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The Advice of Umar Ibn Abdul Aziz RH for Parents

images (3)The current situation with upbringing our children is truly alarming. If nothing is done soon, one cannot imagine how it will end up. There’s nothing more sad than “loosing” your child.

Tips by Khalifah ‘Umar ibn’Abdil ‘Azeez RH

I feel that Khalifah ‘Umar ibn ‘Abdil ‘Azeez’s (rahimahullah) advice below is very apt and pertinent.

وكتب عمر بن عبد العزيز إلى مؤدب ولده :

” خذهم بالجفاء فهو أمنع لاقدامهم ، وترك الصبحة فان عادتها تكسب الغفلة، وقلة الضحك فان كثرته تميت القلب ، وليكن أول ما يعتقدون من أدبك بغض الملاهي التي بدؤها من الشيطان ، وعاقبتها سخط الرحمن ، فانه بلغني عن الثقات من حملة العلم أن حضور المعازف واستماع الأغاني واللهج بهما ينبت النفاق في القلب كما ينبت العشب بالماء . وليفتتح كل غلام منهم بجزء من القرآن يثبت في قراءته ، فاذا فرغ منه تناول نبله وقوسه  وخرج إلى الغرض حافيا ، فرمى سبعة أرشاق ، ثم انصرف إلى القائلة ، فان ابن مسعود كان يقول : ” يا بني قيلوا ، فان الشياطين لا تقيل”

( ذكره ابن أبي الدنيا في : ” ذم الملاهي” ص: 9 )

Khalifah ‘Umar ibn ‘Abdul ‘Aziz (rahimahullah) wrote the following instructions to his children’s mentor

“ Be strict on them for this is more effective in restraining them. Stop them from sleeping after Fajr Salaah, for this causes stupidity / negligence. They should laugh less for a lot of laughing kills the heart / soul. Let the first thing you inculcate in them be the hatred for Music, for I have heard from various People of Knowledge (‘Ulamaa) that Music develops hypocrisy in the heart just as water grows grass.

Each of them should commence the day with the recitation of the Holy Quran in the proper manner. When they complete that, they should take their bows and arrows and proceed barefooted to the range. Each of them should shoot 7 times. Thereafter they should take mid-day sleep  (siesta). For Sayyiduna ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ood (Radiyallahu’anhu) use to say: Oh my children! Take siesta, for verily the devils do not do so.”

(Kitaabu Dhammil Malahi of Hafiz Ibn abi Dunya pg. 9)

Morals

These words of Khalifah ‘Umar ibn ‘Abdil ‘Azeez (rahimahullah) give us the following lessons on upbringing of children:

To commence the day with the recitation of the Quran
Not to sleep after Fajr (until after sunrise at least)
To abstain from music
To laugh less
Engagement in physical activity, like archery
The importance of siesta (qailoolah)
Each of the above are valuable lessons of life, which we as adults can implement and also inculcate in our children.

Quran Recital every morning

Many of us commence our day by reading the news, -which is more depressing than informative- or by catching up on our timeline, or sifting through emails etc.

The recitation of Qur’an, first thing in the morning will bring barakah (blessing) in our affairs throughout the day. Our children should see us reciting the Qur’an after Fajr. This will subconsciously lead them on to the same.

Music; they are never too young to abstain

We often justify out leniency towards out kids’ indulgence in Haram or Makrooh (repulsive) deeds by saying: “They are too young”.

The fact that ‘Umar ibn ‘Abdil ‘Azeez RH detested music even for his under aged children, demonstrates to us how we should view the training of our own.

Don’t allow the seeds of hypocrisy to grow even at that tender age. The computer games that they play should be free of foul language, evil habits and the music should be turned off. Never underestimate the effect that these supposed “games” could have on an innocent mind. It’s sad, how lightly we take the issue of Music that we repeatedly need to be cautioned of our ringtones.

Who is there that can say he has never heard a musical ringtone go off while in Salah in the Masjid?!

Who would have believed it if we were told a decade ago, that a time will come when a muslim will play music -or at least allow it to be played- while in sajdah, the closest posture we could get to Allah Ta’ala?!

Entertainment

Today we all look for how to be best entertained rather than spend our time usefully.

Laughter and jokes have become so common, that at times one will notice people joking even at a janazah!

The rare opportunity we get to ponder about death doesn’t pass with an unnecessary joke or fable being shared.

Even in religious lectures, the crowds are inflated if the speaker can entertain better…

As mentioned earlier, these were ‘Umar ibn ‘Abdil ‘Azeez’s (Rahimahullah) guidelines for the upbringing of children. Alas many of us adults need this lesson too.

Natural physical activity

‘Khalifah ‘Umar ibn ‘Abdil ‘Azeez (Rahimahullah) specifically ordered the mentor to take them outdoors for archery daily. The pagan Arabs also preferred to send their kids to the villages where they could spend their time outdoors, herding goats and learning basic life skills. In fact, until a few decades ago, we too would spend our days outdoors in various activities.

Today’s child may be engaging in very similar activities too, but instead of it being outdoors they do it on a screen! It’s no more physical, it’s actually electronic!

Physical activity has its own benefit in early childhood development that can never be replaced with any electronic device. Parents need to carefully think of ways to keep their children occupied in a manner that won’t just keep them from bothering their parents, but ways that will enhance the child’s mind, body and Iman as well.

May Allah guide us all, and may He inspire us with the correct tact in upbringing our innocent offspring. Ameen .

19 Jamadul Awaal 1437

Categories
Miscellaneous

Feeling Quotatious!

dont

Time is a Precious Commodity

نِعْمَتَانِ مَغبونٌ فيهما كَثيرٌ مِنَ النَّاسِ  الصِّحَّةُ ، وَالفَرَاغُ

The two most undervalued assets by people are good health and leisure time.

The Prophet Muḥammad (peace and blessings be upon him)

[Bukhārī 5933, Tirmidhī 2226, Ibn Mājah 4160, Aḥmad 2224, 3038, Dārimī 2591, Riyad al-Saliheen #97]

                  ———————————

attitude

The Fault is in Us, Not in Time

نَعِيبُ زَمَانَنَا وَ العَيبُ فِينَا

وَ مَا لِزَمَانِنَا عَيبٌ سِوَانَا

“We blame time and the fault is in us,

There is no fault in time except us.”

— Imām al-Shāfi‘ī RH [d. 204H/820CE]

(Read on pg 39, Dr. Gohar Mushtaq, The Intelligent Heart, The Pure Heart. Ta-Ha Publishers. London: 2006.)

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“Losing time is worse than death, as losing time keeps you away from Allah and the Hereafter, while death keeps you away from the worldly life and people.”

– Ibn al-Qayyim RHyou are

Today is All You Have

إن بلاءنا أننا نعجز عن حاضرنا و نشتغل بماضينا ،  نهمل قصورنا الجميلة ، و نندب الأطلال البالية . . . الريح تتجه إلى الأمام ، و الماء ينحدر إلى الأمام ، و القافلة تسير إلى الأمام ، فلا تخالف سنة الحياة

Our tragedy is that we are incapable of dealing with the present. Neglecting our beautiful castles, we wail over dilapidated buildings. Everything on earth marches forward, preparing for a new season—and so should you.

—‘Āiḍ al-Qarnī, Don’t Be Sad. International Islamic Publishing House. 2002hela

Beware of Three

Beware of Allah’s anger with regards to three:

  1. Beware that you fall into shortcomings concerning what He has commanded you.
  2. Beware that He sees you while you are feeling discontent concerning the provision He has granted you.
  3. Beware of feeling dismay at your Lord if you seek a provision of this life, but cannot acquire it.

—’Sufyān al-Thawrī RH [161H/778CE]

(Read on pg 24, Abdul-Malik bin Muhammad ibn Abdul Rahman Al-Qasim, Life is a Fading Shadow. Darussalam Publishers. Riyadh:1999.)ismailsatia

Remedy for the Heart

There are two main things you have to do. The first is to move your heart from dwelling on the things of this world and move it to dwell on the Hereafter, then focus all your heart on the Qur’an and ponder its meanings and why it was revealed. Try to understand something from every aayah and apply it to the disease of your heart. These aayaat were revealed (to treat) the disease of the heart, so you will be healed, by the permission of Allah.

—Ibn al-Qayyim RH [d. 751H/1350CE] on curing one’s heart

(Read on pg 57, Shaikh Muhammad Salih al-Munajjid, Weakness of Iman. Dar us-Sunnah Publisher. Birmingham:2003.)

koran

Satan’s 3 Wishes

Iblis (satan) said, “If I win three things from the son of Adam, I will have earned what I wanted from him: if he forgets his sins, thinks high of his actions, and becomes fond of his opinion.”

—Dirar b. Murrah RH

Sifatus-Safwah vol. 3, p. 116

(Read on pg 39, Abdul-Malik bin Muhammad ibn Abdul Rahman Al-Qasim, Life is a Fading Shadow. Darussalam Publishers. Riyadh:1999.)

lessons

Its not the land that make anyone Holy . . .

The Companion Abu’l-Dardā’ RA who was living in the land of al-Shām (present day Syria/Palestine) once invited his colleague Salmān al-Farsī RA to come and live with him in the Holy Land. Salmān RA wrote back to him:

إِنَّ الأَرْضَ لا تُقَدِّسُ أَحَدًا ، وَإِنَّمَا يُقَدِّسُ الإِنْسَانَ عَمَلُهُ

It is not the land that makes anyone holy, but one’s deeds.

—Salmān al-Farsī RA [d. 35/644]

[Muwaṭṭa’ Mālik]

patirn

You Are Everything Today but MUSLIM!

Lament that in the world, Muslims are descending

We say this in reply that you are condescending

With alien ways and culture you are not transcending

Are you Muslim still, what message are you sending

You are Syed, you are Mirza, Afghan in origin

Everything you are, but ARE YOU MUSLIM in religion?

—The timeless poet Muḥammad Iqbāl RH [d 1357/1938]

[from Rhymed Translations of Selected Ghazals by Khwaja Tariq Mahmood]

 

أفضل الأعمال ما أكرهت عليه النفوس

Imam Abu Bakr ibn Abid Dunya (rahimahullah) has recorded this as the statement of ‘Umar ibn ‘Abdil ‘Aziz (rahimahullah). (Muhasabatun Nafs, Hadith: 113)

Translation

“The best actions are those which the nafs is forced to carry out/dislikes doing.”

Categories
Personalities

The Gentle Giant


Omar Ibn Khattab Series

30 Episodes on the Life of Umar (Allah be pleased with him)

Quotes of ‘Umar (radiyallahu ‘anhu)

Umar bin Al-Khattab, the second caliph and Companion of the Prophet (peace be upon him) once said that if it were not for three pleasures, he would not find any joy in life.

One of these three pleasures was “sitting in the company of men who like to pick good topics for conversation just as people like to pick good dates from a tree.”

“Beware of excessive meat, for it has an addiction similar to that of wine”- (Muwatta Imam Malik, Hadith: 2702)

“Get used to a tough life, for luxury does not last forever.”

“I have never regretted my silence. As for my speech I’ve regretted it many times.”

“Allah loves moderation and hates extravagance and excess.”“I thought of all types of wealth, but couldn’t find a better wealth than contentment in a little.”“Let not your love become attachment, nor your hate become destruction.”“May God bless the man who says less and does more.”“Patience is the healthiest ingredient of our life.”“Doing good for a good done to you is simply repayment, whereas doing good for an evil done to you is a tremendous virtue.”

Umar ibnul Khattab (ra) said: ”Invite people to Islam even without words” They asked ”How?” He replied ”With your manners.”

“I fear the day where disbelievers are proud of their falsehood and Muslims are shy of their faith.”

“The biggest gift after Iman (Faith) is your wives.”

وجدنا خير عيشنا بالصبر “We found the best of our lives through patience.”

Sayyiduna ‘Umar ibn Al Khattab (radiyallahu ‘anhu) wrote to his his governors saying, “In my view, the most important of your affairs is Salah. Whoever protects it and performs it [habitually and timeously], is protecting his Din. Whoever is negligent about it will be even more negligent about other matters…” (Muwatta Imam Malik, Hadith: 6)

‘Umar (May Allah be pleased with him)was an excellent judge of character, and he said:“Do not be deceived by a man’s eloquence rather whoever fulfills trusts and refrains from impugning people’s honor is a real man.”

And he used to say: “Don’t look at a man’s prayer or fasting, rather look at his reason and honesty.”

And he said: “There are two types of men I do not fear for you: A believer whose faith is obvious and a kafir whose kufr is obvious. Rather I fear for you the hypocrite who hides behind a show of faith but strives for some other purpose.

“When you see that any scholar loves the world, then his scholarship is in doubt.”

Umar RA series Click above or try this

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Justice of Caliph Umar RAhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwNa2vn4UicMawlana Tariq Jamil Sahebhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n37MLZbJBvM

The famous Tabi’i; Sayyiduna Sa’id ibn Musayyab (rahimahullah) reports that Sayyiduna ‘Umar (radiyallahu ‘anhu) laid eighteen sterling advices for the people, each one filled with wisdom:

1. When someone disobeys Allah in matters that impacts on you, you can retaliate in no better way than obeying Allah in matters that impact on him.

2. Always assume the best about your brother unless you learn something about him that you cannot reconcile.

3. Never assume the worst about any statement that a Muslim makes as long as you are able to make a good interpretation.

4. One who exposes himself to suspicion must never blame anyone who holds a bad opinion of him.

5. Whoever guards his secrets will retain the choice [and control of it] in his hands.

6. Ensure that you keep true friends to stay under their wings because they are a source of beauty during times of prosperity and a means of protection during times of hardship.

7. Ensure that you speak the truth even if it leads to your death.

8. Never delve into matters that do not concern you.

9. Do not ask about matters that have not occurred because that which has already taken place is enough to keep you occupied from that which has not.

10. Never seek your needs from one who does not love to see your success.

11. Never keep the company of a sinner, as you will learn his sinful ways.

12. Keep away from your enemy.

13 & 14. Beware even of your friends, except for the trustworthy one and none can be trustworthy unless he fears Allah.

15. To be humble in speech.

16. Lower yourself in obedience of Allah.

17. Stand firm against His disobedience.

18. Consult in your matters those who fear Allah, indeed Allah says:

انما يخشى الله من عباده العلمؤا

It is those who have knowledge among His slaves that fear Allah. (Surah Fatir, Verse: 28)

(Rawdatul ‘Uqala of Imam Ibn Hibban (rahimahullah), pg.82-83 with a chain of reliable narrators)

Ismail Ibn Nazir Satia (One who is in dire need of Allah’s forgiveness, mercy and pleasure)30 Sha’ban 1436