmyth.com
ii Home Office Statistical Bulletin, Crime in England &Wales – 2009/10, p.51
iii The Guardian, 5 September 2010 – More than 40% of domestic violence victims are male, report reveals – http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/sep/05/men-victims-domestic-violence
iv The Guardian, 17 March 2010 – Rape is not just a women‟s issue – UK charity Mankind suggests that three in 20 men are victims of sexual violence – http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/mar/17/stern-review-male-rape (See also article on prison ombudsman – http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/may/02/male-rape-prison-jail-howard-league)
v It was also noted in a Home Office publication in 1999 that some studies of rape-case attrition had deliberately and inexplicably excluded cases of male rape. See: „Policing Male Rape and Sexual Assault‟ by Philip N. S. Rumney, Journal of Criminal Law (2008), Volume 72, Issue 1, February, (JCL 72 (67)).
vi http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7474801.stm
vii http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/female-champion-hewitt-discriminated-against-man-510584.html
viii The Corston Report, March 2007 – http://www.justice.gov.uk/publications/docs/corston-report-march-2007.pdf
ix http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1375381/Fire-service-strength-fitness-tests-relaxed-allow-women-firefighters.html. The tests were originally designed to identify candidates that could carry a certain weight over a certain distance and do other tasks involving upper body strength. Recently, however, the tests were hugely relaxed in order to accommodate more female firefighters. The ‘ladder lifting’ tests that all new recruits have to go through were made easier, and strenuous ‘beep test’ runs were scrapped. Women can also repeat fitness tests if they fail, without having to go back to the beginning.
x Plato‟s Republic (457a10)
xi Office for National Statistics – 2011 Annual Survey of Hours and Earnings (SOC 2000) – 23 November 2011
xii http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-16530012 – More women than men were studying for degrees in 2010/11 (57%). 66% of degrees awarded to women were either firsts or 2:1. The figure was 61% for men.
xiii There were 4,552 male suicides in 2011 and 1,493 female suicides. http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/subnational-health4/suicides-in-the-unitedkingdom/2011/stb-suicide-bulletin.html

Tags debate, equal, equality, feminism, feminist, gender equality, injustice, justice, life, muslimah, religion, school, sister, sisters, test, truth, woman, women, work, zara, zara huda, zara huda faris

Muslim women

Maybe Allah SWT wants you to become an A’ishah RA and not a Khadijah RA!

Post author By Ismail ibn Nazir Satia
Post date 7 October 2015
No Comments on Maybe Allah SWT wants you to become an A’ishah RA and not a Khadijah RA!

by Anonymous

To Allâh belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth. He creates what He wills. He bestows female (offspring) upon whom He wills, and bestows male (offspring) upon whom He wills. Or He bestows both males and females, and He renders barren whom He wills. Verily, He is the All-Knower and is Able to do all things. [Surah Ash-Shura, 42:49-50]

***

It is the way how this Dunya rolls and it is the way how Allah SWT has designed this Dunya to be. You may have something that other people have. And you may not have something that other people do not have.

Single people want to get married (and fast) because they think that’s the only part of their religion that’s deficient. Married people want to have children (and fast) because they think the only way they could truly be happy (and successful) is by having children. People with children want them to have the best of everything in this Dunya.

People with the best God-fearing children fear that their children would end up as failures in Dunya. And people with not-so-God-fearing children fear for their kids in the Akhira aspect. Married people want their freedom. Free single people want to be tied down in a commitment.

So the issue here is that we have to accept that regardless of what we want in this dunya and regardless of whether or not we get it, we’re still going to want more. And more. And so much more.

I’ve got proof:

On the authority of Anas bin Malik, may Allah be pleased with him, who narrated that Allah’s Messenger, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “If the son of Adam had a valley full of gold, he would love to have two valleys, for nothing fills his mouth except dust. And Allah forgives him who repents.” [Sahih Bukhari, Volume 8 Book 76 Number 447]

I mean it’s alright to want all those things because that’s how Allah SWT created us.

It’s perfectly normal.

‘Beautified for mankind is love of the joys (that come) from women and offspring; and stored-up heaps of gold and silver, and horses branded (with their mark), and cattle and land. That is comfort of the life of the world. Allah! With Him is a more excellent abode.’ [Surah Ale Imraan, 3:14].

But being focused on those things only in this world is not a healthy way to live in this Dunia. Your camera of life should not be zoomed onto this Dunia. A true Muslimah has foresight. She can see farther than that. Her eyes should be on something much better than all the pleasures of this dunia. Allah SWT continues the above verse:

‘Say: Shall I inform you of something better than that? For those who keep from evil, with their Lord, are Gardens underneath which rivers flow wherein they will abide, and pure companions, and contentment from Allah. Allah is Seer of His bondmen, Those who say: “Our Lord! We have indeed believed, so forgive us our sins and save us from the punishment of the Fire.” (They are) those who are patient, those who are true (in Faith, words, and deeds), and obedient with sincere devotion in worship to Allâh. Those who spend [give the Zakât and alms in the Way of Allâh] and those who pray and beg Allâh’s Pardon in the last hours of the night. [Surah Ale Imraan, 3:15-17]

Allah SWT promises you a kind of happiness that does not end. A promise of a Garden, your home inshaa’Allah, for which you don’t have to pay any bills. A husband or a companion who’s physically and spiritually devoid of anything negative and unpleasing. And Allah SWT’s Pleasure! Imagine that all that time you gave up things fearing Allah SWT and seeking His pleasure…in Jannah, how relieved you would be! That Allah SWT is pleased with you eternally. But to be able to achieve all that one will have to do the following according to the verse above:

Ask for forgiveness for sins and seek refuge from punishment of the Fire
Be patient
True to Deen in actions and words
Obedient with sincere devotion in worship to Allah SWT
Spend Zakah
Pray and beg Allah SWT’s Pardon in the last hours of the night (Qiyam al layl)

Dear Muslim Sisters: just because you don’t have children, it doesn’t mean that you are:

The only one being tested
The only one who does not have a certain type of blessing
That there’s something ‘wrong’ with you

What is worse is that people may start pitying you. Some people start making up stories about you. You don’t have time to waste if people do as they say these things. And you certainly don’t have time to waste your life thinking that true successful marriage should be equated to children. As long as Allah SWT did not say that, who are YOU to adopt such a definition? Worth thinking about. Isn’t it?

What this also means is that just because you don’t have a child right now, you won’t have one forever. If it was easy for Allah SWT to create Adam AS without any parents and ‘Eesa ibnu Maryam without any father, then do you think it is impossible for Him to bless you with a child?

What about the story of Zachariya AS who was very old and his wife who was barren? He said: “My Lord! How can I have a son, when my wife is barren, and I have reached the extreme old age.” He said: “So (it will be). Your Lord says; It is easy for Me. Certainly I have created you before, when you had been nothing!” [Surah Maryam, 19:8-9]

So what is it then which is preventing Allah SWT from blessing you with a child?

Some reasons could be as follows:

–> You and your husband can’t handle a child. Maybe it’ll divert you from the Deen of Allah SWT! Remember the story in Suratul Kahf in which Khidr killed a boy because he was going to oppress his parents when he grew up?!

‘Then they both proceeded, till they met a boy, he (Khidr) killed him. Mûsa (Moses) said: “Have you killed an innocent person who had killed none? Verily, you have committed a thing “Nukr” (a great Munkar – prohibited, evil, dreadful thing)!” (74)”And as for the boy, his parents were believers, and we feared lest he should oppress them by rebellion and disbelief. (80) [Surah Al Kahf]

Think about that! And Allah SWT does not burden a soul beyond its capacity.

‘Allâh burdens not a person beyond his scope. He gets reward for that (good) which he has earned, and he is punished for that (evil) which he has earned…’ [Surah Al Baqarah, verse 286]

–> You and your husband’s past sins. Now it doesn’t mean that those who have kids are righteous people. Not at all. But when one faces a certain challenging situation, one must look at oneself and see why is that certain type of Rizq is not coming my way? Rizq includes money,kids,spouse…in fact it includes everything that Allah SWT bestows us with. Here’s a solution in the Quraan:

“I said (to them): ‘Ask forgiveness from your Lord; Verily, He is Oft-Forgiving; ‘He will send rain to you in abundance; ‘And give you increase in wealth and children, and bestow on you gardens and bestow on you rivers.’ ” [Surah An Nooh, 71:10-12]

Here Prophet Nooh AS proposes one key method to get rain, increase in wealth and children. And that one key method is Istighfaar. If you really want kids, you may want to focus on creating a routine of Istighfaar. Of course, most of you want kids. Would most of you end up asking for forgiveness?

–> Allah SWT wants to choose you for Himself. What I mean by that is, often times our hearts are filled with love for people and things. Once those people and things no longer reside in our heart, then only we have room for Allah SWT. One can never have Allah SWT and love for this Dunia in their hearts because we all know that hearts are like any other vessels. So we end up then pleasing those whom we love, forgetting the One who granted us the object that we loved and the emotion of love itself.

‘…And of mankind are some that set up rivals; unto Allah they love them as with the love due to Allah. And those who believe are strongest in love of Allah…’[Surah al Baqarah, 2:165]

By not granting you kids, Allah SWT does not want you to waste those emotions over kids. Instead He SWT wants you to love Him more than anyone else. He want to empty your heart from all other types of love which shackle you and make you weak and He wants you to love only Him. Him Alone. So much so that your eyes only see the Guidance He SWT has sent, your ears hear what He SWT wants you to hear…He SWT does not want you to get distracted. He wants you to be focused on the greater purpose of your creation…

Makes you love Allah SWT more, right?

I mean imagine the situation of Aisha RA. She did not have any kids. But you know what? She ended up teaching and guiding millions and billions of kids. She was not only a mother because she’s the Mother of Believers…she lived up to it by caring for those who came to learn from her just like a mother.

So what if you don’t ever become a mother? Can’t you channelize that love and guide other people’s kids? Can’t you become a mother to those kids who are orphaned? Can’t you be a form of mercy by educating other kids to become great Muslims?

Think about it! Think about the reward!

You may not become a Khadija, who gave birth to all Prophet’s kids but you then get the chance to become Aisha. Khadija,may Allah SWT be pleased with her, raised excellent kids and we know all the wonderful qualities she had and all the beautiful ways she contributed towards advancement of Islam. But she didn’t get the chance like Aisha RA, i.e. to teach the Salaf, to become a Faqiha. Why? Because Allah SWT gives some people some blessings while others, other blessings.

What’s important to remember is how would YOU utilize the blessings that you have in His Path?

One way to be content with whatever comes your way is by having good expectations of Allah SWT. If Allah SWT made things happen, then know that they are good for you. You may not know but Allah SWT does because He SWT loves you more than you or anyone can love you.

“Allah `azza wa jall said: ‘Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by being inflicted with poverty, and were I to enrich him, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by wealth and affluence, and were I to deprive him, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by good health, and were I to make him sick, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by disease and illness, and were I to make him healthy, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he who seeks worship by a certain act but I prevent that from him so that self amazement does not enter his heart. Certainly, I run the affairs of My slaves by My Knowledge of what is in their hearts. Certainly, I am the All-Knower, All-Aware’.” [Tabarani]

So be content and leave everything to Him.

Because He SWT knows what we want and He SWT knows when to grant us what we want. Or sometimes whether or not to grant us those things. For He SWT knows best.

***

Some duaas that you can recite daily(all from Quraan) to be blessed with righteous offspring and/or rectify the state of current offspring:

Surah Al Baqarah, verse 128
Surah Ale Imraan, verse 38
Surah Ibrahim, verse 40
Surah Furqan, verse 74

And how can you ensure that Allah SWT listens to your duaa? Look at what Zachariya AS and his wife are described as doing:

And (remember) Zakariyya (Zachariah), when he cried to his Lord: “O My Lord! Leave me not single (childless), though You are the Best of the inheritors.” So We answered his call, and We bestowed upon him Yahya (John), and cured his wife (to bear a child) for him. Verily, they used to hasten on to do good deeds, and they used to call on Us with hope and fear, and used to humble themselves before Us. [Surah Al Anbiya, 21:89-90]

But always remember:

‘And it is not your wealth, nor your children that bring you nearer to Us (i.e. pleases Allâh), but only he who believes (in the Islâmic Monotheism), and does righteous deeds (will please us); as for such, there will be twofold reward for what they did, and they will reside in the high dwellings (Paradise) in peace and security.’ [Surah Saba,34:37]

Why’s that? Because:

‘Wealth and children are the adornment of the life of this world. But the good righteous deeds, that last, are better with your Lord for rewards and better in respect of hope. [Surah Al Kahf, 18:46]

May Allah SWT make us content with what He has Decreed for us and bless our Ummah with righteous offspring.Ameen.

And Allah SWT knows best.

Please remember me in your duaas.

Wasalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Love,

From a sister who cares

Tags baby, miscarriage, offspring, pregnancy, stillborn

Muslim women

Secret Teacher: the working culture in teaching is impossible for mums

Post author By Ismail ibn Nazir Satia
Post date 1 September 2015
No Comments on Secret Teacher: the working culture in teaching is impossible for mums

Courtesy of: http://www.theguardian.com/teacher-network/2015/jul/25/secret-teacher-working-culture-teaching-impossible-for-mums?CMP=new_1194&CMP=

Imagine the scene. I’m racing down the motorway, pedal to the metal, desperately trying to get to my daughter’s school. I’m running half an hour late for one of the most important events in the school calendar: parents’ evening. When I finally arrive, I pat myself down to try and look presentable, before scrambling into a seat next to my husband. I mouth “sorry” as I join the meeting, which is already in full flow.

In recent months I have been absent from countless events – from my children’s football matches to their school plays. The reason is ironic: it’s because I am a teacher. I struggle to find time to spend with my family because of the 12-hour days I am expected to work. My students get every bit of me and I would never want to give any less – but it seems unfair that my own children have to suffer.

It’s all the usual things that are tying me down: data and tracking progress, endless marking, pressure to prepare for Ofsted and proving that my pupils are working at the right level. But it’s not just the workload that makes it impossible for me to be there for my children. My main gripe is that there’s no flexibility about when my work gets done. There is a culture of staying until all hours, which means I can’t pick my children up from school or make them dinner. I am happy to do the work, but it doesn’t seem like a massive ask to leave on time every now and then, and finish bits off at home.

When I do occasionally leave early, the judgmental eyes of the senior leadership team look down on me. I left at 5.30pm one day to pick up my son from school because my husband was away and my mum was poorly. I had already spent hours planning lessons that I knew were good, but the fact that I wasn’t floating around the corridors until midnight just wasn’t acceptable. Comments were made. “Oh, you’re leaving early,” one colleague said. In the staff meeting the next morning, praise was showered on those who had worked late the night before.

Then there are the events that teachers are expected to attend, which also rob me of valuable family time. I am forced to go to staff meetings and curriculum evenings even when they aren’t related to my subject; sometimes I feel like a showpiece, there to be displayed to parents regardless of whether I’m needed or not.

All this means I am forced to compromise on the time I spend with my children. They don’t complain any more when I miss their school events, they just get a disappointed look on their faces. I feel I am shortchanging them. I am tired of giving excuses and I’m sure they are tired of hearing them.

I believe it is possible to be a good teacher and a mother. All we need is the support of schools and managers, and for them to allow us the flexibility we need. It’s about how we are allowed to manage our work. There shouldn’t be this pressure to be tied to our desks; staying later doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re working any harder. Managers need to understand that parents have their own children to care for – so what if we don’t stay late? We can work at other times.

It’s because of this lack of support that I’ve had to make the tough decision to leave teaching this year. I have little choice but to go for the sake of my family. I don’t know what I am going to do next – I need to spend the summer thinking about how I can use my skills in a role that will be more flexible. It’s a big step and one that I hadn’t anticipated making, but it’s got to the point where something has to change. My children are nine and 12, and I want to capture these last moments of them growing up.

Every day is a balancing act for mums in any profession and I guess we’ve all got to get used to that. But I worry about the future of education – I fear that this ridiculous working culture is making teaching unworkable for mums.

Tags children priority, kids first, schedule, teaching career, working mums

Muslim men Muslim women

“And the male is not like the female.” (Surah Imran)

Post author By Ismail ibn Nazir Satia
Post date 31 August 2015
No Comments on “And the male is not like the female.” (Surah Imran)

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

QUESTION: Is there a mention of the equality of women in the Qur’an?

ANSWER:

Praise be to Allah.

Firstly:

This word – equality – which many thinkers in both the east and the west advocate in various fields of life is a word which is based on deviation and a lack of understanding, especially when the speaker attributes this idea of equality to the Qur’an and to Islam.

One of the things that people misunderstand is when they say that “Islam is the religion of equality”. What they should say is that Islam is the religion of justice.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

“Here we should note that there are some people who speak of equality instead of justice, and this is a mistake. We should not say equality, because equality implies no differentiation between the two. Because of this unjust call for equality, they started to ask, what is the difference between male and female?’ So they made males and females the same, and then the communists said, ‘What difference is there between ruler and subject? No one has any authority over anyone else, not even fathers and sons; the father has no authority over his son,’ and so on.

But if we say justice, which means giving each one that to which he or she is entitled, this misunderstanding no longer applies, and the word used is correct. Hence it does not say in the Qur’aan that Allaah enjoins equality, rather it says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Verily, Allah enjoins Al‑‘Adl (i.e. justice)”

[al-Nahl 16:90]

“and that when you judge between men, you judge with justice”

[al-Nisa’ 4:58]

Those who say that Islam is the religion of equality are lying against Islam. Rather Islam is the religion of justice which means treating equally those who are equal and differentiating between those who are different.

No one who knows the religion of Islam would say that it is the religion of equality. Rather what shows you that this principle is false is the fact that most of what is mentioned in the Qur’aan denies equality, as in the following verses:

‘Say: Are those who know equal to those who know not?”

[al-Zumar 39:9]

‘Say: Is the blind equal to the one who sees? Or darkness equal to light?’

[al-Ra’d 13:16]

‘Not equal among you are those who spent and fought before the conquering (of Makkah, with those among you who did so later’

[al-Hadeed 57:10]

‘Not equal are those of the believers who sit (at home), except those who are disabled (by injury or are blind or lame), and those who strive hard and fight in the Cause of Allaah with their wealth and their live’

[al-Nisa’ 4:95]

Not one single letter in the Qur’an enjoins equality, rather it enjoins justice. You will also find that the word justice is acceptable to people, for I feel that if I am better than this man in terms of knowledge, or wealth, or piety, or in doing good, I would not like for him to be equal to me.

Every man knows that he find it unacceptable if we say that the male is equal to the female.”

Sharh al-‘Aqeedah al-Waasitah, 1/180-181

Based on this, Islam does not regard men and women as equal in matters where regarding them as equal would result in injustice to one of them, because equality that is inappropriate is a severe form of injustice.

The Qur’an commands women to wear clothes that are different from those worn by men, because of the differences in the ways each sex is tempted by the other. The temptation posed by men is less than the temptation posed by women, so the clothes that women should wear are different than the clothes that men wear. It makes no sense to tell women to expose the parts of the body that men are allowed to expose, because of the differences in the temptation posed by a woman’s body and a man’s body – as we shall explain.

Secondly:

There are matters in which men and women are treated differently in Islamic sharee’ah, such as:

1 – Qiwaamah (being in charge of the household)

Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means”

[al-Nisa’ 4:34]

Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

“Allah says ‘Men are the protectors and maintainers of women’ meaning that the man is in charge of the woman, i.e., he is the leader and head of the household, the one who disciplines her if she goes astray.

‘because Allah has made one of them to excel the other’ i.e., because men are superior to women and are better than women. Hence Prophethood was given only to men, as was the position of khaleefah, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, ‘No people shall ever prosper who appoint a woman as their ruler.’ This was narrated by al-Bukhaari from the hadeeth of ‘Abd al-Rahman ibn Abi Bakrah from his father. The same applies to the position of qadhi (judge), etc.

‘and because they spend (to support them) from their means’ refers to the mahr and the spending on women’s maintenance that Allah has enjoined upon men in His Book and in the Sunnah of His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). So a man is inherently better than a woman, and he is superior to her because he spends on her. So it is appropriate that he should be in charge of her, as Allah says, ‘but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them’ [al-Baqarah 2:228].

‘Ali ibn Abi Talhah RA said, narrating from Ibn ‘Abbaas RA: ‘Men are the protectors and maintainers of women’ means that men are the leaders of women and they should obey them in areas where Allah has enjoined obedience. Obedience may mean treating his family kindly and protecting his wealth.”

(Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/490)

2 – Testimony or bearing witness. The Qur’an states that the testimony of one man is equivalent to the testimony of two women.

Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And get two witnesses out of your own men. And if there are not two men (available), then a man and two women, such as you agree for witnesses, so that if one of them (two women) errs, the other can remind her”

[al-Baqarah 2:282]

Ibn Katheer RH said:

Two women are to take the place of one man because women are lacking in reason, as Muslim narrated in his Saheeh… from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O women, give in charity and seek forgiveness a great deal, for I have seen that you form the majority of the people of Hell.” A wise woman among them said, “Why is it, O Messenger of Allah, that we are the majority of the people of Hell?” He said, “Because you curse too much, and you are ungrateful to your spouses. I have seen none lacking in common sense and failing in religion but (at the same time) robbing the wisdom of the wise, besides you.” The woman asked: “O Messenger of Allah, what is wrong with our common sense and our religion?” He said: “Your lack of common sense (can be well judged from the fact) that the evidence of two women is equal to that of one man, that is a proof of the lack of common sense, and you spend some nights (and days) in which you do not offer prayer and in the month of Ramadhan (during the days) you do not observe fast, that is a failing in religion.”

(Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/336)

There may be some women who are wiser than some men, but this is not the usual rule and such women are not in the majority. Sharee’ah is based on what is general and most common.

The fact that women are lacking in reason does not mean that they are crazy, rather their reason is often overtaken by their emotions, and this happens to women more often than it happens to men. No one would deny this except one who is arrogant.

3 – A woman inherits half of what a man inherits.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Allaah commands you as regards your children’s (inheritance): to the male, a portion equal to that of two females”

[al-Nisa’ 4:11]

Al-Qurtubi RH said:

Because Allah knows better than they do what is in their best interests, He made the division of inheritance based on differentiation, because He knows what is in their best interests.

Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 5/164

For example, a man is obliged to spend more than a woman, so it is appropriate that he should have a larger share of inheritance than a woman.

4 – Clothing:

A woman’s ‘awrah includes her entire body. The least that can be said is that she should not uncover anything except her face and hands, and it was said that she should not even uncover that.

Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allah is Ever Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”

[al-Ahzaab 33:59]

The ‘awrah of a man is the area from the navel to the knees.

It was said to ‘Abdullah ibn Ja’far ibn Abi Talib, “Tell us what you heard from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and what you saw of him, and do not tell us about anyone else, even if he was trustworthy.” He said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) say, ‘The area between the navel and the knee is ‘awrah.’”

Narrated by al-Hakim in al-Mustadrak (6418)

Other examples include the following, which is not a comprehensive list.

There are other differences between the sexes, including the following:

A man can marry four women, but a woman can only have one husband.
A man has the right to issue a divorce and it is valid if he does so, but a woman does not have the right to issue a divorce.
A man may marry a woman from among the People of the Book (Jews and Christians), but a Muslim woman may not marry anyone but a Muslim.
A man may travel without his wife or any of his mahrams, but a woman may not travel unless she is accompanied by a mahram.
Prayer in the mosque is obligatory for men, but not for women; a woman’s prayer in her house is more beloved to Allah.
A woman may wear silk and gold, but a man must not wear them.

Everything that we have mentioned is based on the difference between men and women, because the male is not like the female. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And the male is not like the female”

[Aal ‘Imran 3:36]

The male is different from the female in many ways, in his strength, in his body, in his toughness and roughness, whereas women are soft and gentle.

And men are different in intellectual terms, for men are known for their strength of understanding and their memory as compared to women. Women are weaker than men in memory and forget more than men do. This is well known, for most of the reputable scholars in the world are men. There are some women who are more intelligent and have better memories than some men, but this does not cancel out the general rule. Most cases are as we have described above.

With regard to emotions, men speak of them when they get angry or when they are happy, but women are affected by the slightest emotional effects, so their tears flow at the slightest emotional provocation.

Jihad is obligatory for men, but jihad in the sense of fighting is not obligatory for women. This is the mercy of Allah towards them, and consideration for their nature.

In conclusion we may say that the rulings for men are not like the rulings for women.

Thirdly:

Islam regards men and women as equally obliged with regard to many acts of worship and interactions with others. For example, women do wudoo’ just as men do, they do ghusl as men do, they pray as men do, and they fast as men do, except when they are menstruating or bleeding following childbirth. Women pay zakaah as men pay zakaah, and they do Hajj as men do, except for a few differences in the rulings. It is permissible and acceptable to buy from a woman, and if a woman gives charity, that is permissible. It is permissible for a woman to set free the slaves that she owns, and there are many other similar cases because women are the twin halves of men, as it says in the hadeeth:

It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was asked about a man who finds some wetness (on his clothes) but did not have an erotic dream, and he said, “He should do ghusl.” He was asked about a man who had an erotic dream but did not find any wetness, and he said, “He does not have to do ghusl.” Umm Salamah said, “O Messenger of Allah, if a woman sees that, does she have to do ghusl?” He said, “Yes, for women are the twin halves of men.”

(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 113; Ahmad, 25663.

Conclusion:

Women are like men in some aspects and they differ from them in others. Most of the rulings of Islam apply to men and women equally. In cases where a distinction is made between the sexes, the Muslim regards that as a mercy from Allah and a sign of His knowledge of His creation, but the arrogant kaafir sees it as oppression and injustice, so he stubbornly insists on claiming that men and women are the same. So let him tell us how a man can carry a foetus and breastfeed it? He stubbornly ignores the weakness of women and how they bleed during their monthly period, and he stubbornly beat his head against the rock of reality. But the Muslim is still at peace with his faith, surrendering to the command of Allaah.

“Should not He Who has created know? And He is the Most Kind and Courteous (to His slaves), All‑Aware (of everything)”

[al-Mulk 67:14 – interpretation of the meaning]

And Allah knows best.

Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid (Hafdhahullh).

Tags equality, feminism, feminist, gender equality, islam oppresses women, justice, muslim women oppressed, Qur'an, quraan, sexism, sexist

Muslim women

A Vision for Muslim Women in the West

Post author By Ismail ibn Nazir Satia
Post date 28 October 2014
No Comments on A Vision for Muslim Women in the West

Shaykh (Dr) Haitham al-Haddad, London, UK

When you sit down to reflect on what your vision is for your life, how do you know that the vision you’ve chosen is in fact the right one? Is it by the level of happiness you are convinced that your vision, if achieved, would give you? Or is it the fame and attention you know you’ll attain if you fulfilled it? It would be a shame if you spent years going up the ladder of life, only to find that the ladder was leaning against the wrong wall. Imagine if after all the effort you had exerted you found yourself on the Day of Judgment wishing you’d spent all that time and energy pursuing a different vision on Earth, one that would have given you a higher status in the hereafter which, after all, will last forever. On the Day of Judgment, things will become very clear to us in the starkest of ways. We will see reality as it truly is and realize how short was the opportunity that we had on Earth as the following hadith clearly illustrates:

Anas ibn Malik narrates that the messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “The most affluent of the people in this world, of those who will go to Hell, will be brought on the Day of Resurrection and dipped once in the Fire. Then it will be said: O son of Adam, did you ever see anything good? Did you ever have any pleasure? He will say: No, by Allah, O Lord. Then the most destitute of the people in this world, of those who will enter Paradise, will be brought and dipped once in Paradise, and it will be said to him: O son of Adam, did you ever see anything bad? Did you ever experience any hardship? He will say: No, by Allah, O Lord. I never saw anything bad and I never experienced any hardship.”^[1]

Imagine how such a wealthy man will feel about his supposedly successful life on Earth. What once seemed like the ultimate achievement for a human being will seem like a wasted opportunity. As the hadith shows us, any achievement in this life is worthless if it does not lead to success in the hereafter. Allah confirms this, in His saying:

“Everyone shall taste death. And only on the Day of Resurrection shall you be paid your wages in full. And whoever is removed away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise, he indeed is successful. The life of this world is only the enjoyment of deception (a deceiving thing).”^[2]

Therefore when we talk about having a vision for our lives, the vision should be one that leads us to maximum achievement in the Hereafter. It was reported by Mu’adh ibn Jabal that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “The People of Paradise will not regret anything except one thing alone: the hour that passed them by and in which they made no remembrance of Allah.”^[3]So turning to the specific question of the ideal vision for Muslim women, we have to approach the discussion with a Hereafter-centred worldview.

Although it is praiseworthy that many Muslim women think about how best to spend their lives, it is unfortunate that many Muslim women in the West have been heavily influenced by a Western materialistic understanding of life, values and the status of women. Ironically, increasing numbers of Western non-Muslim women have begun to realise the importance and value of their role in the home and reject the notion of a woman’s worth being defined by her career, even campaigning for the right of women to stay at home.^[4]

It seems that some of our Muslim sisters have bought into the career-oriented model of Muslim womanhood. They speak about empowering Muslim women to become successful businesswomen, company directors, financial advisors, police officers, members of Parliament and even actors, singers and dancers as if this is something Islam has endorsed.

To add to their delusion, we find Muslim preachers or activists who promote such ideas without understanding the Qur’anic vision for women properly. We rarely hear them referring to the empowerment of Muslim women by means of being devoted wives and outstanding mothers. Despite the countless studies and research that has been conducted into the breakdown of society in general and the family unit in particular, all of which demonstrate that Western notions of female success have played a significant role in that breakdown, many Muslim women aspire to the very lifestyle that the West is now suffering the consequences of and recoiling from.

What is the noblest Islamic achievement for a Muslim woman?

I am sure that you may have come across various conflicting answers to this question, but instead of opting for what may feel right, we must identify the appropriate tools that enable us to identify what the shari’ah says, since it is the way of life given to us by our All-Wise Creator. I have been analysing the attitude of scripture towards the role of women for some time. We find that there a number of women mentioned in the Qur’an from amongst the believers and the disbelievers. Among the females mentioned in the Qur’an two of the noblest have been presented as role models for all Believers. Allah says,

“And Allah has set forth an example for those who believe, the wife of Pharaoh, when she said: “My Lord! Build for me a home with You in Paradise, and save me from Pharaoh and his work, and save me from the people who are oppressors. And Maryam (Mary), the daughter of ‘Imran who guarded her chastity; and We breathed into her through Our spirit (Gabriel), and she testified to the truth of the words of her Lord and His Scriptures, and she was of the obedient.”^[5]

The Prophet’s Companion Abu Musa Al-Ash’ari narrates that the Prophet (peace be upon him) described the status of these two women by saying, “Many amongst men attained perfection but amongst women none attained perfection except Maryam (Mary), the daughter of ‘Imran, and Asiya, the wife of Pharaoh. And the superiority of Aishah to other women is like the superiority of tharid (a dish) to other meals.”^[6]

Let us reflect on these two verses and the qualities of these two outstanding and noble women. They were explicitly presented as role models for humanity with their foremost qualities highlighted with candour. The first role model was Asiya, the wife of Pharaoh who was one of the worst tyrants in history. Her most important quality is her distinguished connection with Allah and her fervent desire for the hereafter. She supplicated, “My Lord! Build for me a home with You in Paradise.” Her second core quality was rejecting Pharaoh, his actions and the wrong-doers. She was not taken by the splendour of this life that she could have easily attained as Pharoah’s queen. The second role model, Maryam, was primarily praised for guarding her chastity. Her second major quality was her submission to the will of Allah who tested her by causing her to become pregnant without marriage. She also believed in the reality of the word of Allah “be”, the outcome of the word, and was exceptionally obedient and submissive to Allah.

When the Qur’an mentions other women, it is very evident that in praising any believing woman it praises her for possessing similar qualities. If she is a married woman the Qur’an would praise her as a wife, supporting her husband and being dutiful to him. If she is a mother, the Qur’an would praise her for her important role as a nurturer of the next generation. I have not witnessed the Qur’an praising any woman for her contribution outside of this framework. For example, we don’t see the Qur’an praising a woman for her political involvement, da’wah activism, level of knowledge, social engagement or even leadership. This article cannot possibly include the stories of all women mentioned in the Qur’an, but a simple analysis should confirm this finding.

The wife of Imran mentioned in Surah ‘Aal ‘Imran is another example of an exemplary woman. She was a wife and a mother. The main quality mentioned in Qur’an about her is what is mentioned in the verse,

“(Remember) when the wife of ‘Imran said, “O my Lord! I have vowed to you what is in my womb to be dedicated for your service, so accept this from me. Verily, you are the All-Hearer, the All-Knowing.”^[7]

According to the exegete Ibn Kathir, the wife of ‘Imran mentioned here is the mother of Maryam, and her name was Hannah bint Faqudh. Muhammad bin Ishaq, the famous biographer and historian, mentioned that Hannah could not have children and that one day, she saw a bird feeding its chick. She wished she could have children and supplicated to Allah to grant her offspring. Allah accepted her supplication and she became pregnant. She vowed to make her child concentrate on worship and serving Bayt Al-Maqdis (the Masjid in Jerusalem). She did not know then if she would give birth to a male or a female child. The fact that this is the only thing mentioned about her indicates that this is the most important contribution that distinguished her and placed her in this praiseworthy position. It is evident from the story that her goal was to be a mother and when she knew that this was likely to happen she vowed to dedicate her child to serve Allah’s cause in order to thank Him for what he had given her. Similarly, Maryam’s chief contribution was her giving birth to a great Prophet and then taking care of him. The same may be said about the contribution of Musa’s mother. Their role in the lives and achievements of these great men was indispensable.

In this vein, a person might ask himself, why was it that Allah sent male Prophets and not female? He says, “And We sent not before you (as Messengers) any but men.”^[8]It is noteworthy that Allah sent over a hundred thousand Prophets, three hundred and fifteen of them messengers^[9] and all of them were men.

If we survey the sunnah of the Prophet (peace be upon him), a similar understanding is found. The qualities of devotion to Allah and their families were at the centre of the praiseworthy qualities of women. For example, the Prophet clarifies the Islamic view regarding the best women and the central reason behind it saying, “The best women from the riders of the camels (the best Arab women) are the righteous among the women of Quraish. They are the kindest women to their children in childhood and the most careful of women in regards to the property of their husbands.”^[10] In this hadith the Prophet explains their goodness by being good wives and good mothers.

In another statement the Prophet explains that one of the main aims of marriage is to produce and nurture children who follow the Sunnah of the Prophet (peace be upon him) in worshiping Allah and glorifying him. The companion Ma’qil ibn Yasaar narrated that a man came to the messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and said: “O messenger of Allah, I have found a woman who is from a good family and is pretty, but she does not bear children – should I marry her?” He told him not to. Then he came to him a second time and said something similar and he told him not to marry her. Then he came to him a third time and said something similar and he (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Marry the one who is loving and fertile, for I will be proud of your great numbers before the nations on the Day of Resurrection.”^[11] Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeem Abaadi said in his commentary of this hadith, ‘Marry the one who is loving means the one who loves her husband; and the one who is fertile is the one who bears a lot of children.”^[12]

We also find in the following Prophetic statement narrated by Abu Hurairah and recorded by Ibn Hibbaan, “If a woman offers her five daily prayers, fasts her month (Ramadan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her, “Enter Paradise from whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish.” If entering paradise is your ultimate aim, then this hadith is a summary of how you may attain that goal and consequently, should be part and parcel of any vision you formulate for a truly successful life.

It is true that there are a number of Qur’anic verses and Prophetic traditions that mention the contribution of women in military activities, their political participation and da’wah work, however an analysis of these incidents confirms that they were carried out as complementary activities to their principal role as wives or mothers. In fact, we can go so far as to say that we do not find an emphasis in the shari’ah on any role for a woman except her role as a mother, a wife or a righteous servant of Allah. For example, we find that the shari’ah considered jihad as one of the noblest activities for men but did not encourage women to take part in it despite the military contribution of a number of female Companions.

There is a very clear hadith that demonstrates the Islamic position concerning women participating in jihad. A’ishah RA narrated that she asked the Prophet, “O Messenger of Allah, do women have to engage in jihad? He said, “a jihad in which there is no fighting: Hajj and ‘Umrah.”^[13] Scholars either disliked women taking part in progressive jihad or prohibited it. Similarly, a number of textual evidences praise a just male ruler. The vast majority of Muslim scholars were men and women throughout Islamic history were never of a significant number.

In conclusion, I posit that the best role, the most honorable and worthy role for a woman is striving to be a fine wife, a good mother, or both. This role does not only secure the best for a woman in the hereafter, but also fits perfectly with her natural disposition. In her study published by Centre for Policy Studies in 2009, Cristina Odone, former deputy editor of The New Statesman (1998-2004)concluded that “far from being committed to a career, the overwhelming majority of women would prefer to opt out of it. Instead of finding satisfaction in full-time work, most women realise themselves in their other roles as carers, partners, community members, and above all mothers”. Furthermore, McIntosh and Bauer concluded that working women are “often felt overwhelmed and unable to keep up with their job and family responsibilities”. They added that “the working mother felt she had two full time jobs.”^[14]

The embracing of this role is a fundamental element for the stability of the family which is the cornerstone of a stable society. There are a number of studies that confirm that housewives are the preservers of society in general and in many cases they offer their families more as homemakers than the income they might bring in from a career does. Other studies confirm that that the overall economic status of society at large is better when the women of that society are focused on the upbringing of children and maintaining the integrity of their families. In the aforementioned study the author suggested that what is needed is “a profound cultural shift.” She adds that “the establishment should stop forcing women into a mould, and allow them instead to realise their ambitions. This means accepting and supporting a value system that is family-centred, not work centred; and rehabilitating free emotional services, from cooking family meals to volunteering at the school fair. We need to redirect our thinking about women’s needs, to create a society in which women are freed from unnecessarily destructive pressures, children thrive and all can feel comfortable with the roles they fulfil not just as workers, but as parents, partners and citizens.”

I ask our sisters in Islam to embrace their true role in society and reap the huge rewards that Allah has in store for them for fulfilling this role. I ask our brothers to support them in fulfilling this role. When we define a vision for our lives, we are seeking to make a contribution and leave a legacy. Your legacy, sisters is that if you take on the role that Allah has ordained for you, then you will positively affect the future of the Muslim ummah and ultimately the future of the world. That is a legacy beyond measure.

In part two we will look at the role Muslim women can play if they are not yet married.

Notes: This is the first article in this series

Sources: www.islam21c.com
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[1] Sahih Muslim

[2] 3:185

[3] Al-Bayhaqi in Shu`ab al-Imaan and al-Tabarani

[4] See: http://www.mothersathomematter.org/

[5] 66:11-12

[6] Sahih Al-Bukhari

[7] 3:35

[8] Al Quran 12:109

[9] The number was mentioned in a few prophetic statements recorded by Imam Ahmad in his Musnad and ibn Hibban.

[10] Al-Bukhari and Muslim and reported by Abu Hurairah

[11] Abu Dawood and al-Nasaa’i

[12] ‘Awn al-Ma’bood (6/33)

[13] Al-Bukhari and Muslim

[14] A thesis presented in partial fulfilment of the requirements for an MEd in the graduate school of Marietta College titled, “Working Mothers Vs Stay At Home Mothers: The Impact on Children.”

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