Tag: mum

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Current Affairs articles

Suicide: Hate the Sin, Not the Sinner!

If you are a Barelwi and you always stick up for Barewlis, understand this isn’t Islam.
If you are a Deobandi and you always stick up for Deobandis, understand this isn’t Islam.
If you are a Salafi and always stick up for Salafis, understand this isn’t Islam.
This is called following your ego, and we have many “ego bhais” in ALL societies. 
The same applies to Indians and Pakistanis who stick up for their own… follow Islam and don’t get so so defensive!

If Ulama showed a bit of humility then I wouldn’t need to take to such platforms, we always believe in telling people privately, unfortunately, they don’t always listen. Shame on some Pakistanis and Pakistani Ulama who showed a lack of sympathy towards the poor girl who committed suicide, Ayesha Banu, from India (Allah have mercy upon her).


We all know suicide is Haram. The video of Mufti Tariq Masood saheb where he says, “don’t have mercy upon her” further he make jokes about suicide was TOTALLY insensitive. We all know Mufti Tariq Saheb is very humorous, but so is Mufti Ismail Menk. But the video of Mufti Ismail Menk was far more sensitive and considerate and heartfelt. Defensive Pakistanis said that Mufti Tariq Saheb is humourous, I am sorry Mufti Ismail Menk is far more humorous? He didn’t laugh, nor make jokes, he didn’t even smile. He said we need to look at Ayesha’s background and what led to her suicide. Mufti Tariq didn’t do this, he didn’t even know if the story was true? (A quick google search would have helped mufti saheb). As Ulama, before we do a lecture on ANY topic we are told to do research and motala. Something as sensitive as suicide needed background information on the girl and her story. If you don’t have time, don’t do a bayan.


I have followed Mufti Tariq Masood for years, he is a good speaker. But the reason I’ve had to point this out is due to Pakistanis and Pakistani ulama who are pure and plain defensive. They can’t accept a word against their ‘pukstani ulama’. That’s not following Islam, that is following your ego. I actually don’t follow Mufti Ismail Menk, but we give credit where it’s due, Alhumdu Lillah!

The second category of people I want to call out are the narrowminded Deobandis. They have totally dismissed Mufti Menk’s video, you know why? “He’s not one of us….” Astagh firullah! Disgusting…

“Accept the truth even, if it is from a child.” Fudhayl ibn Ayadh RH.


I am also Deobandi, but we cannot be so narrowminded. Our true akabir and pious predecessors did not ignore the truth when it reached them, they were humble and accepted, even if they were wrong (naturally, they also made mistakes).
A girl lost her life due to domestic violence and long-suffering. And all Pakistani ulama can do is massage their ego? “We are right…” I just hope it’s not because she was “Indian.” Pakistanis pipe up very quickly against Gujaratis and Gujarati racism… we accept that there is racism in Gujaratis. But dear Pakistanis, you also need to accept this maxim, “if you want to criticise others, learn to accept criticism.”

Ismail ibn Nazir Satia (one who is in dire need of Allah’s forgiveness, mercy and pleasure).

29 Rajab 1442

Categories
Poems

The Empty Chair…

Another day, news of yet another death,

Once again, we hear of someone who has just drawn their final breath.

For those of us left behind, it seems so surreal,

Struggling to cope with the immense loss we feel.

And although it may seem like at times the darkness is too much,

As we long to see our loved ones again, just a glimpse or a touch.

A hug from a parent, a smile from the Mrs, the voice of a husband offering to do the dishes, 

The words of wisdom of a grandma that you’d wish you’d wrote down,

Or the sound of laughter of a child who is no longer around.

None of these people can ever be brought back,

And yet for each of them to live on you don’t need a memorial plaque.

Live each day to the fullest, do good and make them proud,

Show people around you, you love them, don’t wait till they’re in a shroud!

And send them gifts each day for that’s all that the departed now from us need,

Intend to share the reward every time you do a good deed.

They say time is a healer but I don’t know if that’s true,

All I can promise you is that Allah will get you through! 

Written by @thetalentedteacher_

1 Jumada al-Awwal 1442

Categories
Muslim women

Happy Mother’s Day…NOT!

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
mom
بسم الله الرحمن 
الرحيم
Each month yet I hold out hope,
Although as time goes on it gets harder to cope.
I’m more than conscious of my biological clock ticking away,
Without receiving a message from yet another friend to say.
They’re expecting and will be joining the exclusive motherhood club soon,
Don’t get me wrong for them I am over the moon.
My tears are for myself, struggling to deal with the idiots who pry,
Asking if it’s my fault or his and why!
Followed by unhelpful comments like ‘you can have one of mine’,
Or ‘just relax it’ll happen’ or to ‘God’s will just resign’.
I’m well aware thanks – that it will happen if it’s meant to be,
And no it’s not as simple as IVF or adoption just to get a mini-me.
The journey to motherhood for some like me is a roller coaster ride,
And days like Mother’s Day… all I want to do is hide.
And yes of all the things that I have- I should be grateful for I know,
But that doesn’t always help to ease the pain that’s for sure.
So this Mother’s Day when you are celebrating,
Spare a thought for those of us who are still waiting.
To one day be a part of the exclusive “motherhood club,”
And in the meantime with the ‘you don’t have kids so you wouldn’t understand’ line do not snub!
Muslim Sister (Allah grant her mercy and forgiveness)
Categories
Poems

Dear Mum and Dad,

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

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Dear Mum and Dad,
Do you remember the day I was born?
I guess since then quite a bit I have grown.
Drink milk, sleep and cry is all I would do,
And of course keep filling my nappy up too!
Since then things have changed and I’ve gone big now,
And I’m sure you’ll agree that its amazing how,
Allah turned me from a tiny baby who knew nothing at all,
Who might one day among fellow humans stand tall.
I say might because I’m a bit like a seed you see,
Nurtured well it has the potential to develop into a strong tree.
That has strong roots firmly anchored deep into the land,
So that the winds of change over time it is able to withstand.
Have you done that Mum and Dad nurtured me good?
And I don’t mean just to have given me clothes, toys and food?
As I said I’ like a plant I’m going to grow anyway,
But whether or not that’s a wild, straggly, useless one in that you have a say.
Allah has made you responsible to teach me what is wrong and right,
Of this sometimes it seems that you tend to lose sight.
How is it that you can shout at me for losing something new till your blue in the face,
Yet when I miss my Fajr everyday, of any anger, I see no trace.
When there’s a million things like the washing and ironing for you to do,
You stick me in front of the TV, out of your way so that your chores you can get through.
Don’t get me wrong Mum I do have fun, cartoons I do like to see,
But Mawlana at Mosque tells me TV is bad, so you don’t half confuse me!
I’m sure being a parent is a hard job, but there is help for you, you know,
If you follow the Prophet’s SAW example you won’t go wrong, that’s for sure!
Anonymous
Categories
Muslim women

Dear Mother: Why the double standards?

Written by Nadira Chhipa
dhikr-4
Dear mother, when you shout for Safiyyah to help you cook and set the dinner table please remember to call Ridhwan to assist you aswel. How is he going to learn to serve himself if you have been serving him for two decades?
Dear mother,  when you scream at Fatima for not making her bed or for throwing her wet towel on her bedroom floor please remember that 5 minutes ago you were waiting for Suhail to wake up so you could clean his room which looked like a tornado hit it. How is he going to learn to tidy up his personal space if you keep doing it for him?
Dear mother, when you check Halimahs phone as you have become suspicious of her spending too much time texting please remember to also ask Idrees to hand his phone over for you to examine. Why is he allowed to be on his phone 24/7 without you becoming suspicious?
Dear mother, when Amina hands over her report card to you and your face saddens with disappointment as she scored two Bs please  look closely at Ahmeds report card as he did not even achieve a single A, yet he was congratulated for passing. How would he improve if you do not encourage him to do better?
Dear mother, when you angrily question  Habiba for arriving at home five minutes late from campus please give Hameeed a call and ask him why is he two hours late. How would he learn to respect and value boundaries if you do not set any for him?
Dear mother, when you yell at Aliya for not attending family functions with you please ask Ali to accompany you to the next family gathering as well. How would he recognise and socialise with your family if he is allowed to stay at home alone all the time?
Dear mother, when you advise Faheema about her duties at home after marriage, her responsibilities as well her loyalties after Nikah,  towards her husband and his family please give Faraz the same advice.  How will he know how to assist his wife, respect his in laws, be a responsible husband, father and son in law if you do not advise him?
Dear mother, when you reprimand Hannah for raising her voice or back chatting when she is angry please do not ignore Hamzah’s disrespectful behaviour and anger control issues. How would he learn to control his anger, be gentle, kind and caring if you do not acknowledge his faults?
Dear mother, when you speak to Naeema about Zina, sexual abuse, rape, physical abuse, emotional abuse, relationships, drugs, bad influences as well as indulgences please do have that talk with Khalid. How would he learn to respect a woman’s body, mind and soul if you do not teach him. How would he learn to protect himself from evil if you do not teach him?
Dear mother, when you remind Raeesa to read her salah, fast in Ramadhan, cover her body, recite the Quran and Hadith please remind Muhammad to do the same. How would he become an asset to you as well as the Ummah if you do not inculcate the love for Islam in his heart?
Dear mother, remember the boy have been blessed with from Allah is your son today, a student of life tomorrow, a wonderful husband to a beautiful lady and an amazing father to your grandchildren in the future. Insha-Allah. Raise your sons to be independent and efficient, do not make your sons so dependent on you that they find themselves unable to cook, clean or take care of their daily chores without assistance. The Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W), mercy upon mankind yet he did his own chores. Why are we following a tradition and culture that cripples men by not allowing them to serve themselves. Today there are some men who will not even eat if their food is not cooked, served and dished out to them  into their plates. This is a sad reality of generation of boys who feel entitled to everything being done for them by the females of their household. This is a sad reason for the breakdown of many marriages as the husband  expects to be served by his wife just as he  was served all his life by his mother and sisters.
Dear mother, let us change this mindset, let us raise respectful, responsible , successful, understanding, caring, loyal, humble and kind men who will be a means of comfort, peace, happiness. Ameen.
Dear mother, do not set double standards as this will cause chaos and destruction in your home.
Dear mother, we have the best example, let us raise our sons in accordance with the beautiful Sunnah of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W).
Dear mother, let us raise good men.
May Allah bless us mothers with strength, love, wisdom, patience and understanding always -Ameen.
Nadira Chhipa
1 Rabiul Awwal 1439