Category: Muslim men

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Muslim men

Reviving our Sense of Gheerah

We live in societies in which most men and women have lost their sense of modesty, women are obsessed with their appearances and wear clothes to be seen by others and to attract the attention of other men even if they are married! They have lost their sense of shame. Marriage is often looked upon as old-fashioned and short-term affairs and frivolous relationships are the norms, everyone waiting to attract a better partner and feeling totally justified to dump one partner for another at the drop of a hat. Feminism too has reached its peak and men and women are told to suppress their natural emotions. Men are not even embarrassed when their wives are dressed up and attract the attention of other men, they don’t mind if another man sees, chats laughs and even dances with their womenfolk and if they do mind, they are told not to be so possessive!

In Islam, we have a concept of gheerah. Gheerah is an Arabic word which means protectiveness or jealousy. It is a good type of jealousy, like when a man feels jealous or protective over his wife or sisters and other-womenfolk and doesn’t like other men to look at them. It is a natural inbuilt feeling Allah has given men and women. The Prophet (peace be upon him) had the most gheerah for his wives and all of the companions were known for their gheerah. All Muslim men should have a collective sense of protectiveness for Muslim women as Allah says in the Qur’an, the meaning of which is:

“The Men are the protectors and maintainers of women…”  [1]

Men who do not care about how their women behave and appear in front of other men and don’t enforce hijaab upon their wives or women-folk are called dayyooth. Being a dayyooth is a major sin and a detailed description of this evil characteristic can be found in al-Dhahabi’s Book of Major Sins.

A story of Gheerah

To further understand the quality of gheerah, we can look at an incident that Asma’ (may Allah be pleased with her) the daughter of Abu Bakr al-Siddiq (may Allah be pleased with him) and sister of Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), relates about herself. Abu Bakr was a wealthy merchant and married his daughter Asma’ to the great companion Az-Zubayr ibn al-‘Awwam (may Allah be pleased with him) who was a very poor man but a man of great piety and one of the companions who was promised Paradise. Asma’ relates:

“When Zubayr married me, he had neither land nor wealth nor slave…” so Asma’ had to work very hard kneading dough, going far off to get water. “And I used to carry on my head,” she continues, “the date stones from the land of Zubair which Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) had endowed him and it was a distance of two miles from Madinah. One day, as I was carrying the date-stones upon my head, I happened to meet Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him), along with a group of his Companions. He called me and told the camel to sit down so that he could make me ride behind him. I felt shy to go with men and I remembered Zubair and his gheerah and he was a man having the most gheerah. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) understood my shyness and left. I came to Zubair and said: “The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) met me as I was carrying date-stones upon my head and there was with him a group of his Companions. He told the camel to kneel so that I could mount it, but I felt shy and I remembered your gheerah.” So Asma’ declined the offer made by the Prophet (peace be upon him). Upon this Zubair said: “By Allah, the thought of you carrying date-stones upon your head is more severe a burden on me than you riding with him.”[2]

Look at the sense of dignity and modesty of Asma’! See how she felt shy in front of men? See how careful she was about her husband’s feelings? She knew that her husband had a lot of gheerah so she didn’t want to upset him by accepting the Prophet’s (peace be upon him) help even though the Prophet was the purest of men and even though it meant bringing hardship on herself! And look at Zubair (may Allah be pleased with him), even though he had a lot of gheerah, he didn’t want to inconvenience his wife. What a beautiful relationship they had!
 Nurturing our sense of Gheerah

Sometimes Muslim women don’t understand if their menfolk want them to cover their faces or if they ask them to change something about the way they dress or speak in public, thinking that the men are being over-protective. But my dear sisters! If your husband asks you not to wear a certain colour of khimar because it brings out the beauty of your eyes or if he wants you to cover your face – be thankful! Be proud of the fact that your husband has a sense of gheerah for you and that he values you and cares for your hereafter. He knows what men can be like more than you do and so never try and suppress his gheerah in these types of matters. And his concern for you should incite your own sense of honour! Why should any man be able to see your beauty and think indecent thoughts about you? We must nurture our own and our menfolk’s sense of gheerah by behaving and dressing modestly ourselves and paying attention to their valid opinions. We expect certain behaviour from them and they expect it of us. And besides, if our husband asks us to do something that is not haram, we must do it.

Brothers! How can you allow your wife or sister to walk around attracting the attention and evil-thoughts of other men? How can you not mind if she smiles as she talks to other men? Nobody has the right to enjoy her and her company but you and her Maharim men. You are not overbearing if you first encourage and then enforce the hijab on your womenfolk because YOU will be asked about it on the Day of Judgement and it is also a major sin upon you! It is upon the men to enforce these things in their homes and you cannot use the excuse that your wife didn’t want to. Women need a firm, balanced, guiding hand from their men, so with wisdom, you must enforce hijab in your home. You are a shepherd and are responsible for your flock!

Allah reminds us all in the Qur’an, the meaning of which is:

“O you who believe, Protect yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones.”[3]

There is a big difference between how Islam values and protects women and how cheaply women are treated outside of Islam. As Muslims, we have to be careful that our sense of modesty, shame and gheerah don’t wear out in a society in which people have lost it.

 

Notes:
Islam21c requests all the readers of this article, and others, to share it on your facebook, twitter, and other platforms to further spread our efforts.
Ibn ‘Umar RA said:
Abu Moosa Al-Ash’ari RA gave a mat to ‘Umar’s RA wife ‘Aatikah Bint Zayd RA, and I think that it was one cubit and a handspan. ‘Umar saw it with her and said, “Where did you get this from?”
She said, “Abu Moosa Al-Ash’ari RA gave it to me.”
‘Umar RA took it and hit her with it, then he said, “Bring Abu Moosa to me.”
So he was brought to him and he (Abu Moosa Al-Ash’ari) said, “Don’t be hasty, O’ Ameer Al-Mu’mineen (Leader of the believers).”
‘Umar RA said, “What made you give gifts to my womenfolk?” Then ‘Umar RA took it and hit him with it, and said, “Take it, we have no need for it.”
[Taken from ‘Umar Ibn Al-Khattab, His Life And Times, By ‘Ali Muhammad As-Sallabi, Vol. I, Pp. 134-135 & 251]

 

قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: إني غيور وإن إبراهيم كان غيورا وما من امرئ لا يغار إلا منكوس القلب

Imam Abu Bakr ibn Abi Shaybah (rahimahullah) has recorded this Hadith [mursalan] with a weak chain.

(Musannaf Ibn Abi Shaybah with annotations of Shaykh Muhammad ‘Awwamah -hafizahullah-, Hadith: 18009)

Translation

Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:

“Most certainly I have a sense of possessiveness [over my wives] and Ibrahim (‘alayhis salam) also had a sense of possessiveness over [his wife]. None except a [cuckold] is void of this quality.

And Allah Ta’ala Knows Best.

Answered by: Moulana Suhail Motala

Categories
Muslim men

The Call to Jannah

In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.

Do you have a yearning to be close to Allah?

The Prophet (pbuh) said: “The servant is closest to Allah when he is in sujood (prostration). So increase your du’aa (prayer) whilst in that state.” (Muslim)

Would you like to gain reward equivalent to an accepted Hajj?

The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Performing Umrah in Ramadhan is equal to (the reward of) Hajj” (or according to some narrations) “…Hajj with me.” (Bukhari/Muslim)

Would you like a house in Paradise?

The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Whoever builds a Masjid for the sake of Allah, Allah will build for him a house similar (to that) in Jannah.” (Muslim)

Would you like to gain the pleasure of Allah SWT?

The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Allah is happy with a servant who when he eats, praises Allah and when he drinks, he praises Allah.” (Muslim)

Would you like your Du’aas to be accepted?

The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Du’aa (made) between Adhan and Iqamah will never be rejected.”

Would you like a reward equivalent to fasting for a whole year to be written for you?

The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Fasting three days every month equals to fasting for a lifetime.”

Would you like rewards that equal to a mountain?

The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Whoever attends a Janazah (funeral) and prays Salah receives the reward of one ‘Qeeraat’ and whoever stays until the burial he will receives the reward of two ‘Qeeraats.’ It was asked. “And what are two Qeerats?” He (pbuh) said, “Equal to two great mountains!” (Bukhari/Muslim)

Would you like the company of the Prophet (pbuh) in Jannah?

The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Me and the guardian of the orphan will be in Jannah like this (at this point he [pbuh] joined his index and middle finger together) (Bukhari)

Would you like the reward of a soldier in the path of Allah or the reward of a fasting person or one who stands for night prayer?

The Prophet (pbuh) said: “The caretaker of the widows and the orphans is like a soldier in the path of Allah.” Or (according to some narrations), he (pbuh) said… “Is like someone who stands for night prayer and does not tire, and like a fasting person who does not do Iftar.” (Bukhari/Muslim)

Would you like the Prophet’s (pbuh) guarantee that you will enter paradise?

The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Whosoever guarantees me (to safeguard) that which is between his jaws and (to safeguard) that which is between his thighs, I will guarantee him paradise. (Bukhari/Muslim)

Would you like your actions to continue after your death?

The Prophet (pbuh) said: “When a person dies, all of his actions cut off except three: Sadqah Jariyah (continuous charity), knowledge which benefited someone, or a pious child who prays for you.” (Muslim)

Would you like a treasure from the treasures of Jannah?

The Prophet (pbuh) said, “La hawla wa laa quwwata illa billah is a treasure from the treasures of Jannah.” (Bukhari/Muslim)

Would you like the reward of standing the whole night in prayer?

The Prophet (pbuh) said, “Whoever prayed Isha Salah with Jama’ah, it is as though he stood in prayer half the night, whoever prayed Fajr with Jama’ah, it is as though he has stood the whole night in prayer.” (Muslim)

Would you like to read a third of the Qur’an in one minute?

The Prophet (pbuh) said, “Surah Ikhlas is equal to a third of the Qur’an.” (Muslim)

Would you like to make the good deeds heavier in your scale?

The Prophet (pbuh) said, “Two words are beloved to Rahman, light on the tongue and heavy in the scale. (They are) Subhan’Allahi wa biHam’dihee Subhan’Allahil Adheem.” (Bukhari)

Would you like your sustenance to be abundant and your lifespan to be long?

The Prophet (pbuh) said, “If you would like to have abundance in your sustenance and your lifespan to be increased, join ties (with your relatives).”

Would you like Allah to protect you?

The Prophet (pbuh) said, “Whoever prays Fajr Salah he is in Allah’s protection.”

Would you like your sins to be forgiven even if they are many?

The Prophet (pbuh) said, “Whoever says Subhaan’Allahi wa biham’dihee 100 times in a day his sins will be forgiven, even if they are equal to the foams of the ocean.” (Bukhari/Muslim)

Would you like there to be a distance of seventy years between you and hellfire?

The Prophet (pbuh) said, “Whoever keeps a fast in the path of Allah, Allah will remove him from the fire a distance of seventy years.” (Bukhari)

Would you like Allah to send blessings upon you?

The Prophet (pbuh) said, “Whoever sends salutations (durood) upon me, Allah sends tens blessings upon him in return.” (Muslim)

Would you like Allah to raise your status?

The Prophet (pbuh) said, “Whoever humbles himself before Allah, Allah ‘azza wa jalla’ will elevate his status.” (Muslim)

Translated by Mawlana Ismail Satia  (In dire need of Allah’s forgiveness, mercy and pleasure).

Ramadhan 1435