Tag: yasir

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Current Affairs articles

Five Questions Raised by the LGBTQ Community (or sometimes by innocent children due to lack of knowledge).

Five Questions Raised by the LGBTQ Community (or sometimes by innocent children due to lack of knowledge) from the lecture of Shaykh Yasir Qadhi, Texas.

1. Why does Allah SWT care if two people love each other, same gender or not?

To answer this we need to look at the Qur’an which explicitly mentions the story of Loot AS and uses the word Fahisha. There is “ijma” unanimous consensus that homosexuality is Haram, nobody ever disagreed with that from the Ummah, past or present.

We must remember anything that Allāh SWT prohibited is not only Haram but usually they are things that are harmful and detrimental for us.

Islam promotes opposite gender unions, via this avenue procreation is possible and family life with children is achieved by this. Even in the animal kingdom, we see naturally, the male is attracted to the female. If someone has same-sexsinner, but tendencies and struggles with this habit, they will be a sinner but it’s once you no longer think it’s Haram and be proud of your sin it leads to kufr/disbelief.

2. Why does it matter if two people sin in private? How does it harm Islam? Why do Imams and Preachers need to keep badgering us about it?

Firstly, let us establish some facts, nobody is knocking down your bedroom and nobody is invading your privacy. Every human is a sinner and those sins done in private still need to be preached against and the masses need to be educated regarding them.

What is an open sin?

Abu Huraira RA: I heard Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) saying. “All the sins of my followers will be forgiven except those of the Mujahirin (those who disclose their sins to the people). An example of such disclosure is that a person commits a sin at night and though Allah screens it from the public, then he comes in the morning, and says, ‘O so-and-so, I did such-and-such (evil) deed yesterday,’ though he spent his night screened by his Lord (none knowing about his sin) and in the morning he removes Allah’s screen from himself.” Bukhari

For example, if a person drinks alcohol, takes drugs or watches pornography (all done in private) we still have a moral duty to teach people the harms of these sins. Nowadays, sins are no longer private, due to a lack of modesty people are openly committing sins, sharing them (on social media), and then justifying them, we have “pride” over our sins, excuse the pun!

When you commit a sin and regret it, and show remorse you are in the realm of a sinner. But when you commit a sin and flout it, show off, and share it on social media to the point of justifying it then you are no longer a sinner, it is disbelief (kufr). The sin of LGBTQ is no longer a bedroom sin (maybe 20-30 years ago it was). We now have a whole month dedicated to it and millions are being spent to promote it, hence we will preach against it in public!

3. Why do religious people and Imams only talk about the the topic of LGBTQ? There are so many topics like racism, social injustice, and the broken health system. Is it because religious people love talking about sexuality?

We can answer this charge by saying that every sector talks about morality and sexuality in their own way and we Muslims have our way. Even liberalism speaks about their version of sexuality.

WhatAboutIsm

These sorts of questions come under the notion of WhatAboutIsm, don’t fall for it. This notion means to talk about one issue and not another. For example, a father tells his son to make sure you revise for your GCSE exams and pass. The son replies, don’t worry about my revision/exams, Dad. You just make sure you pay the mortgage and the bills and put food on the table! Naturally, the father will reply, what do your exams have to do with the mortgage?

In the same way, people criticise Imams by saying talk about one topic, not another. We see this a lot with workers from the Charity sector who always talk about Syria and Gaza and it’s only about Syria and Gaza, if an Imam talks about Domestic Violence they will say it’s irrelevant and not important. My short answer there are 52 Khutbahs in a year, one for LGBT, one for Syria/Gaza, one for DV, and so forth.

4. Islam teaches us about love, why do you preach against it? Two people love each and you tell us we can’t, isn’t this hate speech?

Nobody is against (halal) love, nobody is against caring for one another. Here we are preaching against the act of sodomy, there’s a big difference. Even if someone had a relationship with the opposite gender before nikah we would preach against it, let alone same-sex relationships which can’t be made halal through nikah.

When an Imam preaches against sin, any sin, it is to teach the masses that this is wrong and unethical. But if a brother comes to us in the Masjid and genuinely tells us he is struggling with the sin of LGBTQ then we will welcome him with open arms and help him to curb his desires, just like we help the alcoholic and the drug addict. Because we are all sinners, join the club! We all sin, maybe just in a different manner.

When You’re Gay and Muslim – Finding Allah’s Meaning in All of It

An article by a gay Muslim who explains his struggles and accepts it as a weakness.

If someone acknowledges they are doing wrong, we will help them. But when you take pride in your sin, how can we take pride in accepting you as our Muslim brother?

5. The LGBTQ Community is one that is a helpful community, they advocate justice and champion our civil rights. You imams with your religious rhetoric are fuelling hatred against them, which consequently leads them to get physically and verbally abused.

Getting help from someone is not a sin, whether they are a Christian or Jew or Gay. But appreciating someone’s help doesn’t mean we facilitate their sin. Read that again

Let us remember in the Seerah a man called Mutim bin Adiyy helped the Muslims but he also worshipped idols, the Prophet SAW appreciated his help and praised him after his death. If someone wants generic help we will help them no matter who they are, like feeding the homeless and handing out sadaqah, we will not ask people their sexual orientation. We will work together where we can.

The Qur’an says, “help each other upon goodness and piety and don’t help each other upon sin and transgression” (Surah Madinah). We will work with any community against racism, injustice and violence but we will not facilitate open sinners. We have a higher Lord SWT to answer to, it’s not a case of you scratch my back and I will scratch yours. No tit for that. Become men of principles.

Dear brothers and sisters, to conclude this topic, our Shariah teaches us purity and wholesomeness, it embraces modesty and shyness. Do not be ashamed of who you are, and do not be enticed by the path of others no matter how dazzling they look. Enter Islam in its entirety and follow the religion completely even if the whole world is against you and doesn’t understand you, we know we are following Haqq that’s all that matters, Allah keep us stead, Ameen.

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Marriage

Thoughts on Divorce

Dr. Shaykh Yasir Qadhi, USA

As religious clerics, we are constantly involved in divorce issues in our communities. This topic needs to be talked about all the time – the fact that it has become taboo and is never mentioned actually compounds the problems of divorce. Most people never even think about the possibility of divorce and are totally unprepared if they are found in a situation where divorce is the better option. Sadly, the vast majority of divorces that occur don’t even follow proper Islamic protocol (of engaging in the correct steps before the divorce, and then if the step is indeed taken, to divorce in the proper manner). I wanted to highlight one especially important matter. Divorce really shows the true character of a person. Understandably, emotions are raw, pain is incalculable, and a person typically feels a sense of betrayal and intense grief. There is always a long list of grievances that each party will have (although one party typically will have a longer list): some legitimate, some exaggerated, some trivial, and some that are just pure misunderstandings. In such an emotional state, how you react and what you do will speak volumes of the real ‘you’. Will you become vindictive? Does that pain that you feel blind you to the pain you now have the power to unnecessarily cause? Will you work hard to go out of your way to be mean and nasty so that you feel better about yourself in getting some petty revenge? Or will you realize that despite all that has happened, there was a point in your life where the two of you shared a very, very special bond that makes you two different from any other two people on earth? Perhaps there are children involved: so in this case you will permanently share yet another miracle of life together. And hence, with that unique closeness and bond, you will instead control your pain and work to minimize the pain in the other partner as well. Allah references this special feeling and bond when He chastises men for daring to think of taking the mahr money, وَكَيْفَ تَأْخُذُونَهُ وَقَدْ أَفْضَىٰ بَعْضُكُمْ إِلَىٰ بَعْضٍ وَأَخَذْنَ مِنكُم مِّيثَاقًا غَلِيظًا “And how could you dare take it, after the two of you were drawn to each other (in intimacy), and she [trusted you] by taking a firm commitment from you” [Nisa: 21]. Allah questions how any man can be so evil as to take away the rights of a woman he was intimate with, and a woman who trusted him by giving herself over to him because he made a commitment to her – a firm, strong, binding commitment taken in the name of Allah – that he would treat her with dignity. The verse is addressed to men because, firstly, they have certain privileges and responsibilities over women, and secondly, because it is easier and more common for the man to be more abusive than the woman (again, this is generic, and of course each gender can be abusive). A divorce is not evil. Sometimes two people just don’t get along, and that’s fine. Understandably, divorces typically don’t occur in an environment of love and compassion. But that doesn’t mean they have to be devoid of compassion and mercy either. Be fair, be just, be compassionate, be generous, and expect Allah to reward you. Allah reminds men (again, men, because of the two reasons above) {فَإِذَا بَلَغْنَ أَجَلَهُنَّ فَأَمْسِكُوهُنَّ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ فَارِقُوهُنَّ بِمَعْرُوفٍ} “Once the waiting period is over, then either keep your wife in kindness and equitable terms or let her go in kindness and equitable terms” [Ṭalaq: 2]. The word مَعْرُوفٍ means that which is considered honourable and dignified; that which is accepted as being good in your culture. Sometimes, a divorce is indeed the better option. Please brothers especially, but yes also sisters, if divorce is the option you feel is best, do it, but do it properly, and show yourself, and your family and friends, and most importantly show Allah, who you really are.

During such a difficult time, be compassionate and merciful even as you are forced by circumstance to end a contract that was supposed to be a building you a life of compassion and mercy.

A good husband or wife is a good person: just because the marriage contract ends, your humanity shouldn’t.

1 Rabiul Awwal 1442

Categories
Marriage

Successful Parenting in the West – Dr Yasir Qadhi

Successful Parenting in the West – Shaykh Yasir Qadhi
4th April 2019 – Manchester, Read Foundation Dinner (Paraphrased)
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Family, family, family. The family is one of the greatest blessings given to humanity, if Allah didn’t want to give this gift He wouldn’t have. When Allah told the angels that humans will be created, he used the word Khalifa which is often mistaken for meaning vice-regent, but its technical definition means a generation that will keep on replicating, the regeneration of families, because the angels don’t have to have these, the angels don’t have families they don’t marry other angels and have children. The same angel that was created millions of years ago is the same angel that will exist till the end of times. But humans recreate a generation that regrows and looks after each other we are created differently from the angels. We are a nation of families, we are species that Allah has created in a different manner to angels, that why Allah mentions the word Khalifah. The talk today is short and significant about raising children in the west, I’m going to share some benefits that I have myself learnt and acquired from the experience I have.  I have 4 kids and three are teenagers so I want to share with you 7 rules from my own reading and research. Anything good I share is from Allah(SWT) and anything else is from Shaytaan and me.
First Rule – There are no rules.
Anybody that tells you they have the magic solution on how to be a better parent is lying, simple as that. Anybody that promises you that if you follow this piece of advice and I can guarantee that your children will come out like this, that advice is lying, miskeen. One famous child psychologist wrote a famous book about this, and that he had a PhD from Harvard etc. that before I had any children I had 6 theories about how to raise kids, now I have 6 kids and 0 theories. There are no rules to, nobody can guarantee or promise you that this technique will make your kids better, or more Islamic there is more educated. This also explains why the Quran and Sunnah don’t come with detailed manuals on parenting; there is more in our books about fiqh of wudu and Salah than about how to be a parent. That is not because astaghfirullah Allah intentionally left it out, it is because parenting is something you learn as you go along. It is child-sensitive and parent sensitive. It’s unique. How you raise one child will not necessarily be the same as how you raise the second child. It is something you learn on the job, and the training is your own life. So even the shariah does not have specific guidelines.
There is no massive book that can be written but because advice has not been recorded in prophetic traditions, also they are culture sensitive what works in one culture might not work in another culture, and what works in one neighbourhood might not even work in the house. So there cant be no manual, It’s just general generic advice, that can be universal, that you have to think about contemplate and adapt too, that’s the first rule.
2.        The second rule is responsibility begets actions and knowledge begets responsibility.
The goal is to be a better parent that’s conscious that you are responsible in eyes of Allah, every parent should want to study and learn. Knowledge of the deen and Dunya. Benefit from Islamic advice when your education will raise awareness that will raise responsibility that will create better parenting. Some parents spend time in one thing but neglect other duties fathers concerned about one aspect like making sure they work all hours and have money for their children which is important, and mothers are always worried about whether you are fed or warm and have a jumper on. Both are concerned about something else, who is concerned with the spirituality of their children most parents only realise when it’s too late then go to the mosque to the Imam asking what went wrong, the answer is what did you do for the last 15 years both parents mothers and fathers are responsible for the spiritual welfare of your child.
You need to have fear of God in your hearts that Allah will ask me and you about our children
If we don’t have love and fear in our hearts of Allah, If you truly love your children you would provide for their spiritual wellbeing
What did you do to uplift their spirituality? Our ancestors came from another country even if parents weren’t religious the society and culture forced you to practice Islam and go to jummah and there were safety mechanisms place, to ensure your child was looked after.
In this country, there are no safety mechanisms. We are so concerned about their physical upbringing but are we not concerned about their akhirah.
Rule 3 – Actions speak louder than words
Lead by example not by words. By helping your children you need to help yourself first. Exemplifying the values of our faith you need to embody them in yourself. Your actions have to be consistent in your whole life.  If there were to be a secret to who I am today, it’s my parents people want the kids to be like. Me I’m a nobody.
When I think of my parents I always see my mums face in the Quran, I remember her always reading the Quran as we were growing up. My dad always in the community, he built the first mosque in Houston in the 60s. I subconsciously grew up with this and took it in with me. They didn’t have to tell me to do this and that, I saw them doing it, I have the love of the Quran in my heart because I saw my parents with the Quran. It came with the home ambience that Allah blessed me with a child
When I was growing up sometimes, we lived where there was no mosque nearby. Typically one salah Maghrib my dad would lead in salah as a family.  10 years Mecca and Madinah I read maghrib and isha In the harams. But when I came back there were no mosques nearby.  Subconsciously, I started replicating with my kids with toddlers behind me what I saw my dad doing as I grew up, I started leading the Salah at home with my toddlers behind me. I realised then, this act came from what upbringing my dad gave me.
You need to show your kids what you want them to be in yourself. You need to change your life if you expect your kids to change. For the sake of your children lead a better life. Contemplate if you are truly a role model.  We are all sinners but we have to strive.
4.        Rule 4 – Your family generally needs your time. More than your money
I say this especially to those that work so hard and we leave the house for so long that we think in our promotions and paycheck that’s what my kids need, which is in important too but there has to be a balance, they need that but taking time out for their children is what they need the most.
Taking time out for your family, don’t trivialise spending time with your children. A book by Gary Chapman 5 languages of love for children. Strongly encourage you to get this book.
The child to be healthy and loved, that the physical touch of human nature is important. There is a hadith of the Bedouin seeing the prophet with his grandsons kissing and picking one and playing with them, and the Bedouin is shocked  because in culture you seem more macho and manly if you don’t show affection to your children,  and he asked the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) about this, and the prophet said:  ‘what can I do if Allah has taken mercy and tenderness from your heart.’
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) played with the kids several times. Even in Salah with the prophet, the Prophet made the sajood longer because a baby was on his back. The prophet Led in salah with a baby in hand and delivered the khutbah imagine your local imam or sheikh doing that.
Secondly, he says in the book to use words of affirmations we love putting our kids down, especially in some cultures. Words of encouragement are good, we should criticise our kids at home in private.
Don’t belittle. Also, they will be the actions of acts of service you show them and rewards them with gifts.
Rule 5 – Be careful who your friends are.
Your friends will influence your children. They will influence your children and their children will influence your children. Birds of a feather flock together. Islam isn’t just road, you don’t just memorise Islam, and it is a lived experience. What do you do in your spare time, connect with a community and mosque community.  Once a week twice a week they should know the mosque, they should know the mosque community. It should be the ambience of the home.
Rule 6 – Pray WITH and FOR your family.
Pray with your family as jamaah at least once a day, make a salah, you lead it doesn’t matter how bad your tajweed, or how you say waladhaleen. Allah will still reward you and give barakah to your family.
And pray for your family ask yourself when the last time you prayed for your children was that Allah guides them
The Prophets (peace and blessings be upon them) made so many duas from their tongues for the children, if they as Prophets (peace and blessings be upon them) had to make dua for their children, then who are you and me.
It should be the regular and number one dua on your list. If you don’t make dua for your children, who else will. All these prophetic duas from Ibrahim etc are for you, that is Allah giving you the duas to make for your children.
Rule 7-  Do the best you can and leave the rest to Allah.
It’s Allah’s qadr look at Prophet Nuh (peace and blessings be upon him) was he a bad father no but look at his son, and look at Ibrahim (peace and blessings be upon him) and his father was Azhar but he had a son like Ibrahim (peace and blessings be upon him).
There are cases where kids are so away from Islam, for example, a family friend of ours, his son left Islam, which broke his dad’s heart, then after his father death then he repented and took the shahdah again because of the upbringing he remembered. That fathers dua was answered after he died.
The result is Allahs not yours.
Here we are talking about tarbiyyah of children and some parents don’t have the luxury to provide tarbiyyah of children in developiung countries, then someone has to or something has to take its place.CLoud
Question and Answers
1.      What do you do if your local mosque does not have a facility for women?
Not only having a section in the mosque a part of Sunnah, in this day and age, in this society not having it is problematic.
How do you expect women to prepare the next generation, if you take away the umbilical cords of community and Islam from them. Our women should be welcomed in the mosque, they are the future mothers of our next generation
Our women are going everywhere, shopping centres, university etc but the one place they need to be they aren’t allowed.  People quote hadith etc about them not being allowed in the mosque which is of opinion too but times have changed.  People should put positive pressure on mosques. Positive pressure is not negative. A number of the masjid in America have 4 halls, one major for brothers, one for sisters, one connected to the sisters’ soundproof room for women and children,  and one with brothers with children.
2.      My child suffers with anxiety and depression, what can I do?
Listen carefully, everyone has their speciality and people who study Islam, are not equipped to deal with anxiety, give everyone their right and haq of knowledge and only ask Imam and Sheikhs questions to do with their expertise
Go to a trained therapist, Imams will make matters worse, linking it to a child’s Iman, and this can lead to depression and suicide, which we know is increasing.  I speak as someone who trained for ten years at one of the best institutes in the world on Shariah and did not do one course on psychiatry.
3.    What is your advice on LGBT provision expected?
This is a deep and sensitive question that requires a lot of time that I don’t have.  As Muslims we are dealing with a crisis the like of which we have not dealt with before especially this issue.  As Muslims we lash with our internal and moral and external compasses
Outsiders of our faith accuse us of double standards when we want to we invoke the principle of mutual respect and tolerance but when it goes against we don’t like it.
There was a Christain mother in Alabama who didn’t want her child to study one chapter about Islam about the 5 pillars, we as muslims react with outrage what’s wrong with knowing about Islam and not reacting.  We always say live and let live.
Likewise, when our children are studying something we are critical of it.  Your child will live in a society where in order to live, it should have general knowledge of what’s going on. We are only reactionary we are not visionary, we only react. When emotions are so high intellect ceases to exist.  Our logic is integrally flawed. Our mosques and madrasah need to step up.  It’s not as though our children don’t need to learn about Sex Education. What provision are we providing them in this society and if we don’t agree with it, we need to think about where we are living and our surroundings.
We should engage and challenge things in an intellectual professional way and if not learn from those not of our religion but with similar backgrounds and beliefs on how to tackle these issues.