In a world of Kardashians, be a Khadeejah RA.

In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the especially Merciful.

“She broke the internet,” they proudly said. “Who did?” asked the little, old man living under the rock.  Kim Kardashian broke the internet by flaunting her fully revealed derrière, slim waistline and all the rest.

We live in a world where women are awarded God-like statuses for having cheekbones so defined they can cut, for having their eyebrows sculpted with the latest tools and for having an eye-poppingly, beautiful hourglass figure. We live in a sad society where girls half my height (I’m an average 5’6 for the record) know how to contour and strobe and highlight and crease.  Now, don’t jump the gun and box me off with the other ‘haraam police’ suffocating in the last cabinet drawer.  I am a huge lover for all things make up and beauty but my concern lies when they have the power to conjure people into obsessive, obnoxious and narcissistic beings.

Turn on the TV, look at billboards around you, pick up a magazine or two, flick through Instagram and you will notice how we, as a society, are sickeningly fascinated or almost bewitched by good looks.

This fascination is universal. Some may disagree and say it’s limited to certain groups of people or specific cultures but I strongly believe otherwise.  Being British Asian, I’ve seen it on both sides and it is the topic that will solely take up most of my ‘Things I HATE’ list.  I have witnessed women gossiping with hearts flashing in their eyes about X who is so slender, so tall and oh so rosy in comparison to Y who, said with almost an expression of sympathy (argh the nerve!), is on the other end of the spectrum. There will be zero mention of piety, zero mention of intelligence and absolutely no mention of their personality. I find it incredibly sad, shallow and superficial that there is no recognition of things that actually require effort like wit, charisma, individuality, loyalty, humour, confidence, ambition and so much more.

We are surrounded by the Kardashians who, in my personal opinion, have really escalated this vile ideology of looks over the rest.

In this difficult age, I salute women whose role models are the likes of Khadeejah and Aa’ishah (Allah be pleased with them both).  As much as I love Aa’ishah (Allah be pleased with her) for her vast knowledge and defiance in the face of corruption, my heart melts with deep love for Khadeejah (Allah be pleased with her).  Her existence precedes mine by over 1400 years but every aspect of her beloved personality and character can be absorbed into ours and if I can, at the very least, continuously strive to mirror that, I am happy.

Khadeejah (Allah be pleased with her) was the daughter of Khuwaylid and Fatimah; they were almost figures of royalty amongst the Quraysh. She was widowed twice and had a son before her marriage to prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings upon him). Khadeejah (Allah be pleased with her) had heard about the honesty and truthfulness of Muhammad (peace and blessings upon him) but asked Nafisah and Maysarah more on his character. Why? Because ultimately, that’s what matters. Muhammad (peace and blessings upon him) and Khadeejah (Allah be pleased with her) came together through character and their marriage was praised throughout Makkah.

When the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings upon him) would remain in Hirah for days on end out of his love for isolation and contemplation, Khadeejah (Allah be pleased with her)  did not complain about his lack of given family time or his continuous absence. Rather, she herself, at the old age of fifty-five, would climb up the rocky mountain to deliver his food and to offer comfort.

On the day of the first revelation when our prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings upon him) came down in a state of shock and confusion and spoke those famous words asking Khadeejah (Allah be pleased with her) to cover him, she didn’t say to him that maybe you shouldn’t be up there in the first place or maybe you’re just going mad all alone or maybe some demons have possessed you. Instead, she religiously, physically and emotionally consoled him. She (Allah be pleased with her) immediately tried to alleviate the grief that had struck our prophet by soothing him with her words, ‘Allah will never disgrace you.’ She (Allah be pleased with her) went on and listed all the beautiful natured habits he held and in essence, was telling him how much she loved him and how much Allah loved him (peace and blessings upon him) came.

وَاللَّهِ مَا يُخْزِيكَ اللَّهُ أَبَدًا، إِنَّكَ لَتَصِلُ الرَّحِمَ، وَتَحْمِلُ الْكَلَّ، وَتَكْسِبُ الْمَعْدُومَ، وَتَقْرِي الضَّيْفَ، وَتُعِينُ عَلَى نَوَائِبِ الْحَقِّ

“By Allah, Allah ﷻwill never disgrace you. You keep good relations with your kith and kin, help the poor and the destitute, serve your guests generously and assist the deserving calamity-afflicted ones.” (Bukhari)

This woman, the beautiful Khadeejah (Allah be pleased with her), who lived her life like a queen with all the luxuries, supported our Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings upon him) with all that she had financially.  When times got incredibly tough during the boycott, she didn’t have access to, what was once a basic necessity for her, food and drink.  Despite this, she never once wavered but defiantly stood beside our Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings upon him) as a solid force of support and loyalty.

When Khadeejah died (Allah be pleased with her), this support system that never once faltered before came tumbling down. Our prophet Muhammad’s (peace and blessings upon him) loyal wife, first believer, strong supporter,  children’s mother, died as a result of the boycott. She was his fallback, she facilitated his aim, she complimented him in his goal. We all need that one person who will believe in us unconditionally, who will stand by us in moments of fear, insecurity and vulnerability, who will catch us when the going gets tough, who will facilitate our dreams, who will be our backbone and for our Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings upon him), that person was none other than the mighty Khadeejah (Allah be pleased with her).

I dream of a world where women are inspired by others due to everything other than what they are naturally blessed with. I dream of a world where every woman is more than just the fine nose and the hollow cheeks. I dream of a world where every woman is driven by an inner substance and a raging ambition. I dream of a world where every woman wants to be a Khadeejah (Allah be pleased with her) and not a Kardashian.

Allah grant every Muslimah the understanding of her true value, and the courage to practise her faith wholly for His pleasure. Ameen.

Umm Abdullah

20 Safar 1437