Tag: children

Categories
Muslim women

Dear Mother: Why the double standards?

Written by Nadira Chhipa
dhikr-4
Dear mother, when you shout for Safiyyah to help you cook and set the dinner table please remember to call Ridhwan to assist you aswel. How is he going to learn to serve himself if you have been serving him for two decades?
Dear mother,  when you scream at Fatima for not making her bed or for throwing her wet towel on her bedroom floor please remember that 5 minutes ago you were waiting for Suhail to wake up so you could clean his room which looked like a tornado hit it. How is he going to learn to tidy up his personal space if you keep doing it for him?
Dear mother, when you check Halimahs phone as you have become suspicious of her spending too much time texting please remember to also ask Idrees to hand his phone over for you to examine. Why is he allowed to be on his phone 24/7 without you becoming suspicious?
Dear mother, when Amina hands over her report card to you and your face saddens with disappointment as she scored two Bs please  look closely at Ahmeds report card as he did not even achieve a single A, yet he was congratulated for passing. How would he improve if you do not encourage him to do better?
Dear mother, when you angrily question  Habiba for arriving at home five minutes late from campus please give Hameeed a call and ask him why is he two hours late. How would he learn to respect and value boundaries if you do not set any for him?
Dear mother, when you yell at Aliya for not attending family functions with you please ask Ali to accompany you to the next family gathering as well. How would he recognise and socialise with your family if he is allowed to stay at home alone all the time?
Dear mother, when you advise Faheema about her duties at home after marriage, her responsibilities as well her loyalties after Nikah,  towards her husband and his family please give Faraz the same advice.  How will he know how to assist his wife, respect his in laws, be a responsible husband, father and son in law if you do not advise him?
Dear mother, when you reprimand Hannah for raising her voice or back chatting when she is angry please do not ignore Hamzah’s disrespectful behaviour and anger control issues. How would he learn to control his anger, be gentle, kind and caring if you do not acknowledge his faults?
Dear mother, when you speak to Naeema about Zina, sexual abuse, rape, physical abuse, emotional abuse, relationships, drugs, bad influences as well as indulgences please do have that talk with Khalid. How would he learn to respect a woman’s body, mind and soul if you do not teach him. How would he learn to protect himself from evil if you do not teach him?
Dear mother, when you remind Raeesa to read her salah, fast in Ramadhan, cover her body, recite the Quran and Hadith please remind Muhammad to do the same. How would he become an asset to you as well as the Ummah if you do not inculcate the love for Islam in his heart?
Dear mother, remember the boy have been blessed with from Allah is your son today, a student of life tomorrow, a wonderful husband to a beautiful lady and an amazing father to your grandchildren in the future. Insha-Allah. Raise your sons to be independent and efficient, do not make your sons so dependent on you that they find themselves unable to cook, clean or take care of their daily chores without assistance. The Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W), mercy upon mankind yet he did his own chores. Why are we following a tradition and culture that cripples men by not allowing them to serve themselves. Today there are some men who will not even eat if their food is not cooked, served and dished out to them  into their plates. This is a sad reality of generation of boys who feel entitled to everything being done for them by the females of their household. This is a sad reason for the breakdown of many marriages as the husband  expects to be served by his wife just as he  was served all his life by his mother and sisters.
Dear mother, let us change this mindset, let us raise respectful, responsible , successful, understanding, caring, loyal, humble and kind men who will be a means of comfort, peace, happiness. Ameen.
Dear mother, do not set double standards as this will cause chaos and destruction in your home.
Dear mother, we have the best example, let us raise our sons in accordance with the beautiful Sunnah of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W).
Dear mother, let us raise good men.
May Allah bless us mothers with strength, love, wisdom, patience and understanding always -Ameen.
Nadira Chhipa
1 Rabiul Awwal 1439
Categories
Miscellaneous

3…2…1…!

race
Someone made my day by posting this today.
New York is 3 hours ahead of California, 
but it does not make California slow. 
Someone graduated at the age of 22, 
but waited 5 years before securing a good job! 
Someone became a CEO at 25, 
and died at 50. 
While another became a CEO at 50, 
and lived to 90 years. 
Someone is still single, 
while someone else got married. 
Some get married and have five children in five years,
Another couple is trying for their first child after five years.
Obama retires at 55, 
but Trump starts at 70. 
Absolutely everyone in this world works based on their Time Zone.
People around you might seem to go ahead of you, 
some might seem to be behind you. 
But everyone is running their own RACE, in their own TIME. 
Don’t envy them or mock them. 
They are in their TIME ZONE, and you are in yours! 
Life is about waiting for the right moment to act. 
So, RELAX. 
You’re not LATE. 
You’re not EARLY. 
You are very much ON TIME, and in your TIME ZONE Destiny set up for you.  
In conclusion don’t rush to get and don’t be sad when refused.
“Be grateful when granted and patient when denied…”
Make everyday your day !!
Anonymous
fii
Categories
Marriage

Children Activities

dhikr-4
by Zahra Anjum
Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem
There was a time in our childhood when the local television showed only half an hour of cartoons every evening and that was that. However, children nowadays have a 24/7 access to everything they want. These movies and cartoons are the main form of entertainment these days. When children go chanting ‘I’m bored’ this is the entertainment most of us are likely to provide.
While some may disagree with me and think that they are harmless, I find these programs extremely distressing. Yes, they are very convenient babysitters but are too damaging for the soul. Two months into watching one, and I can see the effects on my six-year-old son. The constant background music, the inappropriate language, and a downpour of un-Islamic values; how can we expect anything good to come out of it?
As keen parents, we tend to look out for alternatives that are healthy, educational, and enjoyable. Practicing Muslims do not die out of boredom; they do have fun in many other ways! Below is a list of halal entertainment means that you can enjoy as a family.
Outdoor activities:
Swimming, archery, and horseback riding are some activities recommended by Prophet Muhammad (saw). In addition to that, children can enjoy playing different sports like football, badminton, and cricket. Young children also like to do cycling, skipping rope, and playing hopscotch.
You can also set up a simple obstacle course in your garden for children to complete and have a variety of races with them like sack race, three-legged race, lemon and spoon race, and so on. Moreover, children will love playing traditional games like tag and hide and seek. Think of all the games you played as a child and teach them to your kids.
Indoor activities:
When they can’t play outdoors, there are plenty of indoor activities that can keep them occupied:
Board games – Scrabble, Risk, Monopoly, Pictionary, Twister, Cluedo, Guess Who, Snakes and Ladders, Ludo, and so on.
Card games like UNO.
Paper and pencil games – Tic Tac Toe, Hangman, Dots and Squares, Name/Place/Animal/Thing.
Indoor hide and seek, treasure hunt.
Oral games – I spy, Chinese whispers, 20 Questions game.
Puzzles:
Puzzles help develop patience and cognition skills in children. You can buy some age-appropriate puzzles that are easily available in the market. Moreover, children can also make their own puzzles with the help of paper, cardboard, or Popsicle sticks.
Building and creating:
More architectural and creative children can enjoy constructing forts, cities, and models using building blocks, Lego, construction paper, and modeling clay.
Science experiments:
Plenty of science experiments can be done at home using common kitchen ingredients. Search for some experiments, and try them with your kids. Some ideas can be found here and here.
Arts and crafts:
The Internet is brimming with ideas for kid-friendly crafts. Things like paper, old newspapers, old boxes, and cans can keep those young ones busy for hours. We just need to guide them to a craft that interests them, for example, origami, paper mache, and so on.
Gardening:
Children find it very interesting to plant seeds, tend to the garden, and water it. They can perhaps have their own individual corners in the garden or pots to plant in and look after. They will be able to observe the magnificent creation of Allah and have fun at the same time.
Books:
How can we forget books! Surround your children with colorful and interesting books, and they will for sure grow up with a love of books. Read aloud to them in an engaging manner; children do not like being read to in a monotonous voice. When they have learnt to read, both stories and non-fiction books will keep them entertained.
Even those children who do not like reading do enjoy books that match their interests, for example, a boy who loves trucks will love a book about trucks.
Museums and parks:
Take your children to parks and museums where they can learn and enjoy at the same time. Going for a walk or visiting friends and relatives can be fun too.
Videos, video games, and apps:
Although there should be a limited time for screens (which no doubt is very difficult to maintain), this does not mean they are prohibited altogether. Video games and apps that do not have un-Islamic elements like immorality and music are permissible and can be played, provided its usage does not exceed limits.
Moreover, videos about nature, technology, space, and sports can also be shown if they conform to the above principle.
1 Safar 1438
Categories
Current Affairs articles

(رسالة إلى كل من يقول ( أريد تأمين مستقبل أولادي

Categories
Marriage

Marriage Advice by Shaykh Abu Bakr alShatri (Hafidhahullah).

Makkah Rihaal

أمور ينصح بها لمن تعسر عليه الزواج :
أولاً :

قراءة سورة يس 4 مرات بنية الشفاء وتيسير الأمور وتحقيق المقصود ورفع البلاء في مكان نظيف خال لا يفرق بينهما بكلام ثم يدعو بهذا الدعاء 3 مرات :
( سبحان المنفس عن كل مديون ، سبحان المفرج عن كل محزون ، سبحان من أمره بعد الكاف والنون ، سبحان من إذا أراد شيئاً أن يقول له كن فيكون ، يا مفرج الهموم يا حي يا قيوم ، صل على سيدنا محمد وآله وافعل لي كذا وكذا ) ثم تذكر حاجتك بيقين وحسن ظن في الله فهو أكرم مسؤول وأعظم مأمول.

وهذه الوصفة تكرر يومياً أو أسبوعياً أو حسب استطاعة الإن

 

سان وفراغه وقراءة سورة يس يومياً بنية ما يريد القارئ أمر فيه خير كثير .
وممكن يقرأها الشخص مرة واحدة عند عدم القدرة على قراءتها 4 مرات مع الدعاء أعلاه.

ثانياً :

 الدعاء : يكرر الدعاء أكثر من أربعين وهذا من المجربات لا مما ورد
أمثلة على الأدعية :
رَبِّ هَبۡ لِى مِن لَّدُنكَ ذُرِّيَّةً۬ طَيِّبَةً‌ۖ إِنَّكَ سَمِيعُ ٱلدُّعَآءِ (٣٨) سورة آل عمران
رَبِّ لَا تَذَرۡنِى فَرۡدً۬ا وَأَنتَ خَيۡرُ ٱلۡوَٲرِثِينَ (٨٩) سورة الأنبياء
رَبِّ إِنِّى لِمَآ أَنزَلۡتَ إِلَىَّ مِنۡ خَيۡرٍ۬ فَقِيرٌ۬ (٢٤) سورة القصص ( 136 مرة يومياً )
ثالثاً :

قراءة الآية من سورة الحج أكثر من 51 مرة وهذا من باب التجربة ولكنه يرددها بيقين وحسن ظن في الله وفي كرمه سبحانه وتعالى بحصول الفرج وتحقيق المقصود والمأمول على أحسن حال :
وَأَذِّن فِى ٱلنَّاسِ بِٱلۡحَجِّ يَأۡتُوكَ رِجَالاً۬ وَعَلَىٰ ڪُلِّ ضَامِرٍ۬ يَأۡتِينَ مِن كُلِّ فَجٍّ عَمِيقٍ۬ (٢٧)
رابعاً :

ترديد هذا الجزء من سورة الحجر أكثر من 21 مرة :
وَزَيَّنَّـٰهَا لِلنَّـٰظِرِينَ (١٦) وَحَفِظۡنَـٰهَا مِن كُلِّ شَيۡطَـٰنٍ۬ رَّجِيمٍ (١٧)
خامساً :

عدم النوم بعد الفجر ولكن بعد طلوع الشمس بحوالي ربع ساعة .
سادساً :

صلاة الضحى 4 ركعات ( يصليها ركعتين ركعتين ) .
سابعاً :

كثرة الاستغفار .
ثامناً :

كثرة الصلاة على النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم

Advice for those who are experiaencing obstructions in their marriage:

Firstly:

Read Surah Al-Yasin, 4 times in a clean place without communicating during recitation, with the intention to cure and to facilitate things, to achieve and intend to remove distress from their marriage. After they must should read the dua, 3 times.

سبحان المنفس عن كل مديون ، سبحان المفرج عن كل محزون ، سبحان من أمره بعد الكاف والنون ، سبحان من إذا أراد شيئاً أن يقول له كن فيكون ، يا مفرج الهموم يا حي يا قيوم ، صل على سيدنا محمد وآله وافعل لي كذا وكذا

Subhanal munefis Aan kullilmadiyun, subhanal mufarij Aan kuli mahzoon, subhanna man amara bAadal kef wel noon, subhanaman itha arada shayan an yaqul lahu kun faya kun, yamufarij alhumoom ya hayu ya qayum sali Aala sayyidinah Muhammed wa alihi wafAal lee wa ketha wa ketha

After remember your needs with certainty and good thoughts in Allah as He is the Greatest. This is the treatment and you must repeat this daily or weekly or depending on the ability of the person, on your free time. You must read Surah Al-Yasin daily with the intention of good outcome. You can read this once when unable to read Surah Al-Yasin 4 times and dua.

Secondly:

Read the dua more than 40 times and this is from experience and not what is stated.

Examples:

رَبِّ هَبۡ لِى مِن لَّدُنكَ ذُرِّيَّةً۬ طَيِّبَةً‌ۖ إِنَّكَ سَمِيعُ ٱلدُّعَآءِ (٣٨) سورة آل عمران

Rabbi hab lee min ladunka thurriyyatan tayyibatan innaka sameeAau alddaAai

Oh my Lord! Grant me a righteous child as your special favour; surely you hear all prayers.

رَبِّ لَا تَذَرۡنِى فَرۡدً۬ا وَأَنتَ خَيۡرُ ٱلۡوَٲرِثِينَ (٨٩) سورة الأنبياء

Rabbi la tatharnee fardan waanta khayru alwaritheena

Oh my Lord! Leave me not without offspring though Thou art the best of inheritors.
رَبِّ إِنِّى لِمَآ أَنزَلۡتَ إِلَىَّ مِنۡ خَيۡرٍ۬ فَقِيرٌ۬ (٢٤) سورة القصص ( 136 مرة يومياً )

Rabbi innee lima anzalta ilayya min khayrin faqeerun

Oh Lord! Surely I am in desperate neeed of whatever good that You may send down to me. Read these Ayahs 136 times a day, every day.

Thirdly: Read the verse from Surah Al-Hajj more than 51 times, this is from experience but read the verse with certainty and good thought in Allah.

وَأَذِّن فِى ٱلنَّاسِ بِٱلۡحَجِّ يَأۡتُوكَ رِجَالاً۬ وَعَلَىٰ ڪُلِّ ضَامِرٍ۬ يَأۡتِينَ مِن كُلِّ فَجٍّ عَمِيقٍ۬ (٢٧)

Waaththin fee alnnasi bialhajji yatooka rijalan waAala kulli damirin yateena min kulli fajjin Aameeqin

And make a proclamation of Hajj (Pilgrimage) to mankind: they will come to you on foot and on lean camels from every distant quarter

Fourthly: Repeat this part from Surah Al-Hijr more than 21 times.

وَزَيَّنَّـٰهَا لِلنَّـٰظِرِينَ (١٦) وَحَفِظۡنَـٰهَا مِن كُلِّ شَيۡطَـٰنٍ۬ رَّجِيمٍ (١٧)

Wazayyannaha lilnna th ireena (16) Wahafi th naha min kulli shaytanin rajeemin (17)

And made them good looking for the beholders (16) And We have guarded them from every accursed shaitan (17)

Fifth: Do not sleep after Fajr but after sunrise (approximately 15 minutes)

Sixth: Salat Ad-Duha, 4 rakat (pray 2 rakats; 2 rakats)

Seventh:  Make a lot of Istighfar

“أَسْتَغْفِرُ اللهَ وَأَتُوبُ إِلَيْهِ”.

‘Astaghfirullaaha wa ‘atoobu ‘ilayhi.

I seek the forgiveness of Allah and repent to Him. 

Eighteth: Increase in the salutation of the Prophet Muhammed Salallahu Alayhi Wa Salim

“اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ وَسَلَّمْ عَلَى نَبِيِّنَا مُحَمَّدٍ”.

Allahumma salli wa sallim ‘alaa nabiyyinaa Muhammadin

Oh Allah, we ask you for peace and blessings upon our prophet Muhammad

Categories
Marriage

When you thought I wasn’t looking.

babyA message every adult should read because children watch you and do as you do, not as you say.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw you make my favourite cake for me, and I learned that little things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn’t feel good, and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, and it’s all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I learned most of life’s lessons that I needed to know: to be a good and productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I looked at you and wanted to say,’ Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn’t looking.

By Anon.