Bismillah…
As Sha’ban draws to an end, we will swiftly approach the blessed, holy and spiritual month of Ramadhan.
A month of mercy.
A month of blessings.
A month of forgiveness.
On the topic of forgiveness, many will be sending “mass” texts to their contacts asking for forgiveness and to overlook any mistakes made throughout the year. People generally start this on 15th Sha’ban (a night of forgiveness) or just before Ramadhan.
In oversight, this all looks good and well. And in a day and age of arrogance and ego where people hardly accept and apologise we should appreciate these messages. I have no qualms with that.
My gripe is that this is becoming a fashion, a trend. Most of us don’t even write our own messages, we just copy and paste from the last sender. No, I’m not judgemental, I know because the wording and emojis are all the same? Just replace the name with yours.
Sometimes the messages are bereft of sincerity and remorse. You really are calling me judgemental now. No again, I’m not. Many times people send the messages when they have wronged you, and when you bring up their hurtful words and actions…. they get defensive and haughty. Huh?!
Why apologise then if you’re not sincere and don’t really mean it. Brothers and sisters, my point is don’t just copy and paste. Please. For the love of Allah, if you really have wronged someone approach them, visit them, make efforts to see them. If they’re in another town or country “call” them and settle the issues. Lastly, if all else fails text them. Matters can be dealt with (easily) in this world or harshly in the hereafter. Remember, there are rights of Allah (Huqooqullah) and rights of the servants (Huqooqul Ibaad). Allah will forgive you if you don’t pray Salah and Fast in Ramadhan. But if you abuse the rights of any human; your wife, children, family members or neighbours they will be able to take revenge on Qiyamah, In Sha Allah.
Let’s stop these ‘meaningless’ broadcasts!
Abu Huraira reported (Allah be pleased with him): The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said,
“Do you know who is bankrupt?” They said, “The one without money or goods is bankrupt.” The Prophet said, “Verily, the bankrupt of my nation are those who come on the Day of Resurrection with prayers, fasting, and charity, but also with insults, slander, consuming wealth, shedding blood, and beating others. The oppressed will each be given from his good deeds. If his good deeds run out before justice is fulfilled, then their sins will be cast upon him and he will be thrown into the Hellfire.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2581
Grade: Sahih(authentic) according to Muslim
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ أَتَدْرُونَ مَا الْمُفْلِسُ قَالُوا الْمُفْلِسُ فِينَا مَنْ لَا دِرْهَمَ لَهُ وَلَا مَتَاعَ فَقَالَ إِنَّ الْمُفْلِسَ مِنْ أُمَّتِي يَأْتِي يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ بِصَلَاةٍ وَصِيَامٍ وَزَكَاةٍ وَيَأْتِي قَدْ شَتَمَ هَذَا وَقَذَفَ هَذَا وَأَكَلَ مَالَ هَذَا وَسَفَكَ دَمَ هَذَا وَضَرَبَ هَذَا فَيُعْطَى هَذَا مِنْ حَسَنَاتِهِ وَهَذَا مِنْ حَسَنَاتِهِ فَإِنْ فَنِيَتْ حَسَنَاتُهُ قَبْلَ أَنْ يُقْضَى مَا عَلَيْهِ أُخِذَ مِنْ خَطَايَاهُمْ فَطُرِحَتْ عَلَيْهِ ثُمَّ طُرِحَ فِي النَّارِ
2581 صحيح مسلم كتاب البر والصلة والآداب باب تحريم الظلم
This was an islamic perspective, now let’s look at forgiveness from a counselling/healing perspective:
When it comes to forgiveness there is one key word in holistic healing and that is “let go.”
Unforgiveness imprisons you in your past, causing you to hold onto anger, guilt and shame because of situations and things that happened in the past leading to anxiety, depression and even physical health issues.
Unconditional forgiveness: Forgiving someone unconditionally means no longer holding onto any grudges or negative feelings towards someone. Forgiveness should be unconditional. Even when the perpetrators do not apologise we must be prepared to “let go” and not “hold on”
Forgiving someone is not for the other person.. it is for yourself. Forgiving someone does not mean that you condone their behaviour and that it’s ok. It simply means you are not willing to hold on to the negative feelings as it is like dragging chains. You set yourself free. It is releasing yourself from the pain of holding onto the grudges and negative feelings.
When we forgive and let it go it does not mean that we forgive and forget what has happened because those memories will always be there but it means we will not be triggered by those memories anymore.
You can never be free of bitterness if you have not forgiven someone.
If you have this burden in your heart that is weighing you down and you need to unfold this to the mercy of Allah who is Ghafoorurraheem most merciful of all go ask for forgiveness from others first, forgive others and forgive yourself also.
MUST WATCH: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsQnySo3hcc
Ismail Satia (One who is in dire need of Allah’s forgiveness, mercy and pleasure).
15th Shaban 1438
