Tag: God

Categories
Current Affairs articles

Interfaith Dialogue

“We can only live in peace and harmony by talking to each other and learning about each other.”

The phenomenon of ‘Interfaith Dialogue’ has gained importance in the world for decades due to many reasons; therefore it is an urgent need of the time to scrutinise it under the lens of Islamic Shariah.

An essential principle that must be understood before understanding the reasoning here is that the concern of scholars when giving a verdict on something is the reality of the nature of that problem at hand; not what it is called. An example is Ginger Beer. It does not matter that it has the word ‘beer’ in its name. If it does not fulfill the conditions of a prohibited drink, then it is permissible. It would be a clear error if someone were to conclude that this drink is prohibited because its name resembles that of a prohibited drink. Similarly, an Islamic bank may call something ‘interest-free’. If the conditions of interest in Islām are fulfilled, then that transaction is prohibited, even if the company has used the term ‘interest-free’. So names and titles should not deceive us into rushing into decisions. This is a well-known fiqh principle agreed upon by the scholars. Similarly, is the word interfaith, before venturing into the topic, it would be better to first see how the concept of ‘Interfaith Dialogue’ is defined by scholars.

http://www.deoband.net/blogs/the-phenomenon-interfaith-dialogue-islamic-shariah

The term interfaith dialogue refers to cooperative, constructive and positive interaction between people of different faiths at both the individual and institutional levels.[1] It refers to a meeting of qualified members of different faiths in a formal setting to discuss religious opinions and practices they have in common, usually with the intention of expanding their common ground.[2]

Similarly, there is another term ‘Interreligious dialogue’ which is seen as a challenging process by which adherents of differing religious traditions encounter each other in order to break down the walls of division between themselves.[3]

In this way ‘interfaith dialogue’ is distinct from syncretism or alternative religion. But, this term is actually used by different people in different contexts as per their motives and vested interests. This is the reason that ‘Interfaith dialogue’ is criticised by some religious leaders as a conspiracy designed to merge all religions into one. Certain individuals and communities fear the loss or weakening of their religious identities as a result of engaging in dialogue and interacting with followers of other faiths.[4]

Background of Interfaith Dialogue

Understanding the people of other faiths around you has been a natural process of human life as no human society can live in peace until it behaves tolerantly with his neighbours. However, at some juncture of history, there have been organized efforts to bring different religions closer to each other or even to intermix them. The Emperor Akbar (1542-1605), for example, established Deen-e-Ilahi in Mughal India, a diverse nation with people of various faith backgrounds, including Islam, Hinduism, Sikhism, and Christianity.[5]

Muslims, throughout their history, have been living with peace, tolerance, and coexistence along with people of other faiths. The Muslim societies have always observed religious pluralism and the people of other faiths have always lived under their rule very peacefully and amicably. Right from the era of the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) up to the Ottoman Caliphate and Mughal Empire in India Muslims provide historical examples of generally peaceful coexistence with peoples of different faiths. The Jews, Christians, and other non-Muslim communities enjoyed full rights and lived shoulder-to-shoulder with Muslims.[6]

The wave of religious hatred and intolerance erupted after the Western powers started occupying and colonising the Muslim lands. In order to establish their sovereignty they sowed the seeds of differences among the communities of different faiths and beliefs.[7]

It was the time when the need for interfaith dialogue was felt as the world was made so chaotic by the struggle for powers, domination of materialism, and lack of spirituality. Later after the colonial powers shrank to their holes and much later when the Cold War between the US and the USSR calmed down, Islam again emerged as the first enemy of the West. The situation reached its height on 9/11 when the US was attacked by so-called Muslim terrorists. This state of affairs led many to think that Muslim and Western civilizations were going to clash.

At this juncture in time, the need for interfaith dialogue resurfaced with even greater gravity as this was the only way to avoid civilization clashes and prevent the world from destruction.

Concerns about the Motive of Interfaith Dialogue

Dialogue between individuals and communities of different faiths is a natural phenomenon that takes place at stages of multi-faith communities. The process of dialogue forces people to examine and reconfirm their own religious identity and strengthen their own beliefs while respecting those of others with patience and dignity.

Globalisation and the invention of modern communication facilities have reduced the world to a village and the fastest transportation means provided an opportunity for people to interact with each other as never before. In this scenario, interfaith dialogue can provide a platform to understand and cooperate with each other and move forward peacefully.

The prevalent idea of interfaith dialogue is based upon the following principles: followers of all religions are free to lead lives in accordance with their own beliefs; and the moral values inherent in all religions — especially patience, tolerance, and coexistence – are respected.

And in order to cooperate with the idea, in July 2008, a historic interfaith dialogue conference was inaugurated by King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia in Madrid, the capital of Spain, with the objective of solving world problems through concord instead of conflict. The conference was attended by religious leaders of different faiths such as Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism and Taoism.[8]

However, there are serious concerns about the motives and hidden agenda under the banner of ‘interfaith dialogue’. According to some, this might be a conspiracy of the enemies of Islam to weaken the attachment of Muslims to their religion as they see it as the biggest hurdle in the way of their imperialism expansions. Usually, such dialogues are arranged with so-called Muslim intellectuals who are not firm in their religious knowledge and belief and thus fall prey to the hidden agenda.[9]

These concerns are intensified by the dual policies of the Western powers and the contradictions between their words and deeds. On one side they supervise interfaith dialogue and on the other hand, they attack Islam and Muslims. The Prophet Muhammad and the Quran are blasphemed in their lands and they are not ready to punish the culprits. This has created doubts in Muslim minds that these ‘staged’ interfaith dialogues are not political strategies to serve their own ends.

Islam and Interfaith Dialogue

Nevertheless, the phenomenon of interfaith dialogue, whatever the motive behind may be, cannot be ignored by Muslims. If such dialogues will not be attended by proficient Muslim scholars it might be hijacked by incompetent persons who will consequently cause harm to Islam and Muslims. Therefore, it is the need of the hour for competent Ulama to take the lead and represent the true face of Islam. It is not only requirement of the time which cannot be overlooked; rather it poses great challenge that they have to face boldly.

In order to understand the view of Islamic Shariah about ‘interfaith dialogue’, it is imperative to learn the basic principles in this regard:

(1) Islam is the only Religion Acceptable to Allah: Though all religions of the world claim to be true, it is only Islam that stands as the final and perfect religion established on strong evidence and solid foundations. As Muslims, we must have a firm belief that Islam is the only religion acceptable to Allah and it is the only way of life that can guarantee the success of human beings in this world and their salvation in the hereafter. As the Quran says:

{إِنَّ الدِّينَ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ الإِسْلامُ}

“Truly, the (recognised) religion in the sight of Allah is Islam.” [3:19]

{وَمَنْ يَبْتَغِ غَيْرَ الإِسْلامِ دِيناً فَلَنْ يُقْبَلَ مِنْهُ وَهُوَ فِي الْآخِرَةِ مِنَ الْخَاسِرِينَ}

“Whoever seeks a faith other than Islam, it will never be accepted from him, and he, in the Hereafter, will be among the losers.” [3:85]

(2) Syncretism or unification of religions is absolutely unacceptable in Islam: The ridiculous theory of Syncretism or unification of religions is unacceptable in Islam for reasons. The foremost among them is that this is unnatural and at no time in the history of mankind have they been adhering to one set of beliefs. It is so destined by Allah that people will never be converted into a single community, as He says:

{ولو شاء ربك لجعل الناس أمة واحدة ولا يزالون مختلفين}

 “Had your Lord willed, He would have made all the people a single community. But, they will continue in their differences.”  [11:119]

(3) Coexistence but not Compromise: The interfaith dialogue should be free from any kind of compromise on the part of religious rulings even to minor issues. A tolerance that prevents from speaking the truth or favour un-Islamic thoughts cannot be allowed. The Quran describes that the disbelievers wish Muslims to be flexible, but it is unacceptable:

{ودوا لوتدھن فیدھنون}

“They wish that you become flexible (in your faith) so that they should become flexible.” [68:9]

{ولا تركنوا إلى الذين ظلموا فتمسكم النار}
“And do not incline towards the wrongdoers, lest the Fire should catch you.” [11:113]

The chapter al-Kafiroon (109) from the Quran was revealed in response to the proposal of the disbelievers to strike a compromise deal seeking Muslims to worship their Gods and binding them to worship Allah in return, but the Quran very emphatically rejected it and said:

“Say, O disbelievers, I do not worship that which you worship, nor do you worship the One whom I worship.  And neither I am going to worship that which you have worshipped, nor will you worship the One whom I worship. For you is your faith, and for me, my faith.” [109:2-6][10]

Common Grounds for Interfaith Dialogue

Dialogue, or peaceful negotiation, is the path prescribed by Islam. The Holy Quran and the Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) set standards for dialogue with people of other faith. The Quran encouraged Muslims to talk to the Jews and Christian on matters which are common:

{قُلْ يَا أَهْلَ الْكِتَابِ تَعَالَوْا إِلَى كَلِمَةٍ سَوَاءٍ بَيْنَنَا وَبَيْنَكُمْ أَلاَّ نَعْبُدَ إِلاَّ اللَّهَ وَلا نُشْرِكَ بِهِ شيئاً وَلا يَتَّخِذَ بَعْضُنَا بَعْضاً أَرْبَاباً مِنْ دُونِ اللَّهِ فَإِنْ تَوَلَّوْا فَقُولُوا اشْهَدُوا بِأَنَّا مُسْلِمُونَ} [آل عمران: 64]

“Say, O people of the Book, come to a word common between us and between you, that we worship none but Allah, that we associate nothing with Him and that some of us do not take others as Lords instead of Allah. Then, should they turn back, say, .Bear witness that we are Muslims.” [3:65] 

The Prophet Muhammad SAW advocated reconciliation with other religions. In Makkah in 615 CE, he sent Muslims fleeing persecution from the Meccans to find refuge with the Christian king of Abyssinia, current-day Ethiopia, as a signal of mutual trust with Christianity. Later when he migrated to Madinah, he signed a peace treaty with the Jewish tribes and later with the tribes of Makkah in 6th year of Hijra. He also had religious discussions with the Christians of Najran in his holy mosque. He also wrote letters to the rulers in and around Arabia in order to convey the message of Islam.

So, following the footsteps shown by the Quran and Hadith, Muslims can engage themselves in dialogue with the people of other faiths on the issues that form a common ground for them and which may help in promoting peace and enable Muslims to represent Islam to others.

(a) There is no Compulsion in Religion

First of all, Islam rejected forced conversion and gave people the full right to freely choose what they adhere to. Islam regarded freedom of expression as a birthright of human beings and termed force and oppression as unfair and forbidden. The Quran very clearly declares:

“There is no compulsion in Faith. The correct way has become distinct from the erroneous. Now, whoever rejects the Taghut (the Rebel, the Satan) and believes in Allah has a firm grasp on the strongest ring that never breaks. Allah is All-Hearing, All-Knowing.” [2:257]

(b) Tolerance Towards other Religions

People have differences in belief, religion, culture etc, but while following their religion, they have to have mutual respect for others and discover a common bond between them, which shows them all to be human beings. Islam did not create any ill will and hatred in its followers about other religions and their leaders; rather it pushed forth their love and strengthened their relationship with other religions by various means. Sometimes, it admitted the greatness of the leaders and prophets of other communities saying:

“We did raise a messenger among every people, with the message.” [16:36]

It also forbade Muslims to blaspheme the sacred personalities of other religions saying: “Do not revile those whom they invoke other than Allah, lest they should revile Allah in transgression in ignorance.” [6:109] 

The Quran presented a model of high-grade tolerance that it regarded all the prophets and messengers of the Jews and the Christians as true prophets sent down by Allah. The Quran says:

“Surely, We have revealed to you as We have revealed to Noah and to the prophets after him.” [4:163]

And, it regarded the original books believed by the Jews and the Christians as divine revelation from Allah:

“Surely we have sent down the Torah, in which there was guidance and light.” (5:44) “We gave him the Injil (Gospel) having guidance and light therein, and confirming the Torah that was (revealed) before it; guidance and a lesson for the God-fearing.” (5:46)

Thus it extended the hand of friendship towards Judaism and Christianity which were the well-known and prominent religions of the age. As far as other religions and nations are concerned, it declared that there were prophets from Allah to other nations and communities:

“And there was no community without a Warner having passed among them.” (35:24)


Concisely, it secured the honour of the sacred figures of other religions in the eyes of Muslims forever and stopped Muslims absolutely from abusing any religious leader. Thus, it established the foundation of universal brotherhood, sympathy, and tolerance which was extinct before the advent of Islam.

(c) Moral and Ethical Values 

The moral and ethical values like justice and fairness, tolerance and patience, and good conduct have been much emphasized by Islam. These values can form a common ground for interfaith dialogue. 

Here are some references from the Quran:

Justice and transparency: “But if you judge, judge between them with justice. Surely, Allah loves those who do justice.” (5:42) At another place it says: “Allah does not forbid you as regards those who did not fight you on account of faith, and did not expel you from your homes, that you do good to them, and deal justly with them. Surely Allah loves those who maintain justice.” (60:8) 

Fulfilling Promises: “And fulfil the covenant, surely the covenants shall be asked about (on the Day of Reckoning).” (17:34) It asserted: “So, fulfil the treaty with them up to their term, surely Allah loves the God-Fearing.”  (9:4)

Good conduct: “Good and evil are not equal. Repel (evil) with what is best, and you will see that the one you had mutual enmity with him will turn as if he were a close friend.” (41:34)

“Allah does not forbid you as regards those who did not fight you on account of faith, and did not expel you from your homes, that you do good to them, and deal justly with them. Surely Allah loves those who maintain justice.” (60:8)

“The recompense of evil is evil like it. Then the one who forgives and opts for compromise has his reward undertaken by Allah. Surely, He does not like the unjust.” (42:40)

(d) Dialogue as a means of Dawah 

Dialogue can be utilized as one of the best means to convey the message of Islam to people of other faiths. Nowadays, non-Muslims have many misconceptions about Islam and Muslims which are caused by their insufficient knowledge of Islam. So this opportunity can be utilized to remove the misconceptions and to transmit the true spirit of Islam to the world. Islam is based on the principle of dawah which is another name for peaceful negotiation. The Quran itself describes how to make this dialogue fruitful:

“Invite (people) to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good counsel, and argue with them in the best of manners. Surely, your Lord knows best the one who deviates from His way, and He knows best the ones who are on the right path.”  [16:125]

Islam asserts that our conversation with others should be carried out wisely and in the most gracious way. Listening to their objections, the point should be made in such a way that appeals to their minds.

Conclusion & Summary

To sum up, these are the main points which should be kept in mind in order to understand the concept of Islam about interfaith dialogue:

·         Islam favours divine revolution by striving for a society in which spiritual, ethical, and human values are cherished. Islam advocates an atmosphere where peace, tolerance, and respect prevail. It wishes to create an atmosphere where disputes are resolved without the use of violence. This is the desired world of Islam and such a world can be established only through peaceful dialogue.

·         The phenomenon of interfaith dialogue cannot be ignored and left for incompetent individuals and institutions to misrepresent Islam and Muslims; rather it should be headed by proficient Muslim scholars.

·         Interfaith dialogue should be fitted in the framework of Islamic Shariah and no compromise should be made on the part of religious fundamentals and its teachings.

·         Through interfaith dialogue, the common grounds of ethical and social values can be explored which help in promoting peace, harmony, and tolerance.

·         Interfaith dialogue forums should be used by competent Muslim scholars to represent the true face of Islam and to remove the misconceptions spread against Islam.


[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interfaith_dialog
[2] What is Interfaith Dialogue? http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110315104231AAnMRJV
[3] Sandi Fults, What is Interreligious Dialogue? http://globalfaithinaction.org/what-is-interreligious-dialogue
[4] Qazi Abdul Qadeer Khamosh, Conspiracy or cure? An Islamic perspective on interfaith dialogue, 27 April 2010 http://www.commongroundnews.org/article.php?id=27696
[5] Shaikh Muhammad Ikram, Rood-e-Kausar, p 85-131, New Delhi 2003
[6] For details see Civilization of the Arabs by Gustav Le Bon
[7] Maulana Hussain Ahamd Madani, Naqsh-e-Hayat, Deoband
[8]  Saudi Gazette, 17 July 2008, http://www.saudigazette.com.sa/index.cfm?method=home.regcon&contentID=2008071712004
[9] Mufti Rasheed Ahmad Balakoti, Monthly Bayyinat, Sep 2008, Jamia Banuria Karachi
[10] Muhammad bin Jareer Tabri, Jami’ al-Bayan fi Tafsir al-Quran, 22/662

Presented in a seminar on “Shariah Methods of Interfaith Dialogue” dated April 22-24, 2013 at Seminar Hall, Dept of Arabic, University of Delhi, Delhi. The Seminar was Organized by:
ISESCO, Rabat, Morocco
In Collaboration & Coordination of:
Islamic Fiqh Academy (INDIA), New Delhi
Dept of Arabic, University of Delhi, Delhi

Fatwa: https://islamqa.org/hanafi/daruliftaa-birmingham/245313/engaging-in-interfaith-meetings-to-stop-the-violence-in-south-africa/

Categories
Current Affairs articles

Twenty Lessons from 2020

Ali (Allah be pleased with him) once was asked: “How have you recognised your God?”

He (Allah be pleased with him) answered: “I recognised God through revoking the determinations and breaking the intentions. When I determined and I was prevented from achieving my determination, and when I intended and fate contradicted my intention, I realised that the Administrator was other than me.”

And so this uneventful year draws to a close and I find myself thinking how much history 2020 made. Be it the pandemic, racial tensions or presidential campaigns across the pond, 2020 has been one long rollercoaster.

Life is full of surprises and if anything, this year has shone a light on how amazingly resilient Allah has created us all. Just when we are about to put our feet up and become a little complacent with our routine in life, the setting suddenly changes and we’re forced to recompose, reshuffle the pieces and refocus the lens a little. And in the midst of this restructure, our unsteady walk exposes us, we trip, we fall and we fail…but we brush ourselves off and stand back up. A quote of JK Rowling comes to mind that ‘It is impossible to live without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.’ This year has been a year of ‘falling’ for many of us but with the tradition of reflection (Muhasabah – account ourselves to ourselves) maybe we can transform the ‘falls’ into life-changing goals.

The biggest lesson that was manifested this year is that ‘Allah never tests a soul more than it can bear’ (Quran, 2:286). There are so many beautiful lessons to learn from this verse alone that could put this whole year into perspective for many of us. This world is a test and each and every one of us will be tested in various ways. A utopian society does not exist and 2020 has very clearly shown us that. Once we truly understand this, we can start to formulate that as Muslims, it is crucial we believe that Allah tests us to make us, not break us. When total fear ensued in March, Allah’s powerful promise in the Quran should have been our zen and reassurance amidst the chaos. Our goal for 2021 is to place our complete trust in Him SWT and His plan. He SWT doesn’t leave us, but we leave Him. He doesn’t move an inch away from us and is closer to us than our jugular vein.

As Ramadhan drew closer and it dawned on us that the Masajid would remain closed and Taraweeh Salah will have to be performed in the homes, a heart-breaking sadness cloaked us. Who will be leading? What will be prayed? How much Qur’an do we know? Will it even feel like Ramadhan? As these questions were being discussed in every household up and down the country, a new lesson was emanating. Alhamdulillah, many homes echoed with the confident recitations of their Huffadh but the hard truth is that there still remained a huge number of us who hadn’t prioritised reading and learning the Quran enough to be able to stand up and confidently take on the musalla. We were always so reliant on the Ulama and the Huffadh that we had become complacent with our own learning journey.  This reminded me of how I will be alone in my grave, just me and my deeds – no Hafidh to fall back on, no Alim to rely on, no one. The closure of the Masajid and the emptiness that came with it threw us into frantic jeopardy but ‘A believer is never stung from the same hole twice’ (Hadith) and so Ramadhan 2020 taught us to never stop learning. Know 10 Surahs from Juz Amma? Make it your goal to learn another 10 this year. Learn Surah Yaseen. Learn Surah Mulk. Learn Surah Rahman. Never stop learning. Create an insatiable hunger for learning. When you get to the end of your life, you want to be able to tell yourself that I spent every year of my life learning something new from the Qur’an and didn’t stay stuck on ‘Madrasah Mode’ from my teenage years.

2020 brought out some of the ugliest faces yet the most soul-soothing actions. Whilst on the one hand racism hit another high, unity in the face of tragedy outshone. The pandemic may have thrust us into isolation but it brought a sense of togetherness that was not seen before. Communities came together, putting aside creed, caste and religion, to help the elderly, vulnerable, isolated with food packages, medicines, shopping and that’s just the tangible needs. Neighbours checked in on one another, more phone calls were made to friends and family, messages dropped in asking how we’re doing. Let’s make it our mission to continue this fulfilling deed. Send that text message, make that two-minute phone call, and don’t just call someone when you need them. Mother Teresa once said, ‘Loneliness is a terrible poverty’ and there are millions of people suffering from that lack of friendship. In these difficult times, make someone feel heard. Our beloved Prophet ﷺ said, ‘You won’t be able to take care of everyone financially; instead, let your cheerful face and good manners take care of all of them’ (Musnad Bazzar).

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is plannn-1024x1024.jpg


Now we are at the suggestive, somewhat enticing, light at the end of the tunnel stage of the pandemic, we are tested once again. The vaccine is available and whatever side of the fence you sit on, remember that Allah is the Controller. Everything truly belongs to Him alone and he holds authority over everything and everyone. One Quran verse frequently came to mind at different times this year.  Allah says, ‘لمن الملك اليوم، لله الواحد القهار ‘For whom is the dominion today? For Allah, the One, the Supreme’ (Quran, 40:16).  Allah gives and Allah takes. Let’s not talk as if this year has been a year of just the revolutionising scientists against the evil virus, forgetting all along that Allah is the Master, the Withholder, and the Bestower of all things.

It has been a challenging year but for the intelligent believer, no challenge comes without changes.  We may want to be quick to forget all that 2020 put on our plate but let’s remember the lessons it taught us and the goals it guided us to make. 

Constantly ask Allah for ease

Ismail ibn Nazir Satia (one who is in dire need of Allah’s forgiveness, mercy and pleasure)

15 Jamada al-Awwal 1442

Categories
Muslim men

When You’re Gay and Muslim – Finding Allah’s Meaning in All of It

When You’re Gay and Muslim – Finding Allah’s Meaning in All of It

Waheed Jensen is a Muslim male in his mid 20’s, struggling in this world with being young, open-minded and gay, trapped in a global community of Muslims who claim to follow Islam but lack the application of its most basic tenets. Working to make the world a better place for Muslims and non-Muslims alike. A version of this article appeared on Altmuslimah and VirtualMosque.com.

Screenshot_2017-11-19-14-54-20.png

Ever since I began trying to understand life, one of the crippling realizations about the Muslim communities I reached was this: We tend to bury our problems in a dark hole, dismiss them and hope they will never come back to haunt us. But they often do. We overlook many of our familial, social and cultural issues until they multiply and are about to explode in our faces; at that point, we are notorious for pointing fingers and crying over spilt milk.

Our room is filled with elephants that we barely have an inch to stand, yet we remain oblivious and hope things will get better.

Allow me today to describe one of those elephants. A strange elephant. Allow me to dissect it and hand it over to you, that you may ponder and hopefully open your heart and mind.

Let me start off by saying these three words: I am gay.

Even though you do not know who I am, and maybe the mere fact that I just came out to you right this instant may offend you, confuse you or drive you away from reading the remainder of this article. Let me assure you, this is not one of those articles that tries to promote homosexuality or deliver an airbrushed and Islam-oriented version of all those pro-homosexuality arguments.

Yes, I am gay and I am Muslim, and I am here to offer you a small glimpse into a journey of struggles, passions and hopes. I do not intend to delve into the story of Prophet Lut and his people, talk about the evolution and progression of the LGBT community during the past century, present arguments for or against same-sex relations, or even try to prove my own opinion. I really hope you can read and reflect, and I pray that this small effort of bringing the picture a little closer to you might make the slightest bit of difference in raising awareness, and hopefully open healthy discussions on the topic.

I wholeheartedly believe, in concordance with Islam and its teachings, that sodomy is a major sin. I am against same-sex marriage and intercourse, and I am not in favour of any progressive movements that attempt to explain Quranic verses about People of Lut or sodomy from a modernist or post-modernist approach – in other words, arguments that try to find a leeway and claim that that is a legitimate Islamic perspective.

I hope that this will not drive away readers who are excited about the topic but may be uncomfortable with my statements. I have adopted this position after years of introspection, research, counselling and personal prayer, and I am coming forth today to share with you some of those experiences.

Why Am I Different?

Homosexuality has been present in humanity for centuries, and for as long as it has been there, homosexuals have been struggling with themselves, their families and society at large. To me personally, there was always something different. I could feel it in me from a very young age. Something that I could not explain to others because I thought they would not understand, let alone accept, or maybe because I was too young and immature at the time that I was not entirely sure what ‘it’ was.

It crystallized around puberty; when all the raging hormones started kicking in, those tendencies became obvious. And then the real struggle began.

The struggle led to an explosion of questions. “Why am I different? Why am I not like the rest of my friends or family members? Is this even normal? Am I sick?” Not finding the proper answers, I kept on putting these questions aside. “Maybe it’ll go away. Maybe it’s just a phase.” In my case, it never went away and it was not a phase.

With time I learned that this is something abhorred religiously, culturally and socially. So I tried to adapt. “How do I balance between the feelings and tendencies I have with what my religion, culture and social norms dictate?” So I began a journey of self-exploration and interacting with others, learning from religion, media as well as prominent persons, like religious scholars and major social figures. My schemas kept changing, and I kept on adapting.

Many of us may be brave enough to rebel against what others seem to ‘dictate’ on us, while others suppress their urges, often hiding their identities from those closest to them, generally out of fear, or maybe because they are not just ready to come out yet. I belong to the latter group.

To this date, I have never had the courage to tell my parents or close family members, but I have come out to a close friend of mine a few months ago, and he was extremely supportive Alhamdulillah (all praises to Allah).

One of the most dangerous pitfalls I have personally experienced was thinking that God hated me. He was mad at me. “I must have done something wrong in my life to deserve this ‘punishment’… If God does not accept homosexuality, then why am I a homosexual?” Whether Muslim or not, people struggling in silence can be more prone to deviating to dangerous paths.

So, you find many struggling homosexuals also dealing with bullying, drinking problems, substance abuse, domestic violence, poor academic performance, career problems, pornography or sex addictions, sexually-transmitted diseases, mood disorders like depression and anxiety, and many other issues. (1) I had my own share of bullying, academic problems and mood disorders. Our struggles multiply with time, and many even contemplate suicide.

This is especially true in cases where the individual tries to discuss the issue – often it is just those desires or thoughts that are tackled, not the actual act – with his/her parents or family members who are not receptive to those ideas. If not shown sympathy, care and love, he/she is often shunned, harassed, scorned and sometimes even tortured.

A lot of gay men and women are forced into arranged marriages, taken to local Imams to ‘heal them from their calamity and wrath of God’, or even killed. (2) Some of them take their own lives by themselves. Others live in constant torment while some flee their homes and families in search for a more welcoming environment. That and many have not even yet engaged in any sexual acts whatsoever.

Why We Have Difficulty with Other Muslims

This is why I, along with many fellow homosexual Muslims, find the Western alternative very striking: It offers acceptance and understanding. Things that we dearly miss in our communities, even though we may realize deep down that there is something terribly wrong, the fact that there is someone who accepts us and fights for us and not against us is incredibly more appealing. When we try to talk to other Muslim seemingly-pious and God-conscious brothers and sisters about our sexuality and are shunned by their lack of empathy, respect and understanding, would you find it surprising that we take comfort in talking to non-religious people about our struggles in hopes to find an open mind and a loving heart?

Ironically, the spirit of Islam is all about empathy, tolerance and understanding, yet the practice of Islam carried out by many Muslims shows the opposite.

Trust me, I understand that it is a difficult topic to open up with others, especially people coming from conservative backgrounds. It is difficult news for you to receive, just as it is difficult for me to handle, let alone share with others. However, the fact that I choose to come out to specific people means that those people are exceptionally special to me. To us.

It takes a lot of courage, incredible determination and a full dose of anxiety and fear to even think about coming out to someone, that you can imagine the damage we have to endure when the other person dismisses us or shows no empathy or mercy. It seems like a lot to handle if you ask me.

I remember the first time I decided to come out to someone, I was going through an overwhelming period in my life, yet Alhamdulillah I had some seeds of piety and religiosity inside me. I was around 18, and he was a non-religious psychologist and counsellor. I went to an appointment with him, tried to beat around the bush but ultimately came out to him. And, he was accepting. Later on, I found out that many struggling homosexuals came to him for advice and counselling.

I was hoping that, with the aid of therapy, my orientation would change – this is scientifically known as reparative or conversion therapy; while many studies have been conducted on it and some patients have reported success, a great number of psychiatrists and counsellors have reported failure and more harm done to the patients than good. The progress of my visits culminated in him putting forward the idea of accepting who I am and going all the way with it – in other words, experience my entire sexuality without restraints.

At that point I was really uncomfortable with his proposal, as it was against my Islamic beliefs and my own virtues.

During that same period, I was doing my own reading and researching, trying to find a proper Islamic “solution,” crying for help and praying that I am guided to what Allah pleases. One of the most heartwarming responses was given by a psychiatrist who also has a profound knowledge of Islamic shariah (legal rulings). He was hosted on a TV show, and he was speaking so graciously, so open-mindedly, that his words hit the right chord and I was immediately awe-struck. I cried after finally having found an answer with which my heartfelt ease.

That was pure bliss, Alhamdulillah.

Why Am I Homosexual?

The gist of the talk is the following: Homosexuality as an orientation is a disorder in one’s fitrah (human nature and disposition). “Treatment” of such a disorder involves therapy, familial and social support, personal discipline and a whole lot of other things. However, this therapy, which is tailored on a case-by-case basis, may or may not work. The mode of therapy is different between individuals, just like every case of homosexuality is different between people.

Mind you, the term “therapy” here is used loosely to mean dealing with the issue from different aspects rather than reverting one’s sexual orientation.

If many of us, homosexuals, dive deeper into our childhood and upbringing, we can pinpoint certain events that have taken their toll on us one way or another. Many of us have experienced child abuse, be it sexual, physical or intense emotional abuse that was brutally damaging to our body and soul, or lived in dysfunctional families that ultimately caused a lot of psychological damage. (3)

I, for one, had my own share of psychological and sexual abuse as a child from people closest to me and witnessed intense domestic violence that crippled my mind for a decent period of time. Such events were so incredibly powerful that they became ingrained in my psyche and took their toll on my thinking and behaviour.

Others have been desensitized to issues related to sexuality and gender roles from a young age, that their perception of masculinity and femininity is quite erroneous. I can recall several stories of struggling homosexuals I know who grew up in homes where one parent was more dominant in their life (e.g. present most of the time while the other was absent, provided greater emotional, psychological and social support while the other did the exact the opposite), such that either parent’s gender became more dominant on their lives and personas, and hence their perception of gender and sexuality deviated from the normal.

It is worth noting, however, that many people grow up in normal environments with no such issues during childhood, yet end up finding themselves attracted to the same gender. So there is no discrete thumb rule or cause as to whether someone will end up identifying as a homosexual or a heterosexual. It is not a simple black or white situation.

In addition to the above, it has been asserted that there are other acquired causes – we are bombarded on a daily basis with sensual and sexually-explicit material, from billboards, magazines and newspaper articles, to online material on social media websites. Sex and sexuality are heavily emphasized in TV shows, readings and discussions, whether openly or not. We have become accustomed to seeing semi-naked and naked bodies, our concepts of beauty, femininity and masculinity have radically evolved over time and we have become desensitized to these matters. (4)

There is an unbelievable amount of time and resources spent on creating better bodies: muscular, dreamy and good-looking men, and gorgeous women with “perfect” facial and body features. In addition, many of the inter- and intra-gender boundaries have drastically changed over time. Taken together, these matters overwhelm the human mind, and the effects are undoubtedly palpable.

Again, these and countless other events affect people’s heart, mind, body and spirit differently. People struggle to cope in different ways. Some people, like myself and countless others, may eventually find themselves with a specific worldview, having had a culmination of experiences, as well as a specific orientation that may or may not be modifiable. Just like these examples are struggling in and of themselves, homosexual thoughts and tendencies are no less than struggles as well.

Will I Have a Partner in Life?

When I see married men and women sharing affection, enjoying companionship and raising children, it hurts. A lot. Not the jealous I-hope-they-lose-all-that kind, but the painful realization that this is not something I can ever attain. Because of my situation, my ibtila’ (struggle in life), the idea of marrying someone from the opposite sex is not practical at all or even fair for me or my potential spouse. Many shuyukh advice homosexuals to get married for their tendencies to dissolve; while this may work with a handful of people, a large number of us does not find it physically or mentally plausible.

Many of the things other people, including those shuyukh themselves, take for granted – like relationships, marriage and having children – are the exact things we struggle with day in and day out. Personally, and unlike Muslim heterosexuals, I do not have safe and lawful options through which I can channel and fulfil those desires. Therefore, I try my best to remain steadfast and struggle for the sake of Allah. If that is not incredible Jihad, I do not know what counts as such.

While it may seem unfair and even preposterous to some people to keep struggling and not fulfil our desires, especially in this time and age, that is where the beauty lies. Within Islam, we are not held accountable for our thoughts, feelings, desires and tendencies as long as we do not act upon them. There are three ideas worth mentioning here.

First, Allah has promised in the Quran that He “does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity” [2:286]. Taken in line with Islamic teachings, this means that Allah knows how painful my struggle is and knows that I can handle it. Every time I ponder upon this idea, I am overwhelmed with incredible awe and gratitude. Of all people across centuries, He has chosen specific people for this particular test. Indeed, life is nothing but a few years and the True Life is in the Hereafter, so no matter how agonizing the struggle is, there will be an end to it.

Second, there is an immense reward and unimaginable blessings, both in this life and the Hereafter, by staying true to God’s decree and struggling for His sake. The greater the struggle, the more the rewards in sha Allah (God willing).

Third, and just like the popular saying goes, “when God closes one door, He opens another.” So, if issues like intimacy and procreation may seem like dead ends for Muslim homosexuals, we find openings in other aspects of life. Many homosexuals across history have been known for incredible gifts in writing, public speaking, music, cinema, scientific discoveries, literature and art. (5) Studies have reported that homosexuals exhibit high levels of empathy and compassion compared to heterosexuals. (6)

Because we have suffered and are constantly struggling, we have big hearts that know no boundaries. If we utilize our God-given gifts wisely and for the greater good, we can do wonders inshaAllah.

We All are Trying to Find Answers

Of course, there are Muslim homosexuals and pro-gay rights advocates who adopt a completely different perspective. Some try to balance between their religious duties while keeping in line with their orientation; in other words, they carry out their desires yet remain true to their duties. Others denounce Islamic rules altogether arguing that in modern times, such rules do not apply, hence they call for a reformation in Islamic laws taken for granted as solid foundations of religion.

Others are still struggling between balancing Islamic law and their own sexuality, searching for answers that provide them with ultimate satisfaction.

I am in no way trying to prove myself right and others wrong. This article is solely intended to highlight some of the struggles I go through as a Muslim homosexual, and I have taken the liberty at some points to speak on behalf of fellow struggling homosexuals because of our shared tribulations. Whatever your position is on this matter, I respect you and love you as a human being, your desires are legitimate and in no way make you less of a human being.

However, based on my beliefs, I do not accept specific actions that you may do which go against Islamic law. And there again, you are no less of a human being, and I still respect you as an individual. This falls at the heart of Islam – if someone like me who is struggling with his/her own desires can adopt such a stance, then so can everyone else. Maybe if we focus less on demonizing other people and concentrate more on helping one another, things would start to change for the best.

If you are a homosexual reading this, please know that my heart is with you. I of all people understand the daily struggles you are going through, and I salute your bravery and high spirit. Please remember that Allah is Merciful and Forgiving, no matter how much people tell you otherwise. Stay strong, and if you ever fall into the traps of Shaytan (the devil), repent to the Almighty with a pure heart and know that He accepts and welcomes the sincere. Pray to remain steadfast. Fasting is a powerful weapon so try your best to fast regularly.

Also, try to do sports and channel your energy in healthy ways. Surround yourself with the good company of pious people, and keep daily companionship of His Book. Pursue a higher purpose in life, for you are already on a high track. Trust me, I understand that the struggles may reach excruciating levels – it is at those moments that our inner cores are tested.

Make your struggles entirely for His sake, and they will be worth it. You will come out stronger and braver than before. With today’s explosion of sexuality and acceptance of same-sex relations, do not swallow the bait. Keep yourself in the company of Him for that is all that ultimately matters.

If you are a heterosexual reading this and assuming you may be uncomfortable with such a topic, I understand that this may be overwhelming for you at first glance. Take it easy on yourself, and certainly take it easy on others. We all have our own struggles, so let us make this journey we call life a little bit less difficult for one another. Let us shift our focus from pointing out each other’s faults and instead work together for more empathy, compassion and love.

There is a difference between respecting someone and accepting his/her actions; the former must be there at all times. If we disagree or have different lifestyles, and certainly if we make mistakes, please do not judge us. Bear with us. Listen to us, be there for us, for if you ever need us we will be there for you.

Even though we may not get the chance to experience what it means to have a spouse, be intimate or even raise a family in this life, I pray that Allah accepts our struggles for His sake and fulfil our desires in the Hereafter. Yes, I am a gay Muslim, and I am proud – proud that Allah has chosen me and many other brothers and sisters for this particular struggle in this life. And for that, and for all His countless blessings we say, Alhamdulillah.

“I hope that the world turns and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you… I love you. With all my heart, I love you.”
(V for Vendetta)

1. Lee, R. (2000). Health care problems of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender patients. Western Journal of Medicine, 172(6), 403–408.
2. Kesvani, H. (2015, April 18). Meet The Gay Muslims Living In Straight Marriages. http://www.buzzfeed.com/husseinkesvani/gay-muslims-in-straight-marriages
3. Schneeberger, A. R., Dietl, M. F., Muenzenmaier, K. H., Huber, C. G., & Lang, U. E. (2014). Stressful childhood experiences and health outcomes in sexual minority populations: a systematic review. Social psychiatry and psychiatric epidemiology, 49(9), 1427-1445.
4. Qadhi, Y. (2009, April 13). Dealing With Homosexual Urges: Yasir Qadhi to Muslim Student. http://muslimmatters.org/2009/04/13/dealing-with-homosexual-urges/
5. Rictor Norton (compiler), “The Great Queers of History, Part 1: Born before 1800″, 1 May 2004 <http://rictornorton.co.uk/greatgay/greatgay.htm>.
6. Salais, D. A., & Fischer, R. B. (1995). Sexual preference and altruism. Journal of Homosexuality, 28(1-2), 185-196.

Categories
Muslim men Muslim women

Unapologetically Telling The Truth Is A Terrible Thing to Admire

Why do we value “unapologetically telling the truth like it is” so highly? When did this become an actual thing that we lionize and aspire to? Why do we celebrate those who do this?

What’s the point of telling it like it is, even if people hate it? And what does it say about us as a community if this is how sincerity and authenticity is expressed? When did it become some type of significant accomplishment that is lauded by others?

There’s obviously an immediate benefit. You gain notoriety, fans, social media engagement, and maybe even just enough of a following to leverage a career (or presidency) out of it.

I have noticed a trend lately, particularly in discourse about Islamic issues online, where people are being heralded and promoted for telling it like it is.

This culture appears to be an overreaction to another problem (as most extremes often are) – speaking about issues without any principles, or watering down and politicizing them. When something in regards to the religion is watered down, the perception is that this is done from a position of weakness.

By speaking the unapologetic truth harshly, a person may feel they are taking on a task for the community that others are not. They are giving voice to a perspective that may otherwise be silent. They are providing objective and accurate intellectual analysis without any emotion or sugar-coating.

Validation follows. Others encourage them for speaking up and saying the things they are unafraid to say. This makes the person feel they are taking on an important task on behalf of the ummah, and continue to do so. Then they get more fans and comments, and the cycle continues.

This validation loop, particularly online when it is in the form of likes and comments, makes it challenging to engage criticisms of this approach objectively. After all, everyone is telling you this is incredible – why should you listen to the few uptight people who are so focused on tone instead of the unapologetic truth bomb you are dropping on people?

This justification comes from prioritizing the utility of giving a correct point of view over how it is delivered – especially when this point of view is drowned out by all the people with the wrong understanding.

When given real feedback on tone or etiquette, people who pride themselves on being unapologetic or authentic will respond by deflecting this advice. Focus on the intellectual merits of the argument they’ll argue. Or they will deflect it by pointing to some type of bad character on the part of people who hold the opposing viewpoint as them. Don’t worry about my bad attitude, worry about that other person’s character instead. Or they’ll appeal to authority and declare that they already have teachers or mentors that give them advice, so they are free to dismiss comments no matter how legitimate. For people who pride themselves on being objective or intellectual, these are all profoundly childish responses.

What is billed as being authentic or unapologetic is really a mask for laziness and ego.

The Qur’an lays out a model that we’ll refer to as the ‘high-competency’ approach:

By an act of mercy from God, you [Prophet] were gentle in your dealings with them—had you been harsh, or hard-hearted, they would have dispersed and left you—so pardon them and ask forgiveness for them. Consult with them about matters, then, when you have decided on a course of action, put your trust in God: God loves those who put their trust in Him (3:159).

Where in this ayah does it appear that the approach of telling the cold hard truth would fall?

Telling the unapologetic truth without regard for how people take it is the easy way out. Anyone can do that. The problem is that it does not work. It causes people to get turned off. Those who lionize this approach will counter by saying, “so what?” They put the blame on the people who can’t handle the message instead of taking responsibility for how they deliver it.

That’s why it’s lazy. It’s a low competency form of delivering a message. The only people who celebrate it are ones that already agree with it. It does not accomplish the ultimate task of winning hearts and minds or changing someone’s viewpoint.

Instead, it puts the focus on the person giving the message – how courageous, authentic, and direct they are. This makes the communication inherently ego driven because the intended audience is now ignored. The actual content of a person’s message also gets lost as they start to craft their identity around speaking forcefully instead of effectively. They show no concern for the recipient of the message, only in themselves.

The task of winning hearts and minds, or changing someone’s ideological worldview, is not done through a hot take on Facebook. It is done as the ayah above indicates – with kindness in dealings with them.

Giving hot takes on social media builds fans and followings, not relationships. The ultimate irony is that unapologetically speaking the truth actually prevents people from developing the relationships to affect positive change in the community because no one wants to be around them.

“How well you take criticism depends less on the message and more on your relationship with the messenger. It’s surprisingly easy to hear a hard truth when it comes from someone who believes in your potential and cares about your success.” –Adam Grant

It requires the hard work of building relationships with people and building community. True leaders understand that this requires years of investment into people – not all of which will be documented on social media. Success means playing the long game.

It means going to a tyrant like Fir’awn, and still speaking kindly because the ultimate intent is different than to just tell it like it is.

It means that when the young man walks into the masjid of the Prophet (s) and asks permission to commit zina (adultery), that the Prophet (s) takes him and teaches him kindly. He could have easily reminded him about the jurisprudential rulings about adultery, and the prescribed punishment – no doubt that would be unapologetically speaking the truth. But it would not have achieved the intended outcome, so the Prophet (s) had to take the approach that would actually produce results.

But wait, what about all the times in the life of the Prophet (s) when harshness was used? Didn’t he speak the truth clearly? Yes. There are always going to be situations where this is called for strategically as a tool intended for a specific result. The problem we are highlighting is not of speaking the truth clearly, but one of expressing it in a harsh way such that people are turned off. And worse, people who respond to the harshness with cheerleading and zealousness instead of genuine care and concern for the one who is wrong to gain some sense of rectification.

There is something deeper at play here than ego or taking the easy way out. Authenticity.

Authenticity is the buzzword we use to express sincerity. When I tell it like it is, I am being authentic and sincere. Not fake. Not a sell-out.

Authenticity presents a paradox: Do you do what’s effective, or do you do what is true to yourself? We might reach a certain level of success and influence by being a certain way. The challenge is getting to the next level. If that means suddenly changing how I communicate or speaking with what I term to be watered down political jargon, then no thanks. This is the mindset that allows us to morally justify our unapologetic approach, and actually double down on it when told to act otherwise.

Authenticity is a barrier to personal growth. We use this idea of it representing sincerity as an excuse to keep from changing. We have to shift from delivering the information people need to know (low-level) to creating the conditions of increasing learning (high-level).

This requires putting in the work to change our approach and character.

The Prophet (s) said that ‘the two characteristics that led the most people into Paradise were consciousness of Allah and good character’ (Tirmidhi).

Don’t let anyone subvert this in the name of unapologetically speaking the truth.

Low competency individuals are drawn to telling it like it is. High competency individuals are attracted to painting the vision of how things could be – and building the bridge to help and serve people in getting there.

https://www.ibnabeeomar.com/blog/unapologetically-telling-the-truth-is-a-terrible-thing-to-admire

 

he-tells-it-like-it-is-paul-not

Categories
Muslim women

I don’t wear a Hijab, but my heart is clean!”

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

170720-brands-selling-hijabs-feature“All of my Ummah will be forgiven except those who sin openly…” [1]

Sinning privately is between Allah and His servant and a struggle that only He knows about and which In sha Allah He will give His servant the Tawfiq to repent for. Openly sinning with no remorse is tantamount to a public challenge to Allah and it doesn’t just remain between a servant and his Lord, but with the people too. One is to unashamedly disobey Allah and then to further justify the sin, but “Allah will not help a people until they help themselves.” [2]

Lately, I seem to have come across many sisters who give reasons for their Hijab – or lack thereof!

“I’m not ready for the Hijab yet!”
“So what if my hair is uncovered? My heart is clean!”
“Don’t tell me to wear Hijab, only Allah can judge me.”

Naturally, it led to many debates where not everyone agreed. Hence, this is merely an opinion.

At random, I started looking at other commandments of Allah. His order to fulfil the obligation of Salah comes with the condition that one has reached the age of puberty, is sane, and is a Muslim. Similarly, the donning of Hijab becomes compulsory once a woman reaches the age of puberty. But why are sisters so quick to make excuses like, “I’m not ready yet” and, “But my heart is clean,” when we don’t make the same excuses for our Zakah and fasting the month of Ramadhan?

My mind is at awe with the women around my Nabi ﷺ who dropped all they had in order to comply to another commandment of Allah with the hope of coming closer to Him. Fatimah Al-Zahrah (R), the queen of the women of Jannah, was the epitome of modesty at the time of Nabi ﷺ and continues to serve as an example until the end of time. Similarly, Umm Khallad (R) who upon hearing of the martyrdom of her beloved son on the battlefield, rushed to it whilst veiled. When asked how she managed to cover in such a state, she responded, “I have lost my son, but I have not lost my modesty.” [3]

Such women had the purest of hearts and yet they did not make the excuses we make because it is not befitting for a Muslim woman to ask for a concession in a matter that Allah and His Nabi (S) have ordained for us!

It may be true that a sister without the Hijab may have a heart purer and Taqwa stronger than that of a sister fully covered. However, when a Muslim woman CHOOSES not to wear the Hijab out of her own free-will (without a valid Shar’i reason), she becomes another fallen brick in the wall that divides us as an Ummah because she has chosen to hide her identity. Those who wear the Hijab (despite their struggles) are then labelled fanatics and extremists because another side has presented a “liberal” image which shows the world that it clearly isn’t mandatory to wear the Hijab and it can’t really be part of the faith! And so in this manner, she makes it harder for her “Hijabi” sister to practice her faith.

Those who refuse the Hijab claiming only Allah can judge them, remember that indeed Allah WILL judge them. Let’s help one another to become stronger in our faith and show the world that we are proud of our identity. May Allah help each of us in our struggles and only He knows what they are.

Do you agree? Disagree? All comments welcome, but please be courteous.plain-chiffon-hijab-plain-chiffon-charcoal-hijab-1_large

[1] Bukhari and Muslim
[2] Surah Ra’ad (13:11)
[3] Abu Dawud

Zainab Bint Husain (Allah protect her)

10 Muharram 1440

Categories
Spirituality

Patience

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

screenshot_2017-11-19-14-54-13.png
We should all prepare a place in our hearts and minds where we can accommodate all the current tragedies and then further disasters which will sooner or later come to our lives, but this is an economy that few people care to practice.
I’m not trying to be pessimistic. Our Prophet ﷺ was not seeking forgiveness all the time because he was a sinner, and neither did His Lord command him regularly to be patient because his entire life was a completely unrelenting tragedy.
It wasn’t.
But it would be a real tragedy for *us* if we were only to think that to be in a blessed state of humbling ourselves before Allah, or to be told to be patient, is only applicable when we are in a bad moment, or a rut in life, or a mid-life crisis.
Patience is realism. It is understanding that whatever we are experiencing at the moment – whether we perceive it to be good or bad – is all ultimately a test on whether you stay *real* or not, whether you correctly attribute the blessings you can and cannot see, to the One who gave them to you. And thank Him for them regardless.
That’s why being patient and worshipping your Lord in a consistent, deep, quality manner during your good times is far more difficult than in the bad times. You can’t see the problem. You can’t feel the grief you need to be patient with. The heart doesn’t feel enough pain to kick in the patience reflex. You don’t feel the need to thank Allah because things are so good “without Him”.
That’s why Shaykhul Islam Ibn Taymiyyah (Allah have peace on him) termed this type of patience the more challenging and the more rewarding. Think about it: the majority of the world’s population have failed in this type of patience. And worse, Allah tells us that He continues to bless them with the dunya and good times and that they’ll continue in their heedlessness and leave this life whilst actually being content with their disbelief.
That is why when we see those who have been blessed with so much in this life and yet they still preserve their values, their Deen, their thanks to their Creator, and their thanks and connection to the normal folks around them, then we still call this “patience” even though it may not seem so. And what do we say about this person? “He still keeps it *real*.” That’s why patience is a permanent state we must incorporate in our lives, and we must create that space where we are always alert and aware. As I said, patience is realism.
This is thus the development of patience. This is why anyone who truly understands patience, has truly understood Islam, reality, and life itself.
regression
#ProtectThisHouse Shaykh Abu Eesa Niamatullah
سئل الإمام أحمد بن حنبل : ألم تصدك المحن عن الطريق ؟!
قال : والله لولا المحن ؛ لشككت في الطريق ..!
ان الله لا يبتليك بشيءٍ إلا كان خيراً لك .. وإن ظننت العكس ..!
أرح قلبك .. فلولا البلاء لكان يوسف مدللاً في حضن أبيه ..
ولكنه مع البلاء صار عزيز مصر ..!
ومن المنفى رجع موسى نبيا…!!!!
ورجع سيدنا محمد من المهجر سيد الخلق فاتحا..!!
أفيضيق صدرك بعد هذا ؟!
كونوا على يقين أن هناك شيءٌ جميلٍ ينتظركم بعد #الصبر
ليبهركم وينسيكم مرارة الألم
Imam Ahmed was once asked: ‘ did your trials not stop you from keeping steadfast on His ( Allah’) path? ‘
Imam Ahmed replied: ‘ if it were not for my trials I would have doubted this path, Allah only tests us with what’s good for us, even if we think otherwise’.
Put your heart at ease… if it were not for trials Prophet Yusuf AS would have been spoilt in the arms of his father but his trials made him the Chief of Egypt!
And out of exile musa AS returned a Prophet!
And Prophet Muhammed return from Hijrah a messenger to the whole of creation, opening Mecca and many other cities.
Never have doubt that what befalls us maybe better for us and what never doubt that something beautiful awaits with patience….
( Mini Mission Reminders )
Categories
Personalities

“Why Me?”

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

diff
By Arthur Ashe
The legendary Wimbledon Player who was dying of AIDS , which he got due to Infected Blood he received during a Heart Surgery in 1983. During his illness, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed:
“Why did God have to select you for such a bad disease?”  To this Arthur Ashe replied:
⁃ 50 Million children started playing Tennis,
⁃ 5 Million learnt to play Tennis,
⁃ 500 000 learnt Professional Tennis,
⁃ 50 Thousand came to Circuit,
⁃ 5 Thousand reached Grand Slam,
⁃ 50 reached Wimbledon,
⁃ 4 reached the Semifinals ,
⁃ 2 reached the Finals and…
when I was holding the cup in my hand, I never asked God:
“Why Me?”
So now that I’m in pain how can I ask God:
“Why Me?”
Happiness…keeps you Sweet, 
Trials…keep you Strong,
Sorrows ..keep you Human,
Failure…keeps you Humble,
Success…keeps you Glowing.
But only, faith…keeps you Going.
Sometimes you are not satisfied with your life, while many people in this world are dreaming of living your life.
A child on a farm sees a plane fly overhead dreams of flying, while  a pilot on the plane sees the farmhouse and dreams of returning home .
That’s life !
Enjoy yours…If wealth is the secret to happiness, then the rich should be dancing on the streets .
But only poor kids do that .
If power ensures security, then VIPs should walk unguarded .
But those who live simply , sleep soundly .
If beauty and fame bring ideal relationships , then celebrities should have the best marriages .
Live simply, be happy, walk humbly and love genuinely.
WHY ME ?
A beautiful message not just to read and forward but to apply practically in our personal life .
Arthur Robert Ashe Jr. (July 10, 1943 – February 6, 1993) was an American professional tennis player who won three Grand Slam titles. Ashe was the first black player selected to the United States Davis Cup team and the only black man ever to win the singles title at Wimbledon, the US Open, and the Australian Open. He retired in 1980. He was ranked World No. 1 by Harry Hopman in 1968 and by Lance Tingay of The Daily Telegraph and World Tennis Magazine in 1975.[3][4] In the ATP computer rankings, he peaked at No. 2 in May 1976. In the early 1980s, Ashe is believed to have contracted HIV from a blood transfusion he received during heart bypass surgery. Ashe publicly announced his illness in April 1992 and began working to educate others about HIV and AIDS. He founded the Arthur Ashe Foundation for the Defeat of AIDS and the Arthur Ashe Institute for Urban Health before his death from AIDS-related pneumonia at age 49 on February 6, 1993. On June 20, 1993, Ashe was posthumously awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by the United States President Bill Clinton.arab

“Your difficult job is the dream of every unemployed, your annoying child is the dream of every infertile, your small home is the dream of every homeless, your little money is the dream of every debtor, your health is the dream of every ill, your smile is the dream of every sad. Allah concealing your sins is the dream of every exposed. So, let gratitude and contentment be your methodology of life.” Alhumdu Lillah!

Categories
Marriage

Lessons On Marriage

Zainab 20151108_003335
1. EVERYONE YOU MARRY HAS A WEAKNESS
Only God has no weakness. Every rose flower has its own thorn. If you focus too much on your spouse’s weakness, you can’t get the best out of his/her strength.
 
2. EVERYONE YOU MARRY HAS A DARK HISTORY
No one is an angel, therefore, avoid digging one’s past. What matters is the present life of your partner. Old things are passed away. Try to forgive and forget. The past can’t be changed. So focus on the present and the future!
3. EVERY MARRIAGE HAS IT’S OWN CHALLENGES
Marriage is not bed of roses. Every shining marriage has gone through its own test of hot and excruciating fire. True love is proved in time of challenge. Fight for your marriage! Make up your mind to stay with your spouse in time of needs. Remember this is the vow you made on your wedding day!
4. EVERY MARRIAGE HAS DIFFERENT LEVELS OF SUCCESS
Don’t compare your marriage with anyone! We can never be equal, some will be far in front and others far behind. To avoid marriage stresses, be patient, work hard and with time, your marriage dreams shall come true.
5. TO MARRY IS TO DECLARE A WAR
When you marry, you must declare a war against enemies of marriage. Some of the enemies of marriage are: Ignorance, Rumours,  Prayerlessness, Unforgiveness, Adultery, Third Party Influence, Stinginess, Stubbornness, Lack Of Love, Rudeness, Wife battery, Laziness, winning, nagging, PRIDE,  Divorce etc. Be ready to fight to maintain your marriage zone.
6. THERE IS NO PERFECT MARRIAGE
There is no ready made marriage anywhere. Marriage is hard work, volunteer yourself and perfect it daily. Marriage is like a MOTOR CAR with a gear oil, gear box, etc If these parts are not properly maintained, the car will break down somewhere along the road and expose the occupant to unhealthy circumstances. – Many of us are careless about our marriage… Are you? If you are, please pay attention to your marriage.
7. GOD CANNOT GIVE YOU THE COMPLETE PERSON YOU DESIRE
God gives you, her or him in form of raw materials in order for you to mold what you desire. You may desire a woman who can pray for 1 hour but your wife can only pray for 30 minutes. With your love, prayer and encouragement, she can improve.
8. TO MARRY IS TO TAKE A RISK
You cannot predict what will happen after marriage, as situation may change, so, leave a room for adjustment. Pregnancy may not come in the next 4 years.. You may get married to her because she’s slim but she becomes a little fat after a child. He may lose his beautiful job for years that you have to take the financial responsibility of the family until he gets a new job. But with God by your side, you will smile at long last.
9. MARRIAGE IS NOT A CONTRACT, IT IS PERMANENT
Marriage needs total commitment, love is the glue that makes a couple stick together. Divorce starts in the mind. Never think of divorce! Never threaten your spouse with divorce. Choose to remain married! God hates divorce, though it’s permitted only in extreme cases.
10. EVERY MARRIAGE HAS A PRICE TO PAY
Marriage is like a bank account. It is the money you deposit into your bank account that you can withdrawn. If you don’t deposit love, peace and care into your marriage, you are not a candidate of a blissful home. There is no free love in marriage, You cannot love without giving and sacrificing.
May God grant us the grace and wisdom to succeed in it. Amen!!! Send it to married and single people on your contacts list.
Anonymous
Zainab 20151202_221608
Categories
Current Affairs articles

“Only God Can Judge Me!”

Dear Friends,

I’ve never liked this statement, nor do I agree with it. It is wrong and flawed in so many ways.
Firstly, if someone commits a crime in a country which goes against the law of the country, will they not face trial and prosecution? Will evidence and witnesses not be presented to ‘judge’ them? Will they not go to a courtroom and face a ‘judge’ and a jury, which will eventually sentence a punishment?

Secondly, if you don’t commit a crime, but rather a sin or an act of indecency, people can and will ‘judge’ you. To say at the point ‘only God can judge me is stupendously funny. It does not say in any law book or holy book people cannot judge you… Rather I have always believed, people will judge you and CAN judge you by your words and actions. If you judge someone on what you see there is absoTOTALutely nothing wrong with that. Being “judgemental” is when there is no evidence present and you accuse someone of a crime/sin. Even though that is common sense!

judge
My point being if you really don’t want people to judge you, don’t behave immorally. Behave sensibly and show your maturity and intelligence.

I take it those who say it really and truly believe in God/Allah? Whether you’re a Muslim like me or follow another religion, please quit using this statement. Don’t stop because I say so! Rather remember, when God does finally judge you, you will not have a leg to stand by. It doesn’t matter if you are the Pope or Her Majesty, the Queen. In front of God, we are nothing. So please stop being foolish and acting proud. God is Great, the Greatest, the Supreme.

I do believe this is a plot of Shaytan, to stop us from preventing evil. As Muslims, we have an obligation to command good and forbid evil. If you see evil, you stop it. It is not judgemental.

Finally dear friends, remember that the world will always judge your outer appearance no matter what your intention is. It is not sufficient to say God knows my intention. . . Simply because we (the people of the world) are not God! How can you expect someone to know what your intention is?

Yours Truly,

Ismail Ibn Nazir Satia (One who is in dire need of Allah’s Forgiveness, Mercy and Pleasure).

20 Rabiul Akhar 1437