Tag: girl

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Muslim men Muslim women

12 Levels of Friendship

Did you know that in Arabic, there are 12 levels of friendship? 

For every level of friendship, there is an Arabic word to describe it. From Siddique to Khaleel, it is rare to find all 12 levels of friendship in one person.

1. Siddique (صديق) – a true friend; someone who doesn’t befriend you for an ulterior motive. The word “Siddique” is commonly translated as truth, so honesty and loyalty is at the core of this friendship.

2. 𝘼𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙨 (أنيس) – someone with whom you’re really comfortable and familiar with.

3. 𝙕𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙚𝙡 (زميل) – someone you have a nodding acquaintance with.

4. 𝙅𝙖𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙨 (جليس) – someone you’re comfortable sitting with for a period of time.

5. 𝙎𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙚𝙧 (سمير) – someone you have good conversation with them.

6. 𝙎𝙖𝙝𝙞𝙗 (صاحب) – someone who’s concerned for your well-being.

7. 𝙍𝙖𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙦 (رفيق) – someone you can depend upon.

8. 𝙆𝙝𝙖𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙡 (خليل) – an intimate friend; someone whose presence makes you happy.

9. 𝙉𝙖𝙟𝙞 (نجي) – a confidant; someone you trust deeply.

10. 𝙉𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙚𝙢 (نديم) – a drinking companion (just tea) that you might call when you’re free.

11. 𝙎𝙖𝙛𝙞 (صفي) – your best friend; someone you’ve chosen over other friends.

12. 𝙌𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙣 (قرين) – someone who’s inseparable from you; you know how they think (and vice versa).

Which ones do you have?

Categories
Muslim women

Dua and Surahs for Pregnancy/Labour

Congratulations to you and your family on your bun in the oven. Allah bless you with a healthy and happy baby who lives and strives off faith and Islam, I hope Allah grants you the coolness of your eyes.

baby.jpg

Motherhood! A very exciting experience and something I believe most women desire and dream for, as they are born nurturers. Amidst all the excitement, shopping, and getting your homes ready for this new addition to the family, sometimes you can forget the spiritual connection with that Exalted Being who has blessed us with this amazing journey.

No one said pregnancy and labour would be or is easy. But if you want that cute bundle of joy in your hands, then you have to push through (no pun intended!) these nine months and labour and show yourself that “you’ve got the power!”

Please remember to thank Allah for blessing you with this opportunity that many desire and don’t have. Don’t take even a split second for granted. Make it a habit of reciting:

اَللّٰهُمَّ لَكَ الْـحَمْدُ وَ لَكَ الشُّكْرُ

“O Allah, all praise and gratitude is for you”

Let me get to the point, here are some dua’ and some adhkar to help you through.

Students of Habib ‘Umar bin Hafidh (hafidhahulah), of Yemen collected this list of recommendations some years ago, for those amongst us who are pregnant or struggling with infertility.

Daily

  • Surah Inshiqaq (Surah 84) – to be recited daily throughout the pregnancy
  • Surah Luqman (Surah 31) – to be recited daily during the 1st trimester when the baby’s brain, mental faculties and nervous system are developing, this Surah helps the baby’s brain develop.
  • Surah Yusuf (Surah 12) – to be recited in the 2nd trimester when the child’s physical appearance is forming, for beautiful physical appearance.
  • Surah Maryam (Surah 19) – to be recited in the 3rd trimester as labour approaches
  • “Ya Lateef” – to be recited 129 times every morning and evening

7th month only

  • The husband should recite Surah Inshirah (Surah 94) 152 times on the baby

Labour

  • The first ayat of Surah al-Fath’ (Surah 48)
  • “Ya Lateef”
  • Surah Maryam (Surah 19) for ease in labour (you can also play on YouTube)
  • Surah Inshirah (Surah 94)
  • “As salaam Alaikum ayuha-nabee wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu”

General advice

  • Shaykh Muhammad Ba Shu’ayb once advised, for the sake of any children we are to have to recite all our adhkar and awrad everyday and to ensure that we pray as many prayers in congregation with our spouse.
  • Read as much Qur’an as possible.
  • Try and do as much salawat on the Prophet (saw) as possible – in particular Salat al-Tunjina’ and “As salaam Alaikum ayuha-nabee wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu”
  • As babies are said to be able to recognise certain sounds and music from their time in the womb, reading certain texts such as the “Book of Assistance” by Imam al-Haddad, is advised in order to bring about recognition.
  • One of the Habaib also advised pregnant women to look at pictures of the Ka’aba when she was too tired to actively engage in ibadah.

For those trying to conceive children

  • Recite Surah Fatiha (Surah 1) 41 times in between the sunnah and fardh of Fajr prayer.
  • Recite verse 38 of Surah Imran (Surah 3) as many times a day as possible.

 

In addition to that, ask Allah to bless you with pious children like our beloved Prophet Zakariya (AS) did:

رَبِّ هَبْ لِي مِنْ لَدُنْكَ ذُرِّيَّةً طَيِّبَةً إِنَّكَ سَمِيعُ الدُّعَاءِ

“O Allah bestow onto me from You, pure children. Verily you are the listener of du’aas”

Other Ulama suggest in your last month recite the first five ayahs of Surah Al-Inshiqaaq abundantly, as this will help with an easier delivery and labour. Or increase the recitation of Surah al-Inshiqaaq if you were already reciting from the start of the pregnancy.

Abstain from listening to music and replace that with recitation or Quran or adhkar, as it has scientifically been proven that the child is able to recognize certain sounds in the womb. Let’s bless our unborn child with the words of Allah (S.W.T). Then follow that habit through postnatal and you will be surprised as to how much comfort your child will get from listening to the words of Allah (S.W.T) from as early as birth. I’ve seen it with my very own eyes.

Please stay away from sin, talking ill of people and slander. Try to stay pure at heart and tongue and you will see your children grow to reap the benefits.

Print and keep the list of dua’ for pious children (below) and make a habit of reciting them often. One way to do this is to tape it to the wall next to your dresser mirror and recite the dua (or just a couple of them if your kids or husband are impatiently waiting for you to get ready!) as you get ready in the morning.preggy

Lastly, advice from Mufti Ikramul Haq Saheb (hafidhahullah) of Blackburn: “Through experience, we have seen placing the book ‘Muwatta Imam Malik’ under the pillow at the time of labour, eases labour pain.”

Allah grant you all ease and peace throughout the pregnancy, a smooth labour, as well as granting you pious children, righteous and the coolness of your eyes. Ameen.

Ismail ibn Nazir Satia (One who is in dire need of Allah’s forgiveness, mercy and pleasure)

Rabiul Awwal 1440

Categories
Marriage

Questions to Ask Before Getting Married

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

There is no doubt marriage is becoming harder for some people. And when you go to see a potential partner you may struggle to ask the right questions. Here is a list someone sent me:

tomoko-uji-633735-unsplash(Pick and choose the right questions, obviously you are not going to ask all the questions)

MARRIAGE
1. What is your concept of marriage?

2. Have you been married before?

3. Are you married now?

4. What are your expectations of marriage?

5. Why have you chosen me/other person as a potential spouse?

6. What are your goals in life? (long and short term)

7. Identify three things that you want to accomplish in the near future.

8. Identify three things that you want to accomplish, long term.

RELIGION
9. What is the role of religion in your life now?

10. Are you a spiritual person?

11. What is your understanding of an Islamic marriage?

12. What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously?

13. What is your relationship between you and the Muslim community in your area?

14. Are you volunteering in any Islamic activities?

15. What can you offer your spouse spiritually?

16. What is the role of the husband?

17. What is the role of the wife?

18. Do you want to practice polygamy?

FAMILY
19. What is your relationship with your family?

20. What do you expect your relationship with the family of your spouse to be?

21. What do you expect your spouses relationship with your family to be?

22. Is there anyone in your family living with you now?

23. Are you planning to have anyone in your family live with you in the future?

24. If, for any reason, my relationship with your family turns sour, what should be done?

FRIENDS
25. Who are your friends? (Identify at least three.)

26. How did you get to know them?

27. Why are they your friends?

28. What do you like most about them?

29. What will your relationship with them after marriage be?

30. Do you have friends of the opposite sex?

31. What is the level of your relationship with them now?

32. What will be the level of your relationship with them after marriage?

33. What type of relationship do you want your spouse to have with your friends?

SELF
34. What are the things that you do in your free time?

35. Do you love to have guests in your home for entertainment?

36. What are you expecting from your spouse when your friends come to the house?

37. What is your opinion of speaking other languages in home that I do not understand? (with friends or family)

38. Do you travel?

39. How do you spend your vacations?

40. How do you think your spouse should spend vacations?

41. Do you read?

42. What do you read?

43. After marriage, do you think that you are one to express romantic feelings verbally?

44. After marriage, do you think that you want to express affection in public?

45. How do you express your admiration for someone that you know now?

46. How do you express your feelings to someone who has done a favour for you?

47. Do you like to write your feelings?

48. If you wronged someone, how do you apologize?

49. If someone has wronged you, how do you want she/he to apologize to you?

50. How much time passes before you can forgive someone?

51. How do you make important and less important decisions in your life?

52. Do you use foul language at home? In public? With family?

53. Do your friends use foul language?

54. Does your family use foul language?

55. How do you express anger?

56. How do you expect your spouse to express anger?

57. What do you do when you are angry?

58. When do you think it is appropriate to initiate mediation in marriage?

59. When there is a dispute in your marriage, religious or otherwise, how should the
conflict get resolved?

60. Define mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse.

61. What would you do if you felt that you had been abused?

62. Who would you call for assistance if you were being abused?

HEALTH
63. Do you suffer from any chronic disease or condition?

64. Are you willing to take a physical exam by a physician before marriage?

65. What is your understanding of proper health and nutrition?

66. How do you support your own health and nutrition?

MONEY
67. What is you definition of wealth?

68. How do you spend money?

69. How do you save money?

70. How do you think that your use of money will change after marriage?

71. Do you have any debts now? If so, how are you making progress to eliminate them?

72. Do you use credit cards?

73. Do you support the idea of taking loans to buy a new home?

74. What are you expecting from your spouse financially?

75. What is your financial responsibility in the marriage?

76. Do you support the idea of a working wife?

77. If so, how do you think a dual-income family should manage funds?

78. Do you currently use a budget to manage your finances?

79. Who are the people to whom you are financially responsible?

80. Do you support the idea of utilizing baby sitters and/or maids?

CHILDREN
81. Do you want to have children? If not, why?

82. To the best of your understanding, are you able to have children?

83. Do you want to have children in the first two years of marriage? If not, when?

84. Do you believe in abortion?

85. Do you have children now?

86. What is your relationship with your children now?

87. What is your relationship with their other parent?

88. What relationship do you expect your spouse to have with your children and their parent?

89. What is the best method(s) of raising children?

90. What is the best method(s) of disciplining children?

91. How were you raised?

92. How were you disciplined?

93. Do you believe in spanking children? Under what circumstances?

94. Do you believe in public school for your children?

95. Do you believe in Islamic school for your children?

96. Do you believe in home schooling for your children?

97. What type of relationship should your children have with non-Muslim classmates/friends?

98. Would you send your children to visit their extended family if they lived in another state or country?

99. What type of relationship do you want your children to have with all their grandparents?

RELATIVES
100. If there are members of my family that are not Muslim, that are of different race or culture, what type of relationship do you want to have with them?

I will also add the istikhara dua, to pray after two rak’at nafl salah:

isti

Where the words “Hathal amr” appear twice (underlined) think of the matter you are asking for.

Categories
Marriage

When you thought I wasn’t looking.

babyA message every adult should read because children watch you and do as you do, not as you say.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw you make my favourite cake for me, and I learned that little things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn’t feel good, and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, and it’s all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I learned most of life’s lessons that I needed to know: to be a good and productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn’t looking I looked at you and wanted to say,’ Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn’t looking.

By Anon.